This episode is for every parent who has been called “blud”, “bro”, “NPC” or “mid” by a child they literally PUSHED OUT.
Welcome to the Gen Alpha Brain Rot Takeover — a completely unhinged, wildly accurate, slightly sleep-deprived survival guide for Millennial parents raising children who speak in random numbers, TikTok noises and cursed vibes.
Why are they whispering “6-7”?
Why are they growling instead of talking?
What in the name of Skibidi is a Fanum Tax?
And why do they keep saying GYAT in Tesco??
In this episode I deep-dive into:
• Gen Alpha slang (so you don’t feel like an old Victorian orphan)
• The brain rot epidemic nobody warned us about
• Why our kids are basically feral NPCs on side quests
• Millennial phrases we thought were elite (I’m looking at you, “peng” and “YOLO”)
• Public breakdowns, TikTok kids, and the emotional damage caused by a child whispering “sigma” behind you in Aldi
If your child has ever:
• T-posed in the hallway
• Called your outfit “mid”
• Said “Mum your aura is lagging”
• Or spoken in riddles like a tiny possessed philosopher
This episode is your safe space.
Pour a cuppa (or a wine), hide in the bathroom, and press play.
6-7. Skibidi. No cap. You’re gonna feel seen