Ellie’s fame is on the rise, and she receives a potential new career opportunity. I am surprised to find myself doing a stand up gig in a sex club, which was a very weird experience indeed. This week’s games involve guessing vegetables, identifying birds, and more biscuit-based fun. Ellie has an encounter with another blind man. A trip to the barbers gets unexpectedly political and also sexual. I’ve got some gossip involving Jasper Carrott and Iron Maiden, and there’s another surprise song in the park.

(00:00:00) - The Intro Bit

(00:02:37) - Ellie’s Fifteen Seconds Of Fame

(00:09:43) - I Find Myself Performing In A Sex Club

(00:26:22) - Guess The Vegetable

(00:31:06) - Ellie’s Tram Drama

(00:33:33) - Brazen Barber Banter

(00:54:40) - Jasper Carrott, Iron Maiden, Le Creuset And Sonic The Hedgehog

(01:12:42) - Professional Window Doodler

Ellie sees an odd and intriguing tattoo. I experience a footwear farce. I get accidentally insulted by an enthusiastic audience member. Ellie has more shelf news. I attempt to create a dance hit by sampling the radio. My recent stand up gig takes a very unexpected turn. We hear once again from the Nottingham swingers, and one of our regulars, Olivia, is back, and she’s got thoughts and a challenge.

Warning: Contains Pelvic Thrusting.

Chapters:

(00:00:00) – The Bit where I Tell You what’s Coming Up

(00:01:42) - Footwear Farce, Tattoo Talk and More Shelf News

(00:16:15) - A Silly Song, a Wee Chat and a Walk

(00:22:50) - Weaponised Blind Kids

(00:26:58) - Home Taping Is Making Music

(00:30:47) - I Am Alan! Custodian of the Light!

(00:42:38) - Swingers Revisited and Olivia’s Challenge

(01:01:01) - Amazing Feet

 A comedy gig is derailed by a soap opera style scandal. My park walk this week takes an unexpected turn, as I come into contact with some errant drama students. I sing a song about a sexually frisky dog, and take you on a dramatic London adventure, involving a flirtatious train traveller and an incident at the National Portrait Gallery. Ellie celebrates International Women’s Day with some feminist-themed book recommendations. There’s another example of a technological regression masquerading as technological progression. I inadvertently insult a divorcee and confuse an audience with a non sequitur about apple crumble. Find out what Ellie’s been doing to cause her thighs to ache, and how I’ve been keeping Ellie’s mother up at night. Plus we revisit our feature Ellie skinner’s ON The Shelf, and play a variety of surprise games.

If you'd like to see the video of me being humped by a dog, you can find it here.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xnJWxV4gFxQ&t=17s

I get rather lost in a park, where I commentate on a tennis match and have a Whitney Houston-based encounter. We have stand-up clips from Bradford and Doncaster. We’re in London, listening in to conversations between sweary students and argumentative pensioners. There’s a new feature, Ellie Skinner’s On the Shelf, and the return of the catchily named Technological Regression Masquerading As Technological Progression. And yet another guide dog story.

CHAPTERS:

(00:00:00) - Innuendo, Electrodes, and George Ezra

(00:04:48) - In the Park, Talking to My Nipples

(00:26:28) - In Bradford With an Antisocial Woman

(00:35:22) - In London With Sweary Students and Argumentative Pensioners

(00:40:39) - In Doncaster With an Arrogant and Incompetent Comedian

(00:58:10) - Ellie Skinner’s On the Shelf

(01:03:25) - Technological Regression Masquerading as Technological Progression: I Wanna Take You to the Game Bar

(01:09:04) - The Guide Dog and the Plumber

We scientifically validate whether Ellie was happier on her wedding day or on her trip to Ramsay Street in our feature Neighbours or Nuptials. It’s the return of Cassette Roulette, where I make a rather shocking and harrowing find. Ellie teaches me a new activity in the bedroom and tells us about the time she was a stripper. I head to Bath, where I follow Nigel Farage. We go on another crime-solving walk and experience a near miss at the hands of some Hillsborough hoodlums. There’s another guide-dog story, and I get an unexpected house call.

CHAPTERS:

(00:00:00) - It’s Tosh Time!

(00:03:12) - Neighbours or Nuptials

(00:14:19) - Bizarre Bottle-Based Behaviour in Bath

(00:24:33) - Another Guide-Dog Story While Washing the Dishes

(00:30:50) - Ellie Was a Stripper and a Song About a Chicken

(00:37:00) - Please Forgive Me Daddy, I’ve Been a Bad Boy (00:54:42) - Cassette Roulette and Tangents About UK Garage, Dentists, and Bread Makers

(01:16:20) - Spicy Spells and Religious Rounds

We are approached by the daughter of a dictator in Spammer Time. Join me in the bath for an explosive experience, and I conduct an experiment involving cold water and Vera Lynn. I’ve been back on the dark web to unearth some lost musical treasures, and this time it’s an unheard gem from Guns N. Roses. We go for a walk to try and thwart a murder. There’s a couple of stories about guide dogs, and we read a few of your comments and listen to some rather weird phone messages.

CHAPTERS:

(00:00:00) - It Started With a Blow

(00:04:52) - Spammer Time: The Dictator’s Daughter

(00:10:15) - In the Bath With Guns N. Roses and Vera Lynn

(00:26:47) - Guide Dog Stories

(00:31:08) - Guns N. Roses: Welcome to the Bathtub

(00:36:33) - Shakespeare in the Kitchen

(00:47:34) - The Walking Detective

(01:01:06) - Tonsils, Teeth, and Tossing

My gig in Somerset takes an unexpected turn when a heckling pensioner becomes rather flirtatious. Ellie has a run-in with a call centre scammer and is assaulted by a roast dinner on the streets of Sheffield. New exciting features include the catchily named Technological Regression Masquerading As Technological Progression, and What’s That Biscuit. Plus, more 100% accurate celebrity impressions from Ellie.

CHAPTERS:

(00:00:00) - Food Farce, Flatulence, and Flirting

(00:16:38) - The Reek of Geek

(00:35:38) - Scammer Time

(00:39:10) - Technological Regression Masquerading as Technological Progression

(00:44:40) - Happy Hardcore Dishwashing

(00:49:52) - David Eagle: The Cartoon

(00:52:50) - Mogrosides and Matrimonial Musings

From the podcast that brought you the exclusive first plays from Gina G and Lou Bega, this week we hear an unreleased song from Little Richard as he pays homage to his hero, Spike Milligan.

We feature clips from The Young'uns live at Middlesbrough Town Hall and Winchester Cathedral. Join me for some meditation with a twist, play along with Ellie's Fame Game, and, to prove that we do listen to your feedback, we finally bring you into our bed.

(00:00:00) Jan 29 - Join Us In Bed

(00:11:58) Jan 30 - Meditation With A Humorous Twist

(00:15:09) Jan 31 - Enter The Mind Of Tutti Frutti Sue

(00:19:41) Feb 1 - Out Of The Bath And Into The Cathedral

(00:33:01) Feb 2 - Little Richard And Spike Milligan On The Dark Web

(00:35:55) Feb 3 - Strange Post-Gig Encounters

(00:40:47) Feb 4 - Ellie's Fame Game

 This week’s podcast features confusing conversations with computers. Henry II and Simon Cowell have a difference of opinion regarding the musical merits of farting. My idiosyncratic performance of Flight Of the Bumblebee gets a cold reception. And Ellie goes to Laos, where she meets with Dominic Monaghan who’s recovering from an altercation with a lizard, and becomes embroiled in a gambling scam.

Chapters

(00:00:00) Jan 22 - Two-take Wonder

(00:06:36) Jan 23 - King Henry II, Simon Cowell, And Farting

(00:19:46) Jan 24 - Exorcist Runner

(00:34:30) Jan 25 - Gaslit By A Computer

(00:52:40) Jan 26 - Bottle Banter

(00:59:04) Jan 27 - Kitchen Sink Drama

(01:07:52) Jan 28 - Ellie Becomes Embroiled In A Gambling Scam In Laos

 This week we share anecdotes about Louis van Gaal, Miles Jupp, Elis James, John Robins, Fern Brady and George Ezra. We join Bob Dylan in a youth hostel, and we receive an email from Lou Bega, with his brand new song. Plus Ellie tries to contact Joe Cocker, but to no avail, because he’s been dead for twelve years.

Chapters

(00:00:00) Jan 15 - ON A Plane With Louis van Gaal

(00:13:17) Jan 16 - Fern Brady Didn’t Look At My Crotch

(00:21:52) Jan 17 - IN A Youth Hostel With Bob Dylan

(00:28:40) Jan 18 - An Email From Lou Bega

(00:33:52) Jan 19 - I’ve Got a Hole IN My Hooter

(00:41:28) Jan 20 - What’s The Time Mr Eagle?

(00:48:14) Jan 21 - Ellie Tries To Contact Joe Cocker