Here with You, Mama

The Good Mother Trap: Why You Can't Stop Sacrificing Yourself (And How It's Hurting Your Kids)

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Hi love, welcome back to Here With You, Mama.


Today’s episode dives into a pattern that runs deep for so many mothers: the belief that being a “good mom” means disappearing. We’ll talk about how maternal conditioning and intergenerational trauma in motherhood have taught generations of women to measure their worth through selflessness, endurance, and quiet suffering.

If you’ve ever felt guilty for resting, eating, or taking a breath for yourself, this episode will help you understand why, and how to begin rewriting that pattern with compassion and awareness.

In This Episode, We’ll Explore: 
  • How internalized patriarchal motherhood norms shape our understanding of what it means to be a “good mother.”

  • The ways nervous system dysregulation in moms keeps you in survival mode, constantly scanning for everyone else’s needs while ignoring your own.

  • The connection between mom burnout and cortisol, chronic stress, and emotional exhaustion.

  • Why your amygdala response and mom guilt trigger feelings of danger when you try to rest or prioritize yourself.

  • How neuroplasticity and motherhood give you the power to rewire these old beliefs and create a calmer, more balanced family system.

  • The difference between selflessness and maternal identity, and how true love requires presence, not self-erasure.

  • How cognitive rewiring for mothers helps you break free from guilt and start modeling self-worth for your children.

  • Why unhealed patterns of maternal mental load and emotional regulation can quietly pass from one generation to the next, and what to do to stop that cycle.

    • You are not a better mother because you disappear. You are a better mother because you’re human, because you rest, because you allow your children to see what it looks like when a woman values her own needs. Breaking the Good Mother Trap isn’t selfish, it’s an act of generational healing.

    Episode Highlights
    • How generational beliefs about “good motherhood” form through maternal conditioning.

    • Why your body’s survival patterns were never meant to guide your parenting.

    • Simple nervous system practices to begin shifting out of self-sacrifice and back into connection.

    • Real client stories that show how choosing yourself teaches your kids resilience, empathy, and balance.
      • Listen Mama, If You’re Asking: 
      • “Why do I feel guilty when I rest?”

      • “How can I stop putting myself last?”

      • “Why does self-care feel unsafe for me?”

      • “How can I teach my kids that mothers matter too?”

        • You’ll Walk Away With: 

        A deeper understanding of how your brain and body learned to equate goodness with self-denial, and the tools to begin rewiring your nervous system toward safety, joy, and self-worth. You’ll learn that every small act of care for yourself is an act of love for your children, too.

         

        If this episode resonated, share it with another mama who’s ready to break free from burnout and rediscover her worth.

        Follow along at @HereWithYouMama for daily support and reflections on grounded, compassionate motherhood.

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        Here with You, MamaBy Dina Tamres