A Rotten Fridge, Clogged Pipes, and My Initiation into New York City

I five months in near-total silence on my grandparents' home in Topeka, Kansas trusting myself and embracing the quiet nothingness of the in-between. After being sent a blaring sign from The Universe that it was time to leave Denver and move to New York City, I knew I needed to deepen my relationship to myself and nervous system before I did. Then, it was time. Every step of the process of finding a new apartment and planning my trip across the country, I checked-in with my body and waited until it felt warm, light, and gooey before I said yes.

And then I pulled up to my new Brooklyn apartment, walked through the door, and the place was trashed. Literally.

This is my first ever solo episode. I'm pulling back the curtain on the last year of my life. The breakup that broke seriously engrained pattern. The profound boredom that cracked everything open. The decision to stop running away from places and start walking intentionally toward them. And what it actually means to be in the egg phase of the cycle of transformation instead of the cocoon — because they are not the same thing, and the distinction changes everything.

In today’s episode, we’ll dive into:

• The "What Would My Favorite Self Do?" experiment that started as a response to a breakup and became a complete life overhaul
• Why I went to Kansas before I went to New York — and why that was never the consolation prize
• The four stages of the transformation cycle and how they map onto the lunar cycle, the seasons, the menstrual cycle, and the butterfly
• What the void actually feels like from the inside (hint: 50 shades of gray, not in the fun way... but also kind of in the fun way)
• The difference between running away from a place and intentionally walking toward one
• How a rotten fridge, three plumbers, and six hours with Kevin became a spiritual initiation
• What it means to check your body for a "yes" — and what warm, light, and gooey actually feels like
• Why my inner child panicked when I crossed back into New York — and how I handled it
• The ventilator metaphor — and what it actually costs to take yourself off life support
• Saturn into Aries, synchronicities in the street, and the weekend that made the decision for me
• Why talking about the move would have taken me out of it — and what I chose instead
• The caterpillar phase: what it looks like to consume, grow, and stretch without ripping
• How Magnetic Habits Bingo kept me grounded through 305 days of complete upheaval

This episode is for:

• The ones who are mid-void and needed someone to tell them what's actually happening
• The ones who have run away from every place they've ever lived and are starting to wonder if it's them
• The ones whose body is screaming "not like this, not this fast" even when the decision is right
• The ones who have been calling it "the cocoon" when really they've been in the egg this whole time
• The ones whose external world is currently a complete disaster and are desperately trying to find the metaphor
• The ones who are ready to stop settling for relationships and cities and versions of themselves they've already outgrown
• The ones who want permission to do the big thing slowly
• And anyone who’s nosy and just wants to know why I went dark for 3+ weeks on social media

Ready to go through your own transformation?

The waitlist for Metamorphosis — my 12-week group immersion for self-alchemy — is now open! Over three-months starting in March, you'll meet and build unbreakable self-loyalty with your Inner Self, Younger Self, Shadow Self, Higher Self, and Future Self (and Spirit Guides) so you can stop suffering your own worst enemy and start thriving as your own best friend. There are only 13 spots. Want in?

Join the waitlist here: ashleybyjones.com/metamorphosisOr DM me directly to learn more.

Wanna come yap with me about the cycle of transformation or moving insanity?Instagram: @ashley.b.jonesWebsite: ashleybyjones.com

What if play isn't just for kids? What if it's the practice that keeps you tethered to yourself when everything falls apart?

Rachael Renae spent over a decade as a civil engineer, building what looked like a stable life while her creative soul screamed to get out. Then her dad got sick. She moved home. He passed away six months later. And suddenly, she couldn't fake it anymore. So, she quit her corporate job, started making weird paper mache sculptures taller than herself, and discovered that play isn't optional when everything falls apart — it's survival.

This conversation is about what happens when grief cracks you open and, instead of trying to put yourself back together the same way, you let yourself become something new.

We dive into:

• Why matching your mug to your outfit is an act of survival during hard times
• Play and creativity as a tether to your authentic self when everything else is falling apart
• How grief expands your capacity for joy (not just pain)
• The spell book her mom found and the shame of having your creativity discovered
• Closing her stationery business because monetizing joy killed the magic
• Being terrible at stained glass and why that's perfect information
• Jealousy as a roadmap to what you actually want
• Why creativity is human nature—from field hollers to concentration camp art
• Naming your inner child and becoming your own best friend
• Building trust with yourself through tiny daily choices that compound
• "It should feel like the book"—her framework for relationships that feel resistance-free
• The difference between making art to sell vs. making art because you're obsessed

This episode is for: anyone navigating grief or loss, people who dismiss play as frivolous, burnt-out corporate workers who feel that crunchy agitation of "something's not right," anyone who thinks they're "not creative," the ones who need permission to be gloriously bad at things, anyone protecting their joy from monetization, people rebuilding their life from scratch and terrified they're doing it wrong.

Free resources from Rachael:

• Silly Questions for Creative Connection - Deepen your relationships through play
• 80+ Play Ideas + Exercise - Discover your version of play

Rachael's book Prioritize Play comes out June 2026

The Juice Box community: Rachael's year-long creative container where you pick a play priority each season and actually follow through. Opens for new members April 2026.

Where to find Rachael:Instagram: @rachaelrenae Website: rachaelrenae.com

Rachael Renae is an artist and creativity hype gal! I help creatives use play as a tool to overcoming blocks, connecting with themselves, and living their big, juicy lives!

The Power of Ravishing The F*ck Out of Your Life with Giana Cerasia

What if shadow work isn't about digging through your trauma—but about throwing the most exquisite dinner party for every version of yourself you've been taught to exile?

Giana Cerasia has been a lot of things: a Title I teacher with 150 students a day, a prison reformer, a government lobbyist fighting for educational equity, a CrossFit athlete, a 4th generation Italian witch. She's also someone who brought her husband AND their girlfriend home to her mom's house for the holidays—and sat in the discomfort while her family spun out. Because Giana knows something most of us are terrified to accept: wholeness doesn't come from fixing your broken parts. It comes from learning to ravish them.

This conversation isn't about healing in the "love and light" way. It's about getting feral with your shadows, sitting in discomfort until you find play on the other side, and refusing to collapse yourself into a single story just to belong.

In today’s salacious convo, we dive into:

• What shadow work actually is (spoiler: not rehashing trauma),
• the half-closed loops we carry and why they keep us stuck,
• how sitting in discomfort creates intimacy,
• why the opposite of trauma is play,
• loving the good girl and the control freak instead of exiling them,
• bringing your husband and girlfriend home to your mom's house,
• and the one exercise you can do right now with the person who pisses you off most.

This episode is for:

• anyone exhausted from trying to "fix" themselves,
• chronic people-pleasers managing everyone else's feelings,
• humans who've been taught to pick one identity but know they're multifaceted as fuck (the ones ready to stop performing and start ravishing),
• women hungry to descend into shadow and alchemize it into power.

Where you can hang out with Giana:Instagram: @giana.cerasia | Podcast: Kitchen Table Sauce | Substack: Giana's Substack | Free Monthly Women's Circle: Sign up here

Giana is launching her Apprenticeship in Depth, Paradox and Power - a 7-month journey (starting in April, ending in Scorpio season) where you'll play, dig, and experiment your way into ravishing your life. Join the waitlist at her Instagram or website.

About Giana:Giana Cerasia is a strategist, coach, and modern-day medicine woman for people who refuse to live half a life. She's obsessed with complexity—how we hold contradiction, inhabit our bodies, and stop collapsing into binaries in cultures addicted to simplicity. She's been many things: teacher, prison reformer, lobbyist, athlete, corporate executive, coach, and a 4th generation Strega. Each bearing the same lesson—simplification of identity is seductive, but wholeness lives in the mess. Today, she runs Ravish where she works with women hungry to descend into shadow, tend their paradox, and alchemize it into power, creativity, and embodied leadership. She also runs And/Also, a business strategy studio, and hosts free monthly community spaces for women.

What does it take to completely blow up your entire life and hit the hard reset button?

Well, my friend Edila has done it MULTIPLE times. A couple years ago, she sold everything she owned (literally gave her furniture away to people on her apartment floor), bought a one-way ticket to Mexico, and hasn't looked back in four years. She's traveled and worked across 15+ countries, rebuilt her business from scratch, and discovered versions of herself she didn't know existed. Recently, she burned her design business to the ground and is starting over again because she knows she can.

Now, today’s convo isn't a "quit your job and travel the world" fantasy. We get into environmental disruption and how to intentionally putting yourself in uncomfortable situations to meet different parts of yourself, confront your biases, and figure out what you're actually capable of.

In our convo, we explore: the screaming sensation that tells you it's time to leave, burning down what no longer serves you, traveling slow vs fast (and why slow wins), creating structure within chaos, confronting unconscious biases, why fun isn't unproductive, and building IRL community in a world that wants to keep us behind screens.

This episode is for: anyone who feels trapped in their current life, people who crave change but don't know how to start, digital nomads or aspiring travelers, anyone ready to prioritize pleasure and fun, the ones who want their dreams to be louder than their doubts.

Join Edila in Portugal (June 2026): The Link Up is where internet friends become IRL soulmates. No worksheets, no business talk, no goal-setting sessions. Just real-time connection that reminds you why you chose this life. Save $700 until February 1st

Where you can hang out with Edila: Instagram | Threads | Website

Edila Stace-Smith is an IRL experience curator, business mentor, and remote life educator for the ones in motion — creatives, coaches, and entrepreneurs who've outgrown the version of their business (and life) that once fit, and are ready to build from who they're becoming. Having traveled and worked across 15+ countries the past four years, her work lives at the intersection of disrupting your environment often, prioritizing pleasure and fun above all, and letting your dreams be louder than your doubts — so you can create a life and business that's by design and wildly epic.

Someone cast a spell on Heated Rivalry. There's no other explanation.

My friend KP and I are backkkk for round two of what is now our (and your) emotional support group. It's been a month since we first watched the show, and instead of subsiding, the possession and obsession has simply only gotten worse. I'm glued to my phone. My entire feed is Heated Rivalry. Anderson Cooper is talking about it on New Year's Eve. Brandi Carlile is gobsmacked. It’s hit mainstream news.

And we're still at the cottage. Literally cannot leave.

It’s why KP and I are back for round 2. This time we're deep diving into two main topics.

1. What happens when you take a collective psychosis moment and actually translate it into your real life?
2. How do you become the art you love instead of just consuming it?

In today's episode, we chit and chat about: spell casting and artistic intention, confessing our phone addictions, how to use social media as a tool instead of a world, failure tolerance and rejection, the Magician as the horniest tarot card (we're serious), and setting 2026 intentions that actually make you feel alive.

This episode is perfect for: anyone still in the trenches, people struggling with phone addiction, anyone who wants to stop consuming and start creating, the freaks who are ready to make their life the spell.

Spoiler warning: We discuss the Quinn audios and Heated Rivalry post-episode 6.

Let KP build your editorial content world: https://www.jupitercontent.co/

Where you can keep hanging out with KP: Instagram | Threads | Substack

Join Ashley's Magnetic Habit Bingo 101 (starts January 12): Sign up here

KP is an editorial content strategist hell-bent on ensuring the weirdos inherit the earth by taking up more space online. They believe liberation is for all, capitalism sucks, and only we can save us. When you show up as your weirdest, wackiest self online, it's easier to make money, build community, and have fun with it. KP is a 30-year-old Pisces sun, Aquarius rising, married queer person who loves talking about social media, gender, and why being a little freak is actually revolutionary practice.

How does a low-budget show about closeted hockey players become a revolutionary moment that leads to collective mania and lowkey psychosis?

My friend KP — social media wizard, editorial content strategist, and fellow queer human — and I both got completely possessed by a show called Heated Rivalry three weeks ago. It's about two professional hockey players (one gay, one bi) who've been secretly involved for nearly a decade. They can't come out. Their careers would be over. For Ilya, being Russian, it could literally be dangerous. Yet the chemistry between them cannot be denied or stopped. So much so, it’s taken the world by storm.

Instead of this being just another fandom fad moment, it feels... revolutionary?

It’s a raw, vulnerable, messy kind of queer love we rarely see on screen. The kind that makes you remember what yearning feels like. The kind that invites you back into your body instead of letting you escape from your life.

Today, we get into: why this show hits like crack cocaine, the difference between performing and living vulnerability, how queer representation is shifting, how to turn fandom and parasocial relationships into real life connection, and why being a "little freak" might actually be resistance to fascism.

This episode is for: anyone who's ever been possessed by a piece of media, people navigating their queer identity, fans of romance novels or fan fiction, anyone who needs permission to yearn, the bisexuals (hi).

Spoiler warning: We discuss Heated Rivalry through episode 5.

KP is an editorial content strategist hell-bent on ensuring the weirdos inherit the earth by taking up more space online. They believe liberation is for all, capitalism sucks, and only we can save us. When you show up as your weirdest, wackiest self online, it's easier to make money, build community, and have fun with it. KP is a 30-year-old Pisces sun, Libra rising, married queer person who loves talking about social media, gender, and why being a little freak is actually revolutionary practice.

Let KP build your editorial content world: ⁠https://www.jupitercontent.co/⁠⁠

Where you can keep hanging out with KP: ⁠Instagram⁠ | ⁠Threads⁠ | ⁠Substack⁠

What do you do when everything falls apart?

My friend Jonathan Koe — mystical astrologer, energy worker, Pisces sun with two master's degrees, and one of my favorite people — just got laid off from his job in insurance. And instead of spiraling (okay, maybe a little bit of spiraling has been involved), we're talking about The Void.

That space where you don't know what's next. Where control stops working. Where you have to figure out how to just... be. The place you enter when your whole world blows up.

Today, we get into: navigating uncertainty, respecting (and disrespecting) your birth chart, why doubt is actually a beginning, and how bathtubs are secretly spiritual portals.

This episode is for: anyone in transition, anyone who's tired of self-help extremes, anyone who needs permission to not have it figured out.

Sign up for Jonathan's free 3-Step Bad Day Protocol, the secret sauce to un-funk-ing yourself: www.jonathankoe.com/bad-day-protocol-register

Where you can keep hanging out with him: @jonathankoeofficial on IG | Healing the Spirit podcast | Substack newsletter

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Jonathan is a mystical astrologer, spiritual mentor, energy worker, creative guide, and musician. Jonathan supports mystics in making their art, artists in embracing the mystery, and entrepreneurs in embodying their unique spirit's calling.

True to their Virgo rising and Gemini Moon path, Jonathan is a meganerd with two masters degrees – one in piano performance from Manhattan School of Music and another in economics from Columbia University.

A Pisces Sun at heart, Jonathan is happiest when he's helping clients and students realize their own truth and when he's in the flow state making music for pure enjoyment.

What if a butterfly flapping its wings could create a tornado on the other side of the world? And what if your tiny, messy, imperfect choices could ripple out and transform your entire life?

Welcome to The Effects of Butterflies — the podcast that exists so you can find the inspiration to have The Audacity™️, make decisions you know are right for you, and take leaps of faith to finally live life on your own terms.

In this intro episode, Ashley breaks down:

• What the butterfly effect actually is (chaos theory meets philosophy)
• Why this podcast embraces BOTH scientific logic AND spiritual mysticism
• The eternal "both/and" of nature vs. nurture, fate vs. free will
• Why the most important questions are the unanswerable ones
• The difference between random happenstance (fate) and intentional choice (karma)

What to expect: Conversations with messy humans living in their magnetism. Deep dives. Collective readings. Gen Z humor meets ancient Greek philosophy. Always eavesdropping on the most profound soul debriefs.

This isn't a blueprint-how-to guide. Think of it as a collaborative spell book filled with practical magic on how to embrace unideal circumstances, own your human mess, and seize the reins to transform your life.

Listen if you need permission to: Stop having all the answers. Trust yourself. Go after what you want. Embrace the uncertainty and the not-knowing-how-it-all-plays-out-ness of it all.

Welcome to the butterfly effect. Welcome to your life, unfolding.