#55: Two Weeks???

Francis and Jessica lost their “freeze the rent” Kalshi bets. That’s ridiculous! So what’s the deal with all the online hate for The Alchemist? Meanwhile, Jessica’s search for information on The Poetica’s far left turn resulted in a new online argument with neighbors :). Let’s hope Jessica finally bought her lottery ticket after FOUR birds dropped some poo on her head.

#54: Bring in the Medics

This episode is for us Gen X oldies! Just like the pigeons, don’t feed the temporarily unhoused (sorry). The oatmeal and incline walking are actually improving the health profile of Francis. Unfortunately, he’s headed in for another kidney stone procedure - whoops. Bring in Dr. Jessica and the pair go down the medical rabbit hole of America. PSA: YOU are your best medical advocate!

#53: It’s Inconceivable!

Francis and Jessica chat about celebrity sightings in Brooklyn as the OG Inigo Montoya (Mandy Patinkin) was on the same return flight to NYC. JetBlue has clearly seen better days in the past - could they really charge higher prices without losing customers? For all you flyers out there in the USA, try the paiback.app to get money back on flights when prices fall - use our referral code 811706852807 to get your first $5. The weekly chat rounds out with another NAHL junior team going belly up, pet acupuncture and a company really spent $500 MILLION on AI tokens…

#52 Mind the Gap!

The Fresh Prince doesn’t want to share Jessica with the rest of the family. Friendship is a two way street people, so check-in on a friend today. At our age, we need hobbies, so Jessica has taken up some serious sewing as she gets ready for a future at The Villages in Flo-Ridaaaaa. Francis is still in disbelief at the woman who parked her car on Fifth Avenue and fell down a manhole right in front of Cartier. Sadly, the Maine Nordiques junior team has been mismanaged into bankruptcy - wah wah wah.

#51: Mini Tiger Prawn

Francis is angry at the weeding he doesn’t want to do and the pigeons he has to chase away each day before they build a nest. At the same time, he can’t figure out how construction workers know what to do each day while building a high rise. Meanwhile, Jessica is absolutely amazed by the peculiar story of future NHL draft pick, Jaxon Cover. Reluctantly, Francis recounts his disastrous dining experience at Gordon Ramsay’s latest venture at Bishopsgate.

#50: No Tailgating

Francis and Jessica marvel at their 50th episode! Do first world dogs really mellow out on Prozac and other modern medication? And what actually happens to a Make a Wish kid who fully recovers? There’s a quick Kalshi update as we warn listeners against tailgating through the new subway turnstiles. PSA of the day: wear your full visors and mouth guards while on the ice! Finally, the episode ends on the idiocy of home sleep test kits.

#49: The Even MORE Angry Episode

Francis and Jessica are even more agitated than normal this week as the NCAA continues to make rule changes that penalize college hockey players. But first there’s plenty of talk about Italian bakeries, hash brown waffles and the incredible, talented entertainment found on @bkcoffeeshop. Here come the lawsuits as JetBlue gets busted for price surveillance and the Canadian half of our podcast apologizes profusely for spending 30 minutes dissecting the new 5-in-5 rule.

#48: It’s Not Fair!

Francis started his day with a bike ride but then it completely upset his morning coffee ritual. Meanwhile, Jessica automates her cup of morning joe. They meander through volleyball, the disappearance of Greek life on campus, sun tan oil, and eventually land on “fairness”.

#47: Let's Do Lunch

The FPOBA is super chill as Jessica is now hiding Prozac in his cream cheese. Why can’t Americans say what they mean and mean what they say? Francis is still searching for the meaning of his odd teeth brushing dream. The duo chat about Trader Joe’s tote bags, Erewhon smoothies and Love on the Spectrum. SPOILER ALERT for Sinners and Outcome - fast forward so we don’t ruin the movies for you. Can you believe Duke University earns and spends all $180m of their athletic revenues?

#46: Jail Time

Happy birthday wishes to Jessica!!! She spent the morning returning a mansion purchased for the FPOBA. Boy do we miss hearing about her fights with strangers on Threads. Watch HBO Max if you are in need of gratuitous sex and violence. Francis outlines the latest Apple Pay credit card scam and we want your vote on whether you see pre-fab jail cells in the picture above.