Do you feel stuck between the desire for flexibility while also craving for structure? 

In a world of infinite options, "keeping your doors open" feels like the smart move. But often, it leads to a specific kind of misery: the anxiety of feeling untethered and lost in a sea of possibilities. So how do we commit to what matters to us? 

We cover:

• The "Haircut vs. Tattoo" Rule: Why we treat reversible decisions like permanent ones (feat. James Clear).
• The 37% Rule: The mathematical solution to "When should I stop looking?"
• The "Intentional Renter": Why commitment doesn't always mean buying a house or settling down.
• The Ulysses Pact: How to use constraints to find focus.
• The Psychology of "The Fig Tree": What Sylvia Plath teaches us about the fear of missing out.

 
Timestamps: 
00:00 The push and pull between optionality and structure 
01:30 Why this matters 
02:21 Optimal arousal theory 
03:55 Reversible vs irreversible decisions 
05:51 Personality traits & personal characteristics 
08:28 Maximizers and satisficers 
10:59 Psychological immune system 
12:13 This is not about commitment phobia 
14:05 Being tied to the mast and forced to commit 
16:32 Committing for chunks of time or contracts with yourself 
18:35 Fear setting by Tim Ferriss
19:47 On the wonder of optionality 
22:24 Paying the opportunity cost 
23:33 Mindset and grit 
26:16 When to commit, optimal stopping point, and the magic of 37%
28:25 Fear based or strategic optionality?
30:10 What next? 

Mentioned in this episode and further reading / watching:  
On optimal arousal theory: https://www.ebsco.com/research-starters/anatomy-and-physiology/optimal-arousal-theory
James Clear's quote: https://jamesclear.com/quotes/i-think-about-decisions-in-three-ways-hats-haircuts-and-tattoos
Maximizers and satisficers: https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/12416921/ 
Psychological immune system: https://www.apa.org/monitor/oct01/strength
Ramit on renting 
The Three Year Rule by Matt D'Avella: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9HF2AjcXurA
Fear setting by Tim Ferriss: https://tim.blog/2017/05/15/fear-setting/
Optimal stopping point 37% rule: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yFVXsjVdvmY
Mastery video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sXwhvqoeWxk 
If you are stuck in planning and day dreaming: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gy_bO-xC6dc
On choosing a vocation: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gpzt2ECS2b0

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