The Gorman Limit

INTRO:
This episode of The Gorman Limit is being released very shortly after episode 011. The reason for this is that I thought about the topics I've been riffing on during episodes 010 and 011, and there was more I wanted to say about jouissance, the death drive, & negativity or lack.

CONTENT:
0:00 - 3:02 | Introduction stuff. 

• Coffee... 
• This is coming out soon after episode 011
• I've got more to say about jouissance, the death drive, & negativity or lack 
• You should really listen to 010 & 011 before listening to this episode. 

3:02 - 19:48 | Review & Set up

• A review of jouissance, the death drive. 
• Setting up a more in-depth discussion of negativity/lack.

19:48 - 37:46 | The ways negativity/lack can empower the death drive 

• I talk too much.
• Too much lack empowers the death drive.  
• Too little lack also empowers the death drive. 
• Some less extreme examples 

37:46 - 59:05 | How do we use negativity or lack clinically? 

• I'm in a new place, and I've got a baby with me. 
• The lack we talk about with patients needs to be a lack they care about. 
• The lack that the patient cares about tends to be revealed slowly. 
• "Mind the gap" 
  • Not too much. 
  • Not too little. 
• Wrap up. 

INTRO:

In this episode of The Gorman Limit, Neil talks more about the concepts of negativity as lack (rather than as bad) and the death drive. This episode is a continuation of Neil's work teaching a seminar on doing clinical work with individuals.

CONTENT:

0:00 - 0:11 - I got this song stuck in my head...
0:11 - 5:00 - Introduction. 

• I'm reaching a seminar. 
• In this episode, I'll be talking about the concept of...
  • Negativity
  • Death-drive

5:00 - 20:35 - The Negative Pt. 1 

• Negative does not mean "bad". 
• Negativity as not having. 
• Negative liberty V. Positive liberty.  
• Negative reinforcement v. Positive reinforcement.  
• It is the stuff we don't have that motivates us, more than what we do have. 

20:35 - 28:21 - The Negativity P.t 2  

• Don Draper "Happiness is the thing you have before we need more happiness ."
• Having is good, but we are (generally) more focused on what we lack that makes us do things and stuff. 

28:21 - 37:35 - Death Drive Pt. 1 

• The time before we are born is stress & anxiety-free. 
• Freud says we might want to get back to that. 
• Life is a struggle. 
• If the struggle is enjoyable (if there is jouissance in it) then we desire to continue to live. 
• If the struggle is not enjoyable (if there is no jouissance in it) then we desire to die. 

37:35 - 44:28- Let's try to bring it all together. 

• There can be too much negativity (lack) and that fires up the death drive. 
• The Ethics of Opting out, by Mari Ruti 
• Necropolitics, by Achille Mbembe

Hi,

In this episode of TGL, Neil starts to talk about the concept of Jouissance (i.e., enjoyment). The claim Neil makes is that understanding the way jouissance functions in our lives is essential to understanding why people do the things they do, in particular when those things don't make a lot of sense.

Breakdown: 

• 0:00-0:15 | Coffee
• 0:15-7:50 | Context, background, setting the stage
• 7:50-20:10 | The question: Why do people snatch defeat from the jaws of victory?
• 20:10-38:00 | Five points about jouissance (i.e., Jouissance 101) 
• 38:00-54:15 | Let's answer the question: Why do people snatch defeat from the jaws of victory? The answer is repressed desire, repressed modes of jouissance acting out in our lives. 

Intro 0:00 - 8:15
- Ezra Klein Interviews George Saunders about A Swim in the Pond in the Rain.
- They talk about being parents
- They talk about moments of crisis, and the moment before the moment of crisis

Moments 8:15 - 18:01
- Daniel Stern’s The Interpersonal World of the Infant
- The BCPSG (A book of their articles)
- Life happens on a moment-by-moment basis
- Moments last 3-10 seconds
- We can see the moments before now
- We don’t see the moments that are coming as clearly as we do the moments that happened before now

Now Moments & Missed Moments 18:01 - 30:40
- Moving along
- Autopilot
- Now moments
- Missed moments
- Moments of meeting

Taking care of self & others in the moment before 30:40 - 43:20
- Take care of yourself and
- Take care of others
- In the moments before a crisis/now moment 

Intro: 0:00-9:55
- Hi
- I've got another kid now
- Live is crazy but also wonderful

Story: 9:55-28:15
- Who, what, when, where, why
- The kids of kids I was working with at this point in my life
- Curse word warning!
- What happened

Thoughts & Commentary: 28:15-39:20
- I hope I don't become sanctimonious 
- We all like the idea of non-defensiveness 
- We all also enjoy being defensive 
- The goal (in so far as there might be one) is to generally lower our baseline level of defensiveness on a daily basis. 

TGL 007

Intro 0:00-9:20 

• I teach in a school of social work...
• When I ask students, Why are you here? Why are you studying this?” They will usually say, “Because, I want to help people.” 
• When I follow that up with a question like, “What does that mean?” or “What would it look like for you to help people?” Students don’t always have a well-thought-out answer.
• What I want to do on the podcast today is think about that, to think about what it means to be helpful to other people.

The signifiers in “I want to help people.” 9:20-23:50

• The sentence: “I want to help people.” 
• What is I? A body in space and time, with a mind, has the ability to act (speak, move, think, etc). 
• What is want? A desire, wish, craving. 
• What is to help? Using one’s knowledge and skills in a way that is useful to another body, or that improves the quality of life (the material conditions) of other bodies. 
• What are people? Other bodies in time and space. 
• Keep in mind: Being helpful is not only making other people feel good! Sometimes being helpful means doing things that other people find unpleasant, but they need to do it anyway. 

The difficulties in being helpful 23:50-43:15

• Sometimes you want to help someone by doing something. 
• Other times you need to help them by not rescuing them.
• The importance of witnessing. 

Concluding remarks 43:50-52:45

• We sometimes want to help others, but what we really want is to help ourselves. 
• It’s important to get your own experience of dealing with your own difficult emotions before you can help someone else deal with their difficult emotions. 

Intro 0:00 - 6:24
- Headache
- The concept for today’s show: How we react when we screw things up

Bryan 6:24-14:36
- Being socially awkward in your early 20’s
- This dude named Bryan walked into a glass door
- Everything that is embarrassing is also potentially hilarious

Don’t try to “look smart” 14:36-21:52
- Did you ever get the feeling you don’t know what people are talking about? I did fairly often when I was younger
- I talk about how I would try to look as if I knew things I did not know because I was worried about looking dumb.
- The thing is, by trying not to look dumb, I was being dumb.

Drop a slip 21:52-45:59
- Set the stage 
- Tech support & Substitute teaching 
- Orientation for a week 
- Dropping a slip & pulling up

In this episode of The Gorman Limit, I talk about listening. A lot. About how I learned to listen better when I lost my voice, about what I learned about listening from my dissertation, and about full speech v. empty speech.

Intro: 0:00 - 5:38

• Why title the podcast "The Gorman Limit" 
• In particular why the word "Limit"? 

Losing my voice & learning to listen better - 5:38-24:28

• The phases of my time as a mental health professional
• I lost my voice and learned something really important

My dissertation -- "Shut up & listen" - 24:28-32:32

• I wanted to title it "Shut Up & Listen"
• We don't really think about HOW we listen
• What I learned about reflecting on how we listen

Empty speech V. Full speech - 32:32-50:00

• What is empty speech 
• Don't answer empty speech with more empty speech
• Some examples of full speech 

TGL-S1-004

Intro 0:00 - 3:20
- Today's podcast is about the concept of respect.
- Why people desire it, how they try to get it.
- How they fail to get it.
- And how they might get better at getting it.

Context 3:20 - 13:50
- People coming to you v. People being sent to you

"I don't care if you like me, but you're going to respect me!" 32:40
- The first part (before the coma) is a negation.
- The second part (after the coma) is an impossible demand.
- Have compassion for people who say this sort of thing, eh?

A story 13:50 - 47:40
- The story takes place in a high school. 
- A kid who neither likes nor respects me kind of turns into a kid who likes and respects me. 

Hi

Warm-up:
I talk about waking up early, liking winter, drinking tea…

Content:
What I want to do in this episode is tell you a story. 

- A story from early in my career. 
- One of the most important lessons I learned 
- It’s a lesson about control… or perhaps it's not… 
- It might be more accurate to say that it’s a lesson about a LACK of control.