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$350 champagne with a greasy burger? That’s the kind of culinary anarchy we’re bringing to Episode 190 of The Funky Panther. Mikey finally resurfaces after three years of hiding—probably avoiding our calls—and we’re diving face-first into Fort Worth’s wine scene. Magnolia Wine Bar, 61 Osteria, Bowie House… yeah, we’re basically sommeliers now, except we pair everything with fries. Oh, and did we mention our AI Christmas album? It’s either a masterpiece or a cry for help—jury’s still out.

This episode’s a beautiful dumpster fire of chaos: slap bets, wild bouncer stories, a musician who writes literal poop songs, and our half-baked plan to charm every “Jimmy” in late-night TV into putting us on their shows. We’re also debating natural wine fermentation (spoiler: it’s fancy rot) and dreaming about distilleries because clearly, we don’t drink enough.

As we kick 2024 to the curb, we’re celebrating weddings, Navy dropouts, and career overhauls—all with the kind of reckless humor you’ve come to love (or tolerate). So, grab a drink—or five—and let’s send this trashfire of a year off with the laughter, insanity, and questionable life choices it deserves. 

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What if your cowboy hat wasn’t just a fashion flex but a gateway to your final form? This week, The Funky Panther goes full identity crisis, morphing from smooth-talking Charlie Crockett to full-throttle Tiger King insanity. It’s less "saddle up" and more "unhinge completely." We also crack open the cursed tomb of The Guy Game (yes, that sleazy relic) and roast the depravity of the “Girls Gone Wild” era. Spoiler: Some ‘90s nostalgia should stay buried.

Then it’s off to Texas, where THC gummies are legal (kinda), booze ads are everywhere, and Kratom’s about to get whacked by Big Brother. We’re pulling back the curtain on the lawmakers and holy-rollers trying to legislate your vices like they’ve never sinned before. Spoiler alert: They have. If you’re wondering why weed is still a felony but you can buy tequila at Target, congrats, you’ve cracked the American paradox.

But wait—it gets darker. Somewhere out there, an insurance CEO is very dead under some very suspicious circumstances, and we’re side-eyeing capitalism harder than ever. Corporate America has a body count, and we’re connecting the dots. Greed, power, and “unexplained deaths” tend to walk hand-in-hand, don’t they? Throw in some dental nightmare fuel and a debate on whether to scalp your Texas A&M tickets, and you’ve got a perfect storm of chaos, crime, and capitalism’s rotting core.

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This week, we’re unpacking a travel nightmare where personal space gets tossed out the window, literally. Add in ghost sightings at the infamous Crescent Hotel and TV shows awkwardly sidestepping 9/11, and you’ve got a recipe for unsettling hilarity. Oh, and switching our allegiance from the Dallas Cowboys to Gilmore Girls? Yeah, we went there.

Virtual reality isn’t much better—what’s supposed to be the future of tech feels more like a cesspool of humanity’s worst impulses. It’s giving old-school gaming lobbies but with shinier graphics and just as much chaos. Meanwhile, Eureka Springs delivers haunted hotels and scenic hillsides, proving it’s equal parts charm and creep. And Jamie Kennedy’s comedy show? Let’s just say live performances don’t always go as planned.

We also dive into the gritty reality of local life: Shaq playing DJ like it’s the end of the world, cops popping into our lives at the worst moments, and a breakfast joint that feels like the only stable thing in this mess of a timeline. Between spotlighting artists on Amplify817 and unpacking the ridiculous intersection of privacy and spectacle, this episode doesn’t flinch from the absurd.

Forget neat conclusions or feel-good fluff—this is raw, messy, and real. Haunted hotels, public voyeurism, and existential musings: welcome to The Funky Panther, where laughter and unease go hand in hand. #HauntedAndHungry #VirtualInsanity #TheFunkyPanther

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Think holding hands across America could fix the world's problems? Neither do we—but we’re here to brainstorm anyway. Join The Funky Panther as we dive headfirst into the chaos of race, immigration, and a totally fictional (but hilarious) Mexican car industry. With our signature humor and zero qualifications, we tackle the big stuff, sprinkle in sharp satire, and somehow keep it all entertaining.

But wait, there’s more! Inspired by Adam Sandler’s "Spaceman," we take a hard left into sensory deprivation and the absurdity of floating spas and ultra-silent rooms. Isolated meditation or just a fancy way to lose your mind? You decide.

And because we’re not done being all over the place, we’ll hit you with stories of fondue nights gone wrong, costume parties we barely survived, and Nicole Kidman’s acting (don’t @ us). Toss in critiques of A24 films, homelessness, and the social media dumpster fire, and you’ve got an episode as messy as the world itself. Oh, and there’s a cleaning fairy involved somewhere. You’re welcome.

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What happens when you mix a home birth story with the wild antics of Joe Exotic? You get an episode that's as unpredictable as it is entertaining! We're thrilled to have our buddy Dank817, aka the Big Shark from Too High, back with us in the studio. We kick things off by laughing over memories of our past sessions, including that unforgettable smoky recording incident. Dank opens up about his struggles with confidence in his music career and how the support from his crew is reigniting his passion. Plus, we get real about juggling creative ambitions with the rollercoaster of parenthood and aging.

Ever thought about what it would be like to witness a home birth? We share a candid, humorous perspective that might just change your views on responsibility and family. There's also exciting news in the cannabis world with Too High's upcoming Gas Station Texas event—think live performances and a kickball tournament! Alongside these highlights, we dive into some bizarre and hilarious moments, including Joe Exotic's prison romance and the idea of hosting a Funky Panther rally with a comedian like Shane Gillis.

We wrap things up with a comedic look at specialty underwear and TikTok's weirdest trends. From mushroom coffee to nicotine's nootropic potential, we chat about the quirkiest aspects of modern life. We even throw in a game inspired by The Sopranos, where every gabagool mention or iconic Carmella moment calls for a celebration. With Dank817's infectious energy and our shared love for life's oddities, this episode promises laughs, camaraderie, and plenty of unexpected twists!

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Ever wondered what Halloween would look like through the eyes of a country musician or a mischievous Batman? Join us for this week's episode of the Funky Panther where we transform Halloween into a whimsical country music extravaganza. From imagining adults trick-or-treating to laughing about costume bar-hopping, we usher you into a world where cowboy hats meet candy corn and a crime-free Gotham makes Batman hit the sweets. Our creative musings might even inspire you to craft your own quirky Halloween playlist!

We've also got a lot to say about the art world, including how personal connections can sometimes outweigh market value. Our chat covers everything from the chaos of Banksy shredding his own art to the curious case of Mel B's daughter dipping her toes into an artistic career. With a sprinkle of nostalgia, we fondly remember classics like "Casper" and bring you up to speed on A24’s latest cinematic offerings. Let's not forget our lively banter about the challenges of art investment and the surprising impact of family ties in making or breaking an artist's career.

But wait, there's more! Ever confused Kid Cudi's role in the movie "X"? We've got that covered, too. Travel with us through the eerie narrative twists of "X," "Pearl," and "Maxine." We explore the spooky plotlines, unravel the chilling moments, and chuckle at our own mix-ups. Whether you're here for the cinematic insights or just a hearty laugh, this episode promises a rollercoaster of entertainment, humor, and unexpected revelations.

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Prepare for a whirlwind of laughter and storytelling as we recount our Austin City Limits (ACL) weekend escapades, full of memorable moments and fashion faux pas. Chad's bold fashion choice had us in stitches, setting the tone for a festival filled with vibrant energy and hilarious encounters with fans like Christy. Whether it was the awe of past performances by legends like OutKast and Eminem or the fresh excitement of this year's acts, the festival's electrifying atmosphere never failed to keep us entertained.

Shopping and festival logistics might sound mundane, but trust us, it's anything but boring in our world. Picture a shopping spree that led to an unintentional fashion reveal or the chaos of navigating rentable scooters amidst festival madness. From unexpected bathroom break dilemmas at a Tyler, the Creator concert to the absurdity of transportation costs, our tales are filled with humor and relatable chaos. We also dive into the phenomenon of Chapel Roan's rising fanbase, exploring the quirks of festival etiquette and the curious mix of catchy tunes and raunchy lyrics that captivates audiences.

Our episode crescendo brings a lively discussion on everything from music festivals to the unpredictable world of stocks and conspiracy theories. Imagine transformer trucks turning into banquet halls or debating the practicality of aristocratic cake dresses. We also share our plans for upcoming concerts and local events while navigating the responsibilities of pet priorities. With banter about karaoke and somersaults and a sprinkle of stock market strategies, we wrap up with a sincere appreciation for our camaraderie and shared passion for music and community.

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Ever tried capturing the best intro but ended up with hilarious chaos instead? That's exactly where our Funky Panther crew—Chad, Javier, and Tim—found themselves as they stumbled through a wildly entertaining session filled with laughs and candid moments. Starting off with a nostalgic trip back to when radio ruled our lives, we reminisced about the good old days with Disney Radio and Radio Oz. From spontaneous stories about hurricanes and swimming pools to winning games despite questionable decisions, we served up a hearty dose of unfiltered camaraderie and humor.

As we journeyed through the past, we couldn't resist revisiting our musical upbringing in Fort Worth, recalling quirky antics like recording songs on cassette tapes and sneaking glimpses of late-night TV. Our tales of State Fair magic painted a vibrant picture of fair food temptations and the thrill of nearly splurging on Cutco knives. We even indulged in some car talk, sharing dreams of new wheels amidst today's economic challenges. It was a light-hearted chat that evoked laughter, fond memories, and a sense of just how much we've evolved over the years.

Our culinary adventures took a delicious turn as we explored Italy's rich food scene, from savoring Michelin star dining with Massimo Bottura to reminiscing about Florence's wine windows. We shared personal travel tales filled with humor and sincerity, leading up to the excitement of our ACL weekend plans. With a potential live broadcast and a casual meetup on the horizon, we wrapped up the session with gratitude for our listeners and a promise of more lively updates and adventures. Stay good, and catch us soon from the Funky Panther team!

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Ever wondered how a simple game of catch can turn into a comedy goldmine? Find out as we embark on a chaotic and hilarious journey featuring our regular hosts Javier, Tim, and Jared from the Funky Panther. Joining us this time is Jared from the Tales from the Fort podcast, who steps in for Chad, currently globe-trotting in Italy. Jared's unfiltered storytelling and side-splitting anecdotes about playing catch, state fair adventures, and theme song fiascos promise non-stop laughter.

We also dive into some mouth-watering discussions about the best culinary spots in River Oaks, from Eduardo’s divine bakery treats like mini cheesecakes and pumpkin tres leches cake to the unbeatable breakfasts at River Oaks Cafe. Get our hot takes on the local burger scene, including the much-anticipated Lance Springs Beer Garden, and listen to our grilling debates—propane versus charcoal, pellet smokers, and the joy of backyard cookouts. We even share our experiences with pool installations and mattress haggling, proving that even the mundane can be entertaining.

But it's not all laughs and light-hearted banter. Prepare for a rollercoaster as we tackle some heavy topics, from the disturbing allegations against P. Diddy to the infamous legacies of Suge Knight and Kanye West. We share surreal family stories and the bizarre synchronicities that shape our lives, all while documenting our competitive “Tales from the Scale” weight loss challenge. With engaging social media content creation tips and a promise of more fun vlogs to come, this episode is packed with humor, intrigue, and unforgettable moments.

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Have you ever wondered how a girlfriend's crazy hairstyle could lead to an unforgettable night at a Bilmuri concert? We'll kick off this episode with some light-hearted banter and hilarious personal stories, from wild concerts to favorite video game memories with the Capcom Fighting Classics collection. We also catch up on local happenings, including Daddy Paul of Nexm Creative Media's new business venture, before diving into the eclectic and unique music of the band Bilmuri

Switching gears, we get our game face on for an enthusiastic sports chat, covering everything from TCU basketball's latest game to the Cowboys' impressive victory. Along the way, we'll compare the tunes of Post Malone and 303. We wrap our banter with movie talks, including the entertaining "Logan Lucky" and "Baby Driver," ensuring a mix of humor, sports, and cinema love.

Our family connections and tailgate plans segment celebrates an upcoming Cowboys tailgate, complete with The Ball Bag Podcast recording excitement and 19 years of tradition. We'll reveal a surprising family connection between Javier and John and even discuss the legal limits of gambling in Texas, with a funny twist about jaunts to Louisiana. From humorous anecdotes to heartfelt stories, this episode promises a rollercoaster of emotions and entertainment.

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