The Healing Narratives of Suicide Loss

Kellie lost her son, Chris, to suicide 2 years ago.

Kellie had adopted Chris when he was 3 years old and at 22 years of age, he took his own life after struggles with addiction.

Kellie’s story has many layers and her honesty and bravery come forward in her words.

Hear how:

• Kellie and her husband had very different grief reactions.
• the couple divided but then came back together again by establishing new boundaries.
• they created a platform for helping others which gave them both hope for the future.
• Kellie felt that her family foundations were “falling apart” and had to be rebuilt.
• Kellie is continuing her bonds with Chris by publishing a book, Mount Hope, which she calls a “love letter for the LGBTQI community.”
• Kellie felt she was ripped apart and had to hit the depths in order to rebuild who she was.
• Kellie won $75,000 not long after Chris died and how that impacted her journey.
• faith was a vital part of her healing.

Mount Hope is available on Amazon and is a book about faith, sexuality and in the final chapter, Chris shows readers that suicide is not a sin in the religious context.

Please listen with care and know there are people out there that can help and support you. 

Within the UK: 

Samaritans - Free on 116 123 

Suicide&Co - Free on 0800 054 8400 Mon-Friday 9aam-9pm 

Within the US: 

Suicide Hotline: Free on 1-800-273-8255 or text 742741 

Anywhere else in the World:

Welcome | Sue Egan Psychology

Contact me here: [email protected] and we will see what is available in your country.

Links you need from this episode:

https://www.facebook.com/kellie.woolf

https://www.instagram.com/kelliewoolf/

https://twitter.com/KellieKWoolf

https://kelliewoolf.com

Mount Hope eBook : Woolf, Kellie: Amazon.co.uk: Kindle Store

Mary lost her partner, Phil, to suicide 3½ years before recording this podcast. Mary has been a therapist for 30 years but had no idea how significant the loss would be until it happened to her.

“Life has changed forever. I am changed forever.”

We discuss the:

• statistics around suicide loss.
• absence of significant memorial sites - or silence that surrounds them.
• use of creativity in healing.
• shift in Mary’s career – from therapist to art student.
• history of suicide and how it is being played out in society today.
• silence and stigma that surrounds suicide.
• open inquest proceedings in the UK and how it affected Mary.
• lack of pro-active support Mary received.
• importance of community.
• physical effects of suicide loss.

Mary would like to hear from you about how you have memorialised your loss or how you feel about the memorialisation of suicide loss in particular. If you feel as passionate about it as Mary does, please email Sue at [email protected] and messages will be passed to Mary.

Please listen with care and know there are people out there that can help and support you. 

Within the UK: 

Samaritans - Free on 116 123 

Suicide&Co - Free on 0800 054 8400 Mon-Friday 9aam-9pm 

Within the US: 

Suicide Hotline: Free on 1-800-273-8255 or text 742741 

Anywhere else in the World:

Welcome | Sue Egan Psychology

Contact me here: [email protected] and we will see what is available in your country.

In episode 30, Sara shared how it was losing her son, Billy, to suicide almost 3 years ago. This episode is Keelie’s story - Keelie is Billy’s sister.

Keelie shares what it was like from the perspective of being his older ‘protective’ sister and how difficult it was coping with Billy’s mental health difficulties.

We discuss how:

• hard it was grieving with very young children.
• Keelie was inspired to start a running group, which helped her find herself and cope with the loss.
• all-consuming Billy’s illness was for the whole family.
• Keelie’s family made the decision to live a life worth living.
• resilient she has become.
• it has affected every area of her life.

Please listen with care and know there are people out there that can help and support you. 

Within the UK: 

Samaritans - Free on 116 123 

Suicide&Co - Free on 0800 054 8400 Mon-Friday 9aam-9pm 

Within the US: 

Suicide Hotline: Free on 1-800-273-8255 or text 742741 

Anywhere else in the World:

Welcome | Sue Egan Psychology

Contact me here: [email protected] and we will see what is available in your country.

The links you need from this episode:

Keelie| Running 🏃🏼‍♀️ (@running.swimming.bubbles) • Instagram photos and videos

Run4Rene | A mental health community that runs.

Get running with Couch to 5K - NHS (www.nhs.uk)

Andrea lost a good friend to suicide 8 years ago and shared her story of this in episode 28 Andrea is back to share what it was like telling her 7 year old twins and how she has coped with the mental health difficulties of her son, Isaac.

We discuss-

how to tell the children of a suicide loss and how to support them in grief.

the effect suicide loss had on Isaac.

how Andrea coped with Isaac’s suicide attempt and strategies she used to support him.

how Andrea started to look after her own mental health and find her own support.

the compassionate use of language around mental health.

school ‘refusal’ and how to cope.

how as parents and caregivers we need to understand the impact on ourselves in order to become assertive with other people about our children’s best interests.

Please listen with care and know there are people out there that can help and support you. 

Within the UK: 

Samaritans - Free on 116 123 

Suicide&Co - Free on 0800 054 8400 Mon-Friday 9aam-9pm 

Within the US: 

Suicide Hotline: Free on 1-800-273-8255 or text 742741 

Anywhere else in the World:

Welcome | Sue Egan Psychology

Contact me here: [email protected] and we will see what is available in your country.

The links you need from this episode:

Andrea on Instagram

Andrea on Facebook

Andrea's website

Parenting Mental Health Website

Cindy lost her 19 year old son, Andrew, the youngest of her 5 children, to suicide 4 years ago.

Cindy speaks openly and honestly about how being a mum defines who she is and, since losing Andrew, how she has managed the physical and emotional manifestation of grief.

Part of Cindy’s journey has been to start a charity – the Aslan foundation – in order to support others with teenagers struggling with their mental health.

Cindy’s story is both moving and heartfelt – showing us how a mother’s love endures through everything and how Andrew will forever live on in her.

Please listen with care and know there are people out there that can help and support you. 

Within the UK: 

Samaritans - Free on 116 123 

Suicide&Co - Free on 0800 054 8400 Mon-Friday 9aam-9pm 

Within the US: 

Suicide Hotline: Free on 1-800-273-8255 or text 742741 

Anywhere else in the World:

Welcome | Sue Egan Psychology  

Contact me here: [email protected] and we will see what is available in your country.

The links you need from this episode:

The Aslan Foundation – Offering Help For today, Light for tomorrow, and hope a the future

Instagram - The Aslan Foundation Mental Health Page

Instagram - Aslan’s SurvivorsofSuicideLoss Page

20 years ago, Nick lost a friend at high school to suicide. Nick’s friend, Zaf had struggled with what was known as Manic Depression at the time (now recognised as Bipolar) and Nick discusses the struggles Zaf faced as a teenager.

Nick shares the effect grief and guilt had on him and, without any support available to him or his friends at the time, why he had no idea how (or even why) to process his feelings.

We hope that by Nick sharing his story, we can understand how adolescents may process grief and how we can best support them. For example, we discuss how it is best to foster open emotional relationships with adolescents so that when events like this happen, talking about emotions is acceptable and safe.

Nick has learnt how to embrace his feelings and feels he is more emotionally mature due to what happened to Zaf. In particular, Nick has channelled some of his guilt into becoming a Samaritans listening volunteer and discusses the charity’s values and beliefs about suicide and how they support suicidal people.

Listen with care and know there are people out there that can help and support you. 

Within the UK: 

Samaritans - Free on 116 123 

Suicide&Co - Free on 0800 054 8400 Mon-Friday 9aam-9pm 

Within the US: 

Suicide Hotline: Free on 1-800-273-8255 or text 742741 

Anywhere else in the World:

Welcome | Sue Egan Psychology

Contact me here: [email protected] and we will see what is available in your country.

This is Sara’s story of losing her son, Billy, to suicide in 2019. Sara trained to be a counsellor 20 years ago and found it helpful in staying strong and calm whilst caring for Billy during a long period of mental health difficulties shrouded by drug misuse.

Sarah is passionate about talking about Billy and the discrimination he faced and her need to support him 24/7.  Since Billy’s death, Sara has become an advocate for raising awareness about the often ignored condition of Bipolar whilst seeking justice for Billy.

In her story, Sara challenges and explains why some views of supporting suicidal people may not always be helpful and how cold water swimming has helped her cope with the confusing emotions she can often feel.

This is a story of courage and justice.

Listen with care and know there are people out there that can help and support you. 

Within the UK: 

Samaritans - Free on 116 123 

Suicide&Co - Free on 0800 054 8400 Mon-Friday 9aam-9pm 

Within the US: 

Suicide Hotline: Free on 1-800-273-8255 or text 742741 

Anywhere else in the World:

Welcome | Sue Egan Psychology

Contact me here: [email protected] and we will see what is available in your country.

The links you need from this episode:

Sara on Instagram

The Midnight Library book

When It Is Darkest book

Andrea lost her friend, Chris, to suicide 8 years ago. Chris had bipolar and Andrea and her family had supported him through his highs and lows.

In this episode hear how:

• Andrea coped with telling her young children and how they have processed it since,
• she hid herself from the anger (towards herself and Chris) and then managed to process it – basically how she processed the conflict of “you caused us this pain” and “it wasn’t your fault,”
• Andrea’s physiotherapy career has taken a turn since realising humans are emotional and physical beings,
• Andrea handled the guilt of thinking she could have saved Chris,
• different therapies have helped her,
• Andrea handled the internal argument between her body, heart and mind.
• Andrea has found self-compassion using art.

Listen with care and know there are people out there that can help and support you. 

Within the UK: 

Samaritans - Free on 116 123 

Suicide&Co - Free on 0800 054 8400 Mon-Friday 9aam-9pm 

Within the US: 

Suicide Hotline: Free on 1-800-273-8255 or text 742741 

Anywhere else in the World:

Welcome | Sue Egan Psychology

Contact me here: [email protected] and we will see what is available in your country.

The links you need from this episode:

Parenting Mental Health

Andrea's website - Rafiki Art

Andrea on Instagram

Andrea on Facebook

This is an inspiring story of hope from Bee, a suicide attempt survivor who wishes to help suicide loss-survivors heal from the responsibility and guilt they may feel.

Since her attempt, Bee is on a mission as a mental health advocate to make sure she does all she can to reduce the lives lost to suicide. After having her own grief and struggling with mental health problems since a young age, Bee gives amazing insights on her own journey.

Hear us discuss many issues of mental health and suicide. Including why Bee did what she did that day and how she shares this to help us understand how depression confused her thinking so much and clouded reality.

Please listen to this with extra care. Bee and I share this discussion because I do believe by understanding suicide more, we can start to make sense of why our loved ones did what they did.  I am also acutely aware that there is always a myriad of reasons why people take their own lives, but hope that with the complexity of every suicide-attempt story I share, society begin to understand that suicide is never simple.

I am also very aware that stories like this can be difficult to listen to as suicide-loss survivors because we so wish our loved ones were still here to share their story. Hence please listen when you feel able to and switch off at any point if you are noticing it is too much for you to hear right now. These podcasts will remain here as long as podcasts exist, so you can always revisit it when you are at a different point in your journey with grief.

And remember there are people out there that can help and support you. 

Within the UK: 

Samaritans - Free on 116 123 

Suicide&Co - Free on 0800 054 8400 Mon-Friday 9aam-9pm 

Within the US: 

Suicide Hotline: Free on 1-800-273-8255 or text 742741 

Anywhere else in the World:

Welcome | Sue Egan Psychology

Contact me here: [email protected] and we will see what is available in your country.

The links you need from this episode:

Bee on Instagram

Bee on Facebook

Twitter: Beeinspiredtalk

This podcast is here as a platform for those who have lost to suicide - to enable them to process more of their loss by telling their story. And it is full of stories of hope for those who have lost to suicide - to show we are still standing. If you feel you wish to share your story of suicide loss please get in touch [email protected] 

Breanna talks of losing her high school friend to suicide 5 years ago and how she developed her therapeutic yoga practice to heal from her loss.

Breanna’s story is full of helpful information about grief yoga and how we can heal our bodies. Hear what grief yoga is and what the benefits are amongst Breanna’s experience of different types of loss. Particularly how her high school group of friends coped with their friend’s suicide and the inevitability of guilt amongst everyone.

Breanna’s story shows us how there is no hierarchy to grief – no limit - everyone who cared for that person is entitled to experience grief based on their relationship and everyone deserves to be acknowledged and supported.

Please listen with care and know there are people out there that can help and support you. 

Within the UK: 

Samaritans - Free on 116 123 

Suicide&Co - Free on 0800 054 8400 Mon-Friday 9aam-9pm 

Within the US: 

Suicide Hotline: Free on 1-800-273-8255 or text 742741 

Anywhere else in the World:

Welcome | Sue Egan Psychology

Contact me here: [email protected] and we will see what is available in your country.

The links you need from this episode:

https://breannayoga.com/

 Move through grief series

Breanna's Grief Series

Breanna on Instagram