The Fink Tank

After many failed attempts over several years, Col finally quit smoking with 13 durries to go. 

Smoking killed our dad, but that wasn't enough to make him stop. And my strong condemnation actively worked *against* his intention to quit. What’s that about??

Decisions clouded with shame often feel like they happen in closed-off parts of our brain. And it’s not only habits like smoking that are addictive. Work routines, negative relationship patterns, self sabotage, imposter syndrome, procrastination. There are lots of ways to be an addict. They’re often destructive, and we wish we behaved differently. 

One day, Col DID quit smoking. With thirteen cigarettes still in the pack.

He smoked them. And never smoked another.

Why was this time different?

I’m often baffled by how my money behaves.

I can be convinced I want to spend money on something, which I can afford, which will make my life better. I then somehow just… don’t. My money has other ideas. 

Other times I can be repulsed by an inflated price tag or an unnecessary indulgence. And to my dismay, the cash can’t spend itself fast enough.

The surprises are the exception, but they happen across the board. Hobbies, travel, food, work expenses, professional development.

Trying to predict what my money will do is an uncertain science.

When you’re running a small business, you have to decode this mystery with OTHER people’s money. As Col says, people lie with their mouths, but they don’t lie with their wallet. And they’re often saying different things.

Your job is to listen to the truth of your customer's wallets, because their mouths might be misinformed.

Friend of the Fink Tank Ellen Rogin, CPA, actually interviews people’s money to help them better understand each other. I love the idea of treating money as a separate entity that you have to get to know and understand. Because it's got a mind of its own.

Our older brother Michael once addressed our full school assembly, and spoke in a false baritone so comical Col can’t think about it without squealing with laughter.

Pretty much everyone who’s spoken in front of an audience or gotten on camera has inadvertently used a weird Presenter Voice.

But really, the only thing weird about it is a hope or expectation that we’ll be able to speak normally.

You’ve spent your whole life having low-pressure conversations one-on-one or in small groups. Tens of thousands of hours of practice.

Speaking from stage or down the black hole of a camera lens is a totally different skill. You should EXPECT to be crap when you start out. 

In the state of Victoria you have to log 120 hours of driving as a Learner before you’re even allowed to take the test to get your full license.

120 hours is probably more than you’ll need to get passably good on camera or the stage, but it’s not a bad goal. Mastery takes time. 

And without at least ten hours under your belt, don’t judge yourself harshly for your Presenter Voice.

Just keep practising.

Col has been clearing his to-do list by ticking things off without actually doing them.

🙌 🎉  And then celebrating like he has. What a strategy. 

A trick for maximising your productivity is to actively avoid doing nearly everything.

Like most human beings, you're amazing. You're smart, talented, capable and adaptable. You could do almost anything!

This expansive possibility is both exciting and frustrating, because it's soon meet with the realisation that while you *could* do almost anything, you *can* do almost nothing... or at least, only a very limited number of the things in the near-infinite field of possibility stretching out before you.

Col and I have spent large portions of our lives frustrating ourselves and the people around us by overestimating what we can achieve, and are only now—in our mid-to-late forties!—coming to terms with the limits of our capabilities.

In this episode of The Fink Tank, we reflect on our limitations and gently laugh about things which our respective partners and colleagues have no doubt found utterly infuriating. Oops! Sorry!

Mid-episode my brain recalled a model from Alicia McKay’s excellent “Get Your Shit Sorted” workshop from 2020 lockdown times.

She has a habit of producing incredible work that gets used once and forgotten (the price of prolific output). Here are her (paraphrased) 4D’s for low-priority tasks:

Do the minimum – Half-arsing is often the right option.

Delegate – Outsource that sucker.

Delay – Not everything needs to be done now.

Delete – Many things don’t need to be done at all.

Col has been having an absolute party with number 4. 

Could you?

Well, you can, but people will probably still regard it as such.

It‘s more important that what you present to the world feels real. Especially on a social feed.

Col and I both enjoy content that feels a little raw. Stuff with honesty and personality. It should come with effort, curation, and care, but the focus should be connection and relatability, not a dodgy animated logo from fiverr.

In this Fink Tank we talk about the folly of trying to be something you‘re not, and how to use the appetite of the socials to your advantage.

The handwritten recommendation notes in Dan Murphy‘s carry a lot of weight. I like them as an analogy because they have a clear commercial purpose, but still feel honest and real.How could you be more like them?

There's this interesting—almost universal—characteristic of human life, whereby we are constantly disappointed by what we're able to achieve in a day, and amazed by what we can achieve in a year, or a decade.

It seems that perhaps a lot of our misery (related to work, at least) is actually the product of unrealistic expectations rather than an inability to get stuff done.In this Friday Fink Tank we discuss some practical habits and psychological shifts which can help improve our general levels of satisfaction on a daily basis.

My brother Col is a tightarse.

So am I, actually, because our parents were tightarses and these apples haven't fallen far from the tree.

Our dad was a speTACular tightarse, particularly where clothes were concerned. If you saw him wandering around a supermarket you'd assume he was on minimum wage, despite the fact that he owned a small chain of pharmacies, employed 30-50 people, and at one point owned a literal row of houses like he was playing monopoly. (This became what is now Bundoora Square shopping centre, for anyone reading who happens to be familiar with the northern suburbs of Melbourne).

He *never* bought a drink at a service station that would've been cheaper at the supermarket. He *never* bought a car with electric windows.

I clearly remember him saying air conditioners (at the time a ~$2000 option on new cars) were a complete waste of money because "There's only five days a year in Melbourne hot enough to even use it, just wind ya bloody window down!".

Saving money on unnecessary conveniences and creature comforts was part of dad's identity. Even when his business took off, his spending habits in this regard never changed, because that was part of what it meant to be Tony Fink.

Family holidays, on the other hand... they evolved from camping in the Victorian high country with baked beans for dinner, to ski trips in the USA! Spending time with his family was also part of being Tony Fink, and the cost of that never bothered him, so more money meant bigger holidays.

Anyway, this week's Friday Fink Tank is about Fink tightarsery, identity, and remaining true to yourself.

Enjoy.

Am I the arsehole? It's sometimes difficult to tell.

I remember times I reacted with indignant anger, fuming at how I'd been treated. How DARE this person do this to me!

And then, with reflection and maybe new information, I'll start to see how I've been complicit - or maybe directly responsible! - for what happened.

Today's Friday Fink Tank topic comes from the amazing Celeste Halliday, who shared a useful frame to think about the ambiguous situations we find ourselves in. 

We are both the villain AND the victim. 

Being able to dispassionately look at things through this lens can be enlightening.

Although, in the Fink family home during our early teenage years, it's probably fair to say I was exclusively the villain and Col the victim.

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In this Friday Fink Tank Col takes aim at people who whinge about tax.

More specifically, he invites us to think of tax not as something being taken away, but instead the opportunity to live in a society of abundance and prosperity.

We enjoy and expect generosity at the micro level. It seems to get murkier at the macro.

A five minute high-level chat can't cover the nuance and politics and complexity of the topic, or the struggles people are facing. So please, be civil in the comments!

See? This doesn't make any sense! Yet...

Conventions exist for a reason, and you should break them only very rarely, and only very deliberately. Putting the punchline first is uncommon, and as you can see, it's jarring when it happens.

Conventions make processes easier.

Greeting people, playing team sport, going to dinner parties. 

We know what to expect, and we know what’s expected of us. 

In this Friday Fink Tank, Col and I swap chairs to chat about the usefulness of convention. 

Driving someone else’s car is easy, because the accelerator and brake are always in the same place. But it’s annoying when the indicator is on the wrong side.

Convention can reduce friction and focus attention where it’s wanted. 

Your quirky font will not make your book ”stand out” it will make it unreadable.

If people using your website have to wait or squint, you risk losing them.

AND

Convention can bore people, entrench privilege, and alienate people. If you’re going to break convention, do it in service of your audience. For example, Callum McKirdy’s website breaks convention in service of accessibility for neuro divergence. Nice one.