From a young age, we are conditioned to seek external validation through grades, accolades, and praise. This continues into our professional lives with performance reviews and feedback from bosses. While curiosity and self-reflection are essential for growth, linking our self-worth to external validation can lead to significant emotional distress and debunk progress. It's important to ensure self-worth comes from within.  It should be an internal sense of knowing you’re talented and worthy of love and belonging, regardless of external feedback or events. By understanding this, we can prevent ourselves from spiraling into negativity when faced with criticism or setbacks at work.

This week I share a story about Sarah, an executive who experienced a dramatic emotional journey at work. She was a high achiever recruited by a top tech company and faced a significant setback when her first major campaign failed. Despite external factors beyond her control, she internalized the failure, leading to a severe drop in confidence and self-worth. Through coaching, Sarah realized her self-worth was too closely tied to her job performance. By unraveling her sense of worth from her career and developing practices to maintain a positive self-view, she not only recovered but also thrived, mentoring others on the importance of separating self-worth from job performance.

Key Questions Discussed In the Podcast

• How can I separate my self-worth from my job performance?
• What are the dangers of tying self-worth to external validation at work?
• What practical steps can I take to maintain a healthy sense of self-worth regardless of my professional achievements?

https://www.fastcompany.com/90974474/the-psychological-pitfalls-of-tying-self-worth-and-happiness-to-performance

 Free values assessment: https://dashboard.mailerlite.com/forms/555271/111813391951070229/share

https://swim-against.com

Goal setting is a critical component for both personal and team success. It not only helps individuals understand why their work matters but also fosters a sense of accomplishment when goals are achieved. Setting goals provides a clear direction, aligning daily tasks with broader strategic objectives and values. This alignment ensures that everyone is working towards the same end goal, creating a cohesive and motivated team. Regularly revisiting these goals and providing feedback based on them reduces confusion and surprises, helping maintain focus and drive.

I recently worked with a growing Silicon Valley-based company that traditionally only focused on customers, products, and processes. For the first time, they were investing in their people's growth and development. During a leadership workshop, as we were exploring the value of goal-setting, one VP highlighted that knowing the goals in advance made goal attainment more satisfying, providing a clear beginning and end to their efforts. After successfully getting in the habit of annual goal setting at the C-suite level, they began to see greater alignment and success in achieving their goals. Our next step is to cascade these goals down through the ranks, ensuring everyone is aligned and building goals that ladder up, to amplify the overall impact.

By incorporating collaborative goal-setting practices, creating SMART goals, and fostering an emotional connection to these goals, leaders can inspire their teams and achieve significant results. Regular check-ins and supportive coaching further enhance this process, ensuring that everyone remains aligned and motivated. If you need assistance facilitating these conversations at a senior level, reach out to [email protected] for expert support. Remember to celebrate your achievements and let happiness reign when you reach your goals.

Key Questions Discussed In the Podcast

• How can leaders effectively set goals that align and motivate the organization?
• What strategies can be used to ensure goal setting is seen as a valuable exercise rather than a burden?
• How can regular check-ins and feedback enhance the goal-setting process and ensure continuous progress?

Resources:

https://www.forbes.com/sites/forbescoachescouncil/2022/08/10/why-performance-goals-are-important-and-how-to-empower-your-team-to-set-their-own/?sh=753a0bb05e30

 How to Set SMART Goals: https://youtu.be/Iyl_v-O_Cds?si=WB-h-nyP-wjyphTo

Swim Against the Current

As an executive and leader, safeguarding your time is paramount. Your days are inundated with emails, meetings, and constant demands, making it easy to lose sight of your strategic goals. By intentionally protecting your calendar, you can ensure that your time is spent on activities that align with your priorities and values. This proactive approach not only boosts productivity but also fosters innovation and maintains a healthy work-life balance, crucial for long-term success and well-being.

This week, I share the story of a remarkable group of female senior leaders. About two years ago, we began meeting consistently every 4-6 weeks. These women dedicated this time to building connections, solving problems collaboratively, and reflecting on their intentions and goals.  The results were transformative, enabling them to live more intentional and fulfilling lives.

Gain access to the tools that helped them transform how they spent their time so you can benefit from the same positive impact.

Key Questions Discussed In the Podcast

1. How to identify and prioritize activities that align with your top values and priorities.
2. How to audit your calendar and reallocate time to high-impact activities.
3. Practical tips for managing email and communication to reduce distractions and focus on meaningful work.

Resources:

·         https://www.entrepreneur.com/en-ae/growth-strategies/how-to-protect-your-time-and-well-being-as-a-leader/469455

·         https://hbr.org/2018/07/4-ways-leaders-can-protect-their-time-and-empower-their-teams

https://swim-against.com/contact/

In this episode of The Happy Leader, I share insights on navigating workplace conflict by sharing a personal story of how I didn’t handle conflict well and the backlash that followed. Conflict in the workplace is a common issue that impacts productivity, key relationships and well-being. Conflict is also inevitable in the workplace.  The key to managing conflict effectively is outlining your ideal probable outcome and preparing your approach with that in mind. 

By setting clear intentions, employing active listening, and focusing on the future, you can increase the chance of a successful resolution. At the very least, you will have handled conflict in a way that makes you feel controlled and confident while gaining valuable information that will help you make informed future decisions.

Key Questions Discussed In the Podcast

Learn how to keep negative emotions about the person or situation out of the conversation so they don’t debunk your approach.

How to best prepare yourself for the conflict resolution conversation. 

How to use the Conflict Resolution Checklist and how it will help you map out exactly what to say before your next difficult conversation.

Resources:

Managing Conflict Preparation Checklist

Tips for Managing Conflict- Clarke University

Must-Know Workplace Conflict Statistics, Gitnus.org, Jannik Lindner, April 24, 2024

Recommended Book:

How to Win Friends and Influence People, Dale Carnegie

In leadership, the journey of continuous learning is crucial to stay ahead of the curve and excel in new roles. The concept of a "steep learning curve" is more than just a metaphor; it represents the real challenges leaders face when they must acquire new skills to succeed. Whether it's adapting to a new industry, mastering advanced technology like AI, or adjusting to a new organizational culture, the initial phase can seem daunting. The overwhelming sensation at the start is natural, but it’s the mix of emotions experienced along the way—pride, satisfaction, excitement, growth—that fuels the journey.

This week I share the story of 'Gabe', a high-potential leader at a biotech company who faced multiple steep learning curves as he transitioned from academia to the for-profit sector and adjusted to cultural differences in the American corporate environment.

Key Questions Discussed In the Podcast

• How can leaders effectively manage steep learning curves when entering new roles or industries?
• What strategies can help leaders adapt their communication styles to fit new cultural environments in the workplace?
• How can focusing on one area of change at a time lead to more successful outcomes in leadership and team integration?

Resources

• Take the Free Values Assessment
• Swim Against The Current
• Executive Coaching Discovery Session

Further Reading

Learning Curve: Lessons Learned on Leadership, Education, and Personal Growth - by Jared R. Smith, PhD. 

The First Ninety Days by Michael Watkins

Goal setting is a pivotal aspect of achieving success, but it can sometimes become a double-edged sword. It’s essential to strike a balance between aspiring for more and appreciating what we already have. Without this balance, we risk falling into the myopic goal-setting trap, where our happiness hinges solely on achieving specific outcomes, potentially overshadowing the many joys and accomplishments that already fill our lives.

In today’s episode, I share another story from the Silicon Valley archives, this time about Aashini, a high achiever who found herself trapped in a cycle of dissatisfaction and unfulfilled aspirations. Despite her impressive background and career, Aashini’s focus on securing a promotion left her feeling undervalued and stuck. Her situation is a classic example of how a narrow focus on specific career milestones can take a significant emotional and professional toll. Through coaching, Aashini learned to disconnect her self-worth from her job title, broaden her perspective, and ultimately find fulfillment and success in a more balanced way.

Have you ever found yourself so focused on a single goal that you lost sight of your overall happiness and well-being? How did you recalibrate your priorities?

Key Questions Discussed In the Podcast

• Why tying your self-worth to specific achievements can lead to frustration and a sense of failure, preventing you from appreciating your actual value and the broader successes in your life
• How to achieve the delicate balance between pursuing additional accomplishments and remembering the success you have already created
• How you can set goals that set you up for success in all parts of your life

Resources Mentioned In the Podcast 

Energy Leadership Assessment (ELI)- seven energy levels

Contact Amy to set up your ELI Assessment

In this episode of The Happy Leader, I share insights on addressing chronic underperformers in the workplace. Chronic underperformance not only affects productivity but also has emotional and professional consequences for leaders and teams. I’ll go into the reasons behind underperformance, such as skill mismatches, personal challenges, and lack of motivation, helping you determine the root cause to inform the right course of action.

I’ll share the story of the leadership team of a well-known non-profit organization here in Silicon Valley, whose delays in addressing the underperformance of a team member eventually led to questioning the abilities of the team leader.

Lastly, I’ll provide a strategic approach for leaders to leverage to address underperformance, including how to gather data, having a candid performance conversation, and setting clear expectations and goals for improvement.

Key Questions Discussed In the Podcast

• Why waiting to address poor performance amongst your team is a losing strategy
• How to determine the best way to address poor performance
• What steps you can take to address the underlying issues of a team member’s poor performance.

Resources Mentioned In the Podcast 

Contact Amy to secure leadership training: [email protected]

Further Reading

• When Bad Teams Happen to Good People: Your Complete Repair Guide for Successful Teamwork - by Valerie Patrick, PhD

In this episode of The Happy Leader, I explore the significance of empathy in leadership, discussing how it can be both a strength and a challenge. Empathy allows leaders to connect with their team on a deeper level, fostering innovation, engagement, and retention. However, overextending empathy can lead to emotional depletion and hinder leadership effectiveness.

I share the story of Sophia, a CEO who struggled with this balance, but through coaching, she learned to set boundaries and empower her team to solve their own challenges.

Learn how to use your empath abilities to your advantage and prevent it from making you take on the emotional toll and additional work of others.

Key Questions Discussed In the Podcast

• Why empathy is essential to good leadership
• How your empathetic nature can help you as a leader
• How to identify when your empathy is unintentionally hurting you and ways to course correct

Resources Mentioned In the Podcast

• Empathy is the most important leadership skill according to research, Forbes, Sept. 21, 2021
• Take the Free Values Assessment
• Executive Coaching Discovery Session

In this episode of The Happy Leader, I delve into the crucial skill of saying no professionally as a leader. I share insights and advice on how mastering the art of saying no can help leaders avoid overwhelm, protect their passion for their work, and enhance their ability to be seen as promotable. I'll emphasize the importance of setting boundaries, smart workload management, and fostering a culture of respect and clear communication within teams.

And, from the Silicon Valley Archives, I share the story of "Minli" who faced challenges in speaking up and saying no due to cultural influences and personal tendencies. Hear what she did to get comfortable saying “No" and how it helped her career.

Key Questions Discussed In the Podcast:

- Why it's important to strategically and professionally say no.

- Why saying No to some tasks will open you up to other possibilities that align better with your goals.

- How to look for the "Win-win"

Resources Mentioned In the Podcast

• 6 Times You Should Say No at Work (and Exactly How to do it)
• Take the Free Values Assessment
• Swim Against The Current
• Executive Coaching Discovery Session

In this episode of The Happy Leader, I delve into the difficult choice many senior leaders are forced to make between golden handcuffs or career happiness. This is the point where many leaders reach the pinnacle of their careers only to feel unfulfilled. Climbing the corporate ladder often brings increased financial rewards, but it can also lead to a lack of purpose and fulfillment. This sense of emptiness can stem from not meeting higher-level needs, explained by a well-known psychology model that I share in this podcast.

 You’ll hear about "Pierre" who, despite his success and wealth, felt trapped and deeply unhappy. Pierre's internal struggle exemplifies the conflict many leaders face when deciding between financial security or personal fulfillment.

Key Questions Discussed in the podcast

• What is Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs, and how does it relate to leadership.
• Why leaders want to be incentivized in ways that are more purposeful, and not just with money.
• What are the three steps you can take to create change and move you out of this unfulfilling role, while still paying for your lifestyle.

Resources Mentioned in the Podcast

• Bring Your Compensation Strategy Up-to-Date
• Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs
• Incentivizing the C-Suite: Cash Is No Longer King, so What Works Now?
• Networking: It's Not What You Think
• 6 Worksheets & Templates to Find Your Ikigai