It can be difficult to navigate your way in this evil world, even with the best of intentions. If you have less than the best of intentions or if you are an idiot, you will be eaten alive. In our first story, an innocent child of the tender age of 15 has been found after having gone missing. Upon failing to arrange hookups for sex with multiple older men she set off on her own to find herself. The three dudes who never actually went through with meeting her have been labeled as pedophiles and are now sitting in jail on a litany of sex offender charges. Pro tip: Don’t try to chat with females on a Discord server, nothing good can come of it.

Masochism manifests at various levels of intensity. For those who are intelligent enough not to try to find someone on a Discord server, there are those who will try to meet someone via an app such as Tinder. This is nothing more than a humiliation ritual. Because women have the highest standards and only want the highest quality of men to help alleviate them from the burden of single motherhood, Tinder has added a “height filter” because you know, a woman with high standards wouldn’t want some short dude paying their bills and raising their illegitimate children.