Amanda flies solo for another episode. This time, she shares about her journey out of a very checked out or dissociative state and home to her own body, mind, and emotions. Amanda went on this journey as she left the cult and began abuse recovery, and also more recently. She shares the ups and downs of the process, including the discomfort of checking back into your own life and becoming aware of issues that exist there as well as the joy of getting to know yourself for the first time. In the end, she finds her way home. 

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Amanda and Kyle are joined by a special guest! Skye's story caught our attention right away—her mother, the owner of an adult toy business, sent her to a fundamentalist Christian elementary school WAIT WHAT?! The part about her mom’s business is a great story and will make you chuckle, but unfortunately, this school is also where Skye first experienced grooming. It was also at this school, at just seven years old, she was told Satan was living in her heart, sparking a deconstruction journey that began decades before, well, many of us. In this episode, Skye delivers a powerful message on the importance of listening to children when they express discomfort, how naivety can make individuals more vulnerable to grooming, and the crucial role of believing and protecting survivors from further harm. She also opens up about her own journey to heal and reclaim her ability to trust and find goodness in others, even those with differing beliefs.

Topic warning: Grooming, rape, biphobia 

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We reach the end of our Six Purposes of Marriage journey! Amanda and Kyle procrastinate and talk about a lot of other things, including how the violin is the most righteous instrument, before diving into Bill Gothard’s strange teachings about what marriage “illustrates.” Amanda and Kyle recap the purpose of marriage in the IBLP cult, which is basically about abstinence and the menstrual cycle, and Amanda gets the brilliant idea to try Bill’s abstinence program for science and report back on its marital impacts. Kyle proves difficult to convince. Amanda's story about being asked to perform music for a mass wedding ceremony to Jesus gets honorable mention. 

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Mothers aren't protective. Divorce taints godly seed. A woman finally matters because she made a lot of kids who went and did church work. We talk about these topics and many other confusing aspects of Bill Gothard's teachings about pure Christian family lines. Amanda and Kyle also answer listener questions about beliefs in the cult regarding doctors/medical intervention/vaccines as well as a cult-adjacent program called "Bright Lights."

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Amanda and Kyle discuss the IBLP cult's stance on how a godly couple goes about family planning...or doesn't, because God will plan your family. We learn things like the role of proper music and abstinence in conception, the many "hidden designs" in the Bible, and how the pull out method of birth control can get you killed. 

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As Kyle puts it, this episode is all about "connecting with your spouse through abstinence." Join us as we talk about Bill Gothard's view on completeness in marriage and how not eating and not having sex play a big role. We also answer some listener questions about how to talk to people you know who are still in a cult, why the word "encouragement" was such a popular adjective for women in the cult, how the cult viewed salvation and if you could lose it, the Cook County States Attorney who was in office during the case against Amanda's brother, and programs men in the cult used for accountability. Kyle asks Amanda his own question about how the IBLP cult viewed the book of Revelations and the end times and gets a pretty gruesome response that reminds Amanda why she needed so much therapy as an adult. 

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To celebrate the one-year anniversary of The Cult I Left Behind podcast, Amanda and Kyle share their favorite moments, favorite episodes, insights into the creation of episodes, and their deep appreciate for the community that has formed around this podcast. 

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Let’s talk about sex…again! Amanda and Kyle talk through Bill Gothard’s teaching on pleasure in the marriage relationship. In a shocking turn of events (haha), everything revolves around the menstrual cycle. It turns out abstinence plays a big role in marriage pleasure, as well as in healing all manner of physical ailments. All of this wise relationship and sex advice from Bill, a man who was never married and who was a sexual predator. Definitely words to live by. 

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Did you know companionship in marriage is really about the menstrual cycle? Did you also know you’re in a covenant relationships with everyone with whom you’ve shared a meal? And that abstinence is important in marriage? Neither did we. But this is what we learn about in the IBLP Advanced Seminar materials. We also learn more about Bill Gothard’s sex rules for married couples. They’re super weird. Amanda shares an interesting message from a listener regarding the recent courtship episodes, and Amanda and Kyle answer a few listener questions…including a question about their Hogwarts houses. 

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Time to wrap up how to go about courting in the holiest manner possible. Amanda tells Kyle the final steps to a godly pre-marriage relationship. Kyle is confused. We learn why Ruth is way more chaste and holy than other female Bible characters, Amanda's Bible college and seminary training pays off, and Kyle issues a complaint with the way IBLP uses the word "purpose." 

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