This episode is for every parent who has been called “blud”, “bro”, “NPC” or “mid” by a child they literally PUSHED OUT.

Welcome to the Gen Alpha Brain Rot Takeover — a completely unhinged, wildly accurate, slightly sleep-deprived survival guide for Millennial parents raising children who speak in random numbers, TikTok noises and cursed vibes.

Why are they whispering “6-7”?

Why are they growling instead of talking?

What in the name of Skibidi is a Fanum Tax?

And why do they keep saying GYAT in Tesco??

In this episode I deep-dive into:

• Gen Alpha slang (so you don’t feel like an old Victorian orphan)

• The brain rot epidemic nobody warned us about

• Why our kids are basically feral NPCs on side quests

• Millennial phrases we thought were elite (I’m looking at you, “peng” and “YOLO”)

• Public breakdowns, TikTok kids, and the emotional damage caused by a child whispering “sigma” behind you in Aldi

If your child has ever:

• T-posed in the hallway

• Called your outfit “mid”

• Said “Mum your aura is lagging”

• Or spoken in riddles like a tiny possessed philosopher

This episode is your safe space.

Pour a cuppa (or a wine), hide in the bathroom, and press play.

6-7. Skibidi. No cap. You’re gonna feel seen