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In this episode, Michael Flores, LPC-S, and Jinohn Marr, LMFT, take an honest look at one of the most emotionally charged parts of divorce: custody battles and the idea of the “best interest” of the child. They explain how that phrase can mean very different things depending on who you ask—parents, children, judges, attorneys, and even extended family members may all have their own perspective. Michael and Jinohn share that sometimes, in their work, they see a parent’s position rooted not just in love for their child, but also in fear, hurt, and sometimes a desire for validation or justice.

They walk through what truly should be considered when evaluating a child’s best interest, including stability, healthy relationships, emotional safety, and developmental needs. More importantly, they break down what those concepts actually look like in real life and how they can sometimes conflict with what a parent wants in the moment. The conversation highlights how the desire to “win” a custody case can unintentionally pull parents away from what their child actually needs most.

Michael and Jinohn offer powerful reflection questions to help parents pause and evaluate their motivations:

Am I reacting to my ex or responding to my child’s needs?

If my child were an adult looking back, what would they wish I had done?

Is this decision about my pain or my child’s stability?

Am I escalating something that could be tolerated?

What outcome will help my child feel safe with both parents?

These questions create space for more intentional, child-centered decisions. They also remind listeners that, more often than not, it is the conflict itself—not the divorce—that causes the most harm to children.

If you’re navigating a high-conflict situation, the Countering Alienation course provides practical tools to help you stay focused on your child and protect your relationship with them. Register here: https://www.beyonddivorcecourses.com/offers/LoSnQoUH/checkout