Beyond Divorce: Embracing Change

This episode is a replay from Diana Romanov's YouTube Channel Divorce Like A Boss with Diana. Diana is a Certified Family Law Specialist and founder of Romanov Law. In this episode she interviews Michael Flores, a licensed professional counselor based in Texas who works with families navigating high-conflict divorce and custody disputes.

Courts sometimes order co-parenting counseling when parents struggle to communicate or when conflict begins affecting children. But what actually happens in those sessions?

In this conversation, Michael shares insight from years of working with families in difficult custody situations, including parental conflict, relocation disputes, and the emotional dynamics children experience during divorce. The discussion also explores what children consistently say they want most from their parents during separation.

Follow Diana on YouTube at Divorce Like a Boss with Diana and on Instagram @ divorce_like_a_boss

To register for Countering Alienation and learn immediate skills to change your co-parenting dynamics and better connect with your child, go here: https://www.beyonddivorcecourses.com/offers/LoSnQoUH/checkout

In this episode, Michael Flores, LPC-S, and Arrianna Cervantes, LPC-Associate, tackle a topic that often shows up in divorce conversations but doesn't get discussed enough: money and children. In our offices, children of all ages bring up financial concerns, which usually means they're hearing about money struggles directly or indirectly from the adults around them. Michael and Arrianna explain why children should never feel responsible for adult finances and how even when parents aren't intentionally involving them, kids often pick up on stress, worry, and desperation.

They share practical, age-appropriate ways to respond when children ask questions about money, helping parents provide reassurance without placing children in the middle of adult issues. While financial transitions can be difficult and sometimes bring feelings of guilt or shame, they also create opportunities to teach valuable life lessons about saving, patience, delayed gratification, and prioritizing needs versus wants. The goal isn't to hide reality from children—it's to protect them from burdens they were never meant to carry while helping them feel safe, secure, and cared for.

If you found this episode helpful, please rate and review the podcast to help more families find this support.

Have a question you'd like us to answer on a future episode? We'd love to hear from you. Send your questions to [email protected].

In this episode, Michael Flores, LPC-S, and Armando Martinez, LPC, discuss the guilt many parents experience after divorce. Parents often worry about how the changes will affect their children and may feel responsible for the pain their children are experiencing. Michael and Armando explore the difference between having compassion for your child and overcompensating because of guilt. Overcompensation can show up as extravagant gifts, relaxed boundaries, trying to be your child's friend instead of their parent, or giving in out of fear that your child will prefer the other parent.

The conversation also highlights how parenting from guilt can lead to unhealthy dynamics, including enmeshment and parentification. Armando encourages parents to ask themselves, "Do I feel like this is my fault, or do I feel responsible because my child is suffering or in pain because of the divorce?" Michael and Armando remind listeners that children need consistency and connection more than gifts or parents competing for their affection. When parents provide predictable routines, healthy boundaries, and meaningful connection, children feel more secure and parents often find their own feelings of guilt begin to ease.

If this episode resonated with you, please leave a rating and review of the podcast to help more families find this support.

Have a question you'd like us to answer on the show or a topic you'd like us to cover in a future episode? We'd love to hear from you. Send your questions and suggestions to [email protected].

In this episode, Michael Flores, LPC-S, and Arrianna Cervantes, LPC-Associate, discuss the powerful role play has in helping children navigate divorce and stressful family transitions. Parents often say they want their children to “just be kids,” but during divorce, children can unintentionally get pulled into adult emotions, conversations, and conflict in ways that force them to grow up too quickly. Michael and Arrianna explain how play creates space for children to reconnect with safety, creativity, and childhood—and why protecting that space matters so much.

They also share that play is not just important for young children. Kids of all ages communicate through play and connection, even if it looks different as they grow older. Play can be a game, shooting basketballs together, drawing, riding bikes, joking around, or simply spending intentional time together. Often, when children feel relaxed and connected through these moments, they naturally begin opening up about their thoughts and feelings in ways they may not during direct conversations. And if you don’t know what to do? Ask them. Kids are often very willing to show you what they want to play and invite you into their world. Michael and Arrianna remind parents that connection does not have to take hours every day—sometimes even small, consistent moments of play and presence can make a meaningful impact.

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In this episode, Michael Flores, LPC-S, and Jinohn Marr, LMFT, discuss what self-care actually looks like during divorce—especially when you’re overwhelmed, emotionally drained, and just trying to make it through the day. They start with the physical foundations that are easy to neglect during stress: getting enough sleep, staying hydrated, eating consistently, moving your body through walks or exercise, and creating moments of quiet or alone time. While these needs may seem simple, Michael and Jinohn explain how quickly they can disappear when your mind is consumed with conflict, uncertainty, and survival mode.

They also explore the emotional side of caring for yourself during separation. Journaling, grounding exercises, and having a safe adult to talk to—not your children—can help clear your mind and organize the emotions that often feel overwhelming. Michael and Jinohn discuss how to continue parenting even when emotionally exhausted, emphasizing the importance of maintaining routines for your children, avoiding negative talk about the other parent, and remembering that the goal is not to “be right,” but to “get it right.” They also encourage listeners to protect their mental health by setting boundaries around divorce-related communication, not feeling pressured to respond to every message immediately, and avoiding obsessive thinking about court outcomes. Most importantly, they remind listeners to give themselves grace. Healing and stability are often built through small, consistent routines that slowly help you move forward.

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In this episode, Michael Flores, LPC-S, and Arrianna Cervantes, LPC-Associate, explore the deeply personal journey people go through in divorce—and why some feel stuck while others begin to move forward. Michael shares how, in his work, he often sees patterns in behavior that show up during this “storm,” and how identifying those patterns can reveal the root hurt keeping someone from healing. He breaks down three common dynamics that tend to hold people in place, starting with unresolved pain from the past. When someone is anchored to what was, they can struggle to see a path forward, often feeling unseen, invalidated, or stuck in a cycle of victimhood where everything feels like it’s happening to them.

They also discuss how fear of the future can keep people frozen—replaying past experiences and projecting them forward, imagining worst-case scenarios that haven’t actually happened. Instead of responding to what is, people get caught in what could be, and their fear becomes the driver. The third dynamic is a lack of trust, especially in co-parenting relationships. The ability—or inability—to move forward often hinges on how much trust exists between parents, and when that trust is broken, it can impact every interaction. Michael and Arrianna bring it all back to one central truth: forward movement begins with you. When you take time to reflect on what is holding you back, you create the opportunity to move toward the future you actually want.

If this episode gave you perspective or hope, please send it to someone who might need to hear it right now.

In this episode, Michael Flores, LPC-S, and Armando Martinez, LPC, continue the conversation around introducing a new partner—this time focusing specifically on how to talk to your children about it. (Be sure to also check out their related episode, Episode 75, “What to Do When a New Partner Enters,” for more on navigating this transition.) Armando emphasizes that timing matters more than anything. Just because a new relationship brings comfort or excitement to you doesn’t mean your children are ready for it. He encourages parents to consider whether the relationship is truly stable and lasting, and where their children are emotionally in their own adjustment to the divorce.

Michael and Armando also explore how to set clear expectations and roles for a new partner, and what it looks like to introduce them in a low-pressure, child-friendly way—like a casual outing to the park or grabbing ice cream together. They caution against recreating meaningful traditions that were once shared with the other parent, as this can be confusing or painful for children. Above all, they remind listeners to slow down and be intentional. Introducing someone into your child’s world is significant, and taking your time ensures that the relationship is truly worth bringing into your family system.

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In this episode, Michael Flores, LPC-S, and Jennifer Nobles, LCSW-S, break down some of the most common myths people believe about divorce—and how these beliefs can quietly keep you stuck. They start with the idea that healing means you won’t be triggered anymore, explaining that even when you’ve done the work, certain moments, memories, or situations can still bring up old emotions. They also challenge the belief that “time heals all wounds,” emphasizing that while time can create distance, true healing requires intention, effort, and support. Michael and Jen also address the pressure people often feel to “move on” before they’re ready, and how that expectation can actually slow down the healing process.

They go on to unpack other common misconceptions, like the belief that divorce decisions should always be “fair.” While fairness may feel important, especially when emotions are high, the reality is that divorce—particularly when children are involved—is guided more by what serves the child’s best interest than what feels equal. They also discuss the myth that you need to have everything figured out before leaving a relationship, reminding listeners that while preparation helps, clarity often comes through the process itself. Finally, they challenge the idea that a “good divorce” means staying friends, offering a more realistic and healthy perspective on what respectful, functional co-parenting can look like.

If this episode helped shift your perspective, please rate and review the podcast to help more people find this support.

In this episode, Michael Flores, LPC-S, and Armando Martinez, LPC, dive into a pattern many people don’t realize they’re repeating—how the same unresolved issues from your marriage can quietly show up in your divorce. Even though your relationship has changed, the dynamic often hasn’t. Instead of relating as co-parents, many people find themselves slipping back into the same arguments, reactions, and frustrations that didn’t work before. Michael and Armando challenge listeners to pause in those moments and ask one powerful question: “What is the story I’m telling myself right now?” That question creates space to separate what’s actually happening from the assumptions and emotions tied to the past.

They explore how unresolved resentment, past hurt, and old patterns can keep you stuck in a reality that may no longer be true. When uncertainty or vulnerability shows up, it’s easy to default to what’s familiar—even if it’s not helpful. The truth is, cycles continue until something changes. And when you begin to change your responses, your boundaries, and your perspective, it naturally shifts the dynamic around you. As they remind listeners, the windshield is bigger than the rearview mirror for a reason—you’re meant to move forward, not stay stuck looking back.

If this episode made you think differently, please share it with someone who might be stuck in the same cycle and leave a review of the podcast to help others find this support.

If you’re dealing with a high-conflict co-parent and feel stuck in patterns that aren’t working, Countering Alienation will show you a different way. You’ll learn practical communication tools, how to shift the dynamic without escalating conflict, and how to protect your relationship with your child. This is where change starts—don’t stay stuck.

Register here: https://www.beyonddivorcecourses.com/offers/LoSnQoUH/checkout

In this episode, Michael Flores, LPC-S, and Arrianna Cervantes, LPC-Associate, explore the messages children absorb during divorce—and how the “soundtrack” parents create can shape a child’s emotional experience and long-term relationships. They discuss the difference between what kids need to hear and what they don’t, highlighting how parents often share information with good intentions, believing it will protect their child, without fully realizing the impact it can have. Michael and Arrianna emphasize the importance of being intentional with what is said—and what is left unsaid—so children are not carrying emotional weight that isn’t theirs to hold.

Arrianna introduces a simple but powerful “Decision Tree” to help parents filter what they share with their child. Questions include: Is this information necessary for my child? Will this help my child emotionally? Does this support their relationship with both parents? Am I sharing this for their needs, or mine? Can I say this without blaming, shaming, or diagnosing the other parent? They also walk through common questions kids ask and how to respond in a way that protects your child while still being honest and age-appropriate. Most parents have good intentions—this framework helps ensure those intentions truly support your child’s well-being.

If this episode resonated with you, please leave a review of the podcast to help more families find this support.

If you’re dealing with a high-conflict co-parent, now is the time to take a different approach. Countering Alienation gives you the tools to communicate more effectively and protect your relationship with your child. Don’t wait to make a change—start here:

https://www.beyonddivorcecourses.com/offers/LoSnQoUH/checkout

For those in Texas, if your child is in the process of reunifying with their other parent, the Reunification Project offers supportive guidance to help you navigate this transition with care and confidence. You don’t have to figure it out alone—learn more here: www.brighterpossibilitiesfc.com