People pleasing are words used with a similar frequency as the headline of our last episode, boundaries. We have generations of people who don’t know how to say no, when appropriate, so they find themselves in a cycle of exhaustion and resentment. Caitlin, someone who does not identify as a people pleaser, takes this episode as a chance to give her definition of this, state her misconceptions and hot takes about people pleasers, and tells her life story through a lens of a people pleaser. Spoiler alert, many of the most integral parts about her would be entirely different. If you have been listening for a while, you know that we always welcome nuance to The Good Stuff. So, she also talks about how being an enneagram 2 (“The Helper”) has some overlap of a people pleaser. But, there is a unique difference – Enneagram 2s do these things because they want to, not because they are worried about what other people think. Caitlin also explains why a few trusted people in her life might think she’s a people pleaser, because of the place they hold in her life. There’s always more than meets the eye during one of her chats. She rounds out the episode with some questions for people who find themselves in a people pleasing cycle to ask themselves. Stick with it. This is a good one!

p.s. just because you aren’t a people pleaser, doesn’t mean you are a jerk.

Timestamps:

00:00 The Faucet Story That Sparked This Episode

00:00:31 Today's Topic: Are You a People Pleaser?

00:01:24 Why So Many People Identify as People Pleasers

00:04:42 9 Years With My Rescue Dog

00:08:44 San Francisco Trip Recap & A Surprisingly Great Martini

00:12:28 New Faucets, AC Repairs & Being Overcharged

00:18:38 Horse Shows, Friendships & Weekend Plans

00:21:16 What Does It Really Mean to Be a People Pleaser?

00:24:09 Signs You Might Be a People Pleaser

00:25:13 Why I Don't Consider Myself a People Pleaser

00:32:59 Common Misconceptions About People Pleasing

00:39:57 My Biggest Hot Takes on People Pleasers

00:45:56 The Life Decisions I Made by Trusting Myself

00:51:26 Choosing a Different College Than My Family

00:59:11 Why I Moved Away From Home & Never Looked Back

01:08:37 The Freedom That Comes From Trusting Yourself

01:14:45 How to Stop People Pleasing (Practical Advice)

01:20:08 Final Thoughts: You Don't Need Everyone's Approval

Links

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Boundaries, boundaries, boundaries. You don’t have to have sat through even one minute of therapy to have heard this word … probably one too many times. Caitlin spends this episode talking about the use, and overuse, of boundaries. She goes into (some) detail about experiences where she has had to set boundaries in order to protect herself. But, also gives a critical analysis of why she thinks her generation and those below her are overusing boundaries to a point of isolation. You know she loves a list, so in this episode you can look forward to a list of reason she sets a boundary and a list of ways she sees people using them unnecessarily. Caitlin makes the important distinction that boundaries not only keep people/things out, but they also keeps you in. That might not make sense just yet, but if you keep listening it’ll all click. Of course, before all of that, she shares some good stuff that’s been happening in her life lately. The theme of that segment this time is Taylor Swift and wedding bells. The funk is over and she is back people. Give it a watch/listen!

Timestamps:

00:00 Taylor Swift, George Kittle & Love Story

00:52 Today's Topic: Let's Talk About Boundaries

02:29 Montana Memories, Family Time & a 5K

08:24 Taylor & Travis' Wedding Hot Takes

13:11 My Best Friend Found Her Wedding Dress

18:00 The Best Question to Ask During Dress Shopping

27:40 Why I Think We're Overusing Boundaries

30:32 The Hidden Cost of Setting Boundaries

33:56 When I Believe Boundaries Are Necessary

37:58 A Breakup Boundary That Changed Everything

41:27 Are You Avoiding an Uncomfortable Conversation?

44:24 Stop Building Walls Instead of Looking in the Mirror

47:10 Use Boundaries for Protection, Not Avoidance

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Caitlin has not been feeling like herself lately. With so many things happening in her personal life, she has seen a shift in her ability to keep things feeling balanced. Normally, she has a system that works. But, we all know how it feels to get out of whack because life threw us a curveball (or two, or three). So, in this episode she talks about what she notices in herself when things get off balance, and what she does to try and get herself back on track. You hear about some recent anxious moments, tips (that work for her) to fight through them, and reminders she tells herself to feel better. Caitlin details how this lack of balance impacts her personally and professionally. She might not have it all buttoned up just yet, but in doing this podcast she has learned that these real moments are some of the best times to connect with her audience. Enjoy this episode as you head off to your holiday weekend plans!

Timestamps:

00:00 Intro: Why I'm Suddenly Watching Soccer

00:00:43 Welcome Back & Feeling Like Myself Again

00:04:46 The Theme of Today's Episode: Finding Balance

00:07:59 California Trip & Quality Family Time

00:10:07 Why the World Cup Won Me Over

00:18:25 Craving Routine After Constant Travel

00:20:18 Building a Life With Healthy Work-Life Balance

00:22:31 When Life Becomes Overwhelming

00:30:44 Why It's Okay to Not Feel Like Yourself

00:36:30 5 Things That Help Me Regain Balance

00:42:43 Why Rest Is Actually Productive

00:47:07 Spend Time With People Who Make You Feel Safe

00:51:57 How Stress Showed Up in My Business

01:02:34 The Hidden Challenges of Going Through Hard Seasons Alone

01:08:34 Final Thoughts: Balance Is a Practice, Not Perfection

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In this episode, Caitlin sits down with both her parents Jim and Alison to discuss the concept of being friends with your kids or parents. With so many people calling their kids and parents their “friends,” they wanted to talk through it from their points of view. They all know and respect people who do this, but for some reason it feels wrong for them and their dynamic. This is not to say they don’t have fun together – they spend a ton of time together. In fact, they were having cocktails by the fire the night before recording this! But, calling each other “friends” felt wrong and weird. Throughout the episode they also cover things like new laptops, how Jim and Alison celebrated 44 years of marriage, Caitlin’s past tennis career, and more. Don’t miss this episode with everyone’s favorite guests!

Timestamps:

00:00 Intro

00:35 Welcome + Meet Caitlin's Parents

01:04 Today's Topic: Why We Don't Think Parents & Kids Should Be Best Friends

01:53 Some Good Stuff Begins

02:00 Caitlin's New Laptop & Pickleball Obsession

05:34 Tennis Memories & Court Shoe Debate

08:02 Upcoming LA Trip & Region 2 Horse Show

09:20 Sentimental About Her First Business Laptop

10:23 Alison's Good Stuff: Bend, Oregon & 44th Anniversary

13:04 Jim's Good Stuff: Building a Neighborhood Pickleball Court

15:15 The Main Conversation Begins

16:05 Are Parents and Children Friends?

17:01 Alison's Perspective: Friendship Traits vs. Parenting Roles

20:16 Is Caitlin Her Dad's Friend?

22:10 Family, Friendship & Chosen Family

24:48 Caitlin's Answer: Are My Parents My Friends?

27:57 Why Roles Matter in Relationships

29:13 Friendship, Marriage & Parenting Compared

32:02 Does Calling Parents “Best Friends” Diminish Other Relationships?

34:31 What Happens When Parents Become a Child's Best Friend?

36:52 Having Fun Together Without Being Friends

41:36 Relationships vs. Friendships

43:10 No Judgment—Just What Works for Our Family

44:51 The Toni Story: Friendly vs. Friends

47:38 Do We Overuse the Word “Friend”?

49:00 Why Friendships Need Age-Appropriate Peers

52:00 How Parent-Child Relationships Change in Adulthood

55:30 Respect, Boundaries & Long-Term Relationships

58:30 Final Thoughts on Family, Friendship & Labels

01:00:20 The Importance of Lifelong Friendships

01:01:19 Closing Thoughts

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It’s been an emotional few weeks for Caitlin. For the first time, an episode of The Good Stuff is coming out late. This episode is all about signs from loved ones who have passed on. With her grandfather’s recent passing (and since she recorded this episode the day after his funeral), this is all top-of-mind for her. She tells stories about experiences, signs or “coincidences” from her grandpa and others. Before that all starts, she does share “some good stuff.” She celebrated a birthday since you heard from her last. Caitlin also talks about the horse show she just wrapped up, and even found glimmers on the day of the funeral. Did she cry in a print shop? Maybe. She explains her state as being “emotionally hungover,” which is understandable for what she has been going through. Enjoy this shorter-than-most episode.

Timestamps:

0:00 – The Funeral, Grief & Emotional Hangovers

2:23 – Do Loved Ones Send Us Signs?

4:13 – Birthday Celebrations, Lake & Family Time

7:12 – The Unexpected Support That Meant Everything

11:40 – A Stranger's Kindness That Almost Made Me Cry

12:24 – The Lost Recording & Finding Grandpa's Voice Again

15:46 – The Tribute I Shared at My Grandfather's Funeral

20:16 – Coincidences, Signs & Messages From Loved Ones

21:00 – The Wordle That Stopped Us in Our Tracks ("Chuck")

26:08 – My Worst Funeral Moment: Releasing a Dove While Terrified of Birds

Links

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“If someone said I could wave a magic wand and not have CF, I wouldn’t want that.”

This is the first episode of its kind for The Good Stuff. Caitlin hosts a bonus episode in honor of Cystic Fibrosis Awareness month, a cause near and dear to her heart. She talked to her cousin Cody, who has lived with Cystic Fibrosis for his entire life. He was diagnosed at age 12 after many frustrating and confusing years of doctors’ visits, tests, and pain. This conversation is a chance for him to talk about CF from the perspective of someone who grew up “the sick kid,” someone who lives with this disease every day, and someone who advocates as a board member of both the local Southern California Chapter and national Cystic Fibrosis Foundation. Caitlin and Cody talk about his experience, the health care system, advances in CF research, and a lot more. The movement happening within the Cystic Fibrosis community is going to help the future of healthcare, for us all, forever. For example, since Cody was born in 1994, the life expectancy for someone with CF has more than doubled from 30 years to 65 years. The CF Foundation is leading the charge with a lot of exciting developments that will not only continue to help CF patients, but also people with all kinds of chronic illness. This conversation is informative, and most importantly, full of love you can only find by talking with someone you know well.

Timestamps:

00:00 — Why This Cystic Fibrosis Story Matters

06:03 — “The Word I Associate With CF Is: Resilient”

08:40 — The Story Behind “65 Roses”

10:52 — What Is Cystic Fibrosis? Explained Simply

13:37 — Fertility & CF: What Most People Don’t Know

14:48 — Surprising Cystic Fibrosis Statistics

16:40 — How Life Expectancy for CF More Than Doubled

25:09 — “I Went Through a Period of Mourning…”

28:39 — Realizing: “I Could Have a Future”

31:48 — Misdiagnosed for Years Before a CF Diagnosis

39:31 — What NOT To Say to Someone With Chronic Illness

43:10 — Why CF Patients Can’t Be Near Other CF Patients

49:49 — Healthcare, Insurance & Learning to Self-Advocate

58:06 — Dating, Marriage & Finding Love With CF

01:15:04 — Why Everyone Should Care About Cystic Fibrosis

This might be the most chaotic episode of The Good Stuff yet. It’s Caitlin’s 31st birthday tomorrow, so she asked 31 people in her life to give her the first word or phrase that comes to mind when they think of her. The answers cover a wide range of all things Caitlin. Some words come up more than once, some answers make her cry, others make her laugh, and one in particular sends her into a self-reflective spiral. But you don’t get to any of that before Caitlin gives you her “some good stuff” since the last time you heard from her, some standout moments from her 30th year, and a 20-minute vulnerable tangent about how she handled the very recent loss of her grandfather. This episode is a reminder that sometimes life is messy, but it somehow all makes sense. Hug your grandparents if they are still here to hug. Until next time!

Timestamps:

00:00 Coffee spill + chaotic start

00:38 Why this episode feels different

01:11 Turning 31 & asking 31 people to describe me

02:24 My grandpa passed away this week

05:00 The fundraising story that restored my faith in asking

08:50 Learning to ask people for support

10:20 Grief feels different every time

12:00 Why I chose not to fly home

16:00 Being highly empathetic while grieving

20:00 Sleeping 18 hours after loss

21:15 The story about my grandpa & “Bruce”

23:50 Biggest moments from my 30th year

28:20 Showing my horse Annie & major life highlights

33:20 The 31 words people used to describe me

01:12:50 Final reflections before turning 31

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You should have passion in all things, but it should never be the only thing. Passion is a gift of being human. When our heart is involved in something, it elevates the entire experience. Therefore, passion shows up often – like in work, life, and romantic relationships. We need it. And we also need to know when it’s taking over. In this episode, Caitlin talks about passion in those three areas (work, life, and romantic relationships). Because of her work with nonprofits for the last decade, she has seen some of the most passionate professionals available. She tells stories of when that has gone well and when it has not. She cautions people about the risk of monetizing their passion. Seems ironic coming from her, huh? Caitlin also talks about the value of having passion, hobbies, and interests. And, she closes out the discussion by asking the question: “How important is passion in romantic relationships, really?” Her answer to that and her opinions on passion + work, and passion + life might surprise you. In Some Good Stuff, you hear about a lot of birthdays and yearning for espresso martinis. Caitlin also has a real-time moment with her anxiety about halfway through. It’s a good one, people – don’t miss it.

Timestamps:

0:00 - Introduction

0:22 - Welcome Back + “Some Good Stuff”

2:47 - Birthday Weekends, Themes & Pickleball Tournaments

7:31 - Friends, New Homes & Espresso Martini Dreams

9:28 - Let’s Talk About Passion

10:01 - Taylor Swift, Creativity & Storytelling

14:19 - The “Creative Cloud” Feeling

17:27 - Doing Things Because You Love Them

21:15 - Why Passion Matters in Work

24:48 - Don’t Monetize Every Passion

27:20 - Passion, Nonprofits & Emotional Burnout

35:35 - You Can’t Save the Whole World Alone

41:23 - Healing Before Turning Pain Into Purpose

46:37 - Passion Outside of Work

49:09 - Passion in Relationships Isn’t Enough

51:03 - “Pick Your Husband Like Your Life Depends On It”

53:19 - Final Thoughts on Passion

Links:

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I think the word comparison gets an unfair rap. This episode is my attempt to help you see how comparison can be good. I talk about how seeing someone with something you want doesn’t have to make you feel bad, it can make you feel empowered. Empowered with the knowledge that it’s possible. Your frame of mind determines whether comparing what you have versus what you want makes you feel bad about yourself or like you too can achieve something. I also revisit some aspects from my very first episode “Let’s Talk About … Timing” when I remind my audience that your path is yours and their path is theirs. Usually, comparing your life to someone else’s is like comparing apples to oranges. There is no point. And, you never know what someone else might be dealing with behind the scenes. We all have difficult things going on – things other people may know nothing about. The thesis statement here is that comparison is usually useless, but when you find yourself doing it, you can make it something that makes you feel capable rather than crappy. As always, we chat about some good stuff going on. The thesis there – Artemis II is healing world-wide wounds.

Timestamps:

00:00 - Intro + chaotic start00:15 - Welcome to The Good Stuff

01:15 - Today’s topic: Comparison (different perspective)

01:34 - Why comparison gets a bad reputation

02:42 - “Some Good Stuff” + Artemis II

04:29 - Perspective shift from space

06:09 - Why moments like this matter

11:03 - Emotional reactions & social media

12:22 - NASA teamwork moment

15:09 - Life updates + transition

18:33 - Why comparison isn’t all bad

20:57 - Social media & comparison traps

23:18 - Confidence, self-awareness & mindset

25:38 - Stop comparing life timelines

27:06 - You never see the full picture

30:35 - Social media vs reality examples

35:18 - Where comparison shows up daily

39:29 - Comparing yourself to friends

43:03 - Family influence on confidence

47:51 - Growing up being compared

50:47 - Why comparison is subjective

53:09 - Key takeaways on comparison

54:59 - Outro

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Do you feel silenced from 9 to 5?

Your professional life can be quite vulnerable. For most people, it’s how you make your money to be able to live whatever kind of life you want. We rely on it to provide for ourselves and our families. So, of course it matters to us. But it also can be a source of stress, discouragement, and self-doubt. Whether you suffer from imposter syndrome, you had a crappy boss at a time who made you doubt yourself, or you just need a little pep in your day, this episode is for you. You probably won’t be surprised to learn Caitlin isn’t someone who struggles with stage fright or speaking to a crowd. And because of the wonderful mentorship she had early in her career, she’s always felt like she belongs in the rooms she finds herself in. Even if that’s with a network executive at age 20. Caitlin walks the audience through tangible things they can do to feel more confident at work. She gives tips on four areas: public speaking, speaking up in meetings, doing new tasks, and cold calling/emailing. If you are not currently working, this episode is still for you. Caitlin is sure to explain how to translate these tips to the home, in a job search, or serving as a volunteer position. You will learn what piece of feedback she has been getting since high school, the funny thing she said in her first job review, and hear her ad-lib as a salesperson from northern Oregon. Don’t ask! There are so many takeaways from this conversation, you might want to start taking notes.

Timestamp Highlights:

00:00 - Intro & Episode Overview

01:28 - Life Updates & Personal Wins

08:01 - Career Wins & Growth Moments

11:44 - Why Confidence at Work Matters

13:00 - The Mindset Shift: You Are Valuable

15:04 - Building Confidence from the Ground Up

17:16 - Confidence Beyond Traditional Jobs

20:11 - Becoming an Expert in Your Role

22:45 - Why Small Tasks Matter More Than You Think

24:03 - Public Speaking Tips for Confidence

28:13 - Structuring Notes for Better Delivery

30:53 - Body Language & Presence

31:25 - How Appearance Impacts Confidence

33:30 - Speaking Up in Meetings with Confidence

35:53 - Respecting Your Role & Contributions

37:00 - Building Trust & Credibility at Work

40:00 - Mentorship & Early Career Lessons

44:21 - What If You Don’t Feel Confident?

45:36 - Handling Pressure & Thinking on Your Feet

46:30 - What to Say When You Don’t Know the Answer

47:30 - Answering with Confidence & Following Up

48:30 - Final Thoughts on Confidence at Work

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