Dearly beloved we are gathered here, there, and everywhere podcasts are available, which is everywhere that internet is available, which hypothetically should be everywhere in the United States since the US taxpayers footed the $20 billion bill for the fiber optic wiring of the entire nation. Whoops, guess the check got lost in the mail—Hey! Just try telling that to the IRS this May. Seriously, if you do this you will get into some pretty deep trouble. What you need to do is say, “I am a sovereign citizen, and income tax is a tyrannical and unconstitutional practice”. Then start incoherently muttering about the national deficit as you frantically search the pockets of a coat you have hanging up in a closet. They should leave you be after that. Spread salt around the perimeter of your house, and listen to Fools Rush In by Elvis Presley 17 times in a row. Finally, with you forhead pressed to a baseball bat stood vertically on the ground begin to run circles around the bat while chanting "Mama Mia, Here I Go Again" until you pass out.

Thank you for coming. Please enjoy the ceremony.