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There are stages to growth, and these get more and more refined as we develop our consciousness. 

I think its impotant to recongise that we are firtly humans that have been given a certain amount of baggage fron childhood, and the foundation of how we are in the world as a certain age has been created from a source other than us, we have not been in control and our psyche has been adapting to what is present for a long time. so firstly, as in our youth, we must embark on a journey to understand and stop the leakages of the adapations and gain some control over our impulses and egeres, then after this, look to connect to something more profound and wiser.