The Frustration Factor

There is a fairly simple principle that most of us know but frequently don’t follow. When we are not getting to where we were headed, continuing in the same direction probably won’t get us there. If how we have been trying to succeed is not leading to success, doubling down on the same strategy likely will not result in eventual success.

 

I know, you already knew that. I knew it too but still find myself using the same approaches that haven’t worked in the past with children, co-workers and in other situations where the success of others is important to me and to them. It is frustrating but actually not surprising that those approaches still don’t work.

 

In this episode of the Audio Tidbits Podcast I spend a few minutes thinking about this peculiar behavior and suggest steps to get beyond staying stuck in ways of relating to and working with people that haven’t worked and are unlikely to work any time soon. Please listen and see if there is a point or two there that you may find useful.

Hey folks, I sure don't understand how this transmission appeared on our feed. I would like to tell you that I cleverly intercepted it but I didn't. It just suddenly came across without me doing anything. Please be alerted that you may start getting the transmissions from the aliens amongst us without me doing anything or maybe not even knowing there is a transmission. I fear that the aliens amongst us are capturing our feed. Please stand by. For now, here is the mystery transmission. The Aliens amongst us are returning.

Do you know someone who delights in figuratively pushing others around, telling them what to do, being in charge, and generally bossing others whether they are actually in a position to do that or not? It seems that their main agenda is letting everyone know that they are the big dog. Even worse, do you have to work with someone like that or spend time around them? If so, you have an authority junky in your life.

 

In this episode of the Audio Tidbits Podcast, I explore what is going on with those authority junkies and suggest one strategy you may want to use when put in a position where you have to put up with one of them. If this is of interest to you, please listen.

Hey folks, Intercept1 has intercepted what he thinks is a direct signal from the home planet of the aliens amongst us. Unless he misses his guess, at least some of the aliens amongst us have returned to their home planet for some rest and relaxation. It sounds to Intercept1 like they are conversing about their experiences on Earth and speculating about the future of us humans on Earth and how that bodes for the success of their Earth incursion. Intercept1 hopes you listen and come to your own conclusion. Here is the intercepted transmission.

Are you prejudiced? It won’t be surprising if you quickly say that you are not. But what is prejudice? It is Being biased or having a belief or attitude formed beforehand. It is to pre-judge.

 

I think the reality is that we are all prejudiced about some things and about some people. Actually I doubt if it is possible to grow up in a particular society at a particular time without developing prejudices about some people or groups of people in particular. We have opinions about people in our family, in our community, people in proximity to us. In turn we have opinions about people outside of our direct experience. The truth is that it would be very difficult if not impossible to function without these prejudices. Were it not for these pre-formed opinions about people, we would have to start from scratch every time we interact with someone new.

 

The problem comes in when we have negative or pejorative opinions of and attitudes toward groups of people simply because of their membership in a group different than ours. This is especially true when the individuals have no real choice about membership in the group. They are members of group X and we have subconsciously made prejudicial judgments about group X.

 

I suspect our list of personal prejudices would be fairly long for most of us. Having those prejudices is not all that much of an issue. They come with life and living. The issue is keeping the prejudices, not examining them, not making rational decisions about whether or not to maintain the prejudices we have naturally come to have.

 

In this episode of the Audio Tidbits Podcast, I explore the elements of prejudice and suggest some strategies we can implement to minimize how much they control our thinking, our behavior, our interactions with other people. With time and effort we can move away from judging people more or less exclusively based on which group they belong to and mostly on what they do, what they believe, how they relate to and interact with the rest of us.

Intercept1 has intercepted another communication from the Aliens Amongst Us. In this transmission, one of the aliens amongst us is on what appears to be a rant. He focuses on the fundamental inequity among the people of America and specifically on what he sees as a hidden example of the powerful exploiting the weak.

 

In this transmission, the alien amongst us is taking aim on youth athletics and in particular athletics in our schools. He reports on an example of what appears to be the exploitation and perhaps abuse of a young girl in cheerleading practice. The alien amongst us thinks it is but an example of more general exploitation of young athletes by adults who are primarily interested in promoting their own status and prestige.

 

Please listen and consider what you think about the validity of his rant.

I have heard people say that they have no respect for this person or that individual. I think this generally means that they disapprove of the person’s beliefs, behavior, or some other aspect of who they are or how they behave. Fair enough. For most of us, there are some people we do not want to associate with and who we deplore.

 

Consider this though. If we were to interact with those people, how would we conduct ourselves? Would we behave disrespectfully? Would we behave in a way that conveys our contempt? Perhaps we would but more likely we would try to avoid the individuals or should that not be possible, we would try to restrain our urge to be overtly disrespectful.

 

Most of us have few occasions to interact with people we truly disrespect but do frequently interact with people who we can easily disrespect without any conscious intent to do so. We are simply dismissive with them and make no effort to offer them the respect they hope for and likely deserve. Although we may give no thought to it, they know we do not value them and they thus feel (quite validly) disrespected.

 

In this episode of the Audio Tidbits Podcast, I focus on this tendency in all of us and suggest an alternative approach to everyone and to all of our interactions with others. I suspect you will find yourself thinking about at least one person you know who has this respectfulness with others thing down pat. They are one of those people for whom respectfulness is their middle name, as they say. How do they do it? Please listen to see if the episode offers an important clue.

We hear that some of us are traveling on easy street. Well, maybe so but probably not. I think it is fair to say that there is never a clear path to success. No matter how smart we are, how lucky we are, how rich we are, how old we are or how determined we are, there is always something or someone getting in our way from here to there. The issue is not whether we confront road blocks along the way. We do and will. The issue is what we do about them, how we get there in spite of the barriers and challenges.

In this episode, I share with you a little story of challenge and opportunity along with some thoughts about PRIDE and its role in our success. Please listen and consider the message.

We have all heard that the world is divided into those who tend toward optimism and those who lean toward pessimism. Some folks live at the extremes and others fall somewhere in-between. In this episode of the Audio Tidbits Podcast, I share with you a philosophy that suggests that it makes little difference whether you are optimistic or pessimistic, although Winston Churchill did note that given a choice, he figures that optimism is more fun. As we approach our futures, we have what I think of as a management opportunity. Whether we think positive or think negative, the management challenge remains the same. Please listen and see where you come down on the issue.

The Audio Tidbits Podcast team has collected a series of tidbits incorporating the world’s best advice. These life gems are packaged in six episodes that we are sharing with you in the hope that you adopt them as elements in your personal style as you continue to make a difference to people who make a difference to you. This edition of the Audio Tidbits Podcast shares one of those six episodes for your enjoyment and consideration.