Beyond Divorce: Embracing Change

Grandparents can be an incredible source of love, stability, and support for children during divorce—but what happens when they get pulled into the conflict too? In this episode, Arrianna Cervantes, LPC-Associate, and Armando Martinez, LPC, talk about the often-overlooked role grandparents play in a family navigating divorce. They explore how easily grandparents can become mediators, messengers, additional co-parents, or even another person taking sides—and how that can leave a child feeling like their family is becoming even more divided.

Arrianna and Armando discuss how parents can set clearer boundaries with their own parents, what grandparents can do when they feel protective of their adult child, and why supporting a grandchild sometimes means choosing not to join the fight. Ultimately, grandparents don’t need to be the mediator, therapist, attorney, or co-parent. They have an important role of their own: being a safe, supportive grandparent and helping make it possible for that child to love their whole family without feeling like they have to choose sides.

If Beyond Divorce: Embracing Change is helping you navigate your family after divorce, follow the show so you don’t miss an episode. And if you have a minute, leave us a rating—it helps more parents find these conversations when they need them.

A teenager once described what conflict with a parent felt like using a powerful metaphor: he was the tree, and the parent was the woodpecker. One peck may not knock down a tree, but repeated pecking over time can weaken it until eventually it breaks. In this episode, Michael Flores, LPC-S, and Jinohn Marr, LMFT, use that metaphor to explore the subtle ways parental conflict can affect children—from a tone of voice or eye roll when the other parent is mentioned to questioning children after visits, sharing adult information, or trying to defend yourself against what the other parent has said.

Michael and Jinohn also discuss what happens when those small “pecks” accumulate, how children may communicate the strain through their behavior, and why a parent's intent and impact aren't always the same. Most importantly, they talk about what happens after the tree has fallen. Repair is possible, but rebuilding trust takes more than one apology. It requires acknowledging your impact, taking responsibility for your part, and becoming consistent and predictable enough that your child can begin to trust something has truly changed.

If Beyond Divorce: Embracing Change is helping you navigate your family after divorce, follow the show so you don’t miss an episode. And if you have a minute, leave us a rating—it helps more parents find these conversations when they need them.

Getting remarried after divorce can feel like a fresh start—but it’s really the beginning of a different family system. You’re entering the relationship with experiences from your first marriage, and often with children, co-parenting relationships, financial responsibilities, traditions, and expectations already in place. In this episode, Michael Flores, LPC-S, and Armando Martinez, LPC, talk about why it’s important to look honestly at what you learned from your first marriage so you don’t simply repeat familiar patterns in a new relationship.

Michael and Armando also explore the realities of blending families and finding the balance between investing in your new marriage and maintaining your relationship with your children. What role will a stepparent have? How will parenting responsibilities and traditions be handled? Where does your new partner fit within an existing co-parenting system? They discuss why having these conversations about expectations and roles before they become problems can help everyone find their place—and why building a stronger second marriage starts with self-awareness, vulnerability, communication, and a willingness to grow together.

If you’re finding these conversations helpful, subscribe to Beyond Divorce: Embracing Change so you don’t miss a new episode. Each week, we’re having practical conversations about navigating relationships, parenting, and family life during and after divorce.

When your child begins counseling during or after a divorce, you probably want to do everything you can to make sure it helps. But sometimes, even well-intentioned parents can unintentionally make the process harder. In this episode, Michael Flores, LPC-S, and Arrianna Cervantes, LPC-Associate, talk about how parents can collaborate with their child's counselor while still giving their child the space they need for therapy to work.

Michael and Arrianna discuss why counseling should never be used as a punishment or threat, how questions like “Did you tell your counselor the truth?” can unintentionally cause children to filter what they share, and why parents should be careful not to prime children before sessions. They also explore the other side of collaboration: your child's counselor isn't there to investigate which parent is right or wrong. Parents can best support the process by being curious, open, and collaborative—sharing helpful information, remaining receptive when difficult things come up, and keeping the focus on helping their child rather than how they may be perceived by the counselor.

Ultimately, counseling is meant to help children and families develop the tools they need outside of the therapy room. Michael and Arrianna explain how a strong parent-counselor partnership can help children feel more comfortable being themselves, strengthen communication at home, and allow counseling to become a resource for the family rather than another source of conflict.

If you're finding these conversations helpful, subscribe to Beyond Divorce: Embracing Change so you don't miss an episode. Each week, we're sharing practical conversations to help parents better understand their children, navigate conflict, and move their families forward through divorce.

Divorce changes a lot for children, but it shouldn’t require them to grow up too quickly. In this episode, Michael Flores, LPC-S, and Jinohn Marr, LMFT, talk about how easily kids can begin carrying adult responsibilities during divorce—worrying about their parents’ feelings, feeling pressure to make big decisions, or believing they have to choose what is best for the family. Michael shares an important distinction: give your child a voice, not the burden of the choice. Kids can have opinions, hopes, and feelings while still knowing the adults are responsible for the adult decisions.

Michael and Jinohn share three practical ways parents can help protect their child’s childhood. Instead of repeatedly asking what they want to change, try asking, “What do you hope stays the same?” Their school, friendships, activities, and traditions may be the pieces of normalcy that matter most. They also explain how routines and predictable expectations create a sense of security during a time when so much may feel uncertain. When children know what to expect and aren’t carrying decisions that belong to their parents, they have more freedom to do what they’re supposed to be doing—being kids.

If this episode helped you think about divorce from your child’s perspective, follow the show and leave us a rating and review.

In this special episode, Michael Flores, LPC-S, sits down with Armando Martinez, LPC, to discuss the inspiration behind his new book, One Question Away: 50 Therapeutic Questions to Change Everything. Michael shares how decades of working with individuals, couples, and families taught him that meaningful change doesn't always come from having the perfect answer—it often begins with asking the right question. Some of the simplest questions have created the biggest breakthroughs, helping people shift their perspective, uncover hope, and move toward lasting change.

Together, Michael and Armando explore why curiosity is more powerful than assumptions, how great questions help people feel seen and understood, and why conversations often break down when our goal is to prove a point instead of gaining perspective. Michael also shares stories from the book, discusses how therapists, parents, leaders, and anyone wanting stronger relationships can use these questions, and explains why the best conversations begin with humility and a willingness to say, "I could be wrong." Whether you're a therapist looking to strengthen your clinical skills or someone simply hoping to have better conversations at home, this episode will challenge the way you listen, think, and connect with others.

You can purchase One Question Away: 50 Therapeutic Questions to Change Everything through Amazon, Barnes & Noble, or directly from Michael at Brighter Possibilities Family Counseling for a signed copy.

Amazon link: https://www.amazon.com/One-Question-Away-Michael-Flores/dp/B0H1P8JFH4/ref=sr_1_2?crid=3Q20GWWM5JIH0&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.MNBdPV6IJcbrsH-HJY6nJvntuT8AAONLxftYtlrF8jw.ndWCTpr3V6x_NamHYjnSRxByW1tXBN87hW5iWU5ca3I&dib_tag=se&keywords=one+question+away+michael+flores&qid=1786110606&sprefix=one+questions+away+micha%2Caps%2C194&sr=8-2

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In this episode, Michael Flores, LPC-S, and Jinohn Marr, LMFT, explore the invisible load children carry as they move between two homes after divorce. While parents often focus on packing clothes, schoolwork, and favorite toys, children are also carrying something no one can see—the emotions, worries, shifting expectations, and constant adjustments that come with transitioning between two different worlds. Michael and Jinohn explain why children may seem quiet, emotional, withdrawn, or even act differently after an exchange, and why those behaviors are often less about one parent's home and more about the work of unpacking everything they've been carrying.

The conversation also highlights how children are constantly adapting to different routines, rules, traditions, and expectations. They discuss why predictability creates security, how simple transition rituals can help children move between homes with less anxiety, and why parents should be mindful of the emotional "weight" they place in their child's backpack. Whether it's asking children to carry messages, talking about financial stress, speaking negatively about the other parent, or expecting them to manage adult emotions, these burdens can make transitions even more difficult. Throughout the episode, Michael and Jinohn offer practical ways to lighten your child's load and help them feel safe, secure, and free to simply be kids.

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Be sure to follow us on Instagram @brighterpossibilitiesfc for more encouragement and reminders!

In this episode, Michael Flores, LPC-S, and Arrianna Cervantes, LPC-Associate, tackle one of the most painful experiences children face during divorce: feeling like they have to choose between the two people they love most. While parents rarely say, "Pick me," children often receive that message through subtle cues—body language, sighs, eye rolls, sarcasm, or even the way questions are asked after they return from the other parent's home. Michael and Arrianna explain how these unspoken messages can leave children feeling responsible for protecting their parents' emotions instead of simply being kids.

They discuss how one of the greatest gifts a parent can give is permission for their child to love both parents freely. Michael shares the heartbreaking words of a child who once said, "My parents are playing tug of war... and I'm the rope." Together, they offer practical ways parents can reduce loyalty conflicts by becoming curious about their child's experiences instead of investigating the other parent, responding with encouragement when children share positive experiences, and creating an emotionally safe space where children don't have to edit what they say. This episode is an important reminder that healthy co-parenting isn't about winning your child's loyalty—it's about protecting their childhood.

If this episode resonated with you, please **leave a rating and review of the podcast** to help more families find this support.

In this episode, Michael Flores sits down with financial planner, author, and speaker Donna Jean Kendrick to discuss her book, The Divorce Money Map.

Part workbook and part guide, the book helps newly divorced individuals organize their finances, make informed decisions, and begin dreaming about their future again. Donna walks through the Five W's that serve as the foundation of the book:

Who needs to be on your support team?

What resolution are you working toward?

When did important conversations and events occur?

Where will you keep important information and documentation?

Why are you making the financial decisions that will shape your next chapter?

Whether you're in the middle of a divorce or rebuilding afterward, this conversation offers practical tools and encouragement to help you move forward with confidence.

Free Resource from Donna:

Donna has generously offered our listeners access to her 6-Week Challenge: Get Your Financial House in Order in Just 6 Weeks.

Each week, you'll receive an email with a short video and a simple task to help you tackle important financial to-dos and create momentum toward your goals.

Access the free challenge here:

https://donnajeankendrick.com/6-week-challenge/

Connect with Donna at sephtonfinancial.com or donnajeankendrick.com

If this episode was helpful, please share it with someone who may need it and make a difference in their life by sharing helpful, positive information.

In this episode, Michael Flores, LPC-S, and Armando Martinez, LPC, discuss the unique challenges that arise when therapy is court-ordered. For many clients, counseling feels different when they've been told to attend rather than choosing it on their own. While the circumstances may be different, Michael and Armando explain that the purpose of therapy remains the same: to promote growth, healing, and meaningful change. Many people enter court-ordered therapy feeling anxious about what to expect, how the process will unfold, and what the outcome might mean for them and their family.

One of the biggest differences they see is that clients often arrive focused on making sure their story is heard and understood. After spending months—or even years—in legal proceedings, they become accustomed to proving what happened, who was right, and why. Therapy, however, is less concerned with proving the past and more focused on creating a healthier future. Michael and Armando explore common fears that emerge in the process, including concerns about being hurt again, rebuilding trust, and protecting children while still allowing relationships the opportunity to improve.

To get the most out of court-ordered therapy, they encourage listeners to ask themselves an important question before they begin: What do I want to get out of this? Is the goal healing? Improving a relationship? Finding a path forward? Or is it proving a point? The answer can dramatically influence the experience and the outcome. This episode offers valuable insight for anyone navigating therapy in the context of family court and helps shift the focus from evidence and arguments toward growth and progress.

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Have a question you'd like us to answer on a future episode? Send it to [email protected].

Want more tools for navigating difficult relationships and creating meaningful change? Check out Michael's book, One Question Away: 50 Therapeutic Questions to Change Everything on Amazon.