The Electric Feminine

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In this episode we speak with SadistriX, a Dom (Dominant in BDSM) educator and activist, breaks down the meaning of BDSM and some of the biggest misconceptions about the BDSM community like fact that Consent is the cornerstone of BDSM. BDSM stands for Bondage and Discipline, Dominance and Submission.

SadistriX found the scene several years ago through an event in her city called Kinky Geek Night run by another woman. She served as this woman's apprentice for years until she was given the opportunity to take over for her and is now the owner of Kinky Geek Night in Madison, Wisconsin. BDSM is more than just sex apparently as it can help people learn to get clear on their boundaries and how to express them firmly and with out fear or guilt. SadistriX stresses how films such as 50 Shades of Gray and thirst trapping videos on social media can do additional harm by not offering accurate depictions or enough context and education to the viewers. She points to several problematic moments if not the entirety of the film in 50 Shades of Gray, namely the lack of consent, coercion and manipulation. None of which she says would be allowed at any of her events. She goes on to praise kink educators such as Sunny Megatron who she feels work very hard to keep the community safe and those curious about it informed.

We talked about the WHY behind someone wanting to either dominate or be dominated. What satisfaction or release is granted with being a submissive? SadistriX also speaks to the importance of representation in the BDSM community. While we know seeing other Black, Latinx, Indigenous and Asian faces is a confirmation of belonging there is also the fact of understanding which fetishes can actually be deemed inappropriate. It's one thing to be invited into a White space but it's another thing to then navigate the racism and stereotypes in the fetish scene. This was a fascinating discussion on human desire, pleasure, boundaries, communication and understanding the basics of BDSM. 

*SadistriX social media:
TikTok @sadistrix
IG sadistrix_ 
*KinkGeek Fest: https://kgnmadison.wordpress.com/
*Sunny Megatron: https://sunnymegatron.com/ 

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Erotic Energy and Motherhood: Sam Fisher has been a sensual movement coach for 15 years. She is also an Erotic Blue Print coach. In this episode we discuss with this mother of 4 how her sensual movement journey saved her life. Now having lead 100s of women into sensual bliss Sam shares the importance of understanding our Erotic Blue Print and why this energy is important to mom's to nurture and protect. We are sexual beings before kids and we certainly are after. How does mom feeling secure and inspired by her sensual connection help with her relationship to her daughters? How might it help her daughters as they grow with their own relationship to self? Last we explore when and how to talk sensuality with your children.

Sam Fisher
Website: The Sweet Spot Life
IG: @thesweetspotlife
Erotic Blue Print Coaching:  Erotic Blueprints™, a map of arousal that reveals your specific erotic language of orgasmic delight.
Theta Healing Technique: This method is a technique of meditation and a spiritual philosophy that is not specific to one religion, but recognizes all of them with the aim to become closer with the Creator. This training is meant for the body, mind, and spirit and gives one the ability to get rid of limiting beliefs and live a life full of positive thoughts through prayer and meditation.

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We open this episode with reviewing Sara's action steps from the last session. What Sara realizes most after reflecting again on her family values is that she is ready to create a new value around beauty and personal choice. She doesn't have to choose any more between her attraction for the earth mama vibe or her Devil Wears Prada energy. She realizes it's ok to be drawn to various energies and to try them on. We confirm that many times the things we fear others are thinking is what drives us to  dim our light. Sara recognizes when she reflects back that no one actually said the negative things she feels about herself. It's what she assumed others must think.

Where does the critical voice really come from? How much of what we believe is due to other peoples fears and perceptions being projected on to us? Sara and I talk about the real work being in the practice of talking down your Gremlin, or inner critic in the moment. Knowing your strengths, attributes and being able to own them out right and out loud is doing the work.
Make sure to listen for Sara's last session.

*For more information on how to coach with me go HERE

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Destigmatize masturbation, sex toys and women with disabilities is blogger, sex columnist and activist Makgosi Letimile's mission. 

In this episode, we speak with sex columnist Makgosi Letimile on how she discovered the power of masturbation as a healing tool, how doctors and the health industry give little respect or regard to women's bodies and how we can overcome the stigma around sex and self pleasure for women. She also shares more on her work to dismantle the negative stories around sex toys and masturbation for not just women but women with disabilities. 
I found my way to Makgosi from Season 3 guest and sex educator, Lisa Welsh. 

As I myself work towards my personal sex education certification I am learning more and more about the challenges some women face with not just the act of intercourse but masturbation in particular. What caught my attention with Makgosi was that she was sharing her experience from the point of view of a person with a disability that uses a wheelchair.  Masturbation has the ability to connect us to self-pleasure, self-discovery and self-love and I knew it was an important discussion to bring to the show.


IG: https://www.instagram.com/wheelsntoys/?hl=en
Wheels N Toys Shopify: https://wheelsntoys.myshopify.com/

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In this episode we speak with my cousin Nakia Rosario, a magical around the way girl from the Bronx living in North Carolina. Life experiences have developed her into an intuitive shape shifter that utilizes love, juices and herbs to encourage, empower and uplift every path she walks.   

A few years younger than me, Nakia has always looked up to me, however, what is revealed in this episode is how much she has become an inspiration, advisor and confidant to me. As single mom and a Black Latina woman, Nakia learned the importance of pouring into herself after many years of self doubt, personal challenges and traumas. Generations of women in our family have passed down certain messages to us and it's up to us to now discern what was helpful and what was harmful so that we can change the narrative for the women in our family for generations to come. 

As many Black and Latina women can attest, there is a narrative that we must project a hardness in order to survive. Often many women have no choice, but then what is the result long term?  We talk about how in her case that hardness was necessary in order to keep the family safe and all the plates spinning. However, if not ever balanced with the ease, softness and flow of the Divine Feminine some Black and Latina women are left feeling depleted, unseen and unloved. At this point, an investment in oneself in is a question of survival not luxury. 

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Sara Tracy has been a long time client of mine for both sensual movement and life coaching. I first met Sara during a Pure Mvmnt Immersion weekend retreat. She was warm, thoughtful, beautiful and deeply wounded by the traumatic circumstances that lead to her divorce. Sara has worked with her therapist, and me as her life and sensual movement coach for several years now to help her heal and reconnect. In these next 3 episodes you will hear me work with Sara as she steps into the next level of her Goddess work and personal growth journey. In this first session Sara shares that after her years of working on building a healthy relationship to her body, sexuality and sensual expression she sees where she is still not fully embodying it in her day to day life. She is conflicted by her family values and view points on natural beauty versus her desire to explore make up and clothing outside of her usual hippie or business style. She wrestles with feeling like she is still needing to compartmentalize herself and her desires at times to fit peoples expectations of her. The question becomes who is Sara really and does she have to choose? Now that she feels closer to knowing her whole self how does she integrate it into the world. *Content Warning: statutory rape is discussed * I recommend you listen first to the Bonus episode before this to learn the difference between a life coach and a therapist.

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This bonus episode was created to help share the difference between life coaching and therapy.  What do life coaches do though and how does it differ from therapy?

 Some life coaches are trained and some are not. All therapist must have a license however. In general, life coaches are utilizing their own life experience to help their clients navigate their current life obstacles. Some life coaches use personal development tools they learned in training programs, for instance, I use the Energy Leadership Index with my clients, a tool created by Bruce D. Schneider, founder of the iPEC program.

 Life coaches typically don't give advice as they're supposed to be teaching you how to make choices and follow your own intuition. It's the reason so many of ask so many questions. We believe we all actually do have our answers, we just don't trust ourselves. Life coaches generally focus on moving you forward in your life after you've done your unpacking of the past. Now a therapist is a trained health professional who may hold several degrees. They sometimes specialize in one area like trauma, eating disorders or relationship coaching. Therapist are trained to help you unpack what happened in the past so you can heal. Sometimes, I admit, life coaches do have to have some context for where your thought patterns and habits may have been created so we'll ask some questions of your past for context.

I believe a great life coach is one that listens really well, has great empathy and has not agenda of their own. I believe these are the same important attributes I look for in a therapist as well. Both life coaching and therapist can have life changing benefits and I believe they can work well together if the client has done the bulk of their past  healing with their therapist first. Not everyone is ready for a life coach, and that may just mean they're still very much attached to "what happened" which will make it very challenging to move forward with a life coach. Remember, there are amazing life coaches and not so amazing life coaches. There are amazing therapist and not so amazing therapist.  I hope this episode was helpful in shedding some light between the two professions. 

Ready to make a change in your life? Join The Electric Life Coaching waitlist here!

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We made it to season 4! 7,000 downloads later The Electric Feminine is back with another group of amazingly inspiring women and their stories of resilience, self love and sexuality. Apply Pressure was a phrase I saw a while back and I loved the heat that phrase carried.  This is the energy I am manifesting when it comes to pursuing my desires. My greatest desire this year is to only do things that feel like an investment in myself.  How are you leveling up this year? How are you investing in yourself? It's time to let the world know you are no longer playing games with your health, your mindset, your Goddess connection or your boundaries. 

We have some firsts for the podcast this season I can't wait for you to experience. One is that I have a coaching client on for the first time. In 3 separate episodes, long time Electric Life and Pure Mvmnt client, Sara Tracy, will be on to work on the next phase in her connection to her body and sensuality. 

The other first is having family on the show! My cousin Nakia Rosario brings the real and raw, heartfelt talk about her journey back to the Divine Feminine as a single mom and a Black Latina woman. 

Makgosi Letimille, is an amazing warrior goddess, is a sex toy columnist and activist. She will blow your mind with her story of battling meningitis and losing the function of the lower half of her body only to find that through orgasm she could learn to control her incontinence.  She now has a gorgeous vision for how she will revolutionize and normalize the sex toy industry and masturbation for the women of South Africa where she is from. 

Sam Fisher has been a sensual movement coach for 15 years. She is also an Erotic Blue Print coach. In this episode we discuss with this mother of 4 how her sensual movement journey saved her life. Now having lead 100s of women into sensual bliss Sam shares the importance of understanding our Erotic Blue Print and why this energy is important to mom's to nurture and protect. We are sexual beings before kids and we certainly are after. How does mom feeling secure and inspired by her sensual connection help with her relationship to her daughters? How might it help her daughters as they grow with their own relationship to self? Last we explore how to talk sensuality with your children. 

SadistriX is a BDSM educator and activist and the owner and operator of Kinky Geek Fest. I asked SadistriX on the show after having followed her for a while on TikTok. I loved that she was a Black woman in the Kink community speaking on representation and why it mattered. Her clear explanation of kink and what truly is the cornerstone of the community may surprise you. 

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Thanks to all the guests who appeared on the podcast this season. In this last episode Anjua shares how each guest was the embodiment of her favorite phrases, 'take up space'.  In a society that is focused on keeping us in a assigned pre-determined boxes, being yourself seems to be one of the most difficult things to achieve. So much so that when we do meet someone who is being authentically themselves we actually comment on it like it's a phenomena, "Ally is such a breath a fresh air! It's so cool how she's so comfortable being herself." From Imani embracing the call to embody her feminine voice and energy through her creation of Imani Vanzap to Allison Cruz, a sexual abuse survivor who turned her pain into purpose each guest shared how they chose to be, do and say what was truest to them in order to live the life they wanted for themselves. It was an honor to speak with each guest and learn how we can continue to be the brightest version of ourselves. Thank you to all the listeners for your support and comments. Please remember to leave us a review and share it with a friend! 

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In this episode, host Anjua Maximo sits down with up-and-coming androgynous model Myrna Pitts. While she identifies as a lesbian and feels more comfortable in her masculine energy and dress she has always felt able to effortlessly slip into a more feminine energy. I shared with Myrna that from my research it appeared as if most of the more celebrated androgynous models were White with only a handful or less of BIPOC models. Myrna agreed that the fashion industry tends to focus on Ruby Rose as the most recognizable androgynous-looking model and they're overlooking a significant amount of beautiful androgynous models of color. I asked if Myrna had encountered a situation where she was being asked to present more in her feminine energy and look than her masculine. While she hasn't encountered it yet this early on in her career she is definitely prepared to push back on anyone in the industry if she feels like she's being hired more for her feminine persona. 

Interestingly, when asked about gender pronouns or traditional gender roles in society Myrna actually leans more towards what one would consider old-school ideas. From an early memory with her grandmother, Myrna recalls her saying she was a woman, first and foremost regardless of who she loved.  This declaration has stayed with Myrna ever since and while she herself plays with gender in her clothing and energy she seems comfortable indicating that she thinks that there are more male-oriented projects and tasks and more female-oriented tasks.

I asked Myrna how she felt the representation of androgynous models in fashion and entertainment might impact the world. She responded that androgyny will introduce people to the beauty and unique ability that she and others have to fully embody and flow between the masculine and feminine. She is giving THE best of ALL worlds.

To support and follow along with Myrna's journey you can find her here:
Instagram
TikTok

And as always, thank you for listening

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