The Empowered Catholic Podcast

We want to avoid giving unsolicited advice and comments whenever possible. How is that possible when we have conflicts? Or we are the landlord or banker and we have to spell out some requirements? COLLABORATING with your young adults during their transition to independence helps shift the relationship to a life-long, loving, adult, relationship. Shifting to COLLABORATION is a BIG shift for most parents. We are deep into "control" or "advising". A tip for being a great collaborator is: to learn how to pursue an INTEREST instead of taking a POSITION. Positions are the particular solutions we propose; these serve a larger Interest. An Interest is the larger thing that you are trying to accomplish with your "position." Listen to the podcast episode to hear more about the what, why, and how of collaboration.

Send a text to us at The Catholic Midlife podcast with your thoughts as you listen: 612-208-9150.

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We discuss some of the biggest DO's and DON'Ts for managing our relationships with our young adults. What's the best way to give advice? Our young adults generally don't want to hear it. They've had plenty of it from us in the past. We also discuss how our young adults really hate receiving or perceiving, judgment from their parents. We can carry a lot of judgment of them without realizing it. Or we make the judgment and think, "It's "no big deal." Here's some news: It is a HUGE deal. The perception by your adult child is the target of critical judgment is probably the number one reason parents get cut off or cut out of their children's lives. Learn how to handle this area of your relationship with a great deal of care and intentionality.

What's a story you have about successes or challenges in relating to your young adult children? We would love to hear from you!

Send a text to us at The Catholic Midlife podcast with your thoughts as you listen: 612-208-9150.

Email us at: [email protected]

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Website: https://thmlcoaching.com/podcast/

There's a huge goal to never lose sight of when relating to your young adult! Our expectations of them can conflict with that goal. It's human nature to focus on what's NOT happening and to be impatient for what we think SHOULD be happening. We have expectations rooted in our own personal history. Let's bear in mind that the culture is not what it used to be. Life's path is less settled and predictable in terms of transitioning into independent adult roles. There's also lots of brain maturation still happening into the late twenties. As parents, we are transitioning from a role of control (as if we ever really had that!) to a relationship of mutual respect and influence. It's up to us to model what mutual respect looks like. Our control of our children's outcomes, meaning the "results" they get, was always limited. Most parents need to consciously move away from taking responsibility for the outcomes their children have. And to release control to them for their experiences of being happy in their circumstances.

Send a text to us at The Catholic Midlife podcast with your thoughts as you listen: 612-208-9150.

Email us at: [email protected]

Facebook: The Catholic Midlife Podcast

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thecatholicmidlife/

Website: https://thmlcoaching.com/podcast/

Join us as we take a quick break to remember the helpfulness of self-compassion practice, why it's important that you use this skill now, what it is, and how much we want it as part of our spiritual life. Self-compassion is a skill and a habit. What does that remind you of?? A virtue! Yes, a habitual and firm disposition to do the good. In this instance, to do good to YOU so you can bring God's good to those around you with serenity, courage, and grace. Need patience? Then you need self-compassion. Need to persevere with hope? Start with self-compassion so you can tap your spiritual gifts as fully as possible.

In this Episode

Check out Karen's self-compassion live webinar: HERE

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Text: The Catholic Midlife podcast: 612-208-9150.

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Bill Yoh shares how a love of neighbor lit up his life with the fire of the Holy Spirit and inspired him to live a simple, strong, unvarnished faith in a straightforward and consistent way. We were delighted to speak with him as he shared his experiences, from the dumpsters of Nicaragua to the boardroom of one of the largest privately held US companies. He shares lessons taught to him by the poor, by the generous people who serve them and picks out a handful of virtues that will help each of us follow the inspirations of the holy spirit.

In this Episode

Go to Bill Yoh's website to buy the book, get the newsletter, and learn more: https://unvarnishedfaith.com/

Book: Unvarnished Faith: Learning to Love with a Servant's Heart, by Bill Yoh.

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Text: The Catholic Midlife podcast: 612-208-9150.

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How do you know if you have a Giant Killer Duty Robot looking over your shoulder? Dominican Fr. Servais Pinckaers continues to help us see the robot AND tells us what moral theory used to look like before that robot swept down like a terminator from Skynet and displaced the teachings of Augustine, Thomas Aquinas, and the church fathers. It turns out that, if you want to get your ideas about what you are supposed to do (aka morals) you have to START WITH THE RIGHT QUESTION! Yep. It's true in your life. And it's true in our life as a community of the faithful. We discuss how it is (moral obligation theory), how it was (the question of happiness), and how to spot that robot in your mirror!

In this Episode

The Sources of Christian Ethics, Servais Pinckaers https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0823208282/

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Text: The Catholic Midlife podcast: 612-208-9150.

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Move over, Goliath, we got a Giant Killer Duty Robot to slay here. Good thing we are getting lots of help from Dominican Fr. Servais Pinckaers, who wrote a lot of the encyclical Veritatis Splendor and the Catechism of the Catholic Church with John Paul II. Servais calls the robot "Moral Obligation Theory." He traces its roots back to the 15th and 16th centuries. It's a theory that has become a "lens" that most of us modern Christians use most of the time when we think about morals - it's so powerful we don't even know we are looking through it! As with most thought distortions, it takes something that's good and takes it out of context, elevating it to have a priority that's misplaced in most circumstances. Moral obligation theory is a giant killer robot because it's a joy killer. Servais is very clear: this theory stinks and does not help us. If dealing with God makes you feel miserable, or you feel like your entire life is grinding out one duty after another, you might be laboring under this theory of moral obligation.

In this Episode

The Sources of Christian Ethics, Servais Pinckaers https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0823208282/

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Email or text us:

Text: The Catholic Midlife podcast: 612-208-9150.

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Website: https://thmlcoaching.com/podcast/

End your bad habit of "perfect" with us! End it today. "Be perfect as your heavenly Father is perfect is what it says in Matthew 5:48," right? After all, PERFECT is an English word that we know very well. If it's perfect then it's flawless, without defects, and does not make mistakes. That's modern English. But the word used in Scripture does not mean the same thing as the modern English word "perfect." The word used in Matthew 5:48 is a form of the Greek word Teleios. It means something more like "grown" or "mature" like an acorn matured into an oak. Please stop trying to be perfect. Scripture does not require it. In fact, it is worse than useless. Join us as we discuss the details.

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Text: The Catholic Midlife podcast: 612-208-9150.

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Amanda is a young lady described in a recently published book reviewed in the August 23, 20023 Wall Street Journal. She's had perfectionism drilled into her, Barbie-style, and she's internalized it. "Self-directed" perfectionism is the perfectionism that's directed at yourself; it's what we normally think of as perfectionism. Amanda has hit all her milestones through her middle-class upbringing: the grades, the extracurriculars, and the great school. And now she has a great job. She's empty. Why? Answering that question is, in many ways, the point of this podcast. We all know, intellectually, that chasing success can be a trap. Success, however, comes in many forms, including not only professional work but also marriage, family, children, roles in our local church, health, body image, and more. For instance, have you been complaining about your lack of progression in your "spiritual" life for pretty much all of your life? As midlifers, we are likely to need to give up on some of our hoped-for "successes'' if we want to flourish, if for no other reason than the fact that our ambitious and unrealistic 20-year-old selves very likely set a bar so high that we can't reach it in every area of our life. Perfectionism is one of the big thought traps we can so easily fall into. Most perfectionists refuse to see it for the performance-killer and joy-stealer that it is. As we say in Minnesota: "Go figure."

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Text: The Catholic Midlife podcast: 612-208-9150.

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Barbie, the movie, has something to say about perfectionism. Remember that monologue by Gloria? Gloria was super frustrated with the contradicting and insatiable messages directed to her as a woman that required her to be perfect and to be judged inadequate whenever she fell short. It resonated with many, many women. Perfectionism messages are constantly being directly beamed into you from your environment. Beamed, like Scotty beaming things, OK? That's just one arena of life. Men and women are getting these messages constantly from all over the place in our culture, which is very competitive, often treats us as commodities, keeps us insecure in our roles, and holds us to what are often unreasonable standards. Join us to discuss "so what," "what to do," and "why does it matter, really, really matter"? (hint: yes it really matters)

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Text: The Catholic Midlife podcast: 612-208-9150.

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Website: https://thmlcoaching.com/podcast/