The Daily Evolver

Today Jeff and Corey take a look at the Olympics – anthropologically. They address:

Is America’s rate of gun violence, which multiplies that of other developed countries, an immutable part of our character and culture? How do we respond to the steady news of mass shootings and the senseless killing of innocent people? And how about the perpetrators: are they mentally ill or just plain evil? Today Jeff and Corey consider the shooting at the high school in Parkland, Florida, and what integral thinking can reveal about this tragedy.

Today, in honor of Valentine’s Day, Jeff talks with Dr. Tom Habib about the affairs of the heart. An integrally-inspired clinical psychologist specializing in couples therapy, Tom has mapped what he calls the “couple’s line of development,” which describes the predictable stages of growth that a couple can grow through — and where they may get stalled.

The adventure of love generally starts with sexual chemistry and illusions of safety, an intoxicating stage that some people replay through multiple partners. At the next stage a more committed couple seeks to build a life together by assuming roles such as mother/father or provider/supporter. If they are able grow into the third stage, it will be into some form of relational partnership based on a flexible roles and mutual respect.

Tom calls the fourth stage “first love” which is new territory for most couples. “First love” corresponds with integral development and is created by an active appreciation of one’s partner as well as the intentional development of a we-space in which more aspects of each person is mutually embraced.

Tom’s vision is both beautiful and instructive in helping us to grow in mutuality with our intimate partners.

Tom Habib joins us from his home in San Juan Capistrano, California. You can find more of his work at drtomhabib.com.

Today Jeff and Corey respond to listener feedback, focused on how we evolve (both as individuals and as cultures) by “transcending and including” our previous stages of development. But, practically speaking, how do we know what to include and what to transcend?

Kristina from Idaho writes: “I’m asking myself how to discern what cannot or should not be included in the movement toward an integral perspective. Can you give any kind of guideline or perhaps qualities of previous levels that should NOT be brought forward?”

Durwin from Canada provides a good explanation using the example of traditionalism (Amber Altitude): “We need to affirm the healthy expression of amber/traditionalism collectively, while personally, the goal is to heal any remaining amber sub-personalities, so that we can experience the “mini-transformation” that comes from no longer having any of our subjectivity stuck there.”

And, Mimi K. writes: “Red, amber. orange, green and integral seem to be all alive and well on this planet. Earlier stages used to last for millennia before a new one emerged. How can we keep red, amber orange and green from destroying each other before Integral can embrace and contain them?”

Being conscious of our own development allows us to deliberately participate in it. Here are some insights to help guide the way.

Today we share Jeff’s guest appearance on the episode We can’t evolve without these traditional values from Steve Harper‘s “What’s Your Theory?“ webcast. Steve and Jeff explore the interior qualities of traditionalism (amber altitude), and how to recognize, respect and nurture their power in one’s self and others. The conversation is organized around three touchstones:

This podcast is a companion piece with the episode, “The Beauty (and Baggage) of Traditionalism,” where Jeff provides a more theoretical context for the amber altitude of development.

Stephen T. Harper is the host of the “What’s Your Theory” podcast, where he and Jeff have a regular series of “Integral Chats.” Steve is also the author of the Kings X Saga, a series of novels blending contemporary fantasy and world history.