Content Warning: This episode contains conversations about various forms of sexual assault and violence. Please prioritise your well-being and listen with care. If you need to, feel free to skip this episode.

In this episode, Alice Mills Mai helps us understand the sexual trauma often faced by same-sex violence survivors. She defines what intimate partner violence can look like and speaks to the reality that healing and trauma recovery don't look the same for every survivor. Society and authorities lessen the severity of these charges because "it was just a woman." Yet bodies only remember the sexual violence exerted on them, not the gender of the perpetrator. This problem exists because the legal definition of rape or sexual assault is penetration-centred, ignoring non-consensual acts such as touching, coercion, and the violation of boundaries within BDSM dynamics.

Dr. Alice brings a key perspective on validating survivors' experiences, especially when their trauma is dismissed because the perpetrator was another woman. The discussion sheds light on the barriers faced by marginalised groups, including Black women, masculine-presenting lesbians, and fat women, who are often not believed by law enforcement or their own communities.

Please help us reach more women discovering their sexuality, healing from sexual trauma, and learning to love their bodies beyond society's beauty standards. Rate or follow The Fat and Horny Podcast on Spotify, Afripods or Apple Podcasts. It helps others find us, and we would love to have them in this community.

More from us:

Subscribe to the Young & Oversharing Newsletter

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Support the podcast:

If you want to hear more conversations like this, please support the podcast by buying us a coffee. Every dime and dollar counts when it comes to women's pleasure. Buy us a coffee: https://buymeacoffee.com/foryoungwomen  

Be a guest:

If you are an expert in sex, sexuality, or sexual health, or you have a personal experience that taught you how to heal or reclaim your pleasure, we would love to have you on the show. Please send your pitch to [email protected].

Sponsored by Content Is Queen.

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Keywords: sexual violence, sexual assault, sexual trauma, consent, LGBTQIA+, body image, sex and sexuality, trauma healing, Dr Alice The Trauma Therapist,

Content Warning: This episode contains discussions of child sexual abuse. Please prioritise your well-being and listen with care. If you need to, feel free to skip this episode.

How do you reclaim your body and find pleasure after sexual trauma? In this conversation, we speak with Amanda Tayte-Tait, a survivor of child sexual abuse that began when she was just six years old. Amanda shares her journey of healing from the sexual shame, numbness, and societal silence surrounding abuse, highlighting the harm behind purity culture and how it inhibits healing and self-forgiveness.

She helps us understand what it took for her to understand the power of consent, communicate her sexual boundaries, and reconnect her body to sex and pleasure after years of living with sexual trauma. We also discuss the powerful message behind her book, At What Age Does My Body Belong to Me?

Please help us reach more women discovering their sexuality, healing from sexual trauma, and learning to love their bodies beyond society's beauty standards. Rate or follow The Fat and Horny Podcast on Spotify, Afripods or Apple Podcasts. It helps others find us, and we would love to have them in this community.

More from us:

Subscribe to the Young & Oversharing Newsletter

Follow us on TikTok: @youngandoversharing

Support the podcast:

If you want to hear more conversations like this, please support the podcast by buying us a coffee. Every dime and dollar counts when it comes to women's pleasure. Buy us a coffee: https://buymeacoffee.com/foryoungwomen  

Be a guest:

If you are an expert in sex, sexuality, or sexual health, or you have a personal experience that taught you how to heal or reclaim your pleasure, we would love to have you on the show. Please send your pitch to [email protected].

Sponsored by Content Is Queen.

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Keywords: child sexual abuse, sexual trauma, sexual assault, rape, sexual violence, sex and sexuality, trauma healing, hypersexuality, sexual shame, pleasure

What if your sexual wellness and pleasure weren't just a personal goal, but a power you were always meant to claim?

In this episode, holistic sexologist and intimacy coach Dawryn Nyiramugisha explores the revolutionary idea that fat women have an erotic birthright, and she takes us back into African culture to prove it. She dismantles the colonial myths and shame that have historically denied this truth, replacing them with a joy-filled roadmap to reclaiming your sensual power.

Dawryn shares how to blend African sensual wisdom with practical tools, techniques to rewire your brain, and how to express your sexual desires, especially in queer relationships confidently. She reminds us of the importance of breathing and staying present during sex. Bonus: She teaches us how to breathe during sex for heightened pleasure.

Please help us reach more women discovering their sexuality, healing from sexual trauma, and learning to love their bodies beyond society's beauty standards. Rate or follow The Fat and Horny Podcast on Spotify, Afripods or Apple Podcasts. It helps others find us, and we would love to have them in this community.

More from us:

Subscribe to the Young & Oversharing Newsletter

Follow us on TikTok: @youngandoversharing

Support the podcast:

If you want to hear more conversations like this, please support the podcast by buying us a coffee. Every dime and dollar counts when it comes to women's pleasure. Buy us a coffee: https://buymeacoffee.com/foryoungwomen  

Be a guest:

If you are an expert in sex, sexuality, or sexual health, or you have a personal experience that taught you how to heal or reclaim your pleasure, we would love to have you on the show. Please send your pitch to [email protected].

Sponsored by Content Is Queen.

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Keywords: decolonising sex, sex and sexuality, body image, beauty standards, sensuality, African culture, intimacy, women's pleasure, sexual wellness

Hookup culture is sold as fun, freeing, and low-pressure. But for women, especially those navigating societal expectations and internalised sexual shame, the reality can be a minefield of ghosting, mixed signals, and shattered confidence.

In this conversation, award-winning therapist and author Dr. Donna Oriowo dismantles hookup culture myths and explores the heart of what sexual liberation truly requires. She asks the tough questions: What are the mental and emotional costs of casual sex? How does being ghosted truly impact self-worth? And is the goal really "hookup culture," or are we just seeking power in a world that tells us our desire for pleasure is wrong?

Dr. Donna challenges listeners to move beyond toxic individualism and see sexual healing as a community project. She helps us understand how to define sexual liberation for yourself, the crucial role of masturbation in self-knowledge, and why the LGBTQIA+ community holds the blueprint for the freedom so many claim to want.

Book recommendations to decolonise your pleasure: Pleasure Activism, Good Sex, and Dr. Donna's Drink Water & Mind Your Business.

Please help us reach more women discovering their sexuality, healing from sexual trauma, and learning to love their bodies beyond society's beauty standards. Rate or follow The Fat and Horny Podcast on Spotify, Afripods or Apple Podcasts. It helps others find us, and we would love to have them in this community.

More from us:

Subscribe to the Young & Oversharing Newsletter

Follow us on TikTok: @youngandoversharing

Support the podcast:

If you want to hear more conversations like this, please support the podcast by buying us a coffee. Every dime and dollar counts when it comes to women's pleasure. Buy us a coffee: https://buymeacoffee.com/foryoungwomen  

Be a guest:

If you are an expert in sex, sexuality, or sexual health, or you have a personal experience that taught you how to heal or reclaim your pleasure, we would love to have you on the show. Please send your pitch to [email protected].

Sponsored by Content is Queen.

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Keywords: sexual liberation, hookup culture, patriarchy, casual sex, pleasure, LGBTQIA+, body image, healing, masturbation, sex and sexuality

Are fat women serving boring sex?

In this episode, a Zimbabwean man talks about the intersections of sex, cultural sexual myths, and body image within the African context. He touches on how young boys are often socialised to view sex as a conquest rather than an emotional connection, leaving women to bear the weight of these expectations.

The guest shares his personal journey of unlearning harmful sexual beliefs and navigating intimacy, from his late sexual debut to discovering the importance of mutual pleasure and communication.

In the conversation, he dispels myths about fat women being "lazy during sex" or sexually undesirable, sharing his positive sexual experiences and highlighting the importance of confidence and adventure in the bedroom, from navigating sex positions to embracing sex toys, offering a fresh male perspective.

Please help us reach more women discovering their sexuality, healing from sexual trauma, and learning to love their bodies beyond society's beauty standards. Rate or follow The Fat and Horny Podcast on Spotify, Afripods or Apple Podcasts. It helps others find us, and we would love to have them in this community.

More from us:

Subscribe to the Young & Oversharing Newsletter

Follow us on TikTok: @youngandoversharing

Support the podcast:

If you want to hear more conversations like this, please support the podcast by buying us a coffee. Every dime and dollar counts when it comes to women's pleasure. Buy us a coffee: https://buymeacoffee.com/foryoungwomen  

Be a guest:

If you are an expert in sex, sexuality, or sexual health, or you have a personal experience that taught you how to heal or reclaim your pleasure, we would love to have you on the show. Please send your pitch to [email protected].

Sponsored by Content Is Queen.

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Keywords: fatphobia, sex and sexuality, sex toys, African culture, pleasure, sex positions, decolonising sex, intersection of sex and culture, intimacy

What happens when your doctor sexually assaults you as a teenage girl?

In this episode, storyteller Aida walks us through the cultural norms that influence women's sexuality in Nigeria and across Africa. She points out the harmful legacy of purity culture, the trauma of virginity testing, and the male-centred narratives that deny women autonomy, pleasure, and even the right to consent.

Aida shares traumatising personal and societal stories, including a disturbing account of a young woman subjected to an invasive virginity check. The conversation exposes the alarming realities of marital rape and coerced sex, issues often dismissed by Nigerian culture and law. Aida also challenges the idea that women's pleasure is secondary, advocating fiercely for sexual autonomy and self-discovery.

Please help us reach more women discovering their sexuality, healing from sexual trauma, and learning to love their bodies beyond society's beauty standards. Rate or follow The Fat and Horny Podcast on Spotify, Afripods or Apple Podcasts. It helps others find us, and we would love to have them in this community.

More from us:

Subscribe to the Young & Oversharing Newsletter

Follow us on TikTok: @youngandoversharing

Support the podcast:

If you want to hear more conversations like this, please support the podcast by buying us a coffee. Every dime and dollar counts when it comes to women's pleasure. Buy us a coffee: https://buymeacoffee.com/foryoungwomen  

Be a guest:

If you are an expert in sex, sexuality, or sexual health, or you have a personal experience that taught you how to heal or reclaim your pleasure, we would love to have you on the show. Please send your pitch to [email protected].

Sponsored by Content is Queen.

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Keywords: virginity testing, consent, Nigeria, Nigerian culture, marital rape, coercion, sexual autonomy, sex and sexuality, African culture, women's pleasure

"Why is it that the only time that you will be attacked for questioning culture is when it has to do with gender?" — Tisa Chigaga

Filmmaker Tisa Chigaga invites us into the story behind her short film, Bride of Zambia. She spotlights the pan-African tradition of the fattening room, kitchen parties, and how "bride-training" rituals enforce patriarchal norms—often perpetuated by women themselves.

Tisa reveals the historical roots of teaching "obedience" to child brides and challenges the silencing of women's questions. She touches on harmful practices such as FGM that are led by women. This is a raw conversation about separating African culture from patriarchy, breaking cycles of sexual harm, and reclaiming agency.

Watch Bride of Zambia on YouTube (Indie Films World).

Please help us reach more women discovering their sexuality, healing from sexual trauma, and learning to love their bodies beyond society's beauty standards. Rate or follow The Fat and Horny Podcast on Spotify, Afripods or Apple Podcasts. It helps others find us, and we would love to have them in this community.

More from us:

Subscribe to the Young & Oversharing Newsletter

Follow us on TikTok: @youngandoversharing

Support the podcast:

If you want to hear more conversations like this, please support the podcast by buying us a coffee. Every dime and dollar counts when it comes to women's pleasure. Buy us a coffee: https://buymeacoffee.com/foryoungwomen  

Be a guest:

If you are an expert in sex, sexuality, or sexual health, or you have a personal experience that taught you how to heal or reclaim your pleasure, we would love to have you on the show. Please send your pitch to [email protected].

Sponsored by Content is Queen.

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Keywords: patriarchy, Bride of Zambia, sexual harm, sex and sexuality, bride training, African culture, African traditions, child marriages

No orgasm? I want a divorce.

In this episode, Warimi Karogo, Kenyan playwright, actress, model, influencer, and host of the kink-positive Channel 69 Podcast, zooms into Kenya's complex relationship with sex. She covers everything from colonial legacy and pre-colonial Kikuyu traditions to modern double standards and queer identity.

Warimi shares her personal journey through sexual stigma, slut-shaming, and a homophobic society while highlighting urgent issues like femicide and abortion stigma. She discusses the history of sexual fluidity in Africa and delivers a powerful call for comprehensive sex education, consent, and open conversation.

Please help us reach more women discovering their sexuality, healing from sexual trauma, and learning to love their bodies beyond society's beauty standards. Rate or follow The Fat and Horny Podcast on Spotify, Afripods or Apple Podcasts. It helps others find us, and we would love to have them in this community.

More from us:

Subscribe to the Young & Oversharing Newsletter

Follow us on TikTok: @youngandoversharing

Support the podcast:

If you want to hear more conversations like this, please support the podcast by buying us a coffee. Every dime and dollar counts when it comes to women's pleasure. Buy us a coffee: https://buymeacoffee.com/foryoungwomen  

Be a guest:

If you are an expert in sex, sexuality, or sexual health, or you have a personal experience that taught you how to heal or reclaim your pleasure, we would love to have you on the show. Please send your pitch to [email protected].

Sponsored by Content is Queen.

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Keywords: sex education, sexual fluidity, sex and sexuality, sexual trauma, Kenyan culture, Kikuyu tradition, sexual health, sexual wellness, abortion, femicide, stigma

"What if I am too heavy?" "Is BMI a thing for African bodies?" "Can fat women scissor?"

In this episode, Iris, an interdisciplinary artist exploring mental and sexual wellness, shares the complex realities of being a fat, queer woman navigating sexuality, intimacy, and body image.

She talks about the origins of body shame, from childhood gifts with hidden agendas to damaging family comparisons. Iris shares her journey as a self-proclaimed "late bloomer," detailing her fears around sex, the discovery of her queer identity, the confrontation of internalised fatphobia, and the empowering process of learning her body's needs through sex toys and masturbation.

Please help us reach more women discovering their sexuality, healing from sexual trauma, and learning to love their bodies beyond society's beauty standards. Rate or follow The Fat and Horny Podcast on Spotify, Afripods or Apple Podcasts. It helps others find us, and we would love to have them in this community.

More from us:

Subscribe to the Young & Oversharing Newsletter

Follow us on TikTok: @youngandoversharing

Support the podcast:

If you want to hear more conversations like this, please support the podcast by buying us a coffee. Every dime and dollar counts when it comes to women's pleasure. Buy us a coffee: https://buymeacoffee.com/foryoungwomen  

Be a guest:

If you are an expert in sex, sexuality, or sexual health, or you have a personal experience that taught you how to heal or reclaim your pleasure, we would love to have you on the show. Please send your pitch to [email protected].

This episode is sponsored by Adventures From the Bedrooms of African Women. Produced and edited by Gwinyai Runyowa.

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Keywords: fatphobia, LGBTQIA+, sex toys, sex and sexuality, beauty standards, body image, body positivity, queer identity, pleasure

In this episode, Aida, a Kenyan photographer and eco-feminist, talks about sexuality, body image, and the complexities of desire and pleasure. She brings up the African experience of growing up in a culture where public commentary on bodies is the norm, and the deep-seated shame and performance anxiety that often accompany sex, especially for fat women.

Aida shares her personal journey of discovering her bisexuality as a teenager in Uganda, which came with its own complexities due to the homophobic environment. Like many others, she also faces the stereotypical frustration of men hypersexualising her identity while lesbians question her sexuality.

During this conversation, she also highlights harmful cultural practices such as FGM and labia elongation, connecting the dots between African cultural rituals and the systematic erasure of female pleasure.

Please help us reach more women discovering their sexuality, healing from sexual trauma, and learning to love their bodies beyond society's beauty standards. Rate or follow The Fat and Horny Podcast on Spotify, Afripods or Apple Podcasts. It helps others find us, and we would love to have them in this community.

More from us:

Subscribe to the Young & Oversharing Newsletter

Follow us on TikTok: @youngandoversharing

Support the podcast:

If you want to hear more conversations like this, please support the podcast by buying us a coffee. Every dime and dollar counts when it comes to women's pleasure. Buy us a coffee: https://buymeacoffee.com/foryoungwomen  

Be a guest:

If you are an expert in sex, sexuality, or sexual health, or you have a personal experience that taught you how to heal or reclaim your pleasure, we would love to have you on the show. Please send your pitch to [email protected].

This episode is sponsored by Adventures From the Bedrooms of African Women. Produced and edited by Gwinyai Runyowa.

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Keywords: FGM, labia elongation, bisexuality, sex and sexuality, African culture, body image, body positivity, women's pleasure, homophobia, lesbian