This is a re-release of an episode which first came out right before Friendship Matters was published. Today we share it again as a way to end our Friendship Matters podcast series.

 

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Amber Durgan and Rebekah Hargraves are joining forces on the show today to talk all about their new book releasing December 1, “Friendship Matters: Cultivating Meaningful Connections in an Isolated World.” They also answer in a series of questions sent in by readers and listeners on the topic of friendship.

 

What We Chat about in Today’s Episode:

~Answering the following questions that were sent in:

*”What do I do if someone wants to be closer friends with me than I want to be with them?”

*”How does personality play into friendship?”

*”I have a friendship that is consistently draining. What should I do?”

*”Should we be closer to our Christian friends than we are to our non-Christian friends?”

*”My friend has recently made a decision I don’t agree with. What should I do?”

*”Do you have any suggestions for maintaining long-distance friendships?”

*”What do I do if I have a friend with a different worldview than mine? Is that ok?”

*”How can I share the gospel without being ‘preachy’ about it?”

~The difference between being friends *with* everyone and being friendly *to* everyone; which we are actually called to

~What to expect from the book, topics we cover, etc.

~The importance of having already developed a certain depth of friendship before “going there” and addressing hard and personal topics

~The Matthew 18 Method blueprint for how to address hard situations with your friends

~The importance of asking ourselves how we are presenting the gospel to the people in our lives.

~And more!

For full shownotes, head to www.hargraveshomeandhearth.com/podcast

Get full access to Beyond the Boxes at rebekahhargraves.substack.com/subscribe

Elizabeth Woodsen is a Bible teacher, Dallas Theological Seminary graduate, and author who is passionate about helping people learn about the rich theological truths of their faith. Today she comes on the show to talk about her new book, "Embrace Your Life: How to Find Joy When the Life You Have is not the Life You Hoped For", and how we can thrive even in the midst of life circumstances we don't want.    

What We Chat about in Today’s Episode:

~Elizabeth's newest book, "Embrace Your Life: How to Find Joy When the Life You Have is not the Life You Hoped For", what led her to write it, and what readers can expect

~What this journey has been like for Elizabeth as a late-thirties single who always wanted to be married

~The new glasses we need to put on of the story of the Bible in order to change our perspective and embrace the life we have

~God's work to redeem all the hard things

~God's Word as that which keeps us steady in the midst of life circumstances which feel very unsteady

~The reality that God has a purpose for your life, no matter how you might feel or what you might think

~Understanding that our ability to experience joy is not blocked by the current circumstances of our lives

~The importance of feeling our pain and taking it before the Lord

~The power and importance of lament

~Understanding that the Lord welcomes the bigness of our emotions

~The promises of God and how we can rely on them because they are rooted in the character of God

~Understanding that our seasons of longing are not without purpose but are being used by God to grow us

~Understanding that there is always hope, no matter what situation you're currently in

~And more!

For full show notes, head to www.hargraveshomeandhearth.com/podcast

Get full access to Beyond the Boxes at rebekahhargraves.substack.com/subscribe

A few months ago, we kicked off a brand new solo podcast series based on a book I co-authored with my dear friend, Amber Durgan, entitled "Friendship Matters: Cultivating Meaningful Connections in an Isolated World".   Today we are focusing on chapter 9, the last chapter official chapter of the book and one that is all about becoming the friend you want to be.

What I Chat about in Today’s Episode:

~The importance of becoming the kind of friend we want to be (and the kind of friend we want to have!)

~Steps to take towards becoming that kind of friend: 

*Make a list.

*Make an assessment.

*Gather and put to good use any needed resources

~How to have the fruits of the Spirit cultivated in our lives

~The importance of thinking about what kind of friends we want to have and how to find such friends

~Truths to remember going forward:

*God is our Provider - He will provide the friends.

*God is our closest friend.

*God is our greatest advisor.

*God is our fiercest protector.

*God is our hope and help.

~And more!

 

For full shownotes, head to www.hargraveshomeandhearth.com/podcast

Get full access to Beyond the Boxes at rebekahhargraves.substack.com/subscribe

Becky Thompson is a wife, mama, blogger, podcaster, and author of several books including her newest, God so Close: Experience a Life Awakened by the Holy Spirit. She comes on the show today to inspire us with what it means to listen to and walk by the Spirit and how we can do that in our everyday lives.    

What We Chat about in Today’s Episode:

~Becky's newest book, God so Close: Experience a Life Awakened by the Holy Spirit, what led her to write it, and what readers can expect

~How the Holy Spirit wants to draw us into a closer relationship with God

~The reality that all believers are already in relationship with the Holy Spirit but need to be made more and more aware of what they already have and tap into it more

~Understanding that there is nothing we can do for God apart from the help of God

~The concept of not just being God's hands and feet, but also His mouth and ears

~The speaking role of the Holy Spirit in our lives today

~Times in Becky's own life when she heard the prompting of the Holy Spirit and He led her to do something

~How the Holy Spirit speaks to us in order to encourage others we can reach by His strength

~Understanding that there is always more to discover, more to learn, more to experience of His infinite love

~The reality that we as believers have already heard the voice of the Holy Spirit - He is, after all who drew us to the Lord - but we may just not have realized that's Who it was

~How to begin hearing more from the Holy Spirit and knowing that is Who we heard from

~Understanding that it is the Word of God that equips us to hear from God

~Understanding that we must be hearing from the Holy Spirit and He must be speaking to us if we are to correctly understand and interpret the Word of God

~Understanding that the Holy Spirit will never say anything contrary to the Word of God, but will always draw us closer to the Lord rather than push us further away

~What it means to be filled with the Holy Spirit; understanding that what happens at the moment of salvation is just the starting point

~Understanding that our eternal life does not just begin when we die; our eternal life with Father, Son, and Holy Spirit began the day we were saved

~Understanding that God wants to move through us to impact the world around us

~ The importance of pursuing a relationship, not mere information; understanding that heart change ultimately comes from our relationship with Christ, not merely acquiring more information

~No longer allowing the enemy to steal from us what is ours as we refuse to any longer believe falsehoods about the Holy Spirit

~And more!

For full shownotes, head to www.hargraveshomeandhearth.com/podcast

Get full access to Beyond the Boxes at rebekahhargraves.substack.com/subscribe

Amber Durgan is a wife, mama, blogger, podcaster, and co-author author of two books. Her heart is for encouraging and equipping women to build deeper relationships with Christ. Today she comes on the show to chat about the hard topic of having to move on from difficult friendships.    

What We Chat about in Today’s Episode:

~The hard and hurtful friendship seasons of life and how to handle them biblically

~Moving on from harmful friendships in a way that honors the Lord and also honors the other person

~Good that the Lord can graciously bring from even something as hard as broken friendships

~The Matthew 18 Method and what it looks like in friendships

~The importance of walking through a difficult friendship season with the right spirit and attitude

~Laying the brokenness aside and not letting it consume us

~How much easier our lives would be if we got out of our own ways and actually walked by the Spirit

~What our goal should be when we are moving on from a challenging friendship

~Blessing the other person, even when we have to move on from our friendship with them

~Some of our own experiences with broken friendships and good that God has brought from them

~The importance of going back out there and initiating friendship again

~How to know when it is time to move on from a harmful friendship

~What we're missing out on when we rush too fast to the step of "moving on"

~The part forgiveness plays even when we move on

~Reconciliation and what to do when only one party wants to reconcile

~Forgiveness as a journey; walking in continual forgiveness

~How things that happen in our lives are also meant to encourage and inspire others

~Being grateful for the blessings in your life

~Holding on to hope in the midst of hard seasons

~And more!

For full shownotes, head to www.hargraveshomeandhearth.com/podcast

Get full access to Beyond the Boxes at rebekahhargraves.substack.com/subscribe

Jessica Thompson is a wife, mom,  speaker, writer, podcaster, and author of the new devotional study, "How God Loves Us: 40 Days to Discovering His Character in the Fruit of the Spirit",  She  joins me on the podcast today to encourage you with a more thoroughly biblical understanding of the fruits of the Spirit than you may have heard taught before. I pray you will be as encouraged by this conversation as I was!

 

What we Chat about in This Episode

~Jessica's book, "How God Loves Us: 40 Days to Discovering His Character in the Fruit of the Spirit", what led her to write it, and what readers can expect

~Not looking at the fruit of the Spirit anymore as a list of things we need to do better, but instead looking at that list as a list of the ways that God has loved us and a list of His character qualities

~How an inner assessment of how we are or are not living out the fruits of the Spirit is not beneficial; what actually helps us grow in these fruits

~What the Holy Spirit teaches us about the goodness of Christ and the goodness of Christ to and for us specifically

~Common misconceptions in the church about the fruits of the Spirit

~How the gospel calls us to not look to ourselves, but to God; how that changes our hearts and our ability to love others

~Understanding that it is the fruit of "the Spirit", not the fruit of "trying harder"

~Why heart transformation is the key and mere behavior modification will only get us so far

~Particular fruits of the Spirit which have stood out to Jessica personally and been a balm to her soul as she has understood them as the character of God

~God as a joyful God

~The reality that how we view God will be how we parent

~Something Jessica learned herself about the character of God as she was writing this book

~And more!

Head to www.hargraveshomeandhearth.com/podcast for full shownotes!

Get full access to Beyond the Boxes at rebekahhargraves.substack.com/subscribe

A few months ago, we kicked off a brand new solo podcast series based on a book I co-authored with my dear friend, Amber Durgan, entitled "Friendship Matters: Cultivating Meaningful Connections in an Isolated World".   Today we are focusing on chapter 7, a chapter that is all about boundaries and forgiveness and how to deal with friends who are guilty of the five red flags we talked about last time. For Amber's perspective on this chapter, head on over to her podcast episode tomorrow!

What I Chat about in Today’s Episode:

~The "good little Christian girl syndrome" (as Sally Clarkson calls it) which makes you think you always have to be the "yes girl", that you can never stick up for yourself, and that you always must simply turn the other cheek, come what may

~Understanding the cruelness of being an enabler to someone else's bad behavior

~Jesus' teaching on the importance of turning the other cheek, and balancing that with His own example of erecting boundaries and correcting behavior when needed

~Examples in Scripture when Jesus erected boundaries in a multitude of different situations

~The Matthew 18 Method for addressing sin and erecting boundaries as needed

~Seven steps for erecting boundaries while also desiring reconciliation and restoration

~3 things to understand if you are new to the concept of boundaries

~The importance of being clear and consistent in what your boundaries are

~The crucial part forgiveness plays in all this 

~4 important things to understand about forgiveness

~Boundaries and peacemaking (not to be confused with peacekeeping!)

~And more!

For full shownotes, head to www.hargraveshomeandhearth.com/podcast

Get full access to Beyond the Boxes at rebekahhargraves.substack.com/subscribe

Laura Booz is a wife, mom, gardener and chicken keeper, and author of the book, "Expect Something Beautiful: Finding God's Good Gifts in Motherhood". She  joins me on the podcast today to encourage you with the joy that can be found in God's good design for motherhood. May you be encouraged and find yourself better equipped to fight back against today's toxic mommy culture.

 

What we Chat about in This Episode

~Laura's book, "Expect Something Beautiful: Finding God's Good Gifts in Motherhood" what led her to write it, and what readers can expect

~The gifts of God's goodness, His character, and His sanctifying power that we find in motherhood

~God's perfect timing in the writing and release of this book

~Negative mommy culture in our day and how this beautiful book addresses that issue and reframes our thinking on motherhood

~The goodness of God's design and heart for motherhood

~How practical theology is for us in our motherhood

~The importance of self-control in motherhood

~Trusting God to establish the work of our hands moment by moment 

~Willingly surrendering to the Lord our time and our days and taking on the boundaries He, in His wisdom, has for our time and our families; how these boundaries have fallen to us in pleasant places; embracing that fact

~Giving ourselves the freedom of understanding that maternal love does not always come natural and we have to actually learn how to love our children well (as Titus 2 points out, we have to be *trained* in it)

~How knowing the love of God changes everything in how we are then able to love our children

~Mothering with the end in mind

~The mistake we make of resenting the natural effects of life with kids; the way God uses these very things to produce fruit in our lives

~How crucial it is to be in the Word as mamas; practical tips for how to actually do this as busy moms

~Doing what you can to make sure you are seeing clearly

~And more!

 

For full shownotes, head to www.hargraveshomeandhearth.com/podcast

Get full access to Beyond the Boxes at rebekahhargraves.substack.com/subscribe

Rebekah Hargraves is the host of the Home and Hearth Podcast, which, up until this point, has always been an interview-style podcast. Now, however, she is branching out into recording the first of (what will hopefully be many – that’s up to the feedback she gets from you!) her solo podcasts to talk on the topic of “Navigating Difficult Friendships”.

What She Chats about in Today’s Episode:

~A bit of Rebekah’s own experience with difficult friendships

~How friendship is messy as a result of our living in a fallen world; why this should not come as a surprise

~5 red flag warning signs to watch out for in your friendships:

• Friends who ignore your boundaries (Proverbs 25:17)
• Friends who are emotionally insensitive (Proverbs 25:20, 27:14, )
• Friends who betray confidences (Proverbs 11:9)
• Friends who are given to backbiting (Proverbs 1:28)
• Friends who are commonly given to belittling people (Proverbs 11:12)

~The friendship example Jesus is for us

~The difference between being a backbiting friend and being a Biblical friend that is as iron that sharpens iron

~How to deal with friends who are operating out of one or more of the above five red flags

~The problem with the “good little Christian girl” syndrome

~Turning the other cheek vs. exercising boundaries

~The Matthew 18 Method (Matthew 18:15-17)

~Being enablers and idolizing your own comfort vs. seeking to erect necessary boundaries and be as iron that sharpens iron

~6 steps to take when dealing with a difficult friend:

• Pray (James 1:5)
• Point out the problem (Matthew 18:15)
• If necessary:
• Bring witnesses (Matthew 18:16)
• Erect Boundaries (Matthew 18:17)
• Continue to Pray for Reconciliation and walk by the Spirit as you do (Galatians 5:16)
• Proceed with caution if/when prompted by the Spirit to reconcile and restore wisely

~Our call to be ministers of reconciliation

  ~And more!

 

For full shownotes, head to www.hargraveshomeandhearth.com/podcast

Get full access to Beyond the Boxes at rebekahhargraves.substack.com/subscribe

Asheritah CiuCiu is a wife, mom, podcaster, writer, and author of the new book "Prayers of Rest: Daily Prompts to Slow Down and Hear God's Voice." She joins me on the podcast today to inspire us with the understanding that prayer is not a drudgery, it is not a task to check off the list, it is not a burden that we "have" to do, but rather is a peaceful, restful, life-giving gift to our souls. May you walk away from this episode encouraged and built up to grow in your own prayer life with the Lord!

 

What we Chat about in This Episode

~Asheritah's newest book, Prayers of Rest, what led her to write it, and what readers can expect

~Prayer as *the* work, the all-important foundation for everything else we do, but not viewing it as work

~Viewing prayer as rest and peace and joy

~The prayers of REST (Recite God's goodness, Express your neediness, Seek His stillness, Trust His faithfulness)  prayer model, what it is, and how  and why to follow it

~Learning how to pray by actually praying, rather than just reading about prayer

~God's still, small voice; why it's important and why we need to mute all the noise coming at us so we can hear His voice and have it change our lives

~Going to God and being gut-level honest about how we're truly feeling deep down - the importance of sharing the good, the bad, and the ugly with the Lord

~The power of knowing that we are fully known and fully loved by God

~The loving Father's willingness to again and again welcome us and renew us in the midst of our repeated struggles day by day; the impact this resting in God's presence has on how we lovingly and humbly view others

~Understanding that the Lord does not call us to hustle our way into His kingdom, but to instead take on His yoke that is easy and His burden that is light

~Dealing with distractions while you are praying

~How God uses prayer to first change us before He uses it to change the things going on around us; how this does away with that question of, "Why should I pray when God already knows everything anyway?"

~Prayerlessness as an act of unbelief; stopping this belief that prayer is our last resort

~God does know, and He wants us to bring our issues to Him first

~The gift that not only does God give us the gift of answered prayer, but that He gives us the ultimate gift of Himself

~The sweet, beautiful, restful, life-giving, soul-shaping nature of prayer

~Having prayer be a rhythm of your day; the fact that it doesn't have to be a rigid, long, drawn out thing, but can be a part of the rhythms of our days

~And more!

For full show notes, head to www.hargraveshomeandhearth.com/podcast

Get full access to Beyond the Boxes at rebekahhargraves.substack.com/subscribe