The Everglow | Empath Survival

What’s the one most valuable thing you have and can never replace, that you paid nothing for, protect the least, but let people take from you for free even when you don’t want to give it away?

TIME.

We spend so much of our lives accumulating assets, material things, whether that includes your latest electronic gadget, your house, or your car.  What do you do to protect those things?  You buy an insurance plan for your phone in case it gets lost or stolen, and a case for your phone so it doesn’t break if you drop it.  You protect it.  You pay for a car warranty, wash your car, and do regular maintenance on your car so it lasts as long as possible and looks good.  You protect it.  You buy home owner’s insurance, perform regular maintenance, clean your house, and renovate it.  You protect it.  You put your money in a bank, and other valuables in a safety deposit box.  You protect them.

If anyone tried to take your phone, car, house, or money, you’d be pissed off, angry, fight them if necessary, and cause a ruckus to guard against anyone taking these things from you.  Even though all of these things are replaceable, you would never let anyone take them away from you without a fight.

But your time on the other, you give away without a second though.  Especially as an empath or highly sensitive person, time is something you give away freely and let people take from you, even when you don’t have it to give, or don’t want to give it.  Because you’re so concerned with what people think, you let people take as much as they want from you in the interest of likability or not offending the person taking your time.

Think about it.  You’re giving away your most valuable gift for FREE.  If you keep doing this, you will end up frustrated and angry with yourself for not putting a stop to this terrible habit now.  When you initially get frustrated with the person wasting your time, you eventually realize it’s your own fault and you wonder why you didn’t put an end to people stealing your time.

WHY IS TIME SO PRECIOUS

Not that this needs much elaborating on, but let’s face it, you only get this one life so from the minute you’re born, you’re living life on a countdown timer.  If you think of an hourglass, as soon as you’re born…hell, as soon as you’re conceived, the sand in the hourglass is only flowing from the bottom to the top.  While you can do certain things to prolong your life, like eating healthy, and staying peaceful, no matter what you do, that time will run out no matter what you do.

Time is so precious because you can literally never replace it.  Ever.  If you crash a car, you can buy a new one.  If your house gets destroyed in a tornado, you can buy a new one.  When you give away your time, it’s never coming back.  Ever.  It is the only irreplaceable commodity on earth.  When you waste time on something, you can’t get it back.  If someone knocks on your door to sell you their religion or to sign you up for a fake after school program, then wants to sit down with you for half an hour to discuss it even though you already know your answer is a resolute NO, you can’t later rewind the clock and get that person to give you your time back.

I actually think time is even more precious for a couple of additional reasons beyond the simple fact that it is irreplaceable.

You don’t know how much time you had.  If you died tomorrow, but then at the gates of heaven were given the chance to have one more day on earth, can you imagine what that day would look like?  Would it start with a Big Mac and large fries at McDonald’s, and end like a scene out of the movie The Hangover, when they went to the red light district in Bangkok?  No, not that part where Stu realized he had made love with a ladyboy….

What would be all of those crazy things you would do and how would you maximize your ti...

What’s the one most valuable thing you have and can never replace, that you paid nothing for, protect the least, but let people take from you for free even when you don’t want to give it away? TIME. We spend so much of our lives accumulating assets, material things, whether that includes your latest electronic … Continue reading Time Is Your Most Valuable Asset | Guard It Ruthlessly →

Have you heard the story about the frog that died in a pot of boiling water?  He was alive when someone put him into a nice cool pot of water.  That person then put the pot on the stove, reassuring the frog that everything was going to be okay.  The frog trusted the person and didn’t think much of what was going on.  When the person turned on the stove, the frog didn’t notice much difference in the water’s temperature until it was too late and he had boiled to death.

What had happened?  Apparently with small adjustments in temperature, as the water got hotter and hotter, it got so hot it began boiling.  Because of the frog’s ability to adapt, it did not realize that the water go to such a hot temperature that the water’s temperature became unsurvivable.  The frog died from the heat even though it could have jumped out of the pot at any time and saved itself.

You’re the frog and the water represents the stress in your life.  Much like the frog, as humans, we are good at adapting to our changing environment.  What inevitably happens though as we get older and have more responsibilities, is that the pot of water we are in called “life”, can become increasingly pressured, and hot like the water.  Since it can happen gradually over a period of months and years, we simply take on more and more, thinking we can and are handling everything okay.  Until one day we wake up dead at the ripe young age of 50 because of a heart attack from all of the stress we put our bodies through.  Does this sound like you?

Today I want to talk to you about how to figure out if you’re under so much pressure in your life that you’re headed down a path of self-destruction, whether you realize it or not.  Today I want you to start examining your life as a pot of water and my goal is for you to pay attention to whether or not the water in your life is close to a boiling point without you even realizing it.  If you’re alive, which you are if you’re listening/reading to this, it is not too late to make changes to save yourself from yourself.  I still opine that stress is the number one killer of humans here in the western hemisphere and I believe being vigilant over our stress levels is even more important than being vigilant over our diet.

Without further ado, let’s see how hot the water is in your life before it’s too late.

PHYSICAL CHANGES

Your body is always trying to speak to you.  If you’re not attuned to your body you will miss the subtle, and then later, not so subtle cues your body is giving you.  The more stressed you are the more you will find your body changing until the effects are irreversible or have manifested in illnesses you can’t cure.

Skin and Hair

While you may not think you’re overly stressed, you may in fact be overly stressed if you find your body giving you subtle hints.  Subtle hints include things like your skin condition.  Do you find yourself getting pimples or other forms of acne even though you’re way out of your adolescent years?  Don’t ignore this.  Stress can trigger the right chemicals in your body which can cause acne regardless of your age.  If you think they are just temporary hormonal changes that will go away, while that may be true in certain instances, don’t overlook them by assuming it is that.  In fact, take a look at what is going on in your life or what started to go on before the acne flared up.  If you can identify something that triggered it, that thing is probably something stress related and you need to get rid of it!

I had a friend who had acne as a kid (join the club)!  It went away when he was about 19 years ago.  Fast forward twenty years later, at the ripe age of 39, he started getting acne again!  He was exercising regularly and also kept a very healthy diet free of fried foods and sugar.  Yet, there it was - big pimples popping up on his face.  He, like me,

In society these days we are obsessed with perfectionism.  We either seek it in ourselves, but more often, we seek it in others.  This usually extends beyond just other people, but reaches into the products we buy and the things we do.  Ultimately, we end up pursuing things that don’t exist - illusions.  Things can always be better, and people can always be smarter and better looking.  You may think this episode is about letting go of perfection.  You would be wrong!  Today’s episode is actually endorsing the pursuit of perfection, but pursuit of perfection within ourselves, and within the confines of our own limits. 

Yes yes, I know we always preach about being limitless, but hear me out so you can understand the context of what I mean by “limits”.  

Too many of us, especially in the dating world, look at others that they perceive to be better looking, more educated, taller, or whatever, and think because they themselves lack those certain traits, that they operate at a disadvantage.  For example, if your version of a 10 out of 10 person is a 6’ 2” tall, handsome neurosurgeon, and yet you are shorter, chubbier, and less educated, you will perceive yourself to be less than a perfect 10 and feel inferior.  Similarly, by deifying certain characteristics that you specifically cannot or will never possess, you will walk around always feeling less, putting yourself at a disadvantage, and ultimately you will exude these feelings, thereby amplifying your low self-esteem and lack of confidence.  It becomes a downward spiral because you are what you think you are, and people look at you the same way you look at yourself.  If you think less of yourself then others will think less of you.

The best example I hear is when guys describe a girl as being flawless, the epitome of perfection and that she’s a perfect ten so will only date a guy that’s a ten as well.  They then cry me a river about how a girl like that wouldn’t date them, despite the fact that the guy themself has three university degrees from top schools, is super-intelligent, comes from a good home and has a great personality.  They fail to see that the real catch is staring at them in the mirror.

I’m here to tell you that you can be a ten, no matter what you currently think of yourself.  And the way to do this is to take what you are and make it the best of what you are.  Stop dwelling on what you don’t have and what other people have.  

Here is how to elevate yourself to being a perfect ten and attract the person you want, the job you want, and the life you want.

INSTRUCTIONS FOR THE PURSUIT OF PERFECTION

1.  Work with and improve what you got.   

Face:

When I say make yourself your own perfect ten then that’s exactly what I mean.  Let’s say that you think your appearance is ugly.  Don’t accept that as your narrative.  Do something about it and make what you have as good as it possibly can, so even if you perceive yourself to be less attractive than others, and in your own mind a 5 out of 10 (I’m only using this 10 scale for narrative purposes btw), make yourself the best 5 imaginable.  

If you don’t like your appearance do something about it.  Now don’t get ahead of me - I’m not suggesting to go out and get plastic surgery, fill your lips with fat so you look like a duck, and get so much botox that your eyebrows blink every time you open and close your eyes.  What I am saying is work with what you have.  There are many things you can do.  Get a hairstyle that flatters your face.  Groom yourself.  Pluck those hairs from your ears as well as the ones sticking out of your nose.  Shave - and yes that goes for you girls and guys!  If you have blemishes like acne, there are lots of options to treat your pimples and clear up your face.  The point is - take care of your face as it’s the first thing people look at!

In society these days we are obsessed with perfectionism.  We either seek it in ourselves, but more often, we seek it in others.  This usually extends beyond just other people, but reaches into the products we buy and the things we do.  Ultimately, we end up pursuing things that don’t exist – illusions.  Things can … Continue reading How To Be More Attractive To Everyone | Be Your Own Perfect Ten →

Are you affected by other people’s emotions?  Do you find yourself feeling tired and drained after speaking to certain people?  You might be an empath.  If you’re a highly sensitive person, then you are very attuned to the energy from other people.  You have to be careful with this gift as the wrong people may know this about you and take advantage by trying to give you their negative energy so you can suffer for them.  We will discuss how to identify yourself as an empath, and steps you can take to protect yourself from negative people who target you for your gifts.

Did you ever ask yourself why you’ve ever suffered despite having done everything right?  After having an ultra-stressful week thanks to certain bottom-feeding scumbags that I had mistakenly allowed into my business circle, I had an epiphany that I would like to share with you.  Fortunately it only took me three decades to get to this conclusion, but it’s an important one.  If you’ve been experiencing any suffering whatsoever, I urge you to read on so that you can start feeling good again, take control of your feelings, and live an amazing life free from pain.

I’ll start with my own story.  Generally, I’ve always done things right in life.  I was born with intelligence and logic.  In addition to that, I spent years in school, always at the top of my class, never getting into trouble.  I always follow the law, have never been charged with a crime, and have never even received a speeding ticket in my entire life.  Financially, I am very conservative with my money and save well.  On the health side, I exercise regularly, and eat an ultra-clean diet, low in meats yet high in proteins and necessary nutrients – I have a clean bill of health.  I’m close with my parents and have a group of amazing friends.  

Despite all of this, I have found that there has been suffering in my life.  When I say “suffering”, I’m referring to any pain, anguish or stress – basically any negative feelings – that I have felt.  I realized there was a clear disconnect as this equation didn’t make sense.  It didn’t make sense that I experienced suffering when I was doing everything “right”.  I had to get to the bottom of this conundrum.

Don’t get me wrong.  My life is amazing and always has been.  I’m certainly not here to paint a bleak picture – I’ve travelled the world, was raised very well, and have lived a privileged life.  More importantly, I’ve never been one to live a “glass half-empty” kind of life, ever.  When things have gone wrong, I’ve always blamed myself because at the end of the day, even if someone else screws me over, my thought process is that it was my fault for letting them do so in the first place.  But wanting more answers, I decided to figure out what exactly was the problem, so that I could find a solution and live an even better life.  Enough was enough.   

PROBLEM

I found the problem right away:  I was suffering because of other people and for other people.  

Blame-game time.   Rarely, almost never in fact, was I feeling pain because of my own unilateral actions.  As a child, my suffering was caused by bullies at school who belittled me because of my skin color.  At home, I suffered without even realizing it, as I had a family member that experienced depression for years.  Even though the bullying ended around the age of eight, there was still pain thanks to the household situation.  In latter years, a crazy girlfriend with her own issues would cause suffering.  Now, as an attorney, I unfortunately found suffering all around me on a daily basis with overbearing clients trying to impose their poor life decisions on me not by simply hiring me to do legal work, but  by wanting me to emotionally share in their grief.  The final straw most recently was another attorney (not sure how he even has a license given his stupidity) who has spent his life making mistakes and yet blaming everyone else for his own incompetency and failures, desperately trying to draw innocent bystanders into his internal chaos.  I call him “Mr. It’s Not My Fault”.

For someone like me who is hyper-sensitive to people’s energies, these things are so emotionally draining and painful, that I found myself experiencing some form of suffering on a regular basis.  Because it happened so gradually, I never took an opportunity to realize what was going on.  As we adapt, feeling these negative emotions just became part of the job, or part of life, and I accepted it.

Maintaining happiness is like doing gardening. You can’t sit back when you’re happy and expect to always stay that way. It takes work! Spring Cleaning is about reviewing your life and clearing out the clutter every year. I’m not just referring to the clutter on junk in your house. In fact, this episode is about how you should review the people in your life and see if they serve any purpose. Check out todays episode for instructions on how to protect yourself from toxic people so your happiness can flourish!

Maintaining happiness is like doing gardening. You can’t sit back when you’re happy and expect to always stay that way. It takes work! Spring Cleaning is about reviewing your life and clearing out the clutter every year. I’m not just referring to the clutter on junk in your house. In fact, this episode is about how you should review the people in your life and see if they serve any purpose. Check out todays episode for instructions on how to protect yourself from toxic people so your happiness can flourish!

Do you want to live a flexible life but still get the bills paid? On my latest episode I discuss how you can live what I call a “modular lifestyle” where you earn income on your terms when you want, so you can have more control of your time. By driving for Uber, freelancing on Fiverr, or renting out to AirBnb, you can make income without having to commit to one single job.

Life isn’t lived by working from 9 to 5 behind a desk, staring at a computer screen. Live cheap, travel cheap, enjoy life!