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The Ex of Ghostings Past | The Advisory Ep.17
The Advisory is a weekly advice podcast where we answer the web's worst questions and scratch around what it means to be a human being as the internet gets stranger, reality grows thinner and it constantly feels like the end.
This episode was streamed on 03.11.22 @ https://www.twitch.tv/blackswansociety
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This week's feature question on The Advisory:
I was hoping you would be able to help me with a conundrum I got myself into.
I have been an expat since graduating and have been moving a lot. More than a decade ago, when I was still young, I was in a relationship with a woman, Sylvia, in a country where we both lived. Sylvia wanted to settle down but I was not ready to commit so young. We clearly had different expectations from the relationship. I did not know what to do and, well, I ghosted her. Over the Christmas break, while she was visiting her family, I simply moved out and left the country. I took advantage of the fact that I accepted a job in other country and did not tell her about it. I simply wanted to avoid being untangled in a break-up drama. Sylvia was rather emotional and became obsessed with the relationship, tracking me down, even causing various scenes with my parents and friends.
Anyhow, fast forward to now. I now work as a math teacher in an international school. I have been in other relationships since, so Sylvia is a sort of forgotten history. Sadly, till now. This week, I learnt that our fantastic school director suddenly resigned due to a serious family situation and had to move back to her home country over the summer. The school had to replace her. We are getting a new director. I read the bio of the new boss and googled her and was shocked to discover it is Sylvia. We have not been in touch and do not have any mutual friends anymore. I am not a big fan of social media and had no idea what she had been up to since the unpleasant situation a long time ago.
I have no idea what to do and how to deal with this mess. It is clear this will be not only embarassing but I will also be reporting to my ex. I am not in a position to find another job at present. There are no other international schools so finding another job in this country is not an option. Even finding a job elsewhere is not possible on such a short notice. These jobs usually open for school terms so I have to stay put for few months. But more importantly, I am happy and settled here so do not want to move. To make the situation worse, the expat community here is very small and tightly knit so teachers also socialize a lot.
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If you have a question, send us an email at [email protected] or find us on the socials below.
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@blackswansociety
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@blkswansociety
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/blkswansociety/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/blkswansociety
View all episodes
By The AdvisoryThe Advisory is a weekly advice podcast where we answer the web's worst questions and scratch around what it means to be a human being as the internet gets stranger, reality grows thinner and it constantly feels like the end.
This episode was streamed on 03.11.22 @ https://www.twitch.tv/blackswansociety
---
---
This week's feature question on The Advisory:
I was hoping you would be able to help me with a conundrum I got myself into.
I have been an expat since graduating and have been moving a lot. More than a decade ago, when I was still young, I was in a relationship with a woman, Sylvia, in a country where we both lived. Sylvia wanted to settle down but I was not ready to commit so young. We clearly had different expectations from the relationship. I did not know what to do and, well, I ghosted her. Over the Christmas break, while she was visiting her family, I simply moved out and left the country. I took advantage of the fact that I accepted a job in other country and did not tell her about it. I simply wanted to avoid being untangled in a break-up drama. Sylvia was rather emotional and became obsessed with the relationship, tracking me down, even causing various scenes with my parents and friends.
Anyhow, fast forward to now. I now work as a math teacher in an international school. I have been in other relationships since, so Sylvia is a sort of forgotten history. Sadly, till now. This week, I learnt that our fantastic school director suddenly resigned due to a serious family situation and had to move back to her home country over the summer. The school had to replace her. We are getting a new director. I read the bio of the new boss and googled her and was shocked to discover it is Sylvia. We have not been in touch and do not have any mutual friends anymore. I am not a big fan of social media and had no idea what she had been up to since the unpleasant situation a long time ago.
I have no idea what to do and how to deal with this mess. It is clear this will be not only embarassing but I will also be reporting to my ex. I am not in a position to find another job at present. There are no other international schools so finding another job in this country is not an option. Even finding a job elsewhere is not possible on such a short notice. These jobs usually open for school terms so I have to stay put for few months. But more importantly, I am happy and settled here so do not want to move. To make the situation worse, the expat community here is very small and tightly knit so teachers also socialize a lot.
---
If you have a question, send us an email at [email protected] or find us on the socials below.
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@blackswansociety
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@blkswansociety
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/blkswansociety/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/blkswansociety