The Dad Manual

Edward Crawford spent his life training to be a warrior, in the Peace Corps, in Afghanistan, and at Goldman Sachs, and it turns out that same drive almost cost him the family he was fighting for. In this conversation for the first time dad podcast, Edward opens up about deploying six days after his son was born, the videos he recorded for his kids in case he didn't come home, and the moment he realized his hyper vigilance was helping him survive but hurting his marriage. He and Tony talk about raising a daughter with autism, taking daughters on dates, and why "nothing's changed, but I have" became the truest sentence of his life. This is one of those episodes that speaks directly to any family podcast listener wondering how to actually come home, not just physically, but emotionally.

Key takeaways:

• Giving kids responsibility for animals teaches empathy and care from a young age
• Edward's son's autism reshaped how he defines success and connection
• Deploying to Afghanistan six days after his son's birth changed how he saw fatherhood
• Coming home from war is often harder than the deployment itself
• Hyper vigilance that once kept him alive worked against him at home
• A five day silent retreat helped Edward reconnect with his heart over his head
• His number one goal became simply "be a better husband to Mary Crawford"
• Kids writing "Best Dad Ever" on his truck redefined what success means to him

If you enjoyed The Dad Manual, leave us a rating on your podcast app! If you loved it, share this episode with a Dad! Send your questions to [email protected]. Connect with Tony Cooper: https://www.linkedin.com/in/thetonycooper/

00:00 Edward Crawford's introduction
00:53 Meet Tony and the dad manual mission
01:07 Edward introduces himself
02:12 Caroline, the singer at a conservatory
03:05 Edward's son and his autism journey
04:07 Meet Annabelle, the animal collector
05:18 Where all the animals came from
10:50 How autism reshaped Edward's mindset
14:57 Becoming a dad, the Haiti story
17:00 Mary's pregnancy reveal
19:16 Taking daughters on dates
19:45 Deploying six days after his son's birth
20:38 Recording videos in case he didn't return
23:10 Peace Corps years and hypervigilance roots
26:13 Coming home and reconnecting with Mary
31:23 Chasing achievement versus being present
33:00 Best dad ever, written in the mud
35:16 The jungle retreat and his new objective
38:39 Becoming a better husband to Mary Crawford
44:03 Advice for a brand new father

What if the goal of parenting isn't to make your kid grow up, but to help them stay a kid longer? Brandon Fong joins The Dad Manual to talk about raising his daughter Kaya with childlike curiosity, emotional honesty, and zero interest in bubble-wrapping her from the world. Tony and Brandon dig into masculine and feminine energy in parenting, why toddlers process feelings in about 90 seconds if you let them, the story behind a very memorable ER visit, and how AI might make being simply human the most valuable skill of all. It's a warm, funny, unexpectedly deep conversation about staying playful while raising a person.

If you enjoyed The Dad Manual, leave us a rating on your podcast app! If you loved it, share this episode with a Dad! Send your questions to [email protected]. Connect with Tony Cooper: https://www.linkedin.com/in/thetonycooper/

00:00 The slide, the ER, dad wisdom
00:39 Meet Brandon Fong
01:24 Reclaiming childhood as an adult
02:22 What sparked childlike curiosity
04:37 Naming things kills their magic
07:00 Learning Kaya's perspective
09:03 The "other mother" past life talk
11:01 What Kaya is like as a kid
12:56 Always wanting to be a dad
14:04 Masculine and feminine parenting energy
17:06 Dad's playful Coke-bag toys
20:36 How intentional Leah and Brandon were
23:00 The most surprising part of fatherhood
26:04 Letting kids get hurt to grow
33:52 Working through reactivity as a dad
36:36 The 90 second feeling rule
41:06 Raising a kid in the AI era
49:03 Kaya's core essence described
51:14 Advice for a brand new dad

Can a chatbot help you become a more present dad? Lior Weinstein returns to The Dad Manual to dig into where AI actually helps fatherhood, and where it quietly gets in the way. Tony and Lior talk through using AI as a bedtime story ghostwriter, the idea of "artificial intimacy," why harmony beats balance, and how Lior uses AI to process emotional moments with his kids without losing his own voice in the process. They also get into generational trauma, cultural identity, and small first steps any dad can take today. Key takeaways include using AI to enhance existing family moments rather than replace them, the importance of intention before you open the app, and why context (not cleverness) is what makes AI actually useful at home.

If you enjoyed The Dad Manual, leave us a rating on your podcast app! If you loved it, share this episode with a Dad! Send your questions to [email protected]. Connect with Tony Cooper: https://www.linkedin.com/in/thetonycooper/

00:00 Cold open: the tantrum book analogy
00:29 Welcoming back Lior Weinstein
01:12 Picking up the AI conversation
02:07 How ChatGPT became a bedtime tool
04:23 Making life better, not just tasks
05:14 The idea of artificial intimacy
07:30 Who owns AI generated output
08:30 Claude as a writing partner
10:47 Delivery makes a story personal
13:18 Shared experiences and bonding
14:53 Adding "magical" changes everything
17:19 Getting more done to be present
19:26 Living your purpose vs work
21:03 Kids don't experience it as passion
23:10 Harmony over balance explained
26:04 Breaking generational trauma with AI
29:02 AI as a gateway to asking for help
30:21 ChatGPT as a travel guide in Japan
33:58 Prompting Claude "as if it has ADHD"
36:16 Jewish identity and collective trauma
39:16 Passover, language, and shared meaning
44:25 Where a dad should start with AI

Tony Cooper sits down with Chris Lee, a coach, trainer, and speaker who has spent his career helping people break the beliefs that quietly run their lives, to talk about where generational trauma actually starts and how dads can be the ones who finally stop it. They dig into what happens the moment your kid pushes a button: why the reaction fires before you can think, and why the fix isn't suppressing it but learning to create a space between what happens and how you respond.

Chris breaks down his idea of "response-ability," the two fears every child is actually born with (falling and loud noises), and how every other fear in your life got handed to you by someone else's playbook. The conversation also covers why kids process emotion so honestly compared to adults, how the way a dad treats a mom shapes a child's emotional environment long before the child can remember it, and a practical tool for couples: building a family vision with non-negotiables that protect the home you're creating.

This is a conversation about interrupting the pattern early, doing the work before the damage gets passed down, and choosing who you want to be instead of defaulting to who you were taught to be. If you enjoyed The Dad Manual, please like and subscribe. If you loved it, share this episode with a Dad! Send your questions to [email protected].

00:00 Cold open: hot heads, clarity
00:29 Meet Chris Lee, godfather
02:03 What being a godfather means
05:13 What is emotional intelligence?
07:26 Responsibility as response-ability
08:49 The Will Smith Oscars example
11:43 The power of a deep breath
16:28 Where trauma actually comes from
17:07 The two fears we're born with
21:31 Why we forget our own divinity
24:33 Pretending vs. choosing confidence
27:33 The subliminal resentment of a baby
30:14 Why kids process emotion honestly
34:18 Feeling inadequate as a new dad
36:14 How treating mom affects the child
38:06 Building a family vision
40:40 Becoming your parents unconsciously
45:15 Choosing kind over being right
46:56 Chris on earning his own worth
50:59 Advice for a brand new dad

A CEO and father of two opens up about why raising kids became his real education in emotional intelligence. Topher Stephenson had his children while in medical school and residency, and looks back on how becoming a dad reshaped how he sees himself and everyone around him. 

Key takeaways: 

• Emotional intelligence starts with realizing you're not the center of the universe
• Kids reveal how far your own emotional maturity has (or hasn't) come
• Empathy means letting someone else's experience be real without needing to agree with it
• Boarding school and letting go are their own kind of parenting lesson
• The skills that make you a better father also make you a better leader
• Topher also shares the one piece of advice he wishes someone had given him as a brand new dad

If you enjoyed The Dad Manual, leave us a rating on your podcast app! If you loved it, share this episode with a Dad! 
Send your questions to [email protected]. 
Connect with Tony Cooper: https://www.linkedin.com/in/thetonycooper/

00:00 Cold open
00:29 Meet Topher Stephenson
01:24 Larkin and Finn, his two kids
03:34 Having kids in med school
05:13 What fatherhood taught him
07:15 Reparenting yourself as a dad
09:21 Defining emotional intelligence
13:10 Growing up in a stoic household
16:02 The LifeSpring retreat story
20:44 Empathy and holding two views
23:43 Why fatherhood shifts your focus
26:04 Nature vs nurture in his kids
28:28 Boarding school as a family choice
33:23 The bittersweet of kids leaving home
36:16 From dad to CEO
39:57 Advice for a brand new father
43:01 Being a father, the best role

A first-time dad six weeks from his due date opens up about what the third trimester really feels like. Tony Cooper sits down with Jesse Ganes to talk through the physical and emotional shifts of late pregnancy, the conversations he's having with friends and family about how life is about to change, and the parenting choices he and his wife Emma are making before their son even arrives. They cover screen time boundaries, the science behind a changing "dad brain," sleep deprivation, division of labor in parenting, and why protecting couple time now matters so much.

Key Takeaways

• Screen time boundaries are a conversation worth having before the baby arrives, not after
• Pregnancy changes what a couple can physically do together, and renegotiating that takes patience
• A father's brain physically changes to respond differently to a baby's cry, according to research Jesse's been reading
• Telling friends without kids that the relationship will change, but won't end, sets healthier expectations
• Community and local parent networks (including a "semi active" dad group) become a real resource
• Sleep deprivation is often less about the sleep loss itself and more about the judgment attached to it
• Protecting couple time during pregnancy builds the foundation for the family that's coming

If you enjoyed The Dad Manual, leave us a rating on your podcast app! If you loved it, share this episode with a Dad! 

Send your questions to [email protected].
Connect with Tony Cooper: https://www.linkedin.com/in/thetonycooper/

00:00 Cold open
00:29 Meet Jesse Ganes
01:17 Six weeks from the due date
02:10 What feels real right now
03:04 Talking about screen time early
05:16 Two becomes three
06:08 What pregnancy changed physically
09:49 Trusting your body through pregnancy
11:06 Hormones and a happy pregnancy
13:45 Getting his head around the change
15:01 Talking to friends without kids
17:42 Parenting in Brooklyn
19:20 Finding the dad group
20:38 The "Dad Brain" book
22:41 Re-parenting yourself
26:13 Learning not to lose it over messes
28:15 Surviving on no sleep
30:23 What's new this generation
32:00 Filtering baby gear from noise
33:31 Advice for a couple just starting out
36:26 Closing thoughts

A dying father's five words rewired his son's entire life, and now that son is rewiring hundreds of other dads. In this conversation, George Rivera opens up about the deathbed warning from his own father, the "founder prison" he built for himself in business, and why he now runs Founder Dad Dinners for cash-rich, time-poor entrepreneurs who are quietly falling apart at home. We talk about the freedom audit that got his life back, why presence matters more than proximity, and how his 11-year-old son Leo's own podcast became an unexpected extension of everything George learned the hard way. Key takeaways include: the danger of "I'll make it up to them later," the 10k-per-hour filter for reclaiming your time, why phones at the ballgame do more damage than not showing up at all, and the simple truth that you only get 18 summers. 

If you enjoyed The Dad Manual, leave us a rating on your podcast app! If you loved it, share this episode with a Dad! Send your questions to [email protected]. Connect with Tony Cooper: https://www.linkedin.com/in/thetonycooper/

00:00 Cold open: the lie that kept him stuck
00:29 Meet George Rivera
01:19 The sentence his dying dad said
02:52 Growing up without dad in the stands
03:36 Leo asks Tony to coach Little League
05:34 Hearing his dad's regret in real time
07:53 Building the "founder prison"
09:21 The breaking point with his business
11:04 The coach who talked him off the ledge
11:45 The freedom audit and 10k/hr filter
13:53 Presence versus proximity
15:17 Why he built Founder Dad Dinners
17:00 Breaking generational trauma
19:06 How the dinners actually work
20:52 Nine-figure exits, zero friends
22:27 "I'll go to war for you"
24:23 Cats in the Cradle moment
25:39 Timeline from awakening to change
26:28 Leo's own podcast
30:08 How Leo's first episode happened
33:28 Skills kids lose to devices
35:20 Advice for a brand-new dad
37:11 Closing thoughts

What if the best gift you gave your kids wasn't a memory, but your own voice? Blake Fly, dad to Koa and Summer (with a third on the way), joins Tony Cooper to talk about Dads Making History, the group he started where fathers record monthly audio and video messages for their kids to hear someday. Blake shares how the practice began during the pandemic, why "donut dates" became a normalizing ritual for the group, how a lost hard drive taught him about the fragility of memory, and how becoming a dad expanded his emotional range in ways he never expected. Tony and Blake dig into presence, legacy, and what it means to really show up for your kids.

• The "Forever Folder" is a monthly audio or video message dads record for their kids, meant to be a presencing practice for the dad as much as a gift for the child.
• Less is more: a good message is often just two to three minutes, a small, specific moment rather than a sweeping life lesson.
• Small rituals normalize across a community fast. One dad's "donut date" habit inspired another dad to start his own recurring one-on-one time with his daughter.
• One-on-one time with a kid (a donut date, coaching a sport, a standing weekly outing) gives a spouse real relief and builds a distinct bond.
• Becoming a parent can expand emotional range far beyond what a "sunshine only" upbringing prepared someone for, including grief, like a miscarriage before a first child.
• Presence is the real antidote to time passing unnoticed. Capturing a moment, even a mundane one like potty training, makes it retrievable later.
• What we intentionally leave behind (and take forward) from our own parents shapes how we father, whether that's constant positivity, a short temper, or building things with your hands.
• A voice message might never be listened to, and that's okay. The value is in the ritual of recording it, not guaranteed impact on the recipient.

If you enjoyed The Dad Manual, leave us a rating on your podcast app! If you loved it, share this episode with a Dad! Send your questions to [email protected]. Connect with Tony Cooper: https://www.linkedin.com/in/thetonycooper

00:00 Cold open
00:29 Meet Blake Fly
01:23 Blake's speaking and coaching work
03:00 Becoming a dad in 2020
04:00 What is the Forever Folder
05:00 Choosing what to record each month
07:54 Dads Making History group
08:05 The donut date ripple effect
10:19 One-on-one time and giving mom a break
12:00 Being the youngest of three
14:04 Foresight that everything is temporary
16:04 A voicemail from aging parents
17:13 Documenting firsts, lasts, and the messy middle
18:23 Counting laps, counting years
21:09 Losing four years of photos and video
23:11 Is this really for the kids or for you
25:00 The realization that changed his approach
27:14 How coaching shapes his fathering
29:17 A grade 8 yearbook prediction
30:52 His mom's signs and rituals
34:01 What he's leaving behind from his parents
37:12 Becoming a dad kicked his ass
38:00 The miscarriage before Koa
40:09 Expanding emotional range
42:22 Preparing for baby number three
44:01 Closing thoughts

A dad of three shares the wild story of a highway birth, the exhaustion of new fatherhood, and why breaking generational patterns starts with you. Tony Cooper sits down with Lior Weinstein to talk about becoming a father at 30, supporting a wife through three very different births, and the physical toll of parenting a newborn while running a business. Lior explains why he stepped away from a fast-growing startup to be present for his second child, how he's working to end inherited family trauma before it reaches his kids, and why depth of focus beats exposure to everything. He also shares how he uses AI to write bedtime stories with his sons. Key takeaways include: the difference between reacting to a schedule and creating one, why physical exhaustion hits harder with each additional kid, how commitment to one passion builds a transferable skill, and why an abundance mindset starts with saying yes.

• Physical exhaustion from parenting compounds with each additional kid, even when you've "done it before."
• Supporting your wife through the newborn stage often matters more than mastering baby care yourself.
• Stepping away from work, even temporarily, can be the right call when presence matters most.
• Breaking generational patterns starts with noticing what was passed down to you.
• Building trust with your kids matters more than being their expert in every interest.
• Depth in one passion teaches a transferable skill: mastery, focus, and commitment.
• An abundance mindset starts with saying yes to your kids' curiosity, even if it doesn't stick.
• AI can be a tool for deeper connection, like personalized bedtime stories, not just efficiency.

If you enjoyed The Dad Manual, leave us a rating on your podcast app! If you loved it, share this episode with a Dad! Send your questions to [email protected]. Connect with Tony Cooper: https://www.linkedin.com/in/thetonycooper/

00:00 Being a dad is hard because you care
00:29 Meet Lior and his three kids
01:25 Becoming a dad at 30
02:11 Matan's highway birth story
06:19 Nature vs nurture with three kids
09:52 Always knowing he'd be a dad
11:33 Supporting his wife through labor
14:02 Teaching infants from day one
16:06 Becoming a different kind of husband
19:18 Learning from mom's instincts
21:04 Going from one kid to two
23:04 Physical exhaustion hits harder
26:19 Deciding to leave the startup
27:15 Nine months traveling in an RV
29:44 Stopping generational family trauma
32:25 Building a relationship of trust
33:23 The chess grandmaster book
36:05 Why depth beats width
39:41 Using AI for bedtime stories

A former New York City Ballet principal dancer opens up about the fear underneath the joy of expecting his first child. Chase Finlay talks with Tony Cooper about the perfectionism that carried him from a childhood ballet studio to the world's biggest stages, and why that same drive could work against him as a father. They cover the difference between performing for approval and living in alignment, why presence stops time with your kids, and how recovery and honest relationships taught him to become his own cavalry instead of waiting to be rescued. Chase also shares his intentions for his baby shower, his hopes to raise a daughter free to imagine, and the advice he's giving himself for the first months of fatherhood.

Key Takeaways

• Perfectionism can build a career and also work against you as a father if left unchecked
• The external pursuit of validation can be fulfilling, but internal alignment creates lasting fulfillment
• Recovery and a healthy relationship helped reframe self-reliance: "I'm the cavalry"
• Presence is the antidote to feeling like time with your kids moves too fast
• Play is a child's domain, and imagination is worth protecting from screens and self-consciousness
• Doing your own personal work before becoming a parent is a gift you give your children
• A baby shower can be a celebration of the work both partners did on themselves, not just the baby
• Being a firm, present, aware foundation for your partner matters as much as showing up physically

If you enjoyed The Dad Manual, leave us a rating on your podcast app! If you loved it, share this episode with a Dad! Send your questions to [email protected]. Connect with Tony Cooper: https://www.linkedin.com/in/thetonycooper/

00:00 Cold open
00:29 Meet Chase Finlay
01:19 30 weeks into pregnancy
01:35 Abundance and joy in pregnancy
02:30 Fear of not being good enough
03:24 Wanting everything to be perfect
04:11 The evidence he'll be a great dad
05:03 Chase's ballet career begins
06:41 Principal dancer by 19
07:32 External pursuit vs internal journey
09:07 How he discovered dance
11:40 Athletic and artistic, not fitting a box
13:18 Tony's son finds DJing
15:23 Watching your kid arrive at themselves
17:24 Being flexible, not predicting the future
18:13 Perfectionism: great for dance, risky for dad
19:31 Living aligned with authenticity
20:29 The shift from performing to real recovery
21:14 Becoming his own cavalry
22:19 Substance abuse and hitting bottom
23:00 His wife calling him on his bullshit
24:20 Alignment resolves inner conflict
26:11 Doing the work before kids arrive
27:27 His vision: presence as his top value
29:28 Be what you want your kid to become
30:07 Presence stops time
32:30 Wanting to rebuild play and imagination
34:22 What joy means to him now
36:16 Planning the baby shower
39:11 Celebrating the work, not just the baby
40:08 Advice to himself for the first months
41:13 Closing thoughts