Topic - ADHD and Empathy.  Parents brought him to me because he was hugging the newborn kittens to death.  They asked, “Is he going to be a serial killer?”

No, turns out he had Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder.  He couldn’t judge how tightly he was holding the kitties and was most worried about dropping them.

Parents were concerned about his lack of empathy.  The parts of the brain related to empathy aren’t damaged because of ADHD. Those with the disorder don’t see the cues that call for an empathic response and because they are likely to have such poor social skills, they don’t emotionally respond “on target”.

Their “here and now”-orientation may cause them to appear callous to others.  They simply forget and move on.  “What’s the big deal?”  In their mind, it’s about the “next” thing, not the “now” thing. 

Finally, people with ADHD want to help, but they just can’t organize their behavior and stick with it long enough to be supportive. ADHD can cause serious social problems.

Topic - Knowing vs Doing.  “You know better than that!  Why did you do that?”  It’s the mantra of parents. 

We adults also know not to do certain things, but we go ahead and do them anyway.  We eat too much, smoke, drink and don’t floss our teeth.  We know better than that. 

Why is there such a gap between knowing and behavior?  Because it’s about making a decision and sticking with it and it requires effort and commitment. 

Identify one behavior you want to change.  It might be the easiest one or the most difficult.  Commit to that behavior and stay dedicated until it is well-established. 

To change it, practice the behavior for a full month.  Floss your teeth every night.  Reward yourself with more time in the tub or a little extra reading. 

You’ll see that once the behavior is established, you’ll feel like something is missing if you don’t do it!  Change yourself a little at a time and be more satisfied with who you are.

Topic - Gifted Children.  Father beamed as he announced his son’s incredibly high IQ at a dinner party. 

As friends joked that he better start saving for Harvard, mother just looked exhausted.  She knew that Aaron wore her out. 

He was 4 and asking about 500 questions a day, 75 more than the average 4 year old.  And they weren’t just any questions.  “Mommy, why is it cold on the mountain top when it’s closer to the sun?” 

Exactly how do you raise a gifted child? 

The answer:  Creatively. You don’t have to know everything; you just have to know where to find answers. 

The Johns Hopkins Center for Talented Youth provides a wide array of activities for children as young as pre-kindergarten.  Other great resources are out there! 

Since boredom is a huge issue, public schools may not be a good fit.  Behavioral problems may erupt because many schools do not have gifted programming.  Offer to supplement Aaron’s classroom with materials and activities to spark his interests.

Topic - Higher Order Thinking Skills or HOTS, are the ability to reason using inferencing, drawing conclusions and integrating information. They generally emerge in middle school when the brain is mature enough to develop this kind of sophisticated thinking.

Benjamin Bloom defined the levels of HOTS in the 1950s. 

The first level is remembering information which doesn’t require analysis.  The next level, understanding, focuses on the ability to interpret concepts.  The next level up the ladder is applying which is described as using information in other situations. 

Analyzing is the process of comparing, organizing and breaking information down to understand it.  Evaluating comes next and requires justifying a decision by checking and hypothesizing.  Creating new ideas or ways of viewing things is the highest level. 

Watch your child to see how well these skills are developing.

Topic - Reading to Babies.  Isn’t reading to babies a complete waste of time?  I mean, they don’t know the story, they don’t follow along and they drool on the pages.  Yuck!

But, reading to babies is critical. 

First and foremost, reading strengthens visual attention which is known to enhance word recognition that leads to reading fluency and improved comprehension. 

When you read to baby Alex, help him to focus on the book by guiding his face toward the pages. 

Secondly, words! Words! Words!  Listening to the rhythm of language teaches Alex the cadence of speaking and he’ll learn to recognize words when he hears them over and over. 

Expanding his vocabulary is critical.  When you say the words and point to the pictures, his word knowledge is expanded.  Word knowledge is the heartbeat of both social and academic communication. 

Last, it’s just so nice to cuddle up with Alex and read books to him and as he rests peacefully against you.  Divine!

Topic - Dyslexia and Social Development.  Dyslexia is a neurological disorder that affects more than just reading and writing.  It can seriously impact your child’s social life. 

Kids with dyslexia don’t take in the whole social landscape.  Luke misses the joke and struggles with sarcasm because he doesn’t understand the words and he misses the social cues.  Dave gets nervous about texting because he misspells words and uses “shortcuts” others don’t understand. 

The pace of communicating is at warp speed, especially with girls, and Sydney just can’t find the right words fast enough to keep up. 

Memory is dependent on language skills.  Chris doesn’t remember what others have said or what he has promised and his friends get mad.  It is very confusing and he gives up.

Having relationships and dyslexia is just too much work.  Between the social demands and the academic load, kids with dyslexia experience much more stress than others.  Give ‘em a break, will ya?

Topic - Moral Development.  Morality is critical to the fabric of society.  But, how does morality develop? 

Lawrence Kohlberg proposed that moral development parallels cognitive and social development. 

Moral development is first seen in preschoolers who seek to gain maximum benefits for themselves.  When Frank reached elementary school, he was a “good boy” seeking approval from others and being friendly.  He then moved on to following fixed rules for the purpose of maintaining social order. 

When Frank became a teenager, he looked to mutually beneficial rules where the concepts of being morally right and legally right weren’t always the same thing. Subtleties of “right and wrong” played a role. 

Finally, when Frank moved into adulthood, his morality was based on mutual respect and ethical behavior.  Watch your child interact with others to gauge their stage of moral development.

Topic - Kids Play.  Play is the work of children, but why is it so important? 

Through play, Jack learns concepts, information, verbal and non-verbal skills, to negotiate roles and take turns. Sarah experiments with a wide variety of feelings, roles, and entertains unacceptable feelings and situations. Greg resolves his sadness from losing his dog. 

Fantasy and creativity are born through play. Large and small motor skills are developed impacting cognitive growth.  These social, emotional, and mental skills are foundational for school success. 

Playing with toys leads to competent handwriting and playground skills that allow them to feel confident and secure. 

Experimenting with language leads to problem-solving and conceptual understanding. 

Playing with others teaches emotional control, and perspective taking which leads to empathy.  They learn to resolve conflicts and advocate for themselves.

Topic - Pronunciation.  Let’s talk about pronunciation!  WHAT?  You may think this is a wacky and incredibly boring topic, but I’ve gotta tell ya’, it’s so much more important than you ever thought. 

Here’s the deal.  If Timmy says thereal instead of cereal or wocket for rocket, he is likely to both read and spell those sounds that way. 

Although others may find his articulation disorder charming and cute, it must be addressed immediately.  It won’t be “cute” when he’s 25. 

Because young children are not as aware of how they sound as older children, their articulation disorders are more difficult to remediate and intensive practice is required. 

Seek out a speech and language therapist for support.  Not only should Timmy attend speech therapy, but his parents should learn the therapist’s techniques to help him correctly practice the sounds at nearly every opportunity.  Parents, in turn, should encourage family members to gently correct Timmy so as not to continue his speech disorder.

Topic - Personality Styles.  Julie is a socially dominant, straight-forward 8 year old who has no tolerance for the “drama” of the other girls in 3rd grade.  She doesn’t giggle or act silly, but she’s no tomboy.  What’s up with her? 

Julie is not on the same emotional page as her female classmates. They don’t understand her, either.  They become confused over her intensity because they have learned to temper theirs. 

They have more ability to observe and monitor themselves than Julie has.  They more readily adjust their behavior to fit situations. 

Julie has yet to learn these skills and stands out as a result.  Her assertiveness is misinterpreted as bullying because her leadership style is different from the other girls. 

Help Julie to see how her behavior impacts others.  “Julie, you may not be aware that when you get mad so fast, it scares the other girls”.  Reflecting the behavior instead of judging will help her to develop insight and self-monitoring skills more quickly.