The For Peyton Podcast

What does good mental health actually look like?

We talk a lot about anxiety, depression, trauma, and other mental health struggles—but mental health is more than the absence of symptoms. In this solo episode of the For Peyton Podcast, Tami Valentine explores seven important aspects of psychological health, drawing from the work of psychologist Nancy McWilliams, her experience as a therapist, and plenty of real-life examples.

Tami breaks down safety and trust, personal agency, self-esteem, emotional tolerance, maintaining a sense of who you are through different seasons of life, balancing self-care with contributing to others, and developing the capacity to work, play, and love.

Along the way, she talks candidly about grief after losing her son Peyton, criticism and rejection, boundaries and levels of trust, learning to tolerate people who drive you a little crazy, finding balance between work and rest, and why being mentally healthy doesn't mean having everything figured out.

Recorded from the perspective of a therapist living and working in rural Colorado, this episode offers practical mental health education for anyone wanting to better understand themselves, their relationships, and the areas of life that may need a little more attention.

Listen to the For Peyton Podcast for real conversations about mental health, grief, relationships, trauma, personal growth, and life in rural communities.

Related resources and digital downloads are available at ValentineCounseling.org.

For Pete's sake, take care of yourself and each other.

Small towns are known for showing up for each other. But is being close-knit the same as being emotionally healthy?

In this clinical deep dive on the For Peyton Podcast, therapist Tami Valentine follows up on her conversation with Conejos County commissioner candidate Colton Sutherland to explore the psychology of healthy communities and what helps people truly thrive.

Drawing on psychological research, personal experiences, and life in Colorado's San Luis Valley, Tami examines four essential elements of community well-being: belonging, trust, agency, and hope.

What does it mean to belong somewhere, rather than simply be welcomed? Can we disagree without becoming enemies? Do people genuinely have a voice in the decisions that affect their lives? And how do we create meaningful opportunities for the next generation to build a future in the places they call home?

Along the way, Tami reflects on the extraordinary support her family received after losing her son Peyton, lessons learned through community leadership, and the difference between telling people they matter and creating opportunities for them to experience it.

Plus, Tami introduces two new recurring segments: For Pete's Sake, featuring personal updates and reflections, and Let's Unpack That, where she explores listener responses to the question, "What matters less to you than it used to?"

Whether you live in a small rural town or a large city, this episode offers a thoughtful look at how we build communities where people feel included, heard, valued, and hopeful about the future.

Because a healthy community isn't just a place where everybody knows your name. It's a place where your presence matters.

Listen to the full conversation with Colton Sutherland for additional context, and find more resources at ValentineCounseling.org.

For Pete's sake, take care of yourself and each other.

In this episode of The For Peyton Podcast, Tami Valentine sits down with Colton Sutherland, Republican candidate for Conejos County Commissioner, for an honest, sometimes funny conversation about the future of rural Colorado.

Born and raised in Manassa, Colton shares his journey from the San Luis Valley to law school in Kentucky and why he ultimately chose to return home and raise his family.

Together, they explore the challenges facing Conejos County and Colorado's San Luis Valley, including housing affordability, economic opportunity, agriculture, water, rural mental health, and keeping young people connected to their communities.

They also discuss community traditions, government transparency, leadership, and why feeling heard and valued matters to the health of a community.

And, of course, there's plenty of small-town humor along the way!

Whether you call Conejos County home or care about the future of rural communities, this conversation is about more than politics. It's about belonging, opportunity, and building a future worth coming home to.

Description: “This is who I’m going to be for the rest of my life.” Have you ever worried that a hard season has permanently changed you?

Following her conversation with Adams State University President David Tandberg, San Luis Valley therapist Tami Valentine explores grief, identity, and why asking for help can feel so difficult. Drawing on narrative therapy and her own experience with loss, she considers how painful experiences become part of our story—and how we make room for who we’re still becoming.

You don’t owe your pain a redemption story. Find the companion reflection workbook at valentinecounseling.org/shop.

Sometimes someone else sees our potential before we can see it ourselves.

In this episode of For Peyton, I sit down with Adams State University President David Tandberg to talk about the people who saw potential in him and how that experience shapes the way he leads today. We explore what it means to help students feel like they belong, the difference a university can make in rural communities, and the responsibility—and sometimes loneliness—of leadership.

David also shares openly about losing his younger brother, his experience with PTSD, and how asking for help changed his life. Together, we reflect on grief, the support that helps us move forward, and why doing hard things doesn’t mean doing them alone.

In this clinical deep dive, Tami Valentine explores what healthy relationship repair actually looks like when couples face conflict, stress, grief, disconnection, and major life changes. Using real stories from nearly 30 years of marriage alongside evidence-informed couples therapy concepts, she breaks down recurring conflict patterns, emotional responsiveness, shared coping, and the small ways couples find their way back to each other.

If you’ve ever wondered why you keep having the same fight—or how to reconnect when life gets heavy—this episode is for you.

What does nearly 30 years of marriage actually look like?

In this episode of The For Peyton Podcast, I sit down with my husband, Aaron, for an honest conversation about growing up together, raising four kids, navigating money and family stress, learning how to communicate, becoming empty nesters, and grieving the loss of our son, Peyton.

We talk about the things we got right—and plenty of things we got wrong. We share stories from our early marriage and parenting years, the ways our roles have changed over time, how differently we respond to conflict and emotion, and what grief has taught us about showing up for each other.

This isn’t a conversation about having a perfect marriage. We definitely don't.

It’s about repair.

About learning your spouse over and over again as life changes. About recognizing that one person cannot meet every need. About making room for humor, friendship, separate interests, hard conversations, forgiveness, and sometimes simply hanging on through a difficult season.

And after almost 30 years together, maybe that’s one of the biggest things we’ve learned:

We just keep repairing.

If you’re navigating marriage, parenting, grief, relationship changes, or a new season of life with someone you love, I hope this conversation makes you feel a little more normal—and gives you something worth talking about together.

🎙️ The For Peyton Podcast
Real conversations about mental health, relationships, grief, growth, and the things we carry that don't always get said out loud.

In this clinical deep dive, Tami follows up on her conversation with Ashley Moran by exploring a question that can be surprisingly hard to answer: Am I depressed, or am I just going through something really difficult?

Grief, burnout, stress, trauma, and depression can overlap in ways that are difficult to sort out from the inside. But you do not have to perfectly name what you are experiencing before you ask for help.

Tami breaks down what depression can actually look like, including changes in functioning, pleasure, motivation, energy, and the overall direction your mental health is heading. She also talks about why some people remain highly functional while struggling significantly underneath, how the “of course I feel this way” trap can keep us from recognizing when something has become unsustainable, and why action sometimes has to come before motivation.

The episode also covers behavioral activation, coping skills versus treatment, therapy, medication, medical evaluation, social connection, spirituality, and practical ways to build a “minimum viable day” when everything feels overwhelming.

Most importantly, this episode is a reminder that there is no threshold you have to cross before you are allowed to ask for support.

If it hurts, if it feels overwhelming, or if what you are carrying no longer feels sustainable—ask for help.

And for Pete’s sake, take care of yourself and each other.

In this episode of The For Peyton Podcast, Tami sits down with her friend Ashley Moran for a candid conversation about motherhood, grief, faith, family, and learning how to keep living after devastating loss.

Ashley shares what it was like to lose her husband, Donald, while raising six children, how grief affected each member of the family differently, and what it meant to keep parenting when she was barely getting through the day herself. She talks openly about depression, recognizing when she needed help, the support of family and community, and the small moments that helped her move from simply surviving toward living again.

They also talk about what grieving people actually need, why saying a loved one’s name matters, the tension between faith and pain, remarriage, raising children through loss, and how joy and grief can exist at the same time.

This is a thoughtful, honest conversation about carrying what cannot be changed, accepting help, finding meaning, and discovering that life can still be beautiful even when it looks nothing like you expected.

What happens when the danger is over, but your brain and body still act like it isn’t?

In this clinical deep dive, Tamera explores how trauma affects the brain, nervous system, memory, and threat response—and why survival skills that help us in one environment can become exhausting in another. Using insights from her conversation with Sergeant Nicholas Hazelett, she breaks down PTSD, hypervigilance, avoidance, cumulative trauma, and evidence-based treatment in a way that is practical, accurate, and hopeful.

Trauma can change us. But the brain is not finished learning.