The Healing You First Podcast

It seems I did decide to record another episode! And it seems I also decided to change the name of this podcast, which I share the new name in this episode so you'll have to listen to find out what it is! Also in this episode is a bit more on what I've been up to and where I am going next, and lots of talk about healing because that is what I have been doing and I want to share everything I have experienced and learned while on my healing journey. And, I'd love for you to join me on my healing journey and let me be a part of your healing journey. Let's heal together!

 "Fear is the path to the Dark Side. Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate leads to suffering."
--Yoda 

Yoda describes exactly what fear has done to me with this quote so I decided to do an episode around my journey with fear.  This episode is all about that little voice in my head telling me I can’t do something or I shouldn't do something. That little voice is my fear talking. 

 My fear or little voice can be really loud, even deafening at times, and I let it run my life for way too long.  I now believe fear is a liar and have a game plan when my fear, or that little voice, starts taking over. In this episode I share what my game plan is because I want everyone to find a way out from under their fear and into the light of living an inspired, fear free life. Ok, fear free isn’t technically possible for me so let’s rephrase that to a life of living with fear but not letting it make my decisions for me.   

Take a listen to hear three examples of how I overcame my fear and what that process has looked like for me based on where I was at in my journey. The most recent example, and the one I am most proud of and excited for, well, it’s happening right now, in real time, so you definitely want to take a listen to find out what it is! 

This episode is for all the single people out there who have ever found themselves labeled as "single".  Or have been asked the wonderful question of "why are you still single?" 

It is time to change the stigma around being single, for women and men, and that is exactly what my guest Cat Cantrill and I talk about in this episode. Cat is a dating coach who specializes in helping women take the business out of dating and attract true love, and this is why she was the perfect person to have this conversation with, because she works with women living under this label everyday.

In this conversation we talk about the stigma around being single and how we as the single person can find our power in being single. How we can take ownership of this label and our relationship with it. We talk about how the label is different for men and women in terms of societal pressure around relationships.

I even open up about my experience with the label single and how sometimes I am able to embrace it fully and other times I struggle with it. It turns into some wonderful advice and free coaching from Cat!

A bit more about Cat. She is the creator of The Single Women's Society and has built a coaching business and podcast around helping women find love and acceptance for themselves and then in relationships. I highly recommend checking out her website and podcast, link below. 

And, please subscribe so you don't miss out on future episodes where I discuss other labels or share more of my personal journey. Thanks for listening!

Cat's website and where you will find all of her podcasts: 

https://www.singlewomenssociety.com/

If I had to pick a label for this episode it would be selfish. Now, I don't believe self care is selfish but I have certainly been made to feel this way, as have many of us.  I don't talk about self care as being selfish directly because I didn't even want to open that door, I want self care to be viewed as necessary, not selfish. I want self care to be viewed as taking care of yourself so you can show up as your best self for your loved ones, which to me is the opposite of selfish.

This is another personal episode for me. In it,  I share what I do for myself that I consider to be self care and let's just say, my version of self care is not what all the ads and media tell us self care is or should be!   

There are two pieces to my self care that I talk about in this episode; acceptance and doing one thing for me everyday, for example drinking my green drink. You will have to listen to learn what the other things are!

I also go off on a bit of a tangent and talk about my latest tidbit that I learned through therapy and my coach. I learned I like to make myself wrong. This was a huge breakthrough for me. 

To learn what I mean by this, and how I make myself wrong, please listen and then I’d love to hear your thoughts on this and your self care routine.  Please comment and share what you do to help support your mental health and live your best life:)

 And don't forget to share with those who you think might benefit from this, or any of my other episodes. Thank you!

Losing a parent is such a huge loss. Yes it's a loss we all experience at some point in our lives but everyone I know who has lost a parent has been profoundly affected by their loss and grief.  

Nelia is no exception. Nelia lost her dad many years ago and she did what many of us do, she stuffed her pain down to get things done, to be strong for her family and to protect herself from her grief.  But what Nelia and so many others have learned is that this stuffing down of our pain, it doesn't last forever, at some point our grief and pain catches up with us.  We can only run for so long before it starts affecting us in ways we never imagined. For Nelia, this meant depression. It meant anxiety. It meant unresolved emotions that needed to be felt. 

This episode is about Nelia's story.  It is about the effects of her pushing all of her grief and pain down for over a decade.  It is about how she finally faced her grief and pain.

Nelia is very open in sharing her story and how her son and the act of giving back helped her begin to heal. Giving is now a huge part of her life, she even has a podcast called Giving Starts With You!  Here is the link https://www.listennotes.com/podcasts/giving-starts-with-you-nelia-hutt-_RFzPmhQiZX/ so you can listen.  One of my favorite new mantra's is thanks to Nelia, and it is "thinking of yourself doesn't make you selfish, it makes you BRAVE".  I love this and everything she talks about when it comes to self care. 

And don't worry, we definitely talk about labels in this episode too, labels Nelia has faced from others and herself and how these labels have affected her on her journey.  One of the labels we talk about is that of being a people pleaser.  

As you can, we talk about a lot in this episode; grief and loss, self care, and labels. This is why it is a must listen! 

Thanks for listening and please let me know your thoughts by writing a review!

 Grief.  Does it ever really end? Is the expectation that it should end one that society places on us or is this something I have placed on myself? I don't have any answers, all I know is I am still grieving. Everyday. 

In this episode I talk about my compounded grief of losing my mom and brother and how the looming first anniversary of my brothers death has me feeling the crushing weight of his loss all over again.  As deep and raw as the day he died.  Is this normal?  I don't know. Nor do I care.  We need to normalize grief and how we all feel and experience it differently because every loss is different, for example how I felt after losing my mom isn't necessarily how someone else felt when they lost their mom.  Or how I felt when I lost my brother isn't necessarily how someone else felt when they lost a sibling.  

I know what I am feeling and I did my best to explain what I am feeling because I want to help anyone else grieving a loss, or multiple losses. I want to tell them that there is no right way to do this, there is no timeline. No end game.   Grief doesn't have to end, but we can learn to live with it. This episode is a bit about that. With a few other things thrown in because sometimes I don't know where I'm going with something until I get there. Such is life though!

Thanks for listening.  

Have you ever been told you are "too" something?  How did that make you feel?  If you are anything like me, being told you are "too" something probably didn't feel very good. Which is why this episode is all about that 3 letter word and how it has turned certain words into labels for me. 

This episode is dedicated to some of my labels that start with the word "too".   For me, this means labels like too emotional, too skinny, too opinionated, and too outspoken.

Take a listen to here how I feel about all of those labels and whether I see myself as any of them. Or all of them. Or none of them!

Forgotten. This is a big word so when my guest on this episode chose it as her title, I was  curious to learn more, more about how she felt forgotten after surviving the Las Vegas shooting that took place on October 1st.

During this episode, my guest Sarah walks us through the events of that night and what it has been like for her since that night. She talks about words that can be considered labels like survivor and victim but also the word forgotten.  She talks about how she has felt forgotten and by who.  She also talks about the label she chose for herself.

This episode is an amazing reminder that we can't always control what happens to us but that we can control how we move through things when they happen and how we heal after they have happened. For Sarah, that meant keeping her positive attitude and a smile on her face. It has meant finding a way to honor the 58 people that died that night. It has meant finding ways to cope with the trauma and memories that will always be with her.

Listen to learn more about how she honors the people that died that night, what has helped her through, and how she lives her life still smiling.

Divorced. That is something I never thought would be me. I wanted to do marriage better than my parents who got divorced when I was young. But here I am, divorced at 43.  

Why does this warrant an episode on a podcast about labels?  Because being divorced has become a label, it comes with a certain level of judgement and I wanted to talk about that. So I do!  In this episode!

In this episode I talk about things people have said to me over the years as well as how I feel about the construct of marriage, that to me the construct of marriage is outdated based on its origins and the world today.  I tackle the three main judgements I faced from others I under the label of divorce and do my best to explain how I view divorce as none of those things.  I talk briefly how I even labeled myself over the perceived failure of my marriage (yes, failure is one of the main judgements of someone who is divorced, whether we see that we failed or other people see us as having failed). 

I talk about how when we find ourselves placing a label on another person, such as the label of divorce or any other ones, it is an opportunity to look inside and find out why we feel that way.  Why are we judging someone, labeling them a certain way?  What does that say about us?   And what would the world look like if we stopped judging and labeling?

To learn what  I mean by the label of divorce and the construct of marriage, take a listen!  Then comment or write a review or even share this episode if you enjoyed it.