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Luke Tyler was 20. A charismatic, spontaneous, witty, lovable yet humble soul, popular in the car community with an impressive TikTok following, who loved driving, especially japanese cars, including his 1991 Eunoroadster and 1998 Toyota Celica.

Driving helped his mental health, gave him freedom, it was his escape.

On the 13th of October 2023, Luke left the house like he’d done many times before, but this time he didn’t return.

A knock on the door changed everything, as the rain fell, Shelley opened the door to the police and her world changed forever.

In this episode, Shelley, a single mom, now faces life without her only child. She shares the raw truth of sudden loss, the haunting silence after the knock at the door and how she is finding ways to keep Luke’s name and his passion for cars alive.

For anyone who has loved and lost, this is a story of heartbreak, community and the deep bond between a mother and her son.

You can watch this episode here

https://youtube.com/@decsrollinglist?si=r8mrlVm-7bw-qro4

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He was only 18. It was New Year’s Eve.

While most were celebrating, Naomi got a call from Canada: her son Jay had collapsed and was in intensive care. She rushed home — but what followed was every parent’s nightmare.

Jay had gone into cardiac arrest from Sudden Arrhythmic Death Syndrome (SADS) — the same silent threat that has tragically taken footballers mid-game on live TV. Around 500 people a year in the UK are affected — all without warning  .

There was no drink. No drugs. Just a young man who loved space, animals, and pizza — and who’d simply collapsed. But Jay had made one final, selfless choice: he was an organ donor. When his life support was turned off, five lives were saved.

Legacy turned into action: Naomi launched Our Jay’s Foundation, installing defibrillators across the West Midlands — from gyms to police cars — and continues to raise funds so every public space holds a chance of survival.

 In this episode of The Functionning Griefster, Naomi shares her grief, her fight against cruel anti-vax conspiracies, and how she carries Jay’s legacy forward — one heartbeat at a time.

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They told her there was no heartbeat. What follow is something no parent should ever endure. Next line in this episode, I sit with Sharon, founder of The Luca foundation,as we open up about what it means to give birth to a sleeping baby. We share our own experiences, the silence in that delivery room, and the moment after that no parent is ever prepared 

Sharon’s son Luca, was lost twice, once when his heart stopped beating and again when the hospital misplaced his body for over 9 hours.

That experience became the catalyst for her  tireless campaigning, funding cuddle cots and blankets so bereaved families can spend more precious time with their child, pushing for change in Parliament and opening an online bereavement shop filled with thoughtful gifts.

This episode is a conversation about pain,  and the incredibly legacy of a baby boy called Luca who continues to make his mark on the world. For support if you have been affected by today’s episodes, can be found in the links below.

Grounding videos can be found at:

https://www.instagram.com/the_functioning_griefster?igsh=OWJsdzU4eWZ1bWto&utm_source=qr
&

https://youtube.com/@decsrollinglist?si=kkdtBMJhUNeeeMhh

https://thelucafoundation.org.uk/

https://www.sands.org.uk/

https://www.tommys.org/

https://4louis.co.uk/

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In the very first episode of The Functioning Griefster, I share the promise that she made to my son, Dec, to keep saying his name and to help others. Recorded in the back of the van where Dec took his last breath this Podcast invite’s those grieving, to tell their stories with honesty, heart and hope. This series is called a mother’s love a child’s Legacy. Where other grieving mum’s join me to celebrate the life of their children, what happened on that fateful day and how their legacy is continued by them. Today you will be introduced to my son, Dec, hear our story and how this podcast and #The Dec Effect came into fruition. 

I’m doing all of this while living with ADHD, grief and no technical training-just heart, honesty and the driving force of mine and my sons everlasting bond.okay, I 

Grounding tools can be found at @The_Functioning_Griefster 

YouTube @Dec’s Rolling Bucket List, The legacy continues.