The above said statement of Mother Teresa laid the foundation of her relationship with God.  As she believed herself to be merely a pencil in the hands of Jesus Christ, her endeavor as a Missionary of Charity demonstrated the art of ‘action without activity’, which is the ultimate goal of Yoga and Sanyasa-

“I wonder at His great humility and my smallness- nothingness- I believe this is where Jesus and I meet. He is everything to me and I –His own little one- so helpless- so empty- so small. – I let Him have His way- I know that I am being used –…”    –  (May 29, 1976)

“We are not social workers. We are contemplatives in the heart of the world. We are 24 hours a day with Jesus.”    – (Speech in Rome, December 20, 1979)

“The moment you accept, the moment you surrender yourself, that’s the conviction. … If uncertainty remains that’s the time to go on your knees, eh? . . .  Once you have got God within you, that’s for life. There is no doubt. .. but even God could do nothing for someone already full. You have to be completely empty to let Him in to do what He will. That’s the most beautiful part of God, eh? Being Almighty and yet not forcing Himself on anyone.”    – (Mother Teresa: her people and her work, by Desmond Doig)

Nevertheless, she encountered a baffling paradox in her own diagram of nothingness and emptiness.  Regarding the MC work, she remained convinced throughout about His active presence –

“Conviction of my nothingness has made the work & the whole society completely His. He will do still greater things if He finds somebody more nothing than I. I will be happy, very happy to be free- and to be just a simple sister in the Community- after nearly thirty five years. ……-  I am longing to be only all for Jesus- through Mary, a simple MC.”    -(16 September 1985)

But for personal life, she was experiencing an unexpected absence of her beloved Jesus inside her. The letter dated March 18, 1953 carried its mention, probably for the first time-

“Your grace, Please pray for me that I may not spoil His work and Our Lord may show Himself – for there is such terrible darkness within me, as if everything was dead. It has been like this more or less from the time I started the ‘work.”

Excerpts from a few of her letters written after this-

“I must have been so very full of self all these years- since God is taking so long to empty me.- I hope one day when I am fully empty He comes.”   – (February, 1963)

“How terribly empty my soul is – but I am not afraid. He has done marvels for me – Holy is His name. –  Pray for me that in this darkness I do not light my own light – nor fill this emptiness with my self.- I want with my whole will only Jesus.”      – (July, 1967)

As she kept anxiously waiting for His return, some piece of spiritual text would at times provide her a basis to relate her own condition to-  “I read something beautiful in Br. Benito S.J. life – There would come a time when God will fill what He had emptied.”

“Even God seemed to elude him… God hid behind His gift of frustration , and emptiness. Was God hostile too? … Impossible. God was just, whatever His designs for desolate souls. There would be a time when He would fill what He had emptied, of this Benito was certain even though he couldn’t see the hope of it. The darkness of night would be dispelled by the flashes of God’s mercy.”

– (Come be my light, Ch. 9, end note 9)

So, it was all His devised plan to actually fill her up with nothing but His passion. My mentor explains the same as a divine process by which the Supreme Soul unites with a surrendered soul-

https://forbeingalive.wordpress.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/09/empty-f.mp3

– Shri Vinod ji Agarwal