Is Matt ready for the tsunami of crazy about to land on him? Are they going to give Victoria have a moustache to twist? Is "queen" an occupation? Is there any reason not to just walk around in bra and underwear? Has Matt James ever had a carb? How hard would it be to drink alcohol after an all-nighter? Has Anna ever had emotion that didn't show on her face?

Season 25 (or is it 26?) episode 1 of The Bachelor is sure to bemuse and maybe inspire?