The First Hour

 Last week's petition fell flat to get Jacob back, so it's just Jarin, Joel, and Matt. This week the boys tackle what may be the most important question of the season: does anyone actually like mosquitos? What exactly IS Mister Mosquito? There is more mosquito discussion in this episode than you are prepared for. We cannot stress this enough. Also Japanese huddle culture gets its moment in the spotlight. Buzz on in. 

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Wake up early and pour yourself a bowl of cereal because this week it's Nicktoons Unite! Jacob is back, and we are formally petitioning to never let him leave again (future episode spoiler, he leaves).  The boys argue about which Saturday morning cartoons were the best growing up, and one of them proves to be suspiciously more knowledgeable than the rest. Is Digimon a cartoon? Another episode, another 15 minutes spent on voice actors. And the ultimate question: which Nicktoon will unite them all? Don't touch that dial!

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The boys are back and this time they're going robotic. Rule 34 art is brought up, as it always is eventually. Matt issues an official PSA: stop DMing us, the Discord is right there. Jarin reveals he has a ritual for the DMs he receives, and honestly we're not sure how to feel about that. Finally, Joel once again demonstrates his signature inability to recognize a game's storyline - but we love him for it. Plug in and tune in for this one. 

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 Four discs, one PlayStation RPG that refused to be contained. This week Matt, Jarin, Joel, and Visor dive deep into The Legend of Dragoon. The group takes on the philosophical crisis of our generation: what is THE Final Fantasy, and will we ever truly know when it comes?  More importantly, what do you even call a fan of Dragoons? The answers may surprise you. Drop into this one, Dragoon fans (or whatever you're called) and find out!

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 Grab your balls and find a monkey, the boys are back! This week it's Super Monkey Ball 2, and the question on everyone's mind is just how good a game with minimal controls can really be. The Jacobs team up to sandbag yet another one of Matt's picks. How many levels did they actually get through? What set them off the most? Tune in and find out. 

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The original three are back. Matt, Jacob, and Jarin morph their way into Animorphs: Know the Secret this week, and things get weird fast. We talk about what animals we would each become if we had the power to morph (we don't actually pick animals just the fact that we would pick some). Yeerk slugs and what we think might be candronal rays get a thorough discussion, Jarin spends the entire hour posting morphing gifs in the Discord, and awkward voice lines are appreciated. Brush up on your alien lore before tuning in because this one's a wild ride!

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 It's finally here - the sweaty couch classic. The boys dive into Super Smash Bros Melee and things get heated fast. We discuss what it would look like to find Smash item drops in real life, tier lists are debated, tournament rules are dissected, and we take a moment to give a hot take on unlocking characters in games. Also, Jarin gets absolutely destroyed by Yoshis. How? Just sit back, listen, and find out! 

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The boys snap, crackle, and creep their way through Addams Family Values this week. A Word of the Day has been chosen, but you'll have to listen closely, it's a secret. Each of us gets assigned our very own Addams Family name. Jacob takes a moment to air his grievances against generic Great Value products, which somehow feels very on brand for this episode. Plus many more spooky surprises lurking in the shadows. Don't let this episode FESTER in your queue. Give it a listen! 

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What a strange episode. Matt AND Jacob sit this one out, but we get an old partner to step into their place for The Legend of Zelda: The Wind Waker. Join Joel, Jarin, Alex, and James as they test the limits of glazing a game with no adults around. Matt attempts to keep some sort of decorum through editor's notes, but the scores remain. Hop on your small sentient boat and sail in to this weeks episode!

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You asked, they delivered. In this episode Jacob and Joel make out hard. We also gently brush the surface of the vast ocean of Cat Dog lore, seeking the answer to the ultimate question, is Cat Dog a straw? Please do not attempt any Crash Tag Team Racing stunts discussed in this podcast. Consult with a doctor if you think Crash Tag Team Racing is right for you.

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