The Decode Diary

We met on Tinder not for hookups or “benefits” but after getting to know her, listening to her breakup story gave me a sense of heartache. I sat down with Jennefer who opened up her past relationship where her boyfriend cheated on her. I think most people listening to this may or may not have experienced this and I would never hope for such an encounter for anyone, but there are values in it where we can learn along the way. 

For myself, I am trying to be honest with myself for how I live my life, and Jennefer opening up about the pain and the process of healing shows just how fragile relationships could be and it is worth every effort to maintain them if they mean something to us.

Also, on the fun side, she opens up her ideal partner criteria, red flags and what she hopes to find in her next relationship. The complexities and raw honesty in this conversation is something I commend her for, for one needs a ton of courage to confide.

Timeline:

[00:00] The reason she was on Tinder

[06:11] How does she date?

[09:19] Can Tinder really help you filter all the criteria a partner should have?

[12:15] Huge red flags for her

[16:03] Her breakup story

[22:05] The moments leading up to when she saw the photo

[27:35] How she moved on

[37:24] Her behavior after the breakup

[43:03] What does she look for in her future partner?

[44:31] She admits her flaws though

From the book Sapiens: A Brief History of Humankind by Yuval Noah, he described the long process of human evolution where we used to hunt in groups. Then, we slowly turned to agriculture because of the ease of storage of wheat. Agriculture means we start working for our own food and care less about the herd.

I think our current point in time is a point where we are vastly segregated by invisible walls called economics and politics. We are probably more selfish than ever, considering whatever we do today helps us build our gates and walls some places call flats and apartments. We may not look like we are selfish on the outside because we are all working towards a single goal or something along that line. Maybe we aren't that selfish after all?

Listen to the full conversation here: https://open.spotify.com/episode/65lAitiZjzEB91RE9W1EJi?si=K0mNvDhBRJ-182Aw_lJgGw

I've always wondered how things change over time. Like the stock market, the world economy, global political leadership or even my own behavior, I think of them in a line graph. There are many indicators and legends that we can give to make the graph a richer one, but the conversation with Jared was fascinatingly catered for me when we talked about morality and how it has changed over the entire human history.

Jared studied philosophy in evolution and objectivity in moral norms, a subject not many would do. To sit and think and talk is something I would want to do though. But that wasn't just it. Sitting with Jared means your beliefs will probably be solidified and strengthened, but you start asking yourself questions actually.

Listen to the full conversation here: https://open.spotify.com/episode/65lAitiZjzEB91RE9W1EJi?si=K0mNvDhBRJ-182Aw_lJgGw

I needed to look up the terms “evolution” and “objectivity in moral norms” when I learnt that this was the degree Jared underwent in the U.S. and I knew nothing about them. It turns out I had done a little bit of reading on these topics and you must believe me when I say I had a ton of fun just thinking about all these questions. None of us had the answers though. The fun part was challenging our beliefs and I realized some beliefs felt immensely strong walking away from this conversation. It felt good.

If you were to ask yourself what is “right” and “wrong” and contrast them with “good” and “bad”, which do you think would be a better descriptor of an event or a person? Sure, I argued that it comes down to context, but I think it’s how each of us view the matter and whether or not there is a next step moving forward. An action could be wrong and it may lead to punishments etc, but if it is bad, we may prefer to take some actions to turn things around. Like Jared says, viewing things on a spectrum like good and bad puts us on the middle ground for us to clearly define the next set of actions. 

Enjoyed every single bit of it. 

Timeline:

[00:00] What does he do

[08:36] A degree in philosophy in evolution and objectivity in moral norms

[10:51] What is right and what is wrong?

[15:06] How does evolution affect our morality?

[18:58] What about cultures that were once less favorable to human survival?

[24:20] Morality in animals

[25:54] How do cultures or moral norms travel?

[28:22] Impact of social media on our morality

[32:05] How the current moral behaviors or cultures affect our survival rate

[36:00] Are we becoming more selfish as a species?

[45:11] Overthrowing a belief

[50:27] Ideas and cultures are parasites

[01:02:21] What do we want to want?

[01:10:38] His idea for young people

I’m delighted to have Ganesha on the show again and of course we are going to talk about property investment and the renting landscape in Malaysia. It feels like we are hitting a new episode on this topic every month or so, and believe me I think we are headed in that direction. If you haven’t listened to the first part, I’m pretty sure you will have a lot more questions after listening to it. I brought those questions here in this episode, hoping to give Ganesha a chance to really teach me what I need to look out for before buying a property.

I even had Ganesha do some calculations on paper with me, trying to determine the loan eligibility if I had X amount of money. Fun fact: I was approached by several agents for property viewings and sharing with him the information means I get to see from his perspective what the deal breakers are! If you are interested in his opinions on whether to go for the property, I suggest you listen to this episode.

From commercial properties to the questions of renovation, we explored a lot of unanswered questions I had. It may be a short episode, but to me, I’m ready for the third episode already.

Timeline:

[00:00] Common mistakes young people make when they first start working

[05:24] What about buying a property for your own stay?

[07:02] Can banks see your rental income for higher loan eligibility?

[08:32] Rentals without tenancy agreements

[09:23] How he increases his occupation rate of his properties

[13:58] Aesthetics play a long game

[17:13] How to find new tenants 

[19:48] Telltale signs of a Tier 2 area

[25:43] An example of how to assess whether it is a good property

[29:02] Red flags of properties that you should avoid

[31:02] A property next to the MRT is surely better than one next to none, right?

[37:29] What about commercial properties?

[41:18] Calculations on loan eligibility

[45:55] How he budgets his money

I first felt ironic when people who say they care but do not put in as much emotions. I used to think that way. Until Aaryan told me otherwise.

It turns out, that people who care do not need to show their emotions, we can tell simply by their behavior and actions. Either way, I think it needs to be able to convey that message to those around you because without which, relationships tend to be broken by silence and inactions.

Listen to the full conversation here: https://open.spotify.com/episode/1P2p8Js8mLdtPpMdoDYaz2?si=qCaFBlAUSbebFYymt3xn7g