Beyond Divorce: Embracing Change

In this episode, Michael Flores, LPC-S, and Jennifer Nobles, LCSW-S, explore how decision making during divorce is often driven more by emotion than logic—whether we realize it or not. Using insight from the book Never Split the Difference by Chris Voss, they unpack the idea that people don’t decide with logic, they decide with emotion and then justify with logic. In a season filled with uncertainty, fear, and high stakes, it’s easy for decisions to come from a reactive place rather than a grounded one. Michael and Jen help listeners recognize the difference and explain why avoiding difficult conversations or decisions often magnifies problems instead of solving them.

They also reframe divorce as an ongoing negotiation—not just with your co-parent, but sometimes with your child and even within yourself. A key takeaway from this conversation is that when someone feels emotionally unseen or unheard, their brain often cannot move toward resolution. By learning to acknowledge emotions—both your own and others’—you create space for more productive conversations, better collaboration, and more thoughtful decisions that serve your family in the long term.

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Countering Alienation provides practical tools to help you make grounded decisions and protect your relationship with your child. If you are dealing with a high-conflict co-parent, this course is for you. You will learn communication skills like the ones discussed in this episode to help you improve communication between you, your child, and your co-parent. It’s time to try something new—something that will work.

Register here: https://www.beyonddivorcecourses.com/offers/LoSnQoUH/checkout

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In this episode, Michael Flores, LPC-S, and Jinohn Marr, LMFT, take an honest look at one of the most emotionally charged parts of divorce: custody battles and the idea of the “best interest” of the child. They explain how that phrase can mean very different things depending on who you ask—parents, children, judges, attorneys, and even extended family members may all have their own perspective. Michael and Jinohn share that sometimes, in their work, they see a parent’s position rooted not just in love for their child, but also in fear, hurt, and sometimes a desire for validation or justice.

They walk through what truly should be considered when evaluating a child’s best interest, including stability, healthy relationships, emotional safety, and developmental needs. More importantly, they break down what those concepts actually look like in real life and how they can sometimes conflict with what a parent wants in the moment. The conversation highlights how the desire to “win” a custody case can unintentionally pull parents away from what their child actually needs most.

Michael and Jinohn offer powerful reflection questions to help parents pause and evaluate their motivations:

Am I reacting to my ex or responding to my child’s needs?

If my child were an adult looking back, what would they wish I had done?

Is this decision about my pain or my child’s stability?

Am I escalating something that could be tolerated?

What outcome will help my child feel safe with both parents?

These questions create space for more intentional, child-centered decisions. They also remind listeners that, more often than not, it is the conflict itself—not the divorce—that causes the most harm to children.

If you’re navigating a high-conflict situation, the Countering Alienation course provides practical tools to help you stay focused on your child and protect your relationship with them. Register here: https://www.beyonddivorcecourses.com/offers/LoSnQoUH/checkout

In this episode, Michael Flores, LPC-S, and Arrianna Cervantes, LPC-Associate, dive into one of the most common—and often overlooked—causes of conflict in relationships: the gap between what someone actually says and what the other person hears or interprets. Whether you’re communicating with your child, partner, co-parent, family member, or coworker, this dynamic plays a major role in how conversations either build connection or create tension. As Michael and Arrianna explain, many relationship breakdowns are, at their core, communication breakdowns.

They explore the three key layers of communication to be mindful of: the words you choose, the tone in which you say them, and the story the other person fills in—which is often the part we have the least control over. When someone feels misunderstood, it can quickly lead to defensiveness or disconnection. But when people feel truly heard, it creates space for authenticity, vulnerability, collaboration, and trust.

Michael and Arrianna also offer practical strategies for handling moments when something doesn’t land well. Instead of reacting or assuming intent, they model how to slow the conversation down and get curious—like reflecting back what you heard or asking for clarification in a neutral way. These small shifts can completely change the direction of a conversation and help prevent unnecessary conflict.

This episode is a MUST listen!

If you live in Texas and your child has a strained relationship with their other parent, Arrianna is working directly with families to navigate these situations. If you’re feeling confused, frustrated, or unsure what to do next, you can reach out to schedule an in-person or virtual appointment to get support and clarity on how to best help your child.

The Countering Alienation course is another powerful resource that helps parents learn how to effectively co-parent—even when the relationship with the other parent is strained. You can register here: https://www.beyonddivorcecourses.com/offers/LoSnQoUH/checkout

If this episode resonated with you, please share it with someone you love who may be struggling to communicate effectively—it could make all the difference in their relationships.

In this episode, Michael Flores, LPC-S, and Armando Martinez, LPC, tackle a topic many divorced parents eventually face: introducing a new romantic partner into the family system. They discuss the questions parents often wrestle with, including whether you need to tell your co-parent about a new relationship and when it may be appropriate to do so. Michael and Armando explain that while every situation is different, it can be helpful to communicate with your co-parent when the relationship becomes serious, when routines may change, or when the new partner will be spending time around the children. They emphasize that timing matters when having these conversations and that keeping the focus on what is best for the children should remain the priority.

Michael and Armando also talk about how to approach the conversation with your children. They recommend waiting until the relationship feels stable before introducing someone new and being clear with kids that this person is not replacing their other parent. Maintaining familiar routines can help children feel secure, and it’s important to share information in an age-appropriate and honest way. By keeping clear boundaries, communicating thoughtfully, and staying centered on the children’s well-being, parents can navigate this transition with greater care and stability.

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In this episode, Michael Flores, LPC-S, and Jennifer Nobles, LCSW-S, explore the different roles parents often fall into during divorce—and how those roles shape the experience their children have in each home. They begin by discussing a common reality many parents notice: children often behave differently at each parent’s house. Even though both parents are raising the same child, they may feel like they’re experiencing two different versions of that child. Michael and Jen explain how this happens because people naturally take on different roles depending on the environment they are in, and children respond to the emotional climate of each home.

The conversation walks through several roles parents may unintentionally step into during divorce, including the combative parent, defensive parent, alienating parent, overwhelmed parent, overcompensating parent, gatekeeper, image manager, peacekeeper, and parallel parent. Michael and Jen explain what these roles look like in everyday interactions and how they can influence family dynamics. They also highlight healthier roles parents can strive toward, such as becoming a cooperative co-parent, creating an emotionally safe environment, being structured and reliable, serving as a healthy boundary keeper, and acting as a supportive transition parent when children move between homes.

Throughout the episode, Michael and Jen offer reminders that can make a meaningful difference for kids navigating divorce: children do not need to be involved in adult conversations or conflicts, and one of the most powerful things parents can do is treat each other with kindness and respect. Ultimately, these are the things children hope to see between their parents. By recognizing the roles we play and intentionally shifting toward healthier patterns, parents can create more stability and safety for their children during a difficult transition.

If this episode resonated with you, please rate and review the podcast to help more families find this support.

To learn practical tools for protecting your relationship with your child during high-conflict situations, register for the Countering Alienation course here: https://www.beyonddivorcecourses.com/offers/LoSnQoUH/checkout

In this episode, Michael Flores, LPC-S, and Jennifer Nobles, LCSW-S, unpack what codependent behavior looks like—especially in the context of divorce. When you’ve spent years in a codependent relationship, untangling from that dynamic can feel disorienting. As the marriage ends, you may realize how much of your identity was wrapped up in managing the other person’s emotions, avoiding conflict, or trying to maintain control out of fear. Michael and Jennifer explain how codependency is often driven by fear and control, and how that can show up during divorce through emotional detachment, enabling unhealthy behaviors in your ex, or feeling like you’ve lost your sense of self as you attempt to step into independence.

They walk through practical steps for breaking free from codependent patterns. First comes recognition—naming the dynamic honestly. Next is setting boundaries, both by defining what is and isn’t acceptable for you and by learning to respect the boundaries of others. Finally, they discuss the importance of turning your focus inward: setting personal goals, rebuilding your identity, and creating a life that isn’t centered on managing someone else. Codependency often breeds resentment over time, and divorce can become the turning point where that cycle finally ends.

If you’re navigating high-conflict dynamics alongside these patterns, our Countering Alienation course offers practical tools to protect your relationship with your child—register here: https://www.beyonddivorcecourses.com/offers/LoSnQoUH/checkout.

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In this episode, Michael Flores, LPC-S, is joined by family law attorney Diana Romanov from the YouTube channel Divorce Like a Boss to talk about how technology is changing the divorce process. Diana shares how some attorneys are beginning to use AI to streamline paperwork, organize information, and increase efficiency—often saving clients time, stress, and legal costs. She and Michael discuss both the benefits and the limitations of AI in divorce, and how digital tools are reshaping the way cases can be handled.

Diana also offers insight from the attorney’s perspective, explaining why lawyers have to think like judges when preparing a case, why honesty with your attorney is critical for the best outcome, and how she first found her path into family law. The conversation gives listeners a behind-the-scenes look at how legal strategy, technology, and real human stories all intersect in the divorce process.

You can find Diana on YouTube at Divorce Like a Boss and on Instagram at @divorcelikeaboss.

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In this episode, Michael Flores, LPC-S, is joined by Dr. Kalima Charway, Ph.D., L.S.S.P., L.P., to unpack one of the most common claims heard in therapy and divorce conversations: “My ex is a narcissist.” Dr. Charway, who conducts court-ordered psychological evaluations, explains why personality disorders are actually rare, affecting only a small percentage of the population, and why diagnosing them requires far more than noticing a few difficult traits.

Together, they explore what clinicians really look for—patterns like lack of empathy, a strong need for admiration, and grandiosity—while emphasizing that people exist on a spectrum and may show behaviors without meeting full diagnostic criteria. They also discuss why consistent, pervasive patterns across time and relationships matter in a real diagnosis, how personality disorders may develop, and what parents can do if they’re worried about this dynamic affecting their child.

Rather than focusing on labels, Michael and Dr. Charway share practical ways to protect your child’s well-being: creating stability in your home, keeping communication open and age-appropriate, and focusing on what’s actually within your control. This episode brings clarity, nuance, and practical guidance to a topic that’s can bring about many questions.

If this episode helped you think differently about this topic, please rate and review the podcast so more families can find this support.

Divorce doesn’t just change family structure—it changes how children experience safety, loyalty, and emotional connection with both parents. In this episode, Michael Flores, LPC-S, Jinohn Marr, LMFT, and Armando Martinez, LPC explore divorce from the child’s point of view, helping parents understand what kids often feel but struggle to say.

They discuss how a mother’s fear and anxiety can unintentionally become a child’s burden, how a father’s pain or frustration can lead kids to feel caught between parents, and how children experience the co-parenting relationship itself—often more deeply than adults realize.

This conversation invites parents to shift from focusing on intent to understanding impact, and to reflect on how their words, emotions, and co-parenting dynamics shape their child’s inner world.

🎧 This episode is for parents who want to reduce anxiety, protect their child’s emotional safety, and create space for kids to love both parents freely.

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Divorce can leave dads questioning their role, their influence, and their place in their children’s lives. In this episode, Michael Flores, LPC-S, and Armando Martinez, LPC speak directly to the fears and frustrations many divorced dads experience during and after divorce.

They explore the identity shift from married dad to single dad, common complaints and fears dads carry, and how fear often shows up as defensiveness, withdrawal, or rigidity. Michael and Armando also discuss practical ways dads can respond with clarity and steadiness—helping them stay engaged, build trust with their kids, and reduce unnecessary conflict.

This episode references Episode 32: Trust Issues? The Trust Formula Explained for listeners who want a deeper understanding of how trust is built and repaired in co-parenting relationships.

👉 https://shows.async.com/beyond-divorce-embracing-change-eKisiArX/trust-issues-the-trust-formula-explained-8vdTz43a

🎓 Countering Alienation Course

Registration is open for Countering Alienation, a course designed to help parents understand alienation dynamics and respond with clarity, consistency, and strategy—without escalating conflict.

👉 https://www.beyonddivorcecourses.com/offers/LoSnQoUH/checkout

⭐ If this episode was helpful, please consider leaving a rating and review. Your feedback helps other parents find support when they need it most.