By Katie Phillips
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The podcast currently has 83 episodes available.
Today I want to help you to get what you want for the year ahead. An entire month has already passed us by....so let's make the next eleven really count!
Self-Love invites you to be honest about what you desire and to allow yourself to receive it. If you do not love yourself enough to go for your heart’s highest hopes, then life feels soul destroying because you are ignoring the whispers of your Sprit.
You must learn how to go after what you want, and that is a huge part of the transformational coaching work I am doing with women. You must love yourself enough to overcome all fear, self doubt and self criticism so that you may enjoy living a life that you are crazy proud of.
I recorded a 30 minute training on this topic today and thought you might like to check it out.
In the training I share a 7-step process to calling in your desires and share specific, tangible ways I have used this process with huge success.
A 7 STEP PROCESS TO CALLING IN YOUR DESIRES
This is what was covered on the free training (plus lots more!) ....
1. Declare your desire - write it in your journal and consider sharing it with people that support you
2. Tune in to how you will feel when you have received that desire - that’s the feeling you must create for yourself every day
3. With that feeling in mind answer these questions :
1. How would you behave?
2. What would you spend time on?
3. Who would you spend time with?
4. How would you spend your money?
5. What decisions would you make?
4. Make a note of what resistance or negative beliefs or uncomfortable feelings that come up for you when you answer the questions above - that’s the work, that is what needs to be healed and transformed
5. Commit to transformational living - do the daily work of moving from fear to love, healing the self sabotaging beliefs and behaviours you identified above (I can help with that!)
6. Surrender - release attachment to getting the desire. Your desire is looking for you too so you can relax and allow it to come
7. Keep the faith - trust that life is designed to support you
All sorts of juicy nuggets of wisdom were shared in yesterday’s Live Teaching around the above so please do check it out. It’s only 30 minutes and it will set you up for real, tangible success in calling in your 2019 desires.
Love you.
Katie xx
Founder of The School of Self Love
Please join me for a gentle conversation on what self-love is and how you can get more out of your year by applying it.
A live teaching from the Founder of 'The School of Self Love' and author of 'The Self Love Affair' on why we don't trust ourselves and how to start trusting yourself.
> WHY WE DON’T TRUST
From a young age we give meaning to our experiences and largely we make a decision whether something or someone makes us feel safe because our primal instinct is to survive. That decision then guides our life as we navigate people and opportunities that come our way. That one decision made at a tender young age can have us miss out on incredible life experiences and relationships because we made a decision years ago that it would be unsafe or risky to go there.
For example, if we say what we really think and someone criticises us or shames us or laughs at us, that doesn’t feel good. So, it would be easy to make that mean that it’s not safe to speak our truth. And so we don’t trust ourselves to say what we really think because that feels dangerous and unsafe in some way. Over time we forget how to speak up. We are not allowing ourselves to build evidence to the contrary – that actually it is safe to speak your truth. That often when you do you can positively affect someone else’s life or inspire them or help them. Your voice can create a ripple effect or even a tidal wave of positive change. But you decided it’s not safe all those years ago and so you have not trusted your voice and missed out on so much. So has the world because your voice really does matter. That said, in some parts of the world and in some environments it is almost fact that it’s not safe to speak your truth – I get it. And yet, throughout history there are examples of people speaking up even when their life was in actual danger and they did it because despite the external danger, they trusted their message was true and important enough to risk everything for the sake of a bigger cause. The Suffragettes and Nelson Mandela immediately spring to my mind.
I remember when I was about 8 I wasn’t doing well at maths. I had a mean teacher who would single me out and make me stand up in front of the class and say my times table out loud and I couldn’t. I felt terrible shame and humiliation. I made it mean that it was painful and scary to stand up and speak in front of a group. It took me years and years to come out of my shell and be able to speak in front of an audience with confidence.
I remember I was in a dance group at school when I was about 11. A few of us gathered together to practice in the dance studio at lunch time. At one point I was in there alone and I started to freestyle dance and I felt amazing. Totally free, uninhibited and alive. I just went for it. And then I heard giggling. Some girls were spying on me from a window and I had no idea. I felt deep shame and embarrassment From that moment onwards I made the decision that it wasn’t safe to express myself physically. For years and years I was self conscious in my body. As I grew into my teen years, I was nervous on a dance floor – uptight and rigid. It was horrible. In the last 10 years I have started to loosen up. I am far more free and I love to express my body and feel safe in it.
I spent most of my life not trusting men. When I was about 7 my Dad left us for about 6 months. He went to live with another woman. Witnessing my Mum’s devastation and feeling responsible for her and my little sister had me make it mean that men cannot be trusted to stick around – that they will let you down and hurt you. That belief affected all of my relationships with men going forward. It even affected my relationships with women because I had experienced what I perceived to be another woman taking my Dad away from our family. I made that mean that women hurt other women because that woman hurt my Mum so deeply. Building trust with men was a long piece of work for me. I healed in stages and layers and then I met my man and married him last year. I have never trusted a man so deeply and it’s a profound experience to be able to. Day by day my marriage builds evidence for me that men CAN be trusted. And, my personal work right now is to strengthen my trust with women. It’s a work in progress and I have come a looooong long way with the evidence being a handful of deeply soulful, beautiful friendships with women and deeply trusting, honouring and inspirational relationships with my female coaching clients.
When my Mum committed suicide I was 22 and I made that mean that I wasn’t worth sticking around for. Through various other childhood experiences I decided I wasn’t enough and Mum’s death kind of cemented that as actual bonafide fact. I was not enough. I was not loveable. I also made it mean that life cannot be trusted. I felt incredibly unsafe and vulnerable in the world. I doubted there could be a God or a benevolent energy that was taking care of us – how could there be if Mum could be allowed to kill herself? And so my healing and transformation particularly within the last 10 years has been to come to a place of deep knowing that I am enough and that life is designed to support us. I know both of those things now to be true because I have built SO much evidence to prove it. That journey started with a willingness to believe it to be true and I healed my emotional scars and re-wired my beliefs with help from experts who do the kind of work I have gone on to do with my clients. We teach what we need to learn!
So that’s just four examples of experiences in my early years where I made something mean that I couldn’t trust myself or others. I wonder what you experienced at a young age that has affected your life up until now? And I wonder if you are ready to learn another way of doing life whereby you can start to build evidence that you CAN trust yourself and others and life.
> HOW TO TRUST
So, how do you learn how to trust yourself?
It’s about really really knowing yourself. It’s about making your relationship with you an absolute priority.
Regardless of real or perceived danger, when you really know yourself and what you think and feel you can for example make decisions about whether to speak or engage in a relationship on any level from a place of self honouring.
If your truth is to speak a message that can shift the consciousness of humanity the likelihood that you will be met with very real physical threat is probably quite high. At the very least, the verbal threat is almost guaranteed. When you really deeply know yourself, you know what your purpose is here in this lifetime and if that is to instigate or be a part of a wave of change, then you just know in your gut that you have no choice but to speak out loud.
The risk to speak is less than the risk to stay quiet because dumbing down is soul destroying when you know who you are.
You are here to be fully expressed and the route to that is self trust and that requires you to commit to having a relationship with yourself that is the most intimate relationship you have ever known. A relationship with a rock solid foundation gives you strength and courage. From that place anything is possible and you are able to heal any childhood experiences where you felt it wasn’t safe to trust another person or to speak your truth or dance your unique way!
> WHERE DO YOU BEGIN
Getting to know yourself is a journey and it starts with a willingness and commitment.
With regard to the practical steps, I take you through a step-by-step process in my book – ‘The Self-Love Affair – A Woman’s Guide To A Daring & Mighty Life’ (also relevant to men!). The book is available to purchase online either at Amazon UK, Amazon USA, Barnes & Noble or via our shop at The School of Self Love.
If you have been following the ‘Self Love Affair’ teachings for the past 19 weeks….I just want to say, I am SO proud of you!
We have journeyed deep to discover the Truth of who you are. This isn’t a journey for the faint of heart. It takes a brave warrior determined to say,“NO MORE!”to anything that no longer serves her.
As a woman who has chosen to be masterful in all areas of her life, to love all parts of herself and honour her deepest desires, you are now a shining light that will inspire others to follow your lead.
Your personal transformation will have a far reaching impact on the rest of the world. THANK-YOU for doing that. The world needs it!
This new way of doing life will take commitment, practice and persistence before it becomes second nature, and I encourage you be kind to yourself as you learn to walk again – this time in your truth, your power and with love.
So, as the final note in this series, here are some tips to support you going forward:
1. STAY SUPPORTED
As a warrior of self-love, I urge you to keep exploring. I’m not a one-stop-shop – there are others out there with different perspectives, ideas and experiences. Indulge in your transformation and enjoy proving the truth that you are loving, loved and loveable!
I’d encourage you to join groups of people who are passionate about being the best they can be. If you haven’t done so already, you may like to join my private Facebook Group – The Self-Love Hub– to experience the power of masterminding.
And, don’t forget that The School of Self Love has a variety of courses to support you – from home-study, to group coaching to private coaching support. CLICK HERE to see what’s on offer.
2. WRITE IT OUT!
Your journal is your new best friend. It’s important to talk to friends, but no one wants to be your journal! That’s exhausting.
I have three journals: a daily Gratitude journal, a Success and Miracles journal to witness and celebrate my growth, and an Expression, Clarity and Connection journal to dump my thoughts and express my feelings so I can hear the voice of my Spirit more clearly.
3. CULTIVATE A SPIRITUAL PRACTICE
A spiritual practice means simply spending time with you.
Like any relationship, your relationship with yourself requires time, attention and energy. If you value it, create time for it!
When you wake up each morning, ask yourself, “How can I love myself today?” Then listen for the answer. You might like to journal, meditate, take a walk, enjoy a candle-lit bath, paint… the possibilities are endless!
The last thing I want to leave you with, is this:
Self-love is self-responsibility.
It’s up to you to maintain and deepen your transformation. You know who you are, and it’s your time to shine.
The recording of my final Facebook Live training from this series is here for you to enjoy in your own time.
Trust yourself now and go and BE that woman you were put on this stunning planet to be.
Love you,
Katie xx
Founder of The School of Self Love
P.S.I am speaking with women who are serious about creating deep transformation in their lives. You may apply for a call with me to explore if Private Coaching is the right next move for you by clicking HERE.
Manifesting is in your nature – in fact, you’ve been doing it your whole life. All that’s needed now is to consciously choose what you’re manifesting.
We humans are energetic beings, vibrating at various frequencies. (If that sounds weird, I’d encourage you to read it from a place of Truth, instead of figuring it out with your mind).
When we feel sad or flat, our frequency is low. Fear and shame are the lowest vibrations. Our frequency is high when we are bright and bubbly. Love is the highest vibration. And, as I’m sure you know, like attracts like.
So the secret is to align yourself with the frequency of your desires.
Here we go!
STEP 1: RAISE YOUR VIBRATION
STEP 2: MANIFEST
STEP 3: DAYDREAM
Spend some time daydreaming about one thing you deeply desire. What does it feel like to already have it? For example, if you desire a new relationship, see yourself with the man and imagine what you would be doing and saying and feeling.
Go deeper into it. See it more clearly. And then go even DEEPER. (I love getting lost in daydreams when I’m in the steam room and it’s crazy how they start to become my reality!)
STEP 4: VISUALISE
This is similar to daydreaming. However, I encourage you to commit to a daily ritual of consciously intending your desires.
Write a snapshot of your vision first, so you have a clear image in your mind. Then really FEEL yourself there. Use your imagination to engage all your senses. By the end, you should be bouncing off the walls with excitement for what’s already yours!
STEP 5: MEDITATE
Meditation helps you connect with your source and experience the bliss of nothing. That stillness is a glimpse of the truth that you and the Universe are one. From this truth, you’ll be empowered to naturally manifest your desires. You know you are a creator.
I encourage you to choose a meditation style and technique that feels good for you, and do it as often as possible!
Darling, miracles are coming your way. All you need do is be available to receive your birthright!
I am SO excited for you!
Love you,
Katie xx
Founder of The School of Self Love
https://theschoolofself.loveP.S. I am speaking with women who are serious about creating deep transformation in their lives. To discover which of our coaching programmes would best suit you, CLICK HERE.
Everything you are meant for in this lifetime is guided by your desires.
Isn’t that wonderful?
Your desires are your Spirit telling you how to express yourself and enjoy this lifetime.
When you desire something from a place of truth, you can trust that you are MEANT to have or feel that thing.
As you set the intention to receive your desires (now you know you’re worthy of them!), source energy hears your calling and lines up all that’s required to bring it to you.
Sure, some effort and action is required, and we’ll look at that later, but for now, I encourage you to open your heart to the truth that your desires are the seeds of your purpose.
Do you feel worry or guilt around the concept of desiring something?
Us women are SO programmed to living in survival mode. Giving ourselves permission to have what we desire often feels indulgent, vain and ‘wrong’.
The truth is, denying yourself goes against your nature, which means the Universe is unable to support you. When you choose to thrive in all that you are and trust in the abundance of the Universe, you will be provided for.
So, what do you desire?
Remember a few weeks back, when you created your life vision? I want you to deepen that vision now, bringing in the values you defined last week. Be your MOST authentic Self and design a life that totally lights you up!
Look at all your life areas and journal around each one.
What do you desire? What have you been put on this planet to learn, be, do and have?
physical health / fitness
money / finance
relationships with family / friends / colleagues
relationship with partner
career / work
spirituality / religion
adventure
learning
contribution
feelings / emotions
Really dream BIG here!
Really hook into the feeling of having everything you could ever dream of. The energy of emotion is a powerful key to manifestation. Feel your dreams on every level – physically, emotionally, intellectually and spiritually.
When you KNOW your desires as if they have already happened, they are yours. You can’t help but attract them in!
Go for it!
In this week’s Facebook Live, I talk about how to differentiate between the desires of your True Self and the desires of your ego.
Love you,
Katie xx
Founder of The School of Self Love
https://theschoolofself.love
TO APPLY FOR A COMPLIMENTARY CALL WITH KATIE CLICK HERE: https://theschoolofself.love/complimentary-call
So, here’s my question for you today -
Do you feel guilty about the idea of loving yourself?
Like it’s a selfish, arrogant, egotistical thing to do?
Let’s bust those beliefs straight up!!
Loving yourself not only transforms your life, it has a ripple effect that benefits everyone you meet. The awesome truth is that you ARE love. What’s not to love about that?
Here’s how you can start loving the fabulous woman you are:
CELEBRATE
Look at all the amazing work you’ve done throughout the past few weeks as we have journeyed together through my Self Love Affair process (you can catch up on all the video trainings over in The Self Love Hub . You’ve been uncovering and healing negative patterns in your life – that’s powerful work! So, treat yourself to a celebratory dinner, a candle-lit bath, a massage, a new outfit – whatever would be special for you. Go on, you deserve it!
RECEIVE
As women, it is our nature to receive, but most of us spend our lives giving until we burn out. You need to make yourself available to RECEIVE your desires.
Write a list of all the things you do for others. Pretty long, huh?
What on this list could you do for YOURSELF? Where could you ask for help and support?
GATHER EVIDENCE!
Lady, you can be pretty mean to yourself! You’d never treat your best friend the way you treat yourself. It’s time to show yourself compassion and respect.
Write a list of 100 things you love about yourself.
If you need help, ask people you trust what they love about you. You can always refer to this ‘evidence list’ when you need reminding that you are loveable!
COMMIT TO LOVING YOUR BODY
Our wondrous bodies need to be cared for. Develop a friendship with your body and listen to what it needs.
In your journal, write at least 20 things you could do to nurture your body.
“I choose to love myself and care for my body by….”
Some tips:
COMMIT TO LOVING YOUR MIND
Our heads get so full of worries and to-do lists that we often forget the incredible power of the mind to guide our life anywhere we desire it to go.
In your journal, write at least 20 ways you could nurture your mind.
“I choose to love myself and care for my mind by….”
For example:
COMMIT TO LOVING YOUR INNER CHILD
You are the vulnerable little girl within you. It’s important to ask her how she is and what she needs. Do I need a hug? Do I need to talk to a friend? Do I need a day off work?
Write 20 things in your journal that you could do to nurture your child.
“I choose to love myself and show my inner child compassion by….”
You could:
COMMIT TO LOVING YOUR SPIRIT
When you have a relationship with your Spirit, you are able to relax and just be you. The criticism stops. You feel safe and at home. It’s wonderful!
Write at least 20 things you could do to stay connected with your Spirit.
“I choose to love myself and connect to my Spirit by….”
How about:
There’s lots more glorious stuff in this week’s Facebook Live.
Love you,
Katie xx
Founder of The School of Self Love
P.S. I am speaking with women who are serious about creating deep transformation in their lives. My group coaching programme – LIVE LOUDER – is about to start up again. We have run this programme several times with great success. If you would like to talk to me about whether it’s the right fit for you, please click below. Very limited spaces only available!
Transformational work can be challenging, and I want you to know one fundamental truth:
You don’t have to do it alone.
As a Spirit, you have a Spiritual Team supporting you on your mission, 24-7.
Does that sound weird?
Once upon a time, I thought so too! Choosing to jump onboard with my Spirit Team felt scary at first because it was so unknown to me. But once I did, it felt like the most natural thing in the world.
Here’s how I see it. I have the light of God holding me, a gang of Spirit Guides advising me and a group of Angels healing and protecting me. I can call on them whenever I need them. They are home to me.
My spiritual home is unique to me. What you feel comfortable with may be completely different. I’m not here to tell you what you should or shouldn’t be doing to explore your own spirituality.
My only suggestion is to not look outside yourself for your answers. They are within you. Your job is to find the tools that allow you to access your Truth.
God/ The Universe/ The Light
I use these terms interchangeably to name a non-physical, intelligent, creative, loving force that permeates all things.
To connect with the Light is like going home, and there are myriad spiritual practices to take you there. For me, meditating and visualising allows me to sit in the presence of my source and be my authentic self – completely unleashed, easy and free.
Spirit Guides
A Spirit Guide is a non-physical being selected by your Spirit to guide you to fulfil your purpose. They can take on many appearances, and you may have more than one Guide.
You can receive messages from them through your intuition, signs, dreams or people who come into your life and give you an answer you need.
If you would like to connect with your Spirit Guides, there is a fab guided visualisation on my album – ‘My Spirit. My Truth’. Just CLICK HERE to get it.
Angels
I know I have Angels supporting me and I regularly call on them to protect me. And they do! I’ve seem them cause miracles in my life countless times!
How do we communicate with our Angels? I love what Kyle Gray suggests. He trusts that what’s right for him will be delivered by his Angels. So instead of asking them for stuff, he thanks them.
Instead of asking for a sign that they are with you, you can say:
“Thank you, Angels, for reminding me of your presence.”
Or, instead of asking for help, you can say:
“Thank you, Angels, for supporting me.”
Then trust your gut. You’ll know what’s meant for you.
This is a deep topic, and I go into much more detail in this week’s Facebook Live. I am also joined by the angel expert, Anna Grace Taylor, who answered lots of questions about the Angels. I hope you enjoy our conversation!
Let me know any questions or comments you have over in The Self Love Hub on Facebook .
Love you,
Katie xx
Founder of The School of Self Love
P.S. I am speaking with women who are serious about creating deep transformation in their lives. My group coaching programme – LIVE LOUDER – is about to start up again. We have run this programme several times with great success. If you would like to talk to me about whether it’s the right fit for you, please click here. Very limited spaces only available!
In continuation of the weekly lessons I am sharing from my Self Love Affair Process, this week is about getting comfortable with the idea of loving yourself.
So far, you’ve been digging through the layers covering up your fabulous true self. So, do you Dare to love your Mighty self?
Or are you still wincing at the thought?
Loving yourself is about getting to know your Spirit – the real you – and it’s also about loving your inner child.
What inner child?!?
She is the energy of your childhood emotions. Ever noticed yourself throwing a tantrum, feeling needy or acting out for attention? That’s her!
Your inner child holds onto the negative beliefs that were formed as an infant, when you felt somehow that love is conditional. That belief gave rise to two fears:
I am not enough
I am too much
Which boil down to a basic fear:
I am not loveable
As an adult, my inner child is still sometimes desperate for love and approval from others. By paying her attention, I can heal old wounds and make her feel safe enough to express her joy and playfulness.
When we love and honour the child within us, our relationships are no longer about fulfilling that neediness. We stop looking for a parental figure to nurture us because we know how to nurture ourselves.
Ready to give it a go?
Your daily practice
As you go about your day today, consider that you’re an adult nurturing a child. Let her know that you will spend time listening to her and getting to know her. Set an alarm on your phone every couple of hours to check in with her.
When she is worried or frightened, comfort her. When she is raging or sad, write out these feelings. Finish with, “I have heard you and I understand. From now on I promise to listen to you. I love you and you are safe.”
As your relationship with that voice develops, she’ll start to feel safe and chilled out. Your role then is to encourage her and give her permission to laugh and skip and dance and tell silly jokes!
Love you,
Katie xx
Founder of The School of Self Love
P.S. I am speaking with women who are serious about creating deep transformation in their lives. My group coaching programme – LIVE LOUDER – is about to start up again. We have run this programme several times with great success. If you would like to talk to me about whether it’s the right fit for you, please click here. Very limited spaces only available!
In continuation of The Self Love Affair process, this week we’re getting on with the real work of healing all hurt, fear, injustice and wrongdoing from your past through forgiveness.
We don’t need to know HOW to forgive. The key is surrendering to that power inside us and trusting that it will show us the way.
If you don’t feel ready to forgive, remember that holding onto a grudge does more damage to you than anyone else. You’re the one who feels the pain, the anger, the disappointment – not the person who hurt you.
Are you willing to let go of all that?
All you need to do is set an intention to forgive.
Change your perception
“Forgiveness is a shift in perception that removes a block in me to my awareness of love’s presence.” – A Course in Miracles
Instead of seeing your hardships as injustices, are you willing to consider that they were actually opportunities to grow? Just look at how much you’ve changed from who you used to be! You could even think of those challenges as gifts. They led you here, to this transformational work you’re doing with me right now.
Trace it back to love
Are you willing to stretch your mind to believe that everything people do is an expression of love or a call for love? We’re just not very adept at showing it, and often end up hurting others without meaning to.
Having compassion towards someone’s behaviour is the first step to forgiveness.
Write a letter
Let’s start with forgiving your parents, carers and surrogates.
Choose an incident or pattern as the focus of your forgiveness. Write a letter to your Spirit asking for help to forgive your parents and surrogates.
Write out ALL the emotions connected with that experience. Even if they didn’t mean to hurt you, you’ve still experienced a lot of pain and that needs to be acknowledged and expressed.
See a different side
Now start to imagine what life was like for your parents, carers and surrogates when they were children. What tough stuff did they suffer? Ask your Spirit to help you witness the purity of their Spirits.
Whether your parents are alive or dead, you can ask to connect to their Spirits and offer peace, love and forgiveness. Ask that you also be forgiven if you played a role too.
When you’ve written all you need to express, end with: I forgive you and I set you free. I forgive us both and I set myself free.
Afterwards, burn the letter and know that you are FREE!
Doesn’t it feel wonderful?
If you would like additional help to forgive, there is a fab guided visualisation called ‘Forgiveness’ on my album – ‘My Spirit. My Truth’. Just CLICK HERE to get it.
In this video I go much deeper into the subject of forgiveness and take you through how to forgive yourself.
You’re doing a brave thing.
Love you,
Katie xx
Founder of The School of Self Love
P.S. I am speaking with women who are serious about creating deep transformation in their lives. My group coaching programme – LIVE LOUDER – is about to start up again. We have run this programme several times with great success. If you would like to talk to me about whether it’s the right fit for you, please click below. Very limited spaces only available!
The podcast currently has 83 episodes available.