What does it take to feel safe, I wondered? I think what we’re really trying to do is feel comfortable. When we’re in that comfort zone, familiar territory, where we know what to expect, we feel we can relax. What do you need for that?
I was shown TouchPoints, when certain things are in place for you to feel comfortable, to know yourself and your reality. These may be your home, family, partner, cat, or also some less obvious things, your attitude, your personality, your values and expectations.
We put these in place like the fencepost around our lives and expect them to mark our space to ourselves and the world. We sit at the centre of this TouchPoint protected world and fight to keep the equilibrium. Work hard at keeping the norm, meeting our personal view and expectations of life as it is and sometimes get thrown by the naturally occurring changes of life or the needs and expectations of others. We create thought and emotions to keep all in place and have strong thoughts and even stronger emotions when a TouchPoint seems to be threatened, even if it’s just in our mind.
When your partner forgets to put the trash out, you have to wait all day for a phone call, your boss hints that the company is going into receivership; your favourite restaurant changes the menu or chef. Your brand of whatever is discontinued. How do you feel about that? What are your thoughts on that?
Understanding your personal TouchPoints, why and how they serve you can help you see how to take the feeling- thinking roller coaster down permanently and not feel threatened because your self- created TouchPoints are changing, to feel safe no matter where you are and what you’re doing because you know what’s going on and you’re in charge of it and no longer at the whim of change….You’re creating it!