We open up with a catch-up on life, exhaustion, and transitions—moving homes, shifting work dynamics, and the realities of being high-achieving Black women who are still BLACKITY BLACK! This leads to a deeper conversation about identity, education, and the stereotypes placed on Black professionals, particularly around PhDs, power dynamics, and ego.

From there, we turn toward reflection and end-of-year evaluation. We examine what it means to “move softer,” questioning whether rest, boundaries, and doing less truly feel safe when control has long been tied to our survival. High pain tolerance, overfunctioning, and constant productivity can disguise emotional numbness—and that numbness often keeps people trapped in cycles that look productive but feel empty.

The metaphor of the hamster wheel becomes central: getting off briefly for rest, self-care, or vacations, but always jumping back on without fundamentally changing the cage itself. The conversation challenges us to consider whether we are truly choosing ourselves—or simply managing burnout while avoiding bigger, scarier changes.

In Tap In or Tap Out?, a listener asks how to grieve a living parent—specifically a mother who is emotionally unavailable, self-centered, and resistant to accountability. We discuss grief, reparenting, unrealistic expectations, boundaries, and the painful but necessary process of removing titles in order to see relationships clearly. Choosing peace does not mean carrying hatred, but it may mean accepting who someone is—and deciding how much access they get to you.

Change is inevitable, resilience is learned, and community support is essential. Growth doesn’t come from staying comfortable—it comes from stepping into the unknown, trusting yourself, and allowing life to move you forward.

Tap in.

00:00 Introduction and Catch-Up
02:30 Life Changes, Exhaustion, and Reflection
05:45 Black Identity, PhDs, and Stereotypes
10:12 Ego, Power Dynamics, and Dating with Advanced Degrees
14:20 Control, Softness, and Safety
18:45 Letting Go, Fixing, and Overfunctioning
24:30 What “Soft Life” Actually Means
29:10 Work, Money, and the Pressure to Grind
34:55 The Hamster Wheel Metaphor
40:15 Comfort vs Growth
45:10 Pain Tolerance, Numbness, and Resilience
51:20 Faith, Change, and Trusting the Unknown
55:00 Tap In or Tap Out?: Grieving a Living Parent
01:03:00 Reparenting, Boundaries, and Choosing Peace
01:10:30 Final Reflections and Closing

Hosts: Dr. Tiffany Darby, Dr. Tiffany Monroe-Hurd, Dr. Tiffany Hairston

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Produced By: Lumen Vision Sound  

www.lumen-vision-sound.com/podcasts