The Family Culture Movement (Archive)

Jeanie Cisco-Meth returns to the podcast with another great conversation! Jeanie has written two best selling books despite being told in elementary school I was too stupid to make it. She was in the Army and the first female to make the Ranger Challenge team in Utah. She loves her life everyday.

Her book, Bully Proofing You: Taming the Bully Between Your Ears is in the education business helping people through our presentations, workshops, best-selling books, and mentoring is a reminder that it's not about you. It's about the pain others are facing. They feel depressed and anxious and they can't stand it if you don't feel the same way. When you remember they are in pain, you can let their cutting comments go.

Jeanie recalls being bullied. She saw my children bullied. She was a high school teacher for 17 years and had to do something to make a difference. In our interview she also recalls being the difference when she was the first woman in her family to stand up for herself. She feels she was born to break the cycle of manipulation in her family.

Learn more about Jeanie at https://www.linkedin.com/in/jeanieciscometh/

https://www.facebook.com/officialjeanieciscometh

https://www.instagram.com/ciscometh/

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCT6N7IkrbONsbaqs3ELe5fg

Evette Davis is a parenting expert, author, and huge advocate of traditional family values. Evette joins us from Washington, DC where she raised 3 kids, taking them from public schools to American’s top universities. Today she talks to us about parenting as a single mother and her new book set, “The Adventures of Sunny” and how reading to your kids can help prepare them for college.

During a time of setback in Evette's life, she turned her situation around and became an entrepreneur. Evette is now a children's author, with 5 published books, a YouTube channel, and more books on the way.

Evette and I talked about how children are exposed to too much negative media. Movies and vision programming are everywhere. Unfortunately, most of it is not happy, wholesome, and healthy for young minds. So much of our media today is full of profanity, fear, shock, murder, and general negativity. Further, explicit sexual content is everywhere, from advertisements to billboards...it's almost ubiquitous. Keeping healthy images and positive media in front of our kids can be an uphill battle.

Kids are like sponges, they absorb their environment. If they grow up watching shows filled with dysfunction, they will see this as normal. This will definitely impact how they behave.

Connect with Evette:

www.dymondjewel.com/books

https://tinyurl.com/Storytime-w-Ms-Dymond

After going from a strong, moral upbringing in Southern Oklahoma to a drug-related downfall that had me facing federal prison, Robert Newman understands what those who are addicted feel and think. That’s what enables him to cut through the resistance and manipulative tactics of an addicted person and help them choose life and recovery.

In the eighteen years since Robert completed a long-term drug rehabilitation program, he has educated more than a hundred thousand youth on the dangers of drug abuse and helped thousands of people with drug or alcohol rehabilitation. Many of those he helped with their addictions as a substance abuse counselor, now many more as a drug intervention specialist.

Now, Robert's focus is on doing interventions that turn situations from tragic to hopeful. When he walks into a room full of family who have asked for help, he knows exactly how to cut through the emotion and confusion and establish ground rules to make the intervention a success. A successful intervention is so much about preparation. Robert will work with the family to ensure they have chosen a good rehab and cut off all avenues of evasion so their loved one has only one choice ahead of them — start rehab right now.

Robert Newman helps families and save lives by helping addicts in need find good treatment programs and families with loved ones suffering with addiction get into treatment.

In this episode, Robert and I talk about breaking the cycle of addiction, supporting family members in intervention and recovery, and how to foster a culture of preventing drug addiction.

Connect with Robert at https://www.newmaninterventions.com/

Robert is sharing his 25 Tips for Successful Intervention for the Family Leadership Toolbox. I will put it in the Toolbox under Mental Health!

Go to https://bit.ly/FamilyCultureLeadership to log in.

Whitney Bean is a wellness and life coach. Her business is to help moms to find balance and to listen to their natural instincts and experiences in order to then show up as the most authentic and genuine version of themselves. She passionately believes that they can then in turn utilize those tools and skills to create an intentional home that can also find balance, peace, and flow.

A mom of 4 kids ages 1-10, Whitney loves to dig into the messy, stressful, and dramatic areas of her client's lives so that she can help them to organize, evaluate, and find balance from the inside out. Whitney is passionate about building a home-based intentional, natural, and practical principles that bring peace, unity, and balance.

Whitney and I talked about how she thinks the concept of "hard work" in order to get what you want is something that is culturally stuck.

When we work with our natural capability to feel and experience and blossom as individuals, creating amazing outcomes and results is a wonderful side effect. You can push through and work like crazy to get there, but if you check in and come from a place of balance, you'll get there as a genuine and natural bi-product of living an intentional life.

A suggested solution to counteract the over-emphasis on pushing hard work is setting up systems that will regularly check in with each member of the family and help the family to feel like a supported family unit. Each member is responsible for their emotions, actions, and interactions. When the home acts as its own organism, that overall balance will create flow and help the family to achieve goals and outcomes that they might have otherwise pushed to get done. For example, growing a garden as a family--you could push each family member to get garden chores done, or you could spend time together in the garden where naturally pulling weeds and checking on the plants is a comfortable and fun time together.

As moms learn to check in regularly and allow space to feel and respond, they're genuine and connected. They're at peace in the present moment and there's no better gift that you can give your kids day to day than them seeing you self-care easily and be with them.

After a health crisis in her 20s, Whitney started learning to look inward for solutions. For two years she searched for solutions outward through medications and testing. When that didn't work she started leaning toward holistic remedies. This is the approach Whitney takes with her wellness clients. She helps you connect inward to create your solutions.

Whitney has provided a freebie inside of the Family Leadership Toolbox which you can access by logging in at https://bit.ly/FamilyCultureLeadership. Her freebie is a "Restoring Balance" download to help you define what balance looks like in four areas of your life.

To connect with Whitney, go to www.whitneybean.com

Dr. Shefali was 44 years old when she had an epiphany: the only person stopping her from harnessing her inner power was herself. She says, “I truly believe that there comes a critical moment in a woman’s life – typically around mid-life – where she faces a pivotal choice. I certainly came to that moment in my own life: either I continued being inauthentic to myself and stayed encaged in fear OR I stepped into a new dimension where I was fully, consciously, my true self.”

Coming to a critical juncture in her own life, she had no choice but to walk away from the past. Dr. Shefali let go of her unhappiness, her ego, and discovered a profound freedom and purpose. Her moment of radical awakening led to the birth of a new self. What she experienced in her own journey, Dr. Shefali realized was readily available to all women.

Featured prominently on Oprah Winfrey's platforms, Good Morning America, the Today Show, Hoda & Jenna, among many others…. Dr. Shefali is a The New York Times bestselling author and renowned clinical psychologist teaching women how to transcend their fears and illusions, breaking free from societal expectations, and rediscovering the person they were always meant to be: fully present, conscious, and fulfilled.

According to Oprah Winfrey – “The world needs to know. Trailblazing. Life-enhancing. [A Radical Awakening is] one of those books you will want to keep on your nightstand.”

DR. SHEFALI received her doctorate in clinical psychology from Columbia University. Specializing in the integration of Western psychology and Eastern philosophy, she brings together the best of both worlds for her clients. She is an expert in family dynamics and personal development, teaching courses around the globe. Dr. Shefali has written four books, including the award-winning, New York Times bestsellers The Conscious Parent and The Awakened Family. She's been featured prominently on Oprah Winfrey's platforms, Good Morning America, the Today Show, Hoda & Jenna, among many others. Dr. Shefali lives in New York City. More at: www.aradicalawakening.com

Dr. Shefali is a prominent clinical psychologist who received her doctorate from Columbia University. She specializes in the integration of Eastern philosophy and Western psychology, making her an expert in her field.

Dr. Shefali and I talked about her new book and the shift away from external validation as the norm in our culture. To be more authentic means to be self-aware and know your intrinsic value.

What is up, family culture hackers?! Welcome to the movement to revolutionize your family culture - a movement to shift away from the norms and values established by a society and a history saddled in a narrative of vanity, fear, scarcity, lack, prejudice, consumerism, inauthenticity, and contempt. These prevailing and pervasive beliefs are everywhere and most of us know it but we don’t really know what to do about it! 

I started learning about these dysfunctional beliefs when my life started going off the rails in 2016 (well, it started a lot sooner than that, but we’ll get into that later)! My husband, Michael, was miserable at his job. He hadn’t been able to find work in line with his goals so he found whatever he could and then found himself underemployed and unappreciated. We started having serious money problems, and soon found ourselves spiraling into serious depression. Without even realizing it, we were playing out a scripted narrative based in a patriarchal belief system. More than this, we were playing out a narrative of scarcity and lack, and fear and inauthenticity that had been inadvertently passed on to us from previous generations that have been deeply ingrained in our family and societal belief systems. We had roles to play, images to uphold, and duties to perform. We did everything right, and should have been on the right track. We kept our struggles at the surface in an effort to superficially resolve our problems with linear thinking to keep up the status quo. This status quo meant keeping up appearances and playing out the script for the foreseeable future. Then, we began to crack. The vision of being stuck like this forever was deeply depressing. There was no end and no escape. In 2019, we’d had enough. Michael quit his job. We sold our house. We moved in with my parents to reduce our expenses. We filed bankruptcy in 2020, and faced all our demons. All of them. 

If you are dying to make a change in your life somehow but you are feeling stuck, it is not your fault! These dominant belief systems often live just beneath the surface of your consciousness and you live out your day to day reacting to these beliefs. They have been passed on to you by society and family - sometimes even written into your DNA, so how could you know about it?! 

Family culture hacking is all about learning how to recognize these dysfunctional belief systems and stopping them in their tracks! Whenever you spot one, you’ll be able to say, “ah ha! Caught you!” Like a glitch in the Matrix. You’ll start to see them lurking everywhere - in your thoughts and language; in media, music, and marketing; in education; in government and politics; and even in your daily habits!

There are three major players in the belief systems you pick up that influence your family culture the most. Author James Clear refers to these players as “the close,” “the many,” and “the powerful.” The close refers to your family and your community. The many refers to society at large and the commonly accepted narratives and norms you witness in the media and marketing. The powerful refers to the influencers, the leaders, and the game-changers throughout history who set the cultural expectations of your beliefs and identities. 

If you aren't aware, these three players can keep us stuck in a cultural identity that influences your thoughts, behaviors, and patterns. Because of the way humans are wired, we don’t want to be different. We learn early on how to fit in so we don’t get into trouble, or we learn when to stand out when we want to get what we want! We pick up beliefs about who we are to explain to ourselves how the world works and where we fit into the grand scheme of things. 

It’s likely you have learned to be comfortable with those beliefs because they have protected you and have provided you with your basic human needs. They have shaped your identity and perhaps have gotten you through some seriously troubling situations. But then, you find yourself raising a family of your own, and those beliefs are starting to get a little confusing or weird. No one really talked much about how difficult this family thing would be. The patterns that got you out of trouble are getting you into trouble and you’re fighting more with your spouse or your child. The ones that helped you get your needs met are starting to look more like manipulation and power struggles! You start to notice yourself repeating the same patterns of your parents. You hear your mom’s or your dad’s voice coming out of your own mouth, and that scares you! 

The thing about family culture and our human nature is that we like to take the path of least resistance. We set our lives on autopilot and try to stay within our comfort zones. When we get stuck or scared, it’s common to revert back to comfortable patterns or follow the crowd. The problem with this approach is that your old patterns are keeping you in a crisis loop where you don’t get ahead of the struggle, you just keep repeating the same day putting out fires as you go. Or, the crowd you’re following doesn’t actually know where they are going either! You tell yourself that you turned out OK in spite of your somewhat dysfunctional family, and you’re right, there’s a huge margin of error when it comes to raising your kids. 

But for culture hackers, that’s not good enough! You spot dysfunctional narratives whether they’re coming from the close, the many, or the powerful and you call it out and demand better. You catch yourself in your patterns when you’re coasting through life a little too casually and wake up to learn a better way. You learn to parent yourself recognizing that there are many skills you haven’t learned along the way because there was no one there to teach you those skills! How could they when they didn’t have them either?! 

Every week, I’ll be interviewing authors and experts who have spotted dysfunctional patterns in our dominant culture. We’ll unpack these beliefs and behaviors for you to analyze why we tend to repeat them even though we know they aren’t OK. Then, we’ll discuss solutions and behaviors to replace the dysfunctional ones so you can start practicing them. 

The goal of being a family culture hacker is to learn how to envision something better for you and your family, your community and the world, and start playing out a different role and writing a new script for yourself. Not only will you begin to have a better sense of direction and confidence in your parenting, you’ll also learn to avoid conflicts before they arise, shift your own beliefs to have a stronger sense of identity and purpose, and cultivate a new legacy for your kids to grow up with healthier role models. It might mean facing some ugly demons along the way but I promise you it is worth it!

I also promise that you don’t have to do it alone. I will be here every step of the way as your mentor and guide. You can sign up for a free family culture strategy session with me at https://jodichaffee.com/strategy or go to homeandfamilyculture.com and click on “message me” to ask me a question and I’ll publish my answer in an episode and tag you on social media. 

Also, you can join other family culture hackers in our Facebook group or join the free membership, a toolbox full of curated freebies and gifts from my guests! 

Mother Teresa said “if you want to change the world, go home and love your family.” Family culture hackers, we change the world because we are part of a movement where we put our families first. We don’t accept the norms or systems of our dysfunctional society. We are a force for good and growth, and progress and change through compassion, collaboration, and perseverance. 

Former NBC News Anchor Sherrie Dunlevy served the Wheeling, WV area for nearly 30 years both on television and radio.

Today she is a best selling author, Inspirational speaker, Graduating Grief coach and podcast host.

Her Number one best selling book “How Can I Help?” was written to help people know exactly what to say and do when the people they love and care about are hurting.

Sherrie helps women step out of their pain and provides them with support, encouragement and tools to step back into LIVING their lives on purposes and with passion and joy.

Sherrie is a #1 best selling author and the creator of the Graduating Grief Community and Podcast.

In this episode Sherrie and I discuss why grief is such a taboo topic, and one many people avoid talking about if they can. However, this attitude does not lead to connection nor to healing. Not talking about it also perpetuates this fear of talking about it. 

Grief is one of those difficult things that everyone experiences differently. Sherrie and I discuss how you can open up about your grief or support someone you care about through their grief. 

In a time when so many people are learning to suffer through their grief, all of us can do better to support a culture where grief is a natural part of growing together, not apart.

Connect with Sherrie and tune into her podcast at www.sherriedunlevy.com, and www.graduatinggrief.com.

Get more resources for your intentional family culture by joining the Family Success Toolbox at  www.homeandfamilyculture.com or Text CULTURE to (917) 905-8801.

Christine Owens is a mother of four children from ages 6 -16 and has homeschooled for 10 years in five states. She has 14 years experience in various facets of public education. She has traveled to 20 countries , and over 1/2 of the united states. Her family loves to travel and loves traveling to learn. She loves chocolate, old books and hippos. 

Christine creates homeschooling resources to help parents learn through classic literature. This would include unit studies based on classic literature and soon to include resources on poetry. She has also written two books: Relaxed Homeschooling: Unlocking the Secrets of books and life to help people find a new way to see homeschooling; and A Year of Poetry Tea Time: The Essential Guide to Everything Poetry and Tea, a collection of poetry and so much more. 

Christine and I discussed a dysfunction in our society that children have to learn certain things by a certain age and that ages need to be taught separately. The reality is parents need to realize that schools are designed for the masses. They are not there to accommodate and one child's special interests. If a child is aloud to learn about things that interest them, that they are curious about their level of retention is improved greatly. Letting children learn through curiosity not only increases their retention but also leads to a love for learning. When children fall in love of learning they are also more willing to learn new things. Not only that, but children are very capable of learning, understanding, and discussing things that are considered "to advanced" for them. This is why I started to read poetry and unabridged classics to my children at a young age. 

Whether they are homeschooled or public schooled parents can benefit from knowing this information. Parents need to know that even though their children may be attending classes at a school that ultimately it is the parents responsibility to make sure their children receive the education they want them to have. This can include taking action and reading classic literature to children at night, Playing fun trivia games during dinner, teaching adult skills like cooking, finances, and serving others. 

The very first classic Christine read to her children was Howard Pyle's Robin Hood. "At first I thought I had lost my mind. Not only was the book in an old english but I had to read it. I had to stop and explain what was happening every sentence. I was wanting to just throw in the towel but at the same time I refused. After a while I got better at reading and I was explaining things every paragraph and then once on a page. To my astonishment, my tiny 4 and 6 year old were starting to understand the book and by half way through I was nearly having to explain anything any more. They were laughing at the jokes and cheering on the characters. This made me realize that it did not have to worry so much about what topics we learned about but just how we experienced it. Since then we have read many books, read poetry, learned about philosophers, history and anything else that struck us as interesting."

Your child's education happens everywhere. Parents can and should lead out in discussions, read aloud to their children of all ages, and encourage their children to develop their learning skills.

Learn more about Christine by going to www.littlerabbittrails.com/

Get more resources for your intentional family culture by joining the Family Success Toolbox at www.homeandfamilyculture.com or Text CULTURE to (917) 905-8801.

Sandra Etherington is a mom of a 5 year old and an 8 year old. She is the owner of Family Personalities and the co-host of the Family Personalities podcast, a fun and sometimes cheesy podcast, that uses personality type to help change the way you see your family. Sandra uses her experience and training in Myers-Briggs personality type, to work one on one with families, helping them parent more effectively and peacefully based on their children's unique wiring and needs. 

Sandra works with families and personality type. Specifically, she uses the Myers-Briggs personality type model to change the way parents relate to themselves and their children. When you understand your children's personality types, you can better honor their needs and help them grow up happy and fulfilled. When you understand your own personality type and that of our parenting partner, we can communicate and work better together to improve the overall family dynamic.

There is a favoring of extraversion in our dominant culture despite the fact that there are slightly more people who prefer introversion in the world. Sandra and I go into this facet in our children and how kids who prefer introversion have differing needs from those who prefer extraversion. 

Sandra goes into understanding the brain mechanisms behind introversion/extraversion and how to work specific tips into your parenting for your Introversion kiddos (and some for your extraversion kiddos too!)

When you expect your children to operate in their less comfortable way (i.e. expecting a child who prefers Introversion to act more like an extravert) you are causing them chronic stress. Understanding that your children need to fill their buckets by operating in their preferred way before they can stretch and grow is an important aspect of what Sandra does when she works with type & families. 

Learn more about Sandra's work by heading over to her website at www.familypersonalities.com

Get more resources for your intentional family culture by joining the Family Success Toolbox at www.homeandfamilyculture.com or Text CULTURE to (917) 905-8801.

Tracy Nolin Beerman helps moms regain control of their lives, get their joy back and create work/life harmony. She helps them create a life vision by deciding what they want in their lives - what's most important in their health, relationships, vocation, experiences and home life, align their thoughts and actions with their visions and take the steps to become the women in their visions. 

In this interview, Tracy and I talked about how BUSY is the badge of honor for mothers and overwhelm is a way of life in many homes. It leads to disconnection, exhaustion and burnout. It's an antiquated way of being in families.

So, what is the cure? Clarity. 

Tune in for this episode with Tracy and learn how your family culture is a guiding light for your peaceful life.

Learn more about Tracy: www.visiondrivenmompodcast.com

Get more resources for your intentional family culture by joining the Family Success Toolbox at www.homeandfamilyculture.com or Text CULTURE to (917) 905-8801.