The End Of Average, by Todd Rose, is a transformative book. Reading this short but super-informative book will change how you view the world forever.

Everything Should Be Measured Against the Average

There is an idea that has become hugely influential in modern times. It says that everything should be measured against the average. BMI, SAT, IQ, GPA, above average, below average etc.

Where do you fall in relation to the average??? I need to fit in! I must be average!

We live in an average-obsessed culture!

Average Norma

In the 1900s a gynaecologist measured 14,000 women and came up with ‘Norma’, the completely average, and therefore ideal woman.

Norma, who was a perfectly average specimen of womanhood in terms of her physical dimensions. She was invented to compare real women against in order to find out how they compared to the average. There was pressure to look like Norma.

A nationwide search began to try to find a real-life Norma. Magazines offered cash prizes to any woman who could come forward and demonstrate that she was… Norma.

Out of the thousands of women twho came forward. Not even one was close to being entirely Norma. Even when they allowed a margin of error of 30% on each of norma’s 9 key physical characteristics not even one woman compared. The closest they could find was a woman who had a similarity to Norma, give or take 30% in a mere 5 out the 9 key characteristics.

Norma well and truly did not exist. This phantom that haunted the minds of woman, this aspiration they held up, this ideal, was not a human form.

There was no average woman. The average did not exist.

Average Does Not Exist

Statistical averages can be helpful, but they are rigid and never give a full picture. They give a crude idea of what was true at one point in the past, of a group as a whole. But the average says nothing about the individuals that make up the group.

Statistics Are Not Static

A statistic is a snapshot of a moment in time. But there are so many factors that uniquely affect every moment in time.

’The Life-Changing Magic Of Not Giving A Fuck’ by Sarah Knight is a pop-psychology book that packs a punch.

 

It is written in a simple and breezy style that could put-off readers who are used to devouring denser prose.

 

But while the writing style is elementary and self-consciously millennial in its tone, and the book’s main message is one-dimensional and super-simple. It is a book that could have a very profound effect on the lives of those who read it.

 

How To Give Less Of A Fuck

 

The book’s main message is not original. It is a message that has been delivered in an infinity of ways, by an infinity of people over the millennia. But as any person with even the slightest touch of neuroticism (and, let’s face it, everybody else too) can attest, taking this key message to heart is difficult, often to the point of being unattainable!

 

So what is this key message??

 

The Life-Changing Magic Of Not Giving A Fuck tells its readers to decide what they don’t give a fuck about and to stop giving a fuck about those things. And the core message, underlying all of these fucks not given, the ultimate fuck that we would all benefit immeasurable from not giving…

We need to not give a fuck about how people judge us and think about us.

 

Stop Giving A Fuck About What People Think Of You

 

This is the key message of the book. And it’s as true now as has been every other time it’s be espoused, in slightly different ways, down the millennia.

 

Giving a fuck about the judgements of others is harmful to us and it takes a massive toll on our psychological well-being. It also often prevents us from living as we want to live, from truly being ourselves, and from doing what we really want to do with our one and only (all too brief) life.

 

So, a central message that is not new. Most readers, especially if they are at all familiar with the self-help genre, will have been told to not care what other people think about them quite a few times before.

 

Learning to be a master conversationalist will serve you very well in life. You will grow and become wise at a fast rate because your mind will be open and flexible. You will be loved and adored by other people because you will make them feel listened to and appreciated.

 

Louis Theroux is an example of a master conversationalist. In his BBC documentaries, he converses with a vast and diverse selection of people, who often demonstrate highly unusual personalities. He converses effectively in high-pressure situations, making people comfortable and unearthing their truth in a way that very few interviewers can.

 

Here is Louis Theroux – 6 ways to become a master conversationalist.

 

Listen You have two ears and one mouth. Have big ears! Listen well. Dave Rubin, Joe Rogan are excellent examples of great listeners.

 

Listening to somebody is often the greatest gift you can give them. Empathic listening is a method of listening developed by the great psychologist Carl Rogers.

 

If people feel heard, because they are being heard, then they will love being in conversation with you. Listening builds a profound connection with other people.

 

Ask Questions Every person on the planet is interesting in some way. Everybody has something to teach you. If you can’t find anything interesting about a person it says more about you than it does about them.

 

Asking questions gets people to open up, be real and divulge. Asking the right questions shows that you are listening. You learn when you ask questions.

 

Stop Needing to Win Or Be ‘Right’ Don’t be rigid, don’t have ego. Make sure you are not needing to appear or feel right or to win when conversing with others. A great conversation is not a battle, it is a shared experience. A good conversation should be win/win, a wonderful collaboration.

 

Actually Desire To Be

We humans find it all too easy to jump to conclusions and judge other people. Many of us have an unfortunate habit of passing judgment on other people’s inherent worth based on extremely scant evidence. Snobbishness is a mindset that too many of us too easily fall into.

 

We tend to judge people based on over-simplistic criteria. We see arbitrary features of other people, such as their taste in music, art, or food, as bad indictments on their overall character and quality as human beings.

 

Mistaking The Subjective For The Objective

 

We hold our own tastes and opinions to be sacrosanct and right. We mistake our preferences for objective truths, and privately consider them evidence of our noble, refined souls.

 

When another person’s tastes deviate from our own, we all too often judge the other person to be objectively wrong, foolish, and sometimes even an inferior quality human. This propensity to cast judgement and look down our nose snobbishly is an ugly part of human nature.

 

We believe that how we happen to see the world is; factually correct, and that other people should see the world in the same way we do. Neither of these beliefs is true. This is the pitfall of confusing taste for fact.

 

The Pitfall Of Confusing Taste For Fact

 

In reality, how we see the world is very often not factually correct or objectively accurate. Our view of reality is riddled with biases. We view reality through a dense fog of subjective stories, opinions, notions, and beliefs that have precious little connection to objective reality.

 

We spend much of our time (perhaps all of it) in a subjective dream state, utterly engrossed in the stories and dramas that exist only inside the pitch black interior of our respective craniums.

 

Therefore, given how thoroughly subjective the majority of our everyday experience is, there is absolutely no reason to expect other people’s experience of ‘reality’ to be similar to our own. Most people are tremendously unlikely to see the world in the same way that we do!

 

Everything Is Subjective

 

Bottom line, the vast majority of our tastes and opinions are merely subjective preferences, and not objective truths in any way, shape or form.

 

You may believe with all your heart that Sigur Ros makes more meaningful, interesting and BETTER music than Justin Bieber, or that Chopin is superior to Garth Brooks, but that is mere subjective preference. There are millions of people out there that pr...

Yuval Noah Harari is the bestselling author of Sapiens, Homo Deus and 21 Lessons For The 21st Century.

 

His first book, Sapiens, was a mega-hit. It chronicles the rise and development of homo sapiens from the earliest proto-humans to present-day suit-wearing, smartphone-using man/woman. Sapiens captured the imaginations of millions.

 

After exploring homo sapiens history Harari moved on to the present and future. Homo Deus is a fascinating book of educated speculation. It ponders what the future may hold for homo sapiens. It is an exquisitely well-written tome that acts as a stark warning but also brims with positivity. It suggests many ways things could go wrong, but also many ways things may go right.

 

Yuval Noah Harari’s latest book, 21 Lessons For The 21st Century, is a book about the present. In it, he discusses the current state of the world and the challenges we face now and moving forward. He talks about what we can do now and recommends ways of being that will give us the best chance of self-actualizing, as individuals, and as a global family.

 

Some of the most interesting parts of Homo Deus and 21 Lessons For The 21st Century are Harari’s predictions for how the future will look.

 

Here are 5 imminent changes to the world, as predicted by Yuval Noah Harari.

 

Work As We Know It Will Not Exist

In the not very distant future many jobs will become obsolete. Artificial intelligence will do most jobs better, more efficiently, and more cheaply than any human being can.

 

Due to the exponential increase in the power of AI more and more jobs will be lost to robots as we move into the future. The notion of doing one job for an entire lifetime will be gone. Frequent career changes will become the norm and a necessity for every member of the workforce.

 

Education will need to change.

The things we believe about the world, life, and ourselves have a giant impact on us. Certain beliefs help us to get on in life, to be happy and do well. While other beliefs hold us back, making us anxious, depressed and ineffective.

 

It is very helpful to weed our mental garden regularly. We can do this by finding harmful beliefs, pulling them up by the roots, and discarding them.

 

Life is better when the beliefs we hold are rational, wholesome, and beneficial. There are some common beliefs, held by great swathes of the population, that tend to hold people back. It is good to become aware of these common harmful beliefs and to jettison them. Even merely becoming aware of harmful beliefs you hold can usually lessen their negative impact.

 

Here are 9 beliefs that will ruin your life… but only if you let them.

 

The World is Going To Hell in a Handbasket It is common to hear in the news media that the world is an awful, and only getting worse. When we believe this we tend to feel depressed and anxious. It feels like our actions and efforts are pointless.

 

If, on the other hand, we choose to notice the myriad ways in which the world has improved and is still improving, we can feel much more positive. Steven Pinker’s ‘Enlightenment Now’ and Hans Rosling’s ‘Factfulness’ are excellent books that chart the many ways in which the world is better now than ever before. Reading these books dispels the notion that the world is going to hell in a handbasket.

 

Realizing that we live at a great time in history and that the world is improving in so many ways, allows us to appreciate how lucky we are and to have the confidence to move forward with our plans.

 

Interpersonal Rejection is Lethal When we catastrophize interpersonal rejection we live small lives, full of anxiety and fear. We don’t take risks. We don’t ask for what we want. We shelter and cower. We avoid reaching out and connecting with other humans.

Doc G is a personal finance blogger and medical doctor from Chicago, Illinois. On his excellent blog DiverseFI.com he writes about personal finance, achieving financial independence, as well as about big life issues such as making your dreams come true, motivation, and how to be happy.

 

In this episode of the Good Life Guys we discuss life in general, and specifically the thrilling topic of achieving financial independence with DiverseFI.com.

 

What Is Financial Independence?

 

Financial Independence, or FI for short, simply means having enough wealth saved and ideally intelligently invested to allow you to work when you want to and on your own terms, or even to choose not to do any paid work at all.

 

And it’s not as tall an order as it first sounds. Everybody can achieve FI if they spend less than they earn and save the difference. The only question is how long the journey takes…

 

Once a person has enough saved that they can live off 4% of the entire sum of their savings each year, then numerous studies show they will never run out of money. This is because the stock market, and therefore their intelligently invested savings, on average rises by 6% yearly. So your portfolio never runs out!

 

So, for example, if you can live off £20,000 a year, then you need to save £500,000 to be officially FI. If you save and invest £20,000 a year and let compound interest do its work, you will have approximately £500,000 in 15 years. Bingo!

 

Obviously, it’s no easy task for most people to save £20,000 a year. This is where frugality comes in. Being frugal means to be careful with your money and to not spend it on things you really don’t need.

 

The Joys Of Being Frugal

 

We live in a world in which we are being marketed to all the time. We are constantly being told that we need to spend all our money (on junk) in order t...

Phil Knight is the founder and owner of the most successful sportswear brand on Earth; Nike. His book, Shoe Dog: A Memoir by the Creator of NIKE, details his extraordinary life and rise to monumental business success.

 

The book in packed with interesting anecdotes and invaluable success principles.

 

Here are 10 business rules to ensure success gleaned from Shoe Dog: A Memoir by the Creator of NIKE by Phil Knight.

 

There Are Many Paths To Success

The voices in your head saying you must have this or that trait to achieve success are merely resistance!

 

Phil Knight was a shy, nervous guy with some strange physical ticks. He was bad at sales and an introvert. Many people would assume that with these traits business success would prove elusive.

 

But Phil Knight proved that even as an introvert with weird ticks it is still possible to achieve success. His passion got him over the line. He managed to get things done his way.

 

Even with your flaws and imperfections, success is achievable. There are many ways to skin a cat.

 

Business Success Is Ugly and Painful!

Most people are not willing to make the sacrifices necessary to achieve massive business success.

 

Phil Knight worked constantly. As an accountant during the day and slaving away making Nike a success in the early mornings and late at night.

 

He sacrificed time with his wife and children.  He experienced huge stress and anxiety. And he barely slept.

 

The price of massive business success is extremely steep. Most people are not truly willing to pay it. Are you?

 

Maintain Your Health and Fitness

Physical fitness is sacrosanct. Phil Knight went for a long run every day, no matter how full his schedule. On his run, he would often come up with solutions to business problems. He would always feel more mentally clear and relaxed after running.

 

Exercise is a massive destressor and it promotes mental clarity. Never sacrifice your health and fitness. Business success is much more likely to come if you prioritize keeping your body and mind in top condition.

 

Honesty Will Win the War, But Sometimes To Win The Battle You Must Lie

In this episode, we interview a young, up-and-coming comedian called Andrew White. Andrew is from Salisbury in the UK and is a mere 18 years old.

Andrew’s career has taken off like a rocket and he has had two sold-out solo shows at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival.

Andrew makes tons of fascinating points that are relevant to comedians and laypeople alike.

Outcome Dependence and Anxiety

Andrew has always been a performer. At school, he loved acting and performing in musicals. So when he started stand-up comedy, stage fright was not much of an issue. He just enjoyed the freedom and power of having an empty stage all to himself!

But as he became more successful anxiety crept in. As he made more of a name for himself the pressure increased. He became more concerned with whether his material was ‘working’ or not.

The more concerned we are with the outcome of our actions, the more anxiety we feel. To alleviate anxiety try to see the world as a playground, and your actions in it as play.

The Utility of Confidence (and of Insecurity)

Some comedians do well because they have a ton of self-belief and confidence. Others do well because they are insecure about their work and so try enormously hard to do it perfectly.

Confidence, or a lack thereof, can be harnessed in such a way as to bring success. Accept, and even appreciate, your specific strengths and weaknesses.

The Importance of Business Knowledge and Hustle

Most comedians who achieve success have a solid understanding of business. They know how to hustle, sell themselves, and build connections.

Even with modest talent, one can achieve great things if they develop business nous and hustle hard.

Andrew White & Ignoring Negative Thoughts

As a comedian, it is very easy to second-guess yourself. Doubt creeps in regularly.

It’s cyclical. Most comedians pass through cycles of confidence, excitement, doubt,

Russell Brand originally became famous as a television presenter and comedian. He still does stand-up but has replaced TV presenting with podcast-hosting. His excellent podcast tackles big philosophical, spiritual and political issues. A master seducer, his techniques fly in the face of the pickup community, yet their efficacy cannot be denied. He is the embodiment of the misconception of attraction.

Brand has moved from discussing light, fluffy topics on TV to tackling heavy, deep topics on his podcast. However, he has maintained his ability to flirt masterfully. Brand displays a flamboyant charisma that reduces women (and very often men) to giggling blushing schoolgirls.

Russell Brand is masterfully eloquent, engaging and warm. And most of all he is honest. He has the confidence to say what is on his mind and be real.

Here is how Russell Brand reveals the misconception of attraction.

Russell Brand is a Master Flirter

A potent combination of charisma, warmth, eloquence, and honesty makes Russell Brand a master flirter. Watching him in action provides a masterclass in flirting skills. Noticing his flirting techniques and the responses they elicit is an invaluable learning experience for any man.

Russell Brand is a ‘Natural’

A ‘natural’ is a man who can flirt effortlessly and naturally with women. Flirting is easy for a ‘natural’, it’s second nature.

Russell Brand certainly has the hallmarks of a ‘natural’. But he may not be…

Many men who appear to be naturals are actually demonstrating behaviours they have learned so thoroughly that they have become a part of who they are. These men have reached ‘natural’ status by learning, incorporating and mastering skills over a long period of time.

Whether or not Russell Brand is a ‘natural’, or a man who learned skills so thoroughly that he seems like a ‘natural’ is interesting but ultimately moot. We can learn from Russell Brand either way.

It is important to realise that if you are not a ‘natural’, as most men are not, flirting skills can be learned and incorporated to such an extent that you, for all intents and purposes, actually become a natural.

The Game Community Teaches How To Pickup Women

Many men look to the internet to learn how to attract women. The Game community (named after Neil Strauss book ‘The Game’) exists to teach men how to be better with women.

The Game community has many gurus. And many of them teach excellently.

The Game community helps millions of men to improve their lives. But few men in the community have the natural charisma of Russell Brand. The Game community, by its very nature,