
Sign up to save your podcasts
Or


Garth Heckman
The David Alliance
Do you want to be healed? Why this question?
Well Jesus sees the heart… we know why he asks because the man starts giving excuses…
RATHER THAN:Do you want to be healed - YES!!!
The mans problems went beyond physical - they were mindsets. His body was handicapped, but worse his mind was. His excuses we’re his real limitations.
WHEN FACED WITH A NEW REALITY/THE TRUTH IT PEOPLE HAVE THREE CHOICES WITH IN THIS NEW INFORMATION IN (COGNITIVE DISSONANCE)
bAccept the truth - Change
Distort the truth - Excuses
Deny the truth completely - so you do not have to change your whole identity (the pharisees)
Self Mastery What is it?
THIS IS THE WORLDS DEFINITION - AND THEY ARE NOT WRONG…
Self-Mastery focuses on internal control and external projection, emphasizing the discipline to align your actions, habits, and demeanor with your goals, even in private moments where no one is watching.
BIBLICALLY WHAT IS IT?
Jesus said I came to do only what my father has told me to do.
John 6:38: "For I came down from heaven, not to do my own will, but the will of him that sent me".
**THE ULTIMATE DISCIPLINE OR YOU COULD SAY DISCIPLESHIP IS DOING THE WILL OF THE FATHER AND NOT THE WILL OF THE FLESH.
No Excuses
Luke 14:18 (NIV): (Part of the Parable of the Great Banquet, illustrating guests making excuses) "But they all alike began to make excuses. The first said, 'I have just bought a field, and I must go and see it. Please excuse me.’"
Prov.22:13
The sluggard says, “There’s a lion outside! I’ll be killed in the public square!”
We are prone to excuses:
Prov. 23:7
New King James Version
For as he thinks in his heart, so is he. “Eat and drink!” he says to you, But his heart is not with you.
The original KJV says “as a man thinkers so is he”
**The story line behind this verse: A man invites you to dinner pretending to be generous… but in his heart he is watching every bit tallying up how much it will cost him.
HIS ACTIONS DO NOT REPRESENT HIS HEART.
*A Key to understanding people is this:
- Let me ask you a few questions:
**YOUR LAST RELATIONSHIP… WHAT DID YOU LEARN FROM IT?
***YOUR LAST JOB… WHAT DID YOU LEARN FROM IT?
***YOUR LAST SCHOOL… WHAT DID YOU LEARN FROM IT?
Here is what psychologist tell us: The longer it takes for someone to find themselves as the problem, the less self mastery they have.
When people immediately throw themselves under the bus- it shows great insight into who they really are.
The man gets healed, Jesus confronts his sin… and he runs to the pharisees…’its not my fault - its his fault!
Garth Heckman
The David Alliance
People Problems… today we are talking about the person who is your biggest problem.
If you could kick the person in the pants as hard as you could responsible for all your problems, you wouldn’t be able to sit for a week.
Jesus was never nice, but he was always kind.
We have been domesticated in our Xn walk.
Ex. For God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten son to be NICE to the world.
NO NO NO NO to die for the world.
John 5
Afterward Jesus returned to Jerusalem for one of the Jewish holy days. 2 Inside the city, near the Sheep Gate, was the pool of Bethesda, with five covered porches. 3 Crowds of sick people—blind, lame, or paralyzed—lay on the porches. 5 One of the men lying there had been sick for thirty-eight years. 6 When Jesus saw him and knew he had been ill for a long time, he asked him, “Would you like to get well?”
7 “I can’t, sir,” the sick man said, “for I have no one to put me into the pool when the water bubbles up. Someone else always gets there ahead of me.”
8 Jesus told him, “Stand up, pick up your mat, and walk!”
9 Instantly, the man was healed! He rolled up his sleeping mat and began walking! But this miracle happened on the Sabbath, 10 so the Jewish leaders objected. They said to the man who was cured, “You can’t work on the Sabbath! The law doesn’t allow you to carry that sleeping mat!”
11 But he replied, “The man who healed me told me, ‘Pick up your mat and walk.’”
12 “Who said such a thing as that?” they demanded.
13 The man didn’t know, for Jesus had disappeared into the crowd. 14 But afterward Jesus found him in the Temple and told him, “Now you are well; so stop sinning, or something even worse (GK same word: the evil spirit will return with 7 more and you will be worse) may happen to you.” 15 Then the man went and told the Jewish leaders that it was Jesus who had healed him.
**Many times when Jesus healed the sick he would say and your sins have been forgiven- acknowledging that they believed he was the Messiah and had received their healing because of it- but not his guy. He did not want to be healed, nor did he believe Jesus was the messiah.
**I might add the Pharisees did not hassle this man they went after Jesus - which was typically not the case. HOWEVER I believe that because the man did not receive Christ as the messiah the demons didn’t care about his healing and left him alone… the pharisees were obviously motivated by the demonic!
Garth Heckman
The David Alliance
### Key Strategies to Read the Room
Reading the room—picking up on the unspoken mood, energy, and dynamics in a social or professional setting—is a crucial social skill that enhances your interactions and builds confidence. Here are some practical, evidence-based strategies to develop this ability:
1. **Observe Nonverbal Cues Actively**
Start by scanning the group for subtle signals like facial expressions, body language, posture, eye contact, and personal space. For instance, crossed arms or averted gazes might indicate discomfort, while open postures suggest engagement. Practice this by pausing before speaking to "spy" on these cues and decode the underlying emotions.
2. **Listen Mindfully and Tune into Tone**
Pay close attention not just to words, but to vocal tone, pace, and volume—these often reveal true feelings more than content alone. Take time to listen without interrupting, and reflect on how the conversation flows to gauge the overall vibe.
3. **Regulate Your Own Emotions First**
Before assessing others, level out your internal state to avoid projecting anxiety or bias onto the room. A calm mindset allows clearer perception of group dynamics. Techniques like deep breathing can help you stay grounded.
4. **Consider the Broader Context and Group**
Factor in the setting, cultural nuances, and relationships among people—e.g., is it a high-stakes meeting or casual gathering? Attend to everyone, not just the loudest voices, to understand shifting alliances or undercurrents.
5. **Engage and Seek Feedback**
When unsure, ask open-ended questions to draw out responses and clarify the mood, like "What do you all think about this?" Afterward, debrief with trusted friends for honest input on your reads—this builds self-awareness over time.
Practice these in low-pressure situations to refine your intuition; over time, they'll make you more adaptable and connected in any crowd.
Garth Heckman
The David Alliance
Rush is going to go on tour again, with a keyboard player and with a new drummer Anika Nilles… only 7 cities named so far in the US…
But with that I once heard someone say the only thing harder to keep together than a marriage is a band…
You don’t get married for a Good Time, you get married for a long time.
You don’t get married to have kids, you get married to learn how not to be a kid, act like a kid, pout like a kid, complain like a kid,
You don’t raise kids, they raise you.
If there is one major flaw in todays world of love and marriage - and trust me you could name a few dozen… but after 41 years of counseling I would simply say the number one major flaw in marriages is that they did not understand the amount of hard work it would take to have a loving successful marriage. It does not come naturally, it does not just happen when you find the right person, it is hard no matter who you marry and every great relationship put in great amounts of painstaking hard work.
Painful communication, lots of compromise, more then you might ever guess as far as having to forgive again and again and again.
So again talking about how we model for our spouse what God models for us to make our relationships work.
## 4. **Forgiveness **
* *Christ:* 1 John 1:9 — He is faithful to forgive.
* *Marriage:* Colossians 3:13 — forgive as the Lord forgave you.
**Teaching Point:** Forgiveness is the oxygen of both relationships.
**Activity:** Share a time when forgiveness restored peace in your marriage.
#5 Grace
Grace is the oil to any good relationship. Grace says you made a mistake, but I knew you would when I married you and I still choose to love you and not hold it against you.
Christ died for our sins knowing we would still mess up and hurt him. But his loving kindness leads us to repentance.
Our love for our spouse when they least deserve it leads them to back into a loving relationship with us.
Have you ever hated your spouse back into your arms? Have you ever be grudged your spouse back into your arms? Have you ever punished your spouse back into your arms? HOW DID THAT WORK FOR YOU?
Gods ways are best not only between he and a sinful world, but also between me and a sinful spouse… oh and also for me a sinner as well.
Garth Heckman
The David Alliance
"We are each of us angels with only one wing, and we can only fly by embracing one another,” Luciano de Crescenzo,
I would add - we will only fly as high to God as possible by which we can fly together each with our own wing and arm in arm with the other person.
You don’t get married for a Good Time, you get married for a long time.
You don’t get married to have kids, you get married to learn how not to be a kid, act like a kid, pout like a kid, complain like a kid,
You don’t raise kids, they raise you.
For example, in a marriage, we seem to assume that just because two people get married they must love each other. In reality, people do not get married because of love but in order to learn how to love. To have love in a marriage requires that the couple have intimacy and to have intimacy the two people must psychologically and spiritually grow up and quit being children. Most couples getting married today are doing so while still in states of emotional dependency, which means the marriage is based on neurotic need and not love. To have love and intimacy in a marriage requires that both people first must become adults.
* The same principles that sustain our relationship with Jesus also sustain a thriving marriage.
---
## 1. **Covenant, Not Convenience**
* *Christ:* Luke 22:20 — sealed in His blood.
* *Marriage:* Malachi 2:14 — a covenant before God.
**Teaching Point:** Both require lifelong, unwavering faithfulness.
**Discussion:** What are practical ways we can treat marriage as a covenant instead of a contract?
---
## 2. **Sacrificial Love**
* *Christ:* Ephesians 5:25 — gave Himself up.
* *Marriage:* Philippians 2:3–4 — putting spouse’s needs first.
**Teaching Point:** Real love is costly and others-focused.
**Exercise:** Each spouse lists one practical sacrifice they can make this week for the other.
---
## 3. **Daily Connection**
* *Christ:* John 15:4 — abiding daily.
* *Marriage:* Requires intentional daily investment.
**Teaching Point:** Distance grows when we neglect connection.
**Reflection:** What “daily rhythms” can keep our relationship strong?
Garth Heckman
The David Alliance
I want to get back to a couple of things I shared in my last podcast in regards to making extra money… and then we will shift gears.
List a 100 things… in any area, but especially money. I have a list on my phone of ways to make extra money… when I think of an idea I write it down. I can’t act on all of them, but I keep a list for future options.
Smaller is better - big gym, small gym
Secondly I believe what Bill Johnson says “Lack does not illustrate humility. Blessing and riches managed according to Gods grace illustrate humility.”
Is it easier to sin if you are poor or if you are rich… I know people in both situations.. its the same. I have been in both situations - the struggles are the same. Dependence on God has nothing to do with how much you have or don’t have.
Someone asked me do you think God wants you rich?
Does God want you rich?
Does God want you to have a great sex life?
Garth Heckman
The David Alliance
I heard it again… I am broke and I need extra money… I don’t know what to do?
The Bible does not contain a specific book on "business" or "entrepreneurship" as modern concepts, but it offers numerous principles regarding work, wealth, diligence, and ethical conduct that are highly relevant to both.
Here are the key biblical principles applied to business and entrepreneurship:
1. Work and Diligence are Commended
The Bible encourages hard work and warns against laziness. This principle is fundamental to a successful venture.
Diligent hands: active, eager, willing to try anything…..
When I first got online and saw the possibilities I figure out something pretty quick. Not every youth pastor had my creative skill and writing lessons for youth. I was already a regular contributor/writer for YouthWorker Journal - So I would put together these really good power point lessons with great applications. Then I sold them online… and guess what - people bought them!
To pay my bills I have lots of skills and I will try anything.
I have taught guitar, drums, I am a personal trainer. But all these things fit within my calendar. I can’t take on another hourly, full time job - I am still and first a pastor. So Diligent hands seek what works best for each person.
Just today I hit up a woman who has a unique skill for other women- I can’t give to much away just yet. But she absolutely loved my idea and wants to come on board. We will typically work with about 25 women for one night a week and make a few thousand dollars. Diligence - try anything and if you fail - keep trying.
YESTERDAY SOMEONE ASKED… Hey you said a $1000 bucks a week… how could you do that with just Uber… well my thought (and I did not explain it fully- sorry) is between uber, teach a lesson, sell something a $1000 a week is easy.
Hey first and foremost - you better have a budget and stick to it! Or you will never have enough money!
2. Stewardship and Investment
The concept of stewardship is central, suggesting that everything a person possesses—time, talent, and treasure—ultimately belongs to God and should be managed wisely… here is an idea, managing our time also means charging for our time. Listen I have a ton of people that would call me a friend - many times they want me to teach or train them for free because I am a friend and on top of that a pastor. Here is one simple rule I let them in on all the time. I have to charge my friends because my enemies won’t do business with me. I say it in a fun loving way, but it gets the point across.
Garth Heckman
The David Alliance
I heard it again… I am broke and I need extra money… I don’t know what to do?
The Bible does not contain a specific book on "business" or "entrepreneurship" as modern concepts, but it offers numerous principles regarding work, wealth, diligence, and ethical conduct that are highly relevant to both.
Here are the key biblical principles applied to business and entrepreneurship:
1. Work and Diligence are Commended
The Bible encourages hard work and warns against laziness. This principle is fundamental to a successful venture.
Diligent hands: active, eager, willing to try anything…..
When I first got online and saw the possibilities I figure out something pretty quick. Not every youth pastor had my creative skill and writing lessons for youth. I was already a regular contributor/writer for YouthWorker Journal - So I would put together these really good power point lessons with great applications. Then I sold them online… and guess what - people bought them!
To pay my bills I have lots of skills and I will try anything.
I have taught guitar, drums, I am a personal trainer. But all these things fit within my calendar. I can’t take on another hourly, full time job - I am still and first a pastor. So Diligent hands seek what works best for each person.
Just today I hit up a woman who has a unique skill for other women- I can’t give to much away just yet. But she absolutely loved my idea and wants to come on board. We will typically work with about 25 women for one night a week and make a few thousand dollars. Diligence - try anything and if you fail - keep trying.
From the publisher's feed

1,876 Listeners

65,342 Listeners

31 Listeners

1,972 Listeners

888 Listeners