In today's episode:

Mike Johnson has a secret and everyone wants to know what it is

Michelle Obama also has a secret that everyone already knows, but now she's opened a 'box,' a 'big mistake

Steve Bannon returns, looking very tan and healthy

The Nevada Supreme Court decides to allow unpostmarked ballots delivered after Election Day to be counted

Jeff Bezos asks the people to trust WaPo again if he agrees to admit Trump isn't literally Hitler

Politico suggests the end of the Electoral College on behalf of us poor Trump-supporting election deniers

Commies really believe Trump is going straight to jail if he loses the fake election.

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