Here with You, Mama

Here with You, Mama

By Dina TamresHealth & FitnessMental HealthEducationSelf-ImprovementParentingKids & Family
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Here with You, Mama episodes

  • What to Do When Rage Hits in Motherhood: A Gentle, Therapist-Led Framework

    Do you ever feel like you can’t get through a day of motherhood without snapping, yelling, or feeling completely out of control inside your body?

    Do you find yourself sacrificing your sense of calm, safety, or even self-recognition just to make it through the endless crying, touching, noise, and demands?

    What if instead of believing something is wrong with you, you could understand exactly why rage is showing up, and know what to do when it does?

    It’s possible.

    And it’s not because you need more self-control, patience, or willpower.

    In this episode, I’m going to walk you through what postpartum rage actually is, why it’s so common (even though no one talks about it), and how to respond in a way that reduces shame and helps your nervous system settle, rather than explode.

    If you’re like most mothers in early motherhood, you want to feel calm, connected, and loving… but instead you feel depleted, overstimulated, and terrified by the intensity of your anger.

    In today’s episode, I share:

    • Why postpartum rage is a nervous system survival response, not a personal failure

    • What your anger is actually trying to tell you

    • A gentle, therapist-led framework you can use in the moment when rage hits

    • How to repair after snapping at your baby or partner, without drowning in guilt

    • What may be underneath the rage, including unmet needs, perfectionism, and burnout

      • This is not about suppressing your anger.

      It’s about learning how to listen to it safely.

      Whether your rage shows up during sleep deprivation, overstimulation, or moments that scare you afterward. Whether you feel ashamed, confused, or afraid of your own reactions

      You can learn to work with your nervous system instead of fighting it, and begin responding to anger with clarity, compassion, and support.

      This episode will help you feel less alone, less broken, and more equipped the next time rage rises.

      With so much gentleness,

      Dina

       

      Loved this episode?! Let’s keep the conversation going 💛

      • Come say hi on Instagram: @herewithyoumama

      • Share this episode with a mama who needs to hear she’s not alone

      • Leave a review so more mothers can find this support

        • You don’t have to carry this by yourself.

        I’m here with you.

        Transcript for this episode

         

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        17 min
      • Decision Fatigue in Motherhood: How to Stop Second-Guessing Yourself and Trust Your Instincts Again

        Do you feel like you can’t make even the smallest parenting decision without spiraling or needing reassurance?

        Are you constantly researching, polling friends, Googling, or replaying decisions long after they’re made, just to make sure you didn’t get it “wrong”?

        What if instead, you could make decisions calmly, confidently, and trust yourself again… even in the messy, high-stakes moments of motherhood?

        It’s possible.

        And no, you don’t need to become a different version of yourself to get there.

        In today’s episode, I’m sharing what’s actually happening inside your nervous system when decision fatigue takes over, and how to gently come back to your own inner wisdom.

        If you’re like most new or early-stage moms, you deeply want to do right by your baby… but you’re exhausted by the constant second guessing, overthinking, and mental load that comes with motherhood.

        In this episode, I walk you through:

        • Why decision fatigue after baby feels so intense

        • How anxious and perfectionist “parts” show up to protect you

        • A simple Internal Family Systems–informed framework you can use in real time

        • Practical tools to help you make decisions from calm instead of fear

          • You’ll also hear real examples of common spirals (sleep, feeding, milestones), and how to move through them without losing yourself.

          Whether you feel paralyzed by small decisions, overwhelmed by conflicting advice, or disconnected from the confident woman you used to be…

          You can rebuild self-trust in motherhood and learn to make decisions without the exhausting spiral.

          This episode will help you understand that you’re not broken, you’re responding exactly as a deeply loving, protective mother would… and show you how to come back to yourself.

          Let’s do this.

          Dina

           

          Loved this episode? Let’s keep the conversation going 💛

          • Join the Here With You, Mama community
            • • Say hi over on Instagram @herewithyoumama
            • Learn more about working together inside Here With You, Mama
            • Share this episode with a mama who’s stuck in the decision spiral
            • Leave a review, it helps more moms find support

            I’m here with you. Always.

            Transcript for this episode

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            13 min
          • New Year, New Mom? A New Way to Thrive in Early Motherhood

            If the New Year has you feeling exhausted, behind, and overwhelmed instead of motivated, this episode is for you.

            In this episode, Dina (trauma therapist and maternal mental health specialist), speaks directly to new moms navigating early motherhood, postpartum overwhelm, and the intense New Year pressure that often hits after having a baby. Instead of “New Year, New Me,” this conversation offers a gentler, research-informed approach centered on support, presence, and thriving, not perfection or productivity.

            In This Episode, We Talk About:
            • Why early motherhood is an identity shift, not a motivation problem

            • How New Year pressure fuels postpartum overwhelm and burnout

            • The difference between surviving motherhood and thriving in it

            • Why traditional resolutions don’t work for new moms

            • What “good enough motherhood” really means

            • How emotional support helps moms feel present, grounded, and connected

            • Why support, not willpower, is the key to enjoying early motherhood

              • You Don’t Need a New You, You Need Support

              Thriving in motherhood isn’t about becoming someone different. It’s about learning how to navigate this transition with tools that work with your nervous system, not against it.

              Dina shares how mothers move from overwhelmed and disconnected to grounded, present, and able to genuinely enjoy their babies, through small, realistic practices and emotional support that fits real life.

              Enrollment Is Now Open: Here With You, Mama

              Dina also announces that enrollment is open for the Here With You, Mama Course, an eight-week support program designed to help new moms:

              • Move from surviving to thriving

              • Reduce postpartum overwhelm and anxiety

              • Build emotional connection with their baby

              • Feel confident, grounded, and supported

              • Stop doing motherhood alone

                • 👉 Learn more at postpartumworkshops.com

                Follow for more support: instagram.com/herewithyoumama

                 

                Transcript for this episode

                 

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                14 min
              • How to Reduce Holiday Stress as a Mom: Realistic Tips for Presence and Joy

                If your December already feels like a never-ending to-do list: cookie recipes, gift lists, holiday photos, school parties, Elf on the Shelf ideas… you are not alone, love. In this episode, we’re talking about the invisible holiday mental load that so many moms carry: the pressure to make everything magical, memorable, and “perfect”… even if it leaves you exhausted and snappy with the very people you’re doing it all for.

                Together, we’ll slow down, take a breath, and get really honest about why the holidays feel so overwhelming for moms, and what you can do differently this year. I’ll walk you through a simple, practical process to sort through your holiday tasks, set realistic boundaries, share the load with your partner, and choose what actually matters for you and your family.

                Instead of waking up on January 3rd feeling like you missed the whole season because you were too busy managing it, my hope is that you’ll remember laughter, connection, and moments you were truly present for, with your kids, and with yourself.

                In today’s episode, we talk about:
                • Holiday overwhelm for moms and why December hits so differently when you’re carrying the mental load for everyone

                • The invisible load of motherhood during the holidays (and why you feel it the moment the Christmas decor hits Target)

                • Holiday mental load for moms: all the unseen planning, tracking, remembering, and managing that no one else notices

                • How perfectionism in motherhood shows up in December: Pinterest cookies, matching pajamas, elaborate elf setups… and quietly drains your joy

                • Mom guilt during the holidays and why “I should be grateful” isn’t the whole story

                • The difference between real gratitude and toxic positivity when you’re overwhelmed

                • Why the holidays feel so overwhelming as a mom, especially for high-achieving, do-it-all women

                • How to create holiday memories without burning out or resenting all the work behind them

                • A grounding exercise to picture yourself on January 3rd and decide what you actually want to remember about this season

                • A simple, compassionate way to reduce the mental load during the holidays—without giving up what matters most
                  • Practical tools you’ll hear in this episode:
                  • A 5-category list exercise to go through every holiday task and sort it into:

                    • Things that genuinely bring you joy
                    • Things that genuinely bring your kids joy
                    • Things you’re doing out of obligation or expectation
                    • Things that could be simplified or delegated
                    • Things that could be eliminated entirely

                    • How to simplify Christmas as a busy mom

                    • What it looks like to choose three core holiday activities that truly matter to your family, and let the rest be optional

                    • How to set holiday boundaries with family and friends without over-explaining or drowning in guilt

                    • A script you can use to say: “That sounds lovely, but we can’t make it work this year.”

                    • How to have an honest holiday division-of-labor conversation with your partner, including the mental load, not just the physical tasks

                    • Examples of holiday tasks moms can let go of and what you can do instead

                    • How to ask, in real time:

                      • “Is this adding to our joy or stealing from it?”
                      • “Is this creating the memories I want… or creating stress that will overshadow everything else?”

                      • How to be more present with your kids during the holidays, even if your schedule is still full

                      • Why calm and connection might be the greatest gifts you can give your family this year
                        • Gentle reminders from this episode:
                        • You are not responsible for single-handedly creating Christmas magic for everyone in your life.

                        • Your kids don’t need a perfect holiday; they need a present, emotionally available mom.

                        • Good enough truly can be more than enough: for you, for them, and for the memories you’re building.

                        • Letting go of some tasks isn’t failure; it’s honoring your capacity and modeling healthy limits for your children.

                          • Take a deep breath, mama. You don’t have to earn the holidays by doing it all. You’re already making them magical, simply by being you.

                           

                          Connect with me on Instagram: @herewithyoumama

                          Transcript for this episode

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                          22 min
                        • Toxic Positivity in Motherhood: How to Practice Real, Grounded Gratitude

                          Hi, love. As we head into Thanksgiving week, I want to talk about a motherhood truth that so many of us carry but rarely say out loud: the pressure to “just be grateful.”

                          You know the moments.

                          You’re running on no sleep.
                          You’re touched out.
                          Your toddler is melting down over the color of their cup.

                          And someone says, “But you’re so blessed. You should be grateful.”

                          Or worse: you say it to yourself.

                          Today, we’re unpacking the difference between real, grounded gratitude and the toxic positivity that so often masquerades as gratitude in motherhood. Because gratitude is powerful… but only when it’s rooted in truth, not shame.

                          Inside the episode, we explore what healthy gratitude actually looks like, why forced positivity doesn’t work, and how to hold the both and that every mother deserves to experience:

                           “I’m overwhelmed… and I’m grateful.”

                          “This is so hard… and I love my children fiercely.”

                          You’ll learn how to stop gaslighting yourself, how to validate your own feelings without guilt, and how to build a gratitude practice that nourishes your emotional wellbeing instead of bypassing your reality.

                          This one is tender, honest, and deeply needed for the mamas who feel pressure to be thankful even when life feels heavy.

                          What You’ll Hear in This Episode
                          1. What toxic positivity looks like in motherhood

                          Why moms are taught to hide their frustration and how “just be grateful” becomes emotional silencing.

                          2. The truth about real gratitude

                          How genuine gratitude is born after acknowledging what’s hard, not instead of it.

                          3. The “burnt toast” metaphor

                          A simple way to understand why dismissing your hard feelings doesn’t make you more grateful, it makes you feel unseen.

                          4. The magic of both-and thinking

                          How to hold two truths at once, even when they seem contradictory.

                          5. Signs you’re performing gratitude instead of feeling it

                          Including the subtle ways you may be gaslighting yourself.

                          6. Practical tools for grounded gratitude

                          Micro-moments, honest reflection, safe spaces, and practices to actually support your emotional capacity.

                          7. How to navigate gratitude during the holidays

                          Especially when family dynamics, exhaustion, or stress make the season feel heavier than you expected.

                          Takeaways for the Week
                          • You can be grateful and struggling at the same time.
                          • Your frustration never cancels out your love.
                          • Gratitude is strongest when it’s built on honesty.
                          • You don’t have to bypass your feelings to be a “good mom.”
                          • You’re allowed to tell the whole truth of your motherhood experience, especially during the holidays.

                            •  

                            🎧 Listen to Episode 25: Toxic Positivity in Motherhood

                            💛 Save this for the days you feel like you “should” be grateful
                            💬 Message me with your questions or reflections. I love hearing from you, mama

                            Transcript for today’s episode

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                            18 min
                          • There Is No One Right Way to Raise a Child: What Global Parenting Teaches Us About Mom Guilt

                            Hi love, welcome back to Here With You, Mama. Today’s episode might feel like a breath you didn’t know you were holding.

                            We’re exploring a question so many mothers quietly wrestle with:

                            If every culture parents differently, and if children thrive across wildly different approaches… then why are we still chasing the illusion of a “perfect” mother?

                            In this conversation, we travel around the world to Denmark, Japan, France, various African cultures, and Pacific Island communities, to highlight how dramatically parenting norms shift based on culture, environment, values, and tradition. Sleep practices, feeding philosophies, independence, co-sleeping, baby wearing, discipline, socialization, schedules… every country does it differently.

                            And yet their children grow up healthy, secure, and deeply loved.

                            This episode pulls back the curtain on the truth most mothers never hear:

                            There is no universal gold standard for parenting.
                            There is no one right way to mother.
                            There is only the way that fits your child, your family, and your values.

                            You’ll hear stories from my work with clients, emotional reflections on comparison, and practical guidance for releasing the guilt that comes from feeling like you’re “not doing it right.”

                            My hope is that you leave today feeling lighter, more grounded, and more confident in the mother you already are.

                            In This Episode, You’ll Learn:
                            1. Why global parenting norms completely contradict each other

                            We explore outdoor naps in Denmark, co-sleeping in Japan, baby wearing in African cultures, French food philosophy, and Pacific Island approaches to toddler independence, and how these differences reveal a critical truth: There is no single correct approach to raising a child.

                            2. How cultural expectations shape our ideas about “good motherhood”

                            You’ll learn why so many moms feel like they’re failing, even when they’re doing everything right, and how comparison intensifies guilt in the age of social media.

                            3. Why your child’s uniqueness matters more than any parenting method

                            Temperament, developmental needs, sensory differences, and family structure all influence what actually works for your child.

                            4. How to begin trusting your instincts instead of outside opinions

                            We talk about making decisions from intuition, values, capacity, and connection, not pressure or fear.

                            5. Why the myth of the perfect mother doesn’t exist anywhere in the world

                            And how letting go of this impossible standard opens the door to more joy, presence, and confidence in motherhood.

                            Key Takeaways
                            • Comparison is the real thief of peace in motherhood.
                            • You are the expert on your child (not Instagram, not experts, not your mom group).
                            • Every culture has its own beliefs about what makes a “good mother,” which means none of them are absolute truths.
                            • Parenting is an evolving practice, not a test with a scorecard.
                            • Your child needs you, not perfection.
                            • The diversity of motherhood across the world is a strength, not a problem.
                            • You already are the perfect mother for your child.

                              • If You’re Struggling With Mom Guilt, Comparison, or Feeling Like You’re Doing It Wrong…

                              This episode will feel like a permission slip to exhale.

                              To trust yourself.
                              To soften.
                              To take back the power you’ve given to outside standards.

                              You’re not alone, mama. And you’re not failing: you’re learning, adapting, and doing the best you can with what you have. And that is more than enough.

                              Links & Resources

                              🎧 Listen to past episodes on mom guilt, emotional load, and identity:

                              • Working Mom Guilt
                              • The Mental Load of Motherhood
                              • The Myth That Motherhood Should Complete You
                              • Why Motherhood Feels Hard for High Achievers

                                • 💛 Connect with me on Instagram: @herewithyoumama

                                💛 Download the Grounded Mama Checklist
                                💛 Join the Here With You, Mama community

                                If this episode spoke to you…

                                Please take a moment to rate, review, and share the podcast.

                                Your words help other moms find this kind of support when they need it most.

                                And remember, love:

                                You are the perfect mother for your child. Not because you do it all right, but because you show up, love deeply, and try your best.

                                I’m here with you. Always. 💛

                                 

                                Transcript for this episode

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                                18 min
                              • Working Mom Guilt: Why It Hurts So Much (and What Your Baby Really Needs)

                                If you’ve ever cried after daycare drop-off or felt that ache in your chest while scrolling through baby photos at work, this episode is for you. Today we’re talking about working mom guilt, daycare grief, and the truth behind what your baby really needs to form a secure attachment, even when you’re away during the day.

                                You’ll hear the science of attachment theory and motherhood explained in a compassionate, research-backed way,  reminding you that your love, attunement, and emotional presence matter far more than how many hours you spend together. We'll unpack the both/and of this season:

                                You can love your job and miss your baby.
                                You can feel fulfilled by your career and still grieve the moments you're not there.
                                You can feel like you're doing everything, and still feel like it's not enough.

                                This episode is a warm hug and a gentle reframe for any mama navigating the emotional terrain of working motherhood, daycare separation anxiety, and postpartum guilt.

                                In This Episode, We Talk About:
                                • Why working mom guilt is so common (and so real)

                                • What attachment research actually says about babies and daycare

                                • How to emotionally reconnect after a long workday

                                • What it means to be a "good mom" when you're also working full time

                                • Grieving the moments you’re missing without spiraling into shame

                                • Practical ways to find small moments of self-care and connection

                                • Normalizing the both/and of working mom life: grief, gratitude, guilt, and growth

                                • Why your child knows, in their bones, that you are their mama
                                  • Whether You’re…
                                  • A first-time mom returning to work after maternity leave

                                  • A full-time working mom struggling with daycare drop-off guilt

                                  • A stay-at-home mom wondering if you made the right choice

                                  • A high-achieving woman feeling torn between passion and presence

                                    • …this episode will help you feel seen, soothed, and supported: exactly where you are.

                                    If this episode brought you relief or resonance, share it with a friend or tag @herewithyoumama on Instagram. I’m so glad to be walking this path with you, mama.

                                    🎧 Listen now on Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Amazon Music

                                    🧡 Follow, rate, and leave a review (it helps more mamas find this support.)
                                    📥 Download the Grounded Mama Checklist at herewithyoumama.com

                                    Transcript for this episode

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                                    15 min
                                  • The Myth That Motherhood Should Complete You (and What to Do Instead)

                                    Hi love. In today’s episode, we’re unpacking one of the quietest, most shame-filled truths of modern motherhood: the myth that motherhood should be enough to complete you.

                                    Whether you’re a stay-at-home mom missing pieces of your old identity or a working mom wondering why the juggle doesn’t feel fulfilling, this conversation is for you. We talk about the guilt that surfaces when motherhood doesn’t fill every corner of your soul, and why that doesn’t mean something’s wrong with you.

                                    You can love your baby fiercely and still long for meaning, purpose, and fulfillment beyond motherhood. That longing isn’t selfish, it’s human.

                                    This episode will help you release the shame, understand the deeper identity shifts happening beneath the surface, and take practical steps to rediscover yourself without guilt.

                                    In This Episode, We Talk About:

                                    • Stay-at-home mom guilt and the loss of identity

                                    • Working mom struggles and fulfillment beyond your career

                                    • The myth that motherhood should “complete” you

                                    • Redefining purpose, success, and wholeness after baby

                                    • How to reconnect with the parts of you that feel missing

                                    • Emotional healing for moms who feel lost or restless

                                    • Permission to want more, and how that makes you a better mother, not a worse one
                                      • Key Takeaways
                                      • Loving your baby deeply and needing more are not contradictions.

                                      • You were a whole, complex person before motherhood, and those parts still matter.

                                      • Resentment often points to unmet needs, not lack of gratitude.

                                      • Wholeness comes from honoring all parts of who you are, not erasing yourself.

                                      • Your child benefits most when you feel fulfilled and alive, not hollowed out by guilt.

                                        • Listen now wherever you get your podcasts: Here With You, Mama 💛

                                        If today’s episode spoke to your heart, share it with another mama who needs to know she’s not alone.

                                        Follow @herewithyoumama for more IFS-informed mindset shifts, emotional support, and motherhood truths that remind you:

                                        You’re not lost, you’re becoming.

                                        Transcript for this episode

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                                        16 min
                                      • You’re Not Broken: Healing Birth Trauma and Learning to Feel Safe Again

                                        Hi, love. If you’ve ever walked away from birth feeling grateful your baby is healthy, but deeply shaken inside, this episode is for you.

                                        In You’re Not Broken: Healing Birth Trauma and Learning to Feel Safe Again, we explore what actually happens in your nervous system after a traumatic birth, why it can feel impossible to “just be grateful,” and how your body’s survival responses are not signs of weakness, they’re proof that your system is still trying to protect you.

                                        You’ll learn the difference between emotional trauma and physical safety, how birth trauma can silence joy and connection, and why understanding your biology brings so much compassion and relief. We’ll talk about somatic healing, IFS-informed emotional work, and the small, body-based practices that help you begin to feel safe again, because your nervous system isn’t broken. It’s just waiting for safety to return.

                                        If you’ve been feeling numb, disconnected, or haunted by your birth story, you’re not alone. Healing is possible, and your body remembers how.

                                        Today We’re Talking About:
                                        • What birth trauma really is (and how it differs from the “hard birth” narrative)

                                        • How the amygdala, stress hormones, and fight-flight-freeze response shape your postpartum experience

                                        • Why “just be grateful” invalidates trauma, and what to say instead

                                        • The role of neuroplasticity in healing the maternal brain

                                        • How co-regulation and safe relationships help the nervous system recover

                                        • Practical ways to calm your body after birth trauma using breath, grounding, and gentle movement

                                        • Tools from IFS therapy, EMDR, and somatic experiencing for deeper integration

                                        • The truth about grief after birth: mourning what was lost while loving what you have

                                          • Whether your birth looked “perfect” on paper or completely spiraled out of control, whether you’re months postpartum or years down the road, this episode will help you understand what your body’s been trying to tell you all along:

                                          You’re not broken, you’re healing.
                                          And your nervous system knows the way home.

                                          Let’s do this, mama.


                                          Warmly, 

                                          Dina

                                          Loved this episode?! Let’s keep the connection going:

                                          ✨ Follow @herewithyoumama on Instagram
                                          💌 Share this episode with a mama who needs to hear she’s not broken
                                          🎧 Subscribe to Here With You, Mama for weekly episodes that bring science, self-compassion, and support to your motherhood journey
                                          ⭐ Leave a review if this helped you feel seen, it means the world and helps more mamas find this space

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                                          17 min
                                        • You're Not Falling Apart, You're Transforming: The Sacred Truth About Motherhood No One Tells You

                                          Hi love. Welcome back to Here With You, Mama.

                                          This is our 20th episode together. Twenty conversations about the raw, real, and sacred transformation that happens when you become a mother.

                                          If you’ve ever felt like you were falling apart in early motherhood, this episode is here to remind you: you’re not falling apart, you’re transforming.

                                          Motherhood isn’t a return to who you were. It’s a total cellular, emotional, and spiritual reorganization of who you’re becoming. From the “chrysalis soup” of postpartum identity loss to the sacred rebirth of your new self, this episode explores the truth about what’s really happening beneath the surface when everything feels like it’s unraveling.

                                          Together, we’ll explore how to honor the grief of your old identity, embrace the sacred mess of becoming, and recognize that every sleepless night, tear, and tender moment is reshaping you into the mother you were always meant to be.

                                          Because you’re not broken. You’re breaking open. 

                                          Today’s Episode Highlights: 

                                          • The sacred psychology of matrescence: why motherhood feels like both an ending and a beginning

                                          • What neuroscience reveals about maternal brain rewiring and emotional intensity after birth

                                          • How grief, rage, and overwhelm are part of your cellular transformation

                                          • The ancient wisdom of the sacred window, and why you can’t “bounce back”

                                          • The difference between breaking down and breaking open

                                          • Why the mess is the transformation

                                          • Tiny rituals to honor your becoming

                                          • How to find sisterhood in a culture that glorifies independence

                                            • Today’s Takeaways: 

                                            • You’re not alone. Every mother goes through a version of this transformation.

                                            • Your emotions have purpose. Postpartum intensity is a sign of deep rewiring, not failure.

                                            • You can’t rush becoming. Growth takes time, space, and gentleness.

                                            • The mess is holy. Every hard moment is shaping new strength, depth, and compassion.

                                            • You are becoming. You’re not getting your life back, you’re growing a new one.

                                              • If you’re ready for deeper support through this sacred transformation, explore the Here With You, Mama Coaching Program: an 8-week IFS-informed journey to help you feel grounded, connected, and emotionally whole through motherhood’s becoming.

                                              Follow @herewithyoumama on Instagram for daily reminders that you’re not alone in this season of transformation

                                              Transcript for this episode

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                                              17 min

                                            About Here with You, Mama

                                            From the publisher's feed

                                            Where thoughtful, intentional women find grounded emotional support in pregnancy, postpartum, and early motherhood.