The Friar Podcasts - preaching prayer and spiritual reflections

If there are people I ache for especially, it is those people whose family has not been a source of love, but rather one of pain, abuse, and difficulty. While none of us come from a perfect family, sadly there are those who come not only from an imperfect family, but a downright harmful family.

And so I try to be sensitive to the reality that on certain days, or when the Church uses good and helpful images, on a day when we celebrate the Holy Family, it is still real that for too many, the family is a place of pain and not love.

I do not keep the commandments. There, I said it. I wish I did. So did Saint Paul. He saw the good he wanted to do but does the thing he does not want to do. Too often in my own life I can say the same.

So am I a liar? Well, yes. I claim to believe in Jesus, but too often instead of doing what he wants me to do, things he knows are for my best, I choose to reject that and sin. So why am I telling you all this? Because the fact I do not keep the commandments is not the entire story.

Many people are not aware that I have a sister who died when I was four years old, and she was five. She had a variety of medical issues, and so that she was able to go to God so quickly was a blessing. Her life was filled with a lot of surgery and time in the hospital.

Moreover, my sister never would have talked and never would have walked. And there are those who could ask the question, of what value is such a person? In fact, people do ask such questions, and sadly even decide there are some lives that just are not worth living.

The apostle John, the evangelist, is a wonderful man of faith. If his brother James could be described as a "go-getter" John is the one who is more like Mary, the Mother of God, treasuring things in his heart. If Peter is seen as impulsive, John is more reflective. He does not go into the tomb right away, but when he sees, he believes.

John has a privileged place in the heart of Jesus, if, as many scholars believe, is the beloved disciple. John tells the story of Jesus, but often, most often in fact, with the main characters not identified by name. He does not identify himself. Mary is only referred to as the mother of Jesus.

Today we see the best and the worst. Stephen whose faith is so deep that he gives his life for it. And Saul, who has become so unable to see God at work in the world that he concurs in the killing of the deacon and disciple, Stephen.

Stephen is at his best because he is filled with the Holy Spirit. And I would like to suggest that Saul is at his worst because he does not yet know Jesus. He knows all of the Law, all of the right answers, but his pride keeps him from seeing Jesus and the action of the Holy Spirit. Stephen is all in for God.

One of the hallmarks of living with Dominicans (also true when I was a Diocesan priest as well) is the type of theological discussion that often does not lend itself to resolution. One such conversation for me was a discussion about whether the Incarnation or the Resurrection of Jesus was more important. Another was the appropriate end to Mass in a parish, instrumental or closing hymn.

I have noticed in my own life, however, that sometimes it becomes more important to me to be right rather than to seek the truth. There are so many ways we can think we understand the Incarnation, without really allowing Jesus to become Incarnate in our lives and in our hearts.

There are days when I wonder where the Church is headed. What will the future look like? I get sad when I see the division between people who claim to follow Jesus. And there are times when I can let these feelings of sadness get away from me.

It seems to me that the division in the Church arises from an inability to remember. An inability to remember that our faith does not depend upon us. It is a certain type of arrogance that thinks otherwise. In fact, I think so many of the problems we face arise from arrogance. At least in my case, I know I get arrogant.

It can be so hard to keep our eyes focused on the will of God in a world that seems filled with so much brokenness. Life is hard. It is filled with suffering. At times it can seem that for some there is nothing about it that can be seen as happy.

However, so much of our relationship with God and our view of the world turns on what we choose to focus upon each day. For all of the challenges of being childless, Zechariah remained faithful. Elizabeth remained faithful. They were able to see beyond their hardships to be ready for the blessings of God when they appeared.

We all have a plan. Each one of us has an expectation of how it is things will turn out in our lives. Even more, we want to control how it is things will turn out in our lives. We hope our family will do this, or have this, or become this. We hope we will become able to control our job, our tasks, the things we do.

We want to control the larger world too. We wish that our political party could decide all things. We want the Church to be this way or that way. We are certain that if everyone would just do what we expected all would be well.

In a broken world, it can be difficult sometimes to find causes for joy. We look and it can be the case that all there is around us is doom and gloom. And will it ever end?

The answer is that it only ends when we recognize in our lives the holy presence of God. In a Lasallian school, there is a constant reminder about the holy presence of God. We are reminded that in everything we do, everywhere we go, indeed everything we become, we are in God's holy presence.