The Healthy Divorce Podcast

Divorce affects the design of a family. How do you negotiate now to avoid complications and ease tensions down the road, especially when it comes to a new step or blended family? This episode will help you figure out how to do just that. Key Points:  - Take a peak into the future to see what life after divorce looks like for many people - Better understand the difference between "blended" and "step" family - Consider how the financial terms you create NOW play out LATER - especially when someone re-marries. - Tips to create a mindfully-constructed agreement and parenting plan.  Sponsored by Main Line Family Law Center For more information, please visit: Main Line Family Law Center at https://myhealthydivorce.com Episode Host, Adina Laver, Founder, Courage to Be Curious, (formerly Divorce Essentials) Find Adina Laver at: https://couragetobecurious.com Guest: Dr. Margorie Engel About Margorie: Margorie Engel, MA, MBA, PhD, is an author, speaker, and media consultant specializing in families complicated by divorce and remarriage. Dr. Engel’s specific areas of expertise are in family finance, law, and social policy.  A past president of the Stepfamily Association of America, she is a founding member of the National Stepfamily Resource Center at Auburn University and its Stepfamily Expert Council. Dr. Engel also participates in projects of The Uniform Law Commission that provides states with non-partisan, well conceived, and well drafted legislation that brings clarity and stability to critical areas of state statutory law. She is currently observing the work of the Drafting Committee on Non-Parental Rights to Child Custody and Visitation. A member of a stepfamily for 30 years, she has five daughters (combination of bios and steps), five sons-in-law, 16 grandchildren, and one great-grandson – giving a large stepfamily age-range from one month to 76 years.  Their daughters were all teenagers when Stephen and Margorie were married and - everyone has survived!

Being attuned to your child is critical to helping them bounce back from divorce. Learn how to give your child the support and tools they need to thrive during divorce and beyond. Key Points:  - Warning signs your child is suffering as a result of divorce and how to get support for them - Pros and cons of staying vs. divorcing from your child's eyes - Ways parents can help make this family transition easier Sponsored by Main Line Family Law Center For more information, please visit: Main Line Family Law Center at https://myhealthydivorce.com Episode Host, Adina Laver, Founder, Courage to Be Curious, (formerly Divorce Essentials) Find Adina Laver at: https://couragetobecurious.com Guest: Marty Matika, M.S. About Marty: When he was five years old, Marty went through the traumatic experience of the divorce of his parents. This altered his life FOREVER. As a result of the negative effects of this experience, he went through therapy and many transformational seminars to heal himself and redesign his life. He went back to school to become a Counselor and Divorce Specialist. Marty is now happily married, with an amazing daughter, and living his true purpose in life. Marty specializes in helping people deal more powerfully with the traumatic experience and after effects of a divorce, specifically the children going through it. Marty is doing one on one work, group work, and workshops, like his "Teen Potentials" workshop, in the Philadelphia area.

Find out why "getting your day in court" may not bring justice in the end. This episode will help to clear up misconceptions about divorce court. Learn how divorce mediation can give you more control over the process and pave the way for healing. This episode will explain why divorce court rulings can be unpredictable and what you could expect, why divorce court isn't the place to seek vindication and place blame, and how divorce mediation makes you the final decision-maker, not a judge. Key Points:  - Judges are human. They're often overworked and can make arbitrary decisions. Find out why there isn't time to consider all the details that make your case unique and what that could mean for your divorce settlement. - You might be picturing a criminal court proceeding where you'll be able to "make your case" for why your spouse is at fault. But this isn't reality. Hear how this mindset can backfire, causing unnecessary stress and turmoil for you and your children. - This alternative to court allows you to base your decisions on what your family truly needs. Discover how you can resolve your issues quickly and create an agreement that feels fair to both of you. Sponsored by Main Line Family Law Center For more information, please visit: Main Line Family Law Center at https://myhealthydivorce.com Episode Host, Pamela Elaine Nichols, Author, Speaker, Producer Guests: Cris Pastore and Adina Laver  About Cris: Crispino Pastore, Esq, Main Line Family Law CenterCris Pastore is an expert attorney-mediator and has been a practicing attorney for over 18 years. He became a private divorce mediator in 2007, when he grew increasingly frustrated by destructive nature of the traditional court-contested divorce process. After having mediated hundreds of divorce cases, Cris co-founded Main Line Family Law Center, with the help of his wife, Sharon. Through working with clients and community education, Cris has made it his personal mission to revolutionize this area of practice so that families can emerge healthy and whole once again. Follow Cris on Twitter at @healthy_divorce. About Adina: In partnership with Main Line Family Law Center, Adina Laver, Divorce Coach works with clients who are "on the fence," in the process of separating, getting a divorce, or are in any other way undergoing a significant change or transformation in their lives. Adina is also founder of Divorce Essentials, a specialized divorce coaching and support service for those committed to a healthy path for reclaiming their lives. Follow Adina on Twitter at @AdinaLaver.

Feel like you'll never bounce back from your divorce? Listen as Pamela Elaine Nichols, divorced mom, author & speaker, shares how she turned her pain into purpose. Learn how you can apply her life lessons to cope, heal and thrive despite divorce. This episode will discuss how you can overcome the pain of divorce, what skills you need to regain hope and perspective after divorce, and how to create your own divorce resilience plan. Key Points: - Resilient people are not naturally immune to stress and depression. They've learned tangible skills that help them successfully manage life's difficulties. Learn how you can too. - Hear some of Pamela's hard-earned lessons, and how each one taught her an essential skill that you can apply to your own situation. Be inspired and take action! - Learn how to assess your strengths and weaknesses when it comes to managing negative emotions. Build a practice that increases your self-care, confidence and support system.  Sponsored by Main Line Family Law Center For more information, please visit: Main Line Family Law Center at https://myhealthydivorce.com Episode Host, Adina Laver, Founder, Courage to Be Curious, (formerly Divorce Essentials) Find Adina Laver at: https://couragetobecurious.com Guest: Pamela Elaine Nichols  About Pamela: Pamela Elaine is the mother of four children who, like many mothers, put the wants and needs of others first and ignored her own. As a result, her marriage came to a screeching halt. Determined to bounce back strong from divorce, she created a 4-part “Resilient Beauty” practice for health and happiness, which she now shares with other mothers. In her new book, Muddy High Heels: 14 Lessons Learned from My Breakdown, Breakup & Breakthrough, she writes about how to overcome barriers that hold mothers back from their physical, emotional, spiritual and financial beauty. Pamela is President of her business, Destined for Greatness Enterprises, Inc. She has appeared on several radio and news spots to promote health and well-being for women, including The Dr. Oz Show where she shared her story of building her business as a healthy way to bounce back from divorce.

As a loving parent, you worry about your children's well-being during divorce. Learn how to create a parenting plan that will give them the consistency they need and minimize conflict with your ex-partner. Listen to learn what exactly a parenting plan is, how a plan can help you work with your ex-partner, and when co-parent counseling can help. Key Points :  - Learn how to create a legally-binding document that defines what is most important to you as a parent - everything from household rules to medical needs.  - Hear how the process of developing a parenting plan can put you both on the same page from the start. Find out the best ways to communicate changes and decisions.  - It takes time to adjust to co-parenting. Learn when professional help may be needed to implement, interpret, and stick to the parenting plan.  Sponsored by Main Line Family Law Center For more information, please visit: Main Line Family Law Center at https://myhealthydivorce.com Episode Host, Adina Laver, Founder, Courage to Be Curious, (formerly Divorce Essentials) Find Adina Laver at: https://couragetobecurious.com Guests: Sandi Sherr, M.Ed. and Stephanie Newberg, MED, MSW, LCSW About Sandi: Sandi Sherr, M.Ed, is a parenting mediator for Main Line Family Law Center. For over 25 years, Sandi has been dedicated to building strong, healthy families. Sandi's M.Ed. in special education and psycholinguistics has taken her to practically every kind of setting devoted to working with children and their families or caregivers. Her range of psycho-educational experience includes adult behavior therapy; adoption counseling; parenting education; foster care; child development; adolescent special needs; early childhood intervention; and parenting her own three children. To the latter end, she is a veteran volunteer and office holder in her community school district. For more information or advice on creating a healthy parenting plan, contact Sandi at [email protected]. About Stephanie: Stephanie Newberg is a licensed psychotherapist and works with individuals, couples and families. She has been in practice for 15 years specializing in family and couples counseling, co-parenting counseling, implications of divorce on families and grief and loss issues. Stephanie has led numerous workshops and presentations and has published articles on relationship and communication skills, co-parenting counseling, coping with family stressors and children's mental health issues. She lives and practices in Bryn Mawr, PA. To request an appointment, contact Stephanie at [email protected].

Concerned about how to handle the holidays as a divorcing parent?The holidays are stressful, even for the best intentioned parents. Listen to how both a divorced mom and dad bounced back and made it work. This episode will help you to manage powerful emotions that arise during the holidays. Even if your family has had time to process the divorce, the first holiday season is likely to be difficult as you grieve old traditions and memories. Use this episode to discover how to cope in a healthy way. Key Points: - Get ideas for new, positive traditions and deal with gift giving. Find out how to set expectations, communicate changes and create a happy, celebratory atmosphere over the focus of presents. - Balance what you need and what's best for the kids. Learn the most important question to ask yourself as you make plans for the holidays. - Handle expectations of extended family. Hear tips for managing the advice, demands and requests of grandparents, aunts and uncles. Sponsored by Main Line Family Law Center For more information, please visit: Main Line Family Law Center at https://myhealthydivorce.com Episode Host, Adina Laver, Founder, Courage to Be Curious, (formerly Divorce Essentials) Find Adina Laver at: https://couragetobecurious.com Guests: Pamela Elaine Nichols, MHS and Neal Wingenbach Find Pamela at: https://www.pamelaelainenichols.com/ About Pamela: Pamela Elaine is the mother of four children who, like many mothers, put the wants and needs of others first and ignored her own. As a result, her marriage came to a screeching halt. Determined to bounce back strong from divorce, she created a 4-part “Resilient Beauty” practice for health and happiness, which she now shares with other mothers. In her new book, Muddy High Heels: 14 Lessons Learned from My Breakdown, Breakup & Breakthrough, she writes about how to overcome barriers that hold mothers back from their physical, emotional, spiritual and financial beauty. Pamela Elaine is President of her business, Destined for Greatness Enterprises, Inc. She has appeared on several radio and news spots to promote health and well-being for women, including The Dr. Oz Show where she shared her story of building her business as a healthy way to bounce back from divorce. About Neal: Neal Wingenbach is an IT Sales Professional who resides in Houston. Divorced in 2010, he is a father of two. During his transition from married life into single dad life, he found comfort in hearing from others who were going through the same experience. To pay it forward, he hopes to be able to help others during this difficult time of year.

Separation is often the start of the divorce conversation. Who should go? Who should stay? Will I lose rights if I move out? Hear from a panel of experts so you can part ways in both of your best interests. This episode will share what you should know about legal rights before you move out, what temporary living arrangements work, how to decide whether to keep or sell the house, and some ways to sell your house quickly.  Key Points: - Learn about legal obligations, consequences, rights and entitlements around moving out, so you can decide the best time to go.  - Creative ideas for short-term living arrangements that lessen disruption for your children, and minimize the arguing between you, so you can both get a clear head for divorce negotiations.  - Understand the legal, tax and financial implications of selling or keeping your home after divorce.  - Learn how to be a savvy home-seller and get the most for your home, even if you're in a rush due to divorce. Sponsored by Main Line Family Law Center For more information, please visit: Main Line Family Law Center at https://myhealthydivorce.com Episode Host, Adina Laver, Founder, Courage to Be Curious, (formerly Divorce Essentials) Find Adina Laver at: https://couragetobecurious.com Guests: Cris Pastore, Leslie A. Margolies, Jeff Weaver About Cris: Cris Pastore is an expert attorney-mediator and has been a practicing attorney for over 18 years. He became a private divorce mediator in 2007, when he grew increasingly frustrated by destructive nature of the traditional court-contested divorce process. After having mediated hundreds of divorce cases, Cris co-founded Main Line Family Law Center, with the help of his wife, Sharon. Through working with clients and community education, Cris has made it his personal mission to revolutionize this area of practice so that families can emerge healthy and whole once again. Follow Cris on Twitter at @healthy_divorce. About Leslie: Leslie A. Margolies is a lawyer and realtor with Keller Williams Real Estate. Keller Williams is an international real estate franchise with more than 100,000 associates and approximately 700 offices worldwide. It is an Inc. 5000 company and has been recognized as a top real estate company by numerous publications including Entrepreneur Magazine and Forbes. Leslie works in the Keller Williams' Blue Bell office, a leader in Montgomery County for the number of closed sales. A graduate of Temple University, Leslie has practiced law and been a real estate professional for 25 years. She provides professional real estate services to attorneys and their clients who demand a Realtor with an understanding of contract law and of the legal, financial and emotional challenges involved with divorce. About Jeff: With over a decade of experience in the mortgage industry, Jeff can help you explore the many options available so you can make the most informed decision about what is best for you and your family. As a Divorce Mortgage Specialist, Jeff helps clients understand and evaluate the options related to the disbursement of real estate assets prior to the divorce settlement. He helps evaluate the cash flow and home equity protection implications of various financial decisions before, during and after a divorce.There are a lot of decisions to make in divorcing your real estate and having a clear understanding of what you own, what you owe, what you're getting into, what you're getting out of and, most importantly, what you're being stuck with will help you make better decisions for yourself and your family in this process.

"Who will pay for college?" Financing your child's education is confusing on its own, and divorce adds another layer of complexity. Learn how divorce affects financial aid, costly mistakes to avoid, and what you need in your divorce settlement agreement to make college affordable. Listen to hear how colleges calculate what you are expected to pay, when 529 plans are helpful, what types of financial aid are available, and how to structure your divorce agreement to pay for less college. Key Points:  - Understand the college's "expected family contribution" (EFC) and how divorce affects this important calculation. - Hear about the best ways to use 529 plans - plus other savings options that divorcing parents may want to consider. - Learn about each type of financial aid and how your decisions during the divorce can affect their eligibility. - Find out how to negotiate a smart divorce settlement agreement that maximizes your child(ren)'s eligible financial aid, minimizes taxes and creates a fair split of college costs between you and your spouse. Sponsored by Main Line Family Law Center For more information, please visit: Main Line Family Law Center at https://myhealthydivorce.com Episode Host, Adina Laver, Founder, Courage to Be Curious, (formerly Divorce Essentials) Find Adina Laver at: https://couragetobecurious.com Guest: Judy Sciaky, CCPS® , RICP®, AP&G College Planning About Judy: Judy Sciaky is a Certified College Planning Specialist (CCPS) and Retirement Income Certified Professional (RICP) who is dedicated to helping others avoid the mistakes that she made. As the founder of AP&G Financial and its subsidiary AP&G College Planning, her mission is to help families send their children to the school of their dreams without using all their savings, sacrificing their lifestyle or retirement, or going plain broke. Judy is a member and partner of NACPE, the National Association of College Planning Experts, the leading authority on getting students accepted to their best suited college and getting grants and scholarships regardless of income or assets. AP&G and College Planning Experts have helped over 2500 families gain over twenty million dollars in financial aid. Judy has been featured on KYW. She is a member of the NICCP (National Association of Certified College Planners), the National Education Association, the Disciplined Advisor Network, the National Ethics Association, and the Better Business Bureau.

Negotiating financial terms is one of the most stressful parts of a divorce settlement. Understand your "money story" so you don't get angry - or get taken. This episode will help you learn why money is such a hot button in a divorce, define your money story and set yourself on course to reach agreement, work out a fair divorce settlement with a new mindset, and transform your relationship to money following divorce. Key Points: - Understand the underlying concerns, needs, fears, and desires that drive our beliefs about money. - Avoid short-sighted or destructive decisions by becoming aware of your personal money beliefs and motivations. -Be prepared for potential pitfalls and conflicts with your newfound awareness.  -Hear about how people like you have transcended money beliefs to achieve the life they want on their terms. Sponsored by Main Line Family Law Center For more information, please visit: Main Line Family Law Center at https://myhealthydivorce.com Episode Host, Adina Laver, Founder, Courage to Be Curious, (formerly Divorce Essentials) Find Adina Laver at: https://couragetobecurious.com Guest: Maggie Baker, PhD About Maggie: As a practicing psychologist for 30 years, Dr. Maggie Baker offers services for anxiety, depression, relationship issues, trauma, ADHD/ADD and money behavior issues. Her two specialties are the assessment and treatment of ADHD and the psychology of money and wealth. She has written a book about money beliefs and emotions, published in 2011. Crazy About Money tells the stories of people who try to act rationally about money but end up sabotaging their own efforts. Dr. Baker has an MA in General Psychology (Temple University) and a PhD in Child Development and Clinical Evaluation (Bryn Mawr College). She also serves as a consultant to the Center for the Study of Adult Development and an adjunct professor at Chestnut Hill College and Widener Graduate School of Clinical Psychology. Dr. Baker is a member of the Financial Therapy Association, Philadelphia Society of Clinical Psychology, Philadelphia Society of Psychoanalytic Psychology and Pennsylvania Psychological Association.