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The Foster Runaway
Crisis Lifeline: Call/Text 988
National Helpline 1-800-662-4357
Veterans Crisis Line (dial 988 then press 1)
National Domestic Violence Hotline (1-800-799-SAFE)
https://discord.gg/9MSPwRG4p
In this episode of The Foster Dad Directive, I share the story of our first foster placement, who I refer to as "L", a teen who struggled with chronic running away and extreme trauma. Her placement with us was unplanned and rushed, and we were given incomplete and changing information about her age, history, and circumstances. We later learned she had a long history of instability, adoption disruption, trauma bonding, and abusive relationships. Running became a repeated pattern—eventually happening nine times—despite clear rules and safety concerns. I explain how her refusal to engage in therapy, false threats of self-harm, and resistance to structure made it impossible for her to safely move toward her goals of joining the military or law enforcement. Throughout it all, we tried to provide support, consistency, and resources, even as the situation became increasingly unsafe and emotionally exhausting.
I also open up about how her time with us overlapped with one of the hardest personal losses of my life—having to put down my dog Perseus, my companion of 11 years—after his health rapidly declined. I explain how her repeated disregard for safety accelerated his condition, and how her final runaway happened the very day I lost him. After multiple incidents and escalating risk, we made the painful decision to end the placement for safety reasons. She later entered independent living but was removed for refusing school and work, lost her benefits, and has since struggled with homelessness, legal trouble, and an unplanned pregnancy. I reflect on the heartbreak of watching someone spiral despite every effort to help, and I stress the importance of foster parents knowing their legal rights, especially regarding household safety. I close by encouraging listeners to reach out with questions, experiences, or resource needs—because no foster parent should have to navigate situations like this alone.
00:12 — Introduction & Disclaimer
Episode purpose and professional disclaimer.
01:00 — Emergency Placement & Age Confusion
Unplanned placement and last-minute age/legal housing issues.
02:01 — Elle’s Past Trauma & Adoption History
Adoption, pregnancy, forced abortion, and return to care.
03:00 — Chronic Runaways Begin
Multiple runaway incidents and police involvement.
03:59 — Dog Perseus & Medical Decline
Bond with Perseus, injury, and difficult euthanasia decision.
05:52 — Military & Police Aspirations vs. Reality
Goals vs. refusal to follow requirements; false self-harm claims.
06:28 — Therapy Refusal & Mental Health Concerns
Resistance to treatment despite severe trauma.
08:24 — Biological Family Rejection
Father and sister placements fail.
10:33 — Independent Living & Program Failure
Stipend loss, refusal of work/school, removal from placement.
11:29 — After Placement: Court, Pregnancy & Homelessness
Domestic incident, pregnancy, incarceration, and safety warnings.
https://patreon.com/TheFosterDadDirective?utm_medium=unknown&utm_source=join_link&utm_campaign=creatorshare_creator&utm_content=copyLink
View all episodes
By Charles DailyCrisis Lifeline: Call/Text 988
National Helpline 1-800-662-4357
Veterans Crisis Line (dial 988 then press 1)
National Domestic Violence Hotline (1-800-799-SAFE)
https://discord.gg/9MSPwRG4p
In this episode of The Foster Dad Directive, I share the story of our first foster placement, who I refer to as "L", a teen who struggled with chronic running away and extreme trauma. Her placement with us was unplanned and rushed, and we were given incomplete and changing information about her age, history, and circumstances. We later learned she had a long history of instability, adoption disruption, trauma bonding, and abusive relationships. Running became a repeated pattern—eventually happening nine times—despite clear rules and safety concerns. I explain how her refusal to engage in therapy, false threats of self-harm, and resistance to structure made it impossible for her to safely move toward her goals of joining the military or law enforcement. Throughout it all, we tried to provide support, consistency, and resources, even as the situation became increasingly unsafe and emotionally exhausting.
I also open up about how her time with us overlapped with one of the hardest personal losses of my life—having to put down my dog Perseus, my companion of 11 years—after his health rapidly declined. I explain how her repeated disregard for safety accelerated his condition, and how her final runaway happened the very day I lost him. After multiple incidents and escalating risk, we made the painful decision to end the placement for safety reasons. She later entered independent living but was removed for refusing school and work, lost her benefits, and has since struggled with homelessness, legal trouble, and an unplanned pregnancy. I reflect on the heartbreak of watching someone spiral despite every effort to help, and I stress the importance of foster parents knowing their legal rights, especially regarding household safety. I close by encouraging listeners to reach out with questions, experiences, or resource needs—because no foster parent should have to navigate situations like this alone.
00:12 — Introduction & Disclaimer
Episode purpose and professional disclaimer.
01:00 — Emergency Placement & Age Confusion
Unplanned placement and last-minute age/legal housing issues.
02:01 — Elle’s Past Trauma & Adoption History
Adoption, pregnancy, forced abortion, and return to care.
03:00 — Chronic Runaways Begin
Multiple runaway incidents and police involvement.
03:59 — Dog Perseus & Medical Decline
Bond with Perseus, injury, and difficult euthanasia decision.
05:52 — Military & Police Aspirations vs. Reality
Goals vs. refusal to follow requirements; false self-harm claims.
06:28 — Therapy Refusal & Mental Health Concerns
Resistance to treatment despite severe trauma.
08:24 — Biological Family Rejection
Father and sister placements fail.
10:33 — Independent Living & Program Failure
Stipend loss, refusal of work/school, removal from placement.
11:29 — After Placement: Court, Pregnancy & Homelessness
Domestic incident, pregnancy, incarceration, and safety warnings.
https://patreon.com/TheFosterDadDirective?utm_medium=unknown&utm_source=join_link&utm_campaign=creatorshare_creator&utm_content=copyLink