Hey friends!Let me tell you about my first business coach. We’ll call her Sue.

She was brilliant, successful… and obsessed with looking perfect. Perfect business, perfect family, perfect team. But behind the scenes, everything had to go through her. No one had autonomy. And the pressure to keep up the illusion was exhausting — for her and everyone around her.

Back then, I thought she had it all figured out. Now I know: she didn’t. And neither does anyone else.

Here’s what age and experience have taught me:The people who look the most “together” are often the ones struggling most behind the scenes.

That 7-figure entrepreneur? She’s wondering if she even wants her business anymore.That mom who seems to juggle it all? She’s crying in her car at school pickup.That confident coach? She’s googling “how to know what you want” at 2 AM.

The difference isn’t that some people have it figured out and others don’t.It’s that some of us have gotten comfortable admitting we’re figuring it out.

Over the years I’ve sat in masterminds, group chats, and private conversations with wildly “successful” women.And almost all of them are asking the same questions:

* Is this all there is?

* Do I even want this anymore?

* What am I supposed to want next?

* Am I the only one making it up as I go?

Nope. We’re all making it up as we go.

When we pretend to have it all figured out, it costs us:

* It isolates us — people only show us their highlight reels, not their real struggles

* It keeps us stuck — we cling to old strategies instead of experimenting

* It ramps up our stress — performing perfection is exhausting

* It erodes our leadership — our teams never see that it’s okay to pivot

When I stopped pretending:

* My business got better — I could try new things without shame

* My relationships deepened — people opened up about their struggles

* My stress dropped — I didn’t have to be “on” all the time

* My decisions improved — I asked for help and made braver moves

* My team grew — they saw mistakes as part of the process, not failure

You have permission to:

* Not have it all figured out

* Be in the messy middle of becoming who you’re meant to be

* Change your mind

* Admit when something isn’t working

* Stop comparing your behind-the-scenes to everyone else’s highlight reels

We’re all living in the gray space — between who we were and who we’re becoming.The real skill isn’t “having the answers” — it’s learning to thrive in uncertainty.

Here’s your practice:

* Admit one thing you don’t have figured out

* Ask someone you admire what they’re still figuring out

* Say “I’m figuring it out” without apologizing

* Celebrate the questions

The most successful women I know aren’t the ones who have it all figured out — they’re the ones brave enough to admit they don’t.

xx, Heather

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